Neither of us said anything for the longest time. I could've broken down into fretful sobs that would have racked my whole body until I went into a seizure, or I certainly could've thrown the body out the window, ridding any trace that a man by the name of Kyle had even existed.
It was funny, really it was. I didn't even know his last name, and he was dead. I knew what I had done was wrong, for killing unto itself was wrong. I'd be the first of the X-5s to burn in hell for my killings. Anyhow, despite the fact that murdering him was wrong, it had been necessary. Just like all the other killings had been necessary.
I wasn't Ben; I didn't kill for fun. Every murder that I committed had a reason: either the people were after my family, the remaining X-5s, or me.
Yet, every time I would kill, I'd close off a part of myself, attempting to disconnect from the reality. I pretended I was back at Manticore, with Lydecker standing over us, urging us on. So, with his vapid face burning into my mind, I could commit the killing without a second thought. It was business, just as it always had been.
But now, as I gazed at the body of Kyle, something inside of me was moved to compassion. He had been my father. The only one I had ever had.
I won't deny that I had wondered who my parents were. It was a natural childlike thing to do. When I grew older, I was able to forget that such people existed. They were just part of the biting memories that deserved to be repressed.
Now, I knew who my dad had been. And, even though I didn't know the name of my mom, I knew that she was real, and out there somewhere.
I turned back to Carly, trying to swallow my emotions. "I have to leave now," I told her.
"I'm coming with you."
"No, you can't."
"What am I supposed to do? I can't just wait here until they come after me. What if they decide to kill me as well?" she asked, her voice pinched with fear.
I sighed reluctantly. I really didn't want her coming along, but on the other hand, she made a good point. Kyle had most likely tipped off Lydecker as to my whereabouts. Yet, I was surprised Lydecker wasn't here. I couldn't wait around and find out though. And, if Carly was killed, her blood would be on my head.
"Fine," I sighed. "But, hurry up."
She rushed into her room and came back out with a black backpack. Quickly, she shoved some non-perishable food into the backpack, and then strode over to the loveseat. She squatted down in front of it and pulled out a black case and proceeded to open it. "My parents got this for me…since I'm living on my own now…they said I might need it some day." Rising to her feet, I saw that she held a sleek pistol. "And, I guess, today's that day."
With unexpected tenderness that one normally wouldn't give some a weapon, she laid the gun in her backpack on top of the food. Then, she walked over to the Blue Lady and gently laid the plaster statue next to the gun. How ironic. Love and war, next to each other.
"I don't know what power She holds for you," Carly told me, "but whatever it is, perhaps it'll help."
She zipped up the backpack and then slung both straps over her shoulders. "Zack…about what Kyle said to you…"
"Yeah?" I asked, suddenly feeling slightly panicked, knowing that I could no longer deny anything.
"I don't know how much of it is true, and I don't understand everything, but it doesn't matter-"
"Everything matters," I bit back more sharply than I intended to.
"No," she cooed, caressing the side of my face with her soft hand, "the only thing that matters is that you're human, just like the rest of us. You're no different than I am, despite everything that Kyle said."
I nodded faintly, accepting her words, but not believing them. Slowly, I walked towards the door and opened it a crack. "Say good-bye to your apartment, 'cause I don't think we'll be coming back anytime soon," I told Carly.
She gazed almost longingly at it, as the realization of what she was doing set it. The apartment was picture perfect, just the way she had entered it. Of course, I was the one who came and adulterated everything. My bloody t-shirt was still in the sink, along with Kyle's body.
"Let's go," she said, her voice cracking although she was trying to be strong.
We left the apartment building and headed out into the night. As soon as we made it to the forest, we began to run. The demon war had officially started. And the score? 1-0.