A/N this is my first fan fic so far plez r/r this is only chapter one!! I'll write another chapter as soon as I get 5 reviews!! At least!!!
Disclaimer:I don't own anything in this story.. other then the thingy mabob but that doesn't exakly count……I don't think…
A vErY sCrEwEd Up HoGwArTs
ChApTeR 1
"What the hell was that?!?!" cried Ron squinting up towards the sky waiting for the sky to emit yet another flash.
"Who knows and who cares?? We were supposed to be at Hagrid's an hour ago!!! Come on!!" shouted Hermione impatiently who kept looking frantically from her watch to Harry, then Ron and back at her wrist watch continuously.
Harry hadn't said much since the surprising flash. "Oh well," he thought, "it was probably nothing." Harry and Ron jogged to catch up with the now power walking Hermione.
"Harry, you've been quiet all day, how c-," Hermione stopped mid-sentence because a loud *pLoP* and sizzling snow where the object had just landed. Ron peered curiously into the shallow hole. Bunches or red, glittery, magical stars burst out of the sphere shaped thingy mabob.
When Ron was done prodding and poking at it he turned dazedly at Harry, ;)winked;) at him then started crowing like a horny rooster. Harry and Hermione's jaw's both dropped in disbelief. When the shock was beginning to wear off Ron ;)winked;) once again and resumed to normal. Harrry and Hermione exchanged curious glances while Ron had no inclination what had just happened. They continued walking to Hagrid's in silence.
After a friendly and long awaited trip of drinking tea and damaging their jaws on hard cakes at Hagrid's, the trio marched back up to the castle. When the friends came to the place where the thingy mabob had landed Harry bent down to tie his shoe. He told the other two he would be rite there. When they turned their backs Harry slipped the warm thingy mabob in the deepest pocket in his cloak for a closer examination later. He quicky lept up and caught up with the others.
When they got back to the portrait hole *aka* the entrance to the Griffyndor common room, they muttered "Humpty Dumpty" as the fat lady began to swing the portrait out of the way. Seamus, Lavender, Parvati, and Dean were all huddled around Neville. Harry, Hermione and Ron all scrambled over to see what the fuss was about.
"He was *sniff* the greatest toad in the whole *sniff* wide world!! But *sniff* you guys are right, he's in a better place now *sniff*," Neville was trying to stiffle his sobs (A/N If you haven't realized what's going on, Neville's toad, Trevor, has just been jumped and murdered by Mrs. Norris).
"It's okay Neville," Hermione said in a soft, comforting voice, "Remember all the good times you had with him while you guys were at Hogwarts."
"Ya," agreed Parvati, "like when he flew around on one of Fred's Filibuster fireworks, and when he won the handsomest toad award in the beauty contest that Lockhart held-"
Ron ;)winked;). "Ohh, Lockhart, now that's my dreamy man, he's also my idol…" Ron had the same warped look he'd had all day, well atleast since he had layed eyes on the thingy mabob…
"WHAT?!?!"" cried Harry and Hermione,"he's your fucking idol!!!!" Harry added. Once again Ron ;)winked;) and had absolutely no idea what had just happened.
Lavender continued Parvati's list with help from Seamus, Dean, Parvati, Harry and Hermione. Ron was off in hs own little world. All of a sudden Ron ;)winked;) and poked Harry hard in the side (aka love handles).
"That girl over there is DaMn HoT!!!" Ron exclaimed.
"Who? Hermione??" Harry asked wonderingly.
"No."
"Parvati?"
"No."
"Lavender?"
"NO!! The girl over in that group of five with the long, sexy, bright red hair and the dazzling eyes and distinguishing freckles!!"
After seeing who he was talking about he said, "Oh you mean-," Harry shook his head and realized what Ron had just said, "RON!!!!! THAT"S YOUR SISTER!!!" Ron ;)winked;) and went off in his own little world, once again.
Lavender and Dean were just reminding Nevill of the big misunderstanding with Crookshanks and Trevor just last year. After that sentence, the warped look that seemed to have taken over Ron's body that day disappeared. Harry, even more so curious now, went to his dormatory and took out the thingy mabob. He placed it back in his trunk when he had looked it over top to bottom side to side six times. Then he just lay there a thought of reasons why Ron had acted so strangely today.
"Hmmmmm…" he thought as he dozed off into an dreamily sleep.