China Girl
(~Yet ANOTHER lunchtable fic-thing! Thanks for the inspiration, Alma!)
"Did you see the new girl?" Duo asked, poking Heero in the ribs. The other boy grunted, poking his fork into what the cafeteria staff CLAIMED to be mashed potatoes.
"Do I care?"
"Yes, you do." Duo teased, running his hand up the other boy's leg. Heero punched him in the side.
"No fighting at the table, boys," Relena admonished.
"Rena, go p..." Duo looked over at Wufei, waiting for the Chinese boy to pull out the lunchtable rules and read from it. Wufei was staring down at his lunch, frowning. "...pork yourself? Wufei? Are you okay?" Wufei looked up, startled.
"Wha...?"
"I used the 'p' word as a verb, man. Rule number three."
"Oh, right..." Wufei went back to contemplating the green goo on his tray. Duo threw a fry at him.
"Hello? Earth to Wufei, Earth to Wufei, come in Wufei. I don't think it's very productive to have a staring contest with your turkey and gravy..."
"I think Wufei met the new girl," Quatre said, "She's in our Chem II class." Duo grinned.
"Oh, really? What happened to you and that upperclassman, Wu? You know, the TIGHT END on the football team?"
"Not all of us are 'strictly dickly'[1] like YOU, Maxwell," Wufei muttered. Duo gaped at him.
"Man oh man, I think it's Wu's time of the month!"
"Meiran! Meiran! Come sit with us!"
"Meiran?" Wufei looked up at the squeals from the girls at the table behind them. Sure enough, the raven-haired girl was walking towards them, smiling.
"Wu's practically DROOLING..." Duo stage-whispered. Dorothy kicked him under the table.
"SHHHHH." She glared at him. He smiled back, then went back to watching Wufei and the new girl.
"Nihao, Wufei," Meiran said softly as she passed, still smiling.
"....." Wufei stared at her, until Relena kicked him under the table, "Oof... Nihao, Meiran." Wufei reached under the table to rub at his shin. "Relena..."
"Yes?" the blonde asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes in his direction.
"Wu blew it!" Duo snorted. There was a tangle of legs beneath the tabletop as everyone attempted to kick the braided boy. Trowa, having the longest legs and the most flexibilty, won. Duo's eyes bugged out and he fell over, clutching himself.
"Too high," Trowa noted, then went back to his lunch. Quatre stared at him.
"How very naughty of you, Trowa, I'll have to punish you," he grinned. Trowa looked at him.
"...."
"I so, like, did NOT need to hear thaaaaat..." Melody, the head cheerleader, drawled from Meiran's table. Quatre smiled sweetly at her.
"Next time, don't listen."
"He has a point, Melody," Meiran said, poking at her 'food', "What *IS* this?"
"Pork, Meiran." Wufei said. Heero kicked Duo in advance, before he could make any nasty comments.[2] Meiran looked up at Wufei, surprised.
"You're kidding. Pork isn't supposed to be green." She held it up and examined it, "It's revolting."
"It is," Wufei agreed. She smiled at him and went back to finding something edible on her plate.
"Hey, Wufei..." Wufei cringed, pasted a smile onto his face, and turned to face his ex-boyfriend.
"Hello, Treize." Treize leaned down, one hand on the back of Wufei's chair and one flat on the table, and breathed in the smaller boy's face.
"You didn't return any of my calls."
"Of course I didn't," Wufei said irritably, "I told you, I'm not your toy, and you're not going to use me anymore!" He stood up, shoving Treize away. "Pervert."
"Omigod..." Relena whispered, "He's trying to impress the new girl..."
"What did you just call me?"
"I called you a pervert. What, didn't you hear me?" Wufei was growing bolder, up on his tiptoes to face the senior eye to eye, "Want me to say it louder?"
"I'll knock you through a wall."
"Oh, really?" Wufei glanced around. They'd gained half of the cafeteria's attention. "I'd like to see you try."
"FIGHT!" Melody squealed. "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!"
"Melody, hush!" Meiran poked her, but to no avail.
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" the students began to chant. Wufei pushed Treize back against the forming ring of students, adrenaline rushing through his veins.
"You should have left me alone, Treize!" He yelled, "You should know better! When you fuck with me, you fuck with the master!"
"More like masturbater," Zechs hissed, sidling up behind him, "Nothing gets you off but your own hand." Wufei whirled on him, face red.
"WHAT?!"
"You heard me, pretty-boy. You couldn't suck if your life depended on it, and you're not that great in the sack." Wufei's mouth opened, but no sound emerged. Zechs grinned and tossed his hair. "I don't know what Treize still sees in you."
"Fire," Treize answered. Wufei turned again, losing ground quickly. The students had stopped chanting, intent on listening to the words being thrown. "Fire and ice. Both of them." He reached out to tilt the smaller boy's chin up, only to have his hand smacked away. "He may not be that great of a fuck, but he's LOUD."
"How dare you..." Wufei lashed out, knocking Treize over a table. Zechs grabbed Wufei's ponytail and yanked, sending the Chinese boy sprawling on the floor. He looked over at Meiran, who was staring at him with a mixture of horror and disappointment. He noticed briefly, in one of his 'Maxwell Moments', that if he tilted his head just so he could almost see up her skirt... Zechs stepped on his chest, knocking the wind from him.
"Zechs, stop it!" Relena yelled, "You're EMBARASSING me!"
"What is going on here?!" Mr. Borrsich yelled, storming up. The tiny wrestling coach was bright red, his bald head shining in the fluorescent lights.
"Wufei punched Treize, and fell over," Zechs said simply. Wufei opened his mouth to protest, but Mr. Borrsich hauled him up and kneed him in the stomach.
"It's to the Principal's office for you!" he bellowed. He kicked Treize and grabbed him by the arm, pulling at him. "And you, too! MARCH!" He led them off, rather proud of himself, and the students went back to what they were doing.
"You little BITCH..." Relena hissed. Zechs stuck his tongue out.
"All's fair in love and war."
"What do you know about love? You'll fuck anything that walks."
"At least I can get laid," he sniffed, "Why don't you have a boyfriend, anyway?" Dorothy glared at him.
"You idiot. She doesn't have a boyfriend because she's a lesbian." Relena kicked her under the table.
"DORY!"
"Wha..." Zechs stared, eyes wide, "My baby sister is a carpet licker?"
"Well, it's better than having penis breath," Dorothy said, smiling. "Have a nice day, Zechs."
"You... you.... OOOOOOH!" Zechs stormed off, red-faced. Relena kicked Dorothy again.
"Thanks alot. Now what am I gonna tell my parents?"
"The truth would be nice." Dorothy said simply. Relena sighed.
"I guess you're right."
"Penis breath!" Duo laughed hysterically, whipping out a notebook and a pen, "That's a good one!"
"Thank you," Dorothy said. She stood up, tray in hand, "I'm going to throw this out, then run back to my room for my Trig book. Wanna come, Rena?"
"Doesn't she always?" Duo muttered. Quatre kicked him. "Shit, you guys, I'm gonna be covered in bruises!"
"Then maybe you'll learn to keep your big mouth shut," Relena said. She turned to Dorothy. "I'd love to go with you." The two girls walked off, talking.
"Hey, Meiraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan..." Duo cooed. Meiran looked up.
"WHAT?"
"You know, Wufei reeeeeally likes you..." he said, pulling his legs up just in time to miss another kick, "Maybe he'll ask you to the Spring Fling, and...
"After *THAT* little display? I'd never say yes," the Chinese girl stood, clutching her tray, "I've never seen anyone so hostile!"
"He's trying to impress you," Duo pointed out.
"Then let him impress me some other way. I detest violence against human beings."
"Oi, you sound like Rena," he mumbled. Meiran walked past him, tray in hand.
"Whatever you say."
--
Wufei sat down heavily, sulking. He had no classes for the rest of the day, and had nothing to do but sit down and contemplate life. Even if it sucked, it was life, and he had to live it. "Damnit, I don't have a snowball's chance in hell..."
"Nihao, Wufei." He jumped at the soft voice and looked up. Meiran was looking down at him, head cocked slightly to one side.
"Nihao, Meiran," he said. She nodded and started to walk away, but he grabbed her arm, "Meiran..."
"Yes?"
"Will you... will you go to the Spring Fling with me?" Meiran blinked.
"The one tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Ooh, sorry, I can't," she mumbled, "I have to... uh... wash my hair..."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, it'll take all night." Melody walked by and elbowed her gently in the side."Uh... how about we meet that day for lunch instead?" Wufei stood up, shaking his head.
"Nah..." he started off towards the dorm, calling over his shoulder, "I'd rather go out with a girl who's got clean hair."[3]
Meiran stared after him, stunned.
--
"Wufei!" Wufei turned as he walked down the hallway. Treize was striding towards him, an icepack over his eye. "Wait up!"
"What?" he asked. Treize stopped and leaned over so that he was staring into Wufei's eyes.
"Look, I'm really sorry about what Zechs said..." he murmured softly, "I'm sorry we didn't work out. And I'm sorry you thought I was using you. I never meant you any harm." Wufei sighed and leaned against the wall.
"I know. And I know that fighting doesn't solve anything." he said, "I was just..."
"Trying to impress Meiran." Wufei blinked.
"Yes... I was..."
"She's a fine girl," Treize said, "Very bright. Melody asked her to join the cheerleaders, but she declined."
"Why?"
"She said she was much too smart to qualify as a cheerleader." Wufei started to laugh.
"She's brilliant."
"I only wish I could catch your attention the way she did." Treize straightened up and cupped Wufei's chin with his free hand, brushing his thumb against the boy's lower lip. "But envy brings me nothing but pain, and so I shall leave you with this." He swooped down and placed a gentle kiss on Wufei's lips. "Perhaps we can still be friends."
"Perhaps..." Wufei murmured softly. He tried to will his legs to stop shaking like Jello.
"Goodbye, Dragon." And then he was gone. Wufei stared up at the ceiling, then started banging the back of his head against the wall.
"You had everything!" Thud. "Imbecile! He was perfect!" Thud. "Why must you," Thud. "want something," Thud. "that you can never," Thud. "ever," THUD. "EVER," THUD, "have?" THUD THUD THUD THUD...
"Nihao, Wufei." He stopped knocking braincells from his head and looked down. Meiran was staring at him.
"Nihao, Meiran," he gulped, "You... you heard..."
"Every word," she nodded, "Wufei..."
"Y... yes..."
"About the Spring Fling..."
"Yes?"
"Dorm #136 at eight o'clock."
"You'll go with me?"
"You said I was brilliant."
"Yes..."
"And you said that fighting doesn't solve anything."
"Well, yes..." Meiran's gaze didn't waver, and he could feel his face getting hotter as he blushed.
"And you said you wanted something that you couldn't have."
"Yes."
"Well, you can have it. If you ask."
"Meiran, will you go to the Spring Fling with me, if I pick you up at eight?"
"Of course. And, if you're late, I reserve the right to emasculate you."
"As you wish," he bowed deeply.
"The Princess Bride." Wufei straightened, astonished.
"You..."
"Are brilliant." She kissed his cheek. "See you tomorrow, then." She turned with a wink and dashed off to her room.
"Wow..." Wufei whispered, "What a woman..."
--
On Monday Wufei practically bounced into the cafeteria, happy as a clam. He sat down, grinning, and started inhaling his salad. Duo stared at him.
"Oh my God." Wufei looked up.
"Whaaaa?"
"Wu got LAID!"
"WHAAAAAAAAT?!" Wufei kicked at him and Duo winced.
"Come ON, man, you're all peppy! You HAD to have gotten laid!"
"He's gotten laid before." Relena pointed out.
"Tight ends don't count."
"I though you liked tight ends..." Dorothy snickered.
"I do, but it's the principle of the thing."
"There *is* no principle of the thing. There is no THING. You're being an imbecile," Dorothy snorted.
"OmiGAWD!" Melody shrieked. Duo stared at her oddly, but her attention was on Meiran. "You went to the dance with... with a FAG!"
"Say that word again and I will bend you over backwards and shove your bleach-blonde, pigtailed head right up your..."
"Nihao, Meiran." Meiran grabbed her tray, stood up, and turned to face Wufei.
"Nihao," she pointed at his lap, "Is this seat taken? No? Good." Without further ado she plopped down in his lap and dug back into her salad. Duo stared, then started laughing hysterically.
"Wahahahaha... oh, MAN, that was so CLASSIC!" He would have continued to laugh, had Heero not shoved a roll in his mouth. He choked, then fell over when Relena kicked him. He tore the roll from his mouth. "NO FAIR!"
"Life isn't always fair, Maxwell," Meiran pointed out. He looked at her, pouting.
"I thought you detested violence against human beings."
"I lied. And besides, I doubt that you fall under the 'human being' category." Duo's mouth dropped open.
"Whaaaaa..."
"Nice one, Meiran," Relena nodded. Dorothy grinned.
"Welcome to the club." Meiran reached under the table with her free hand, out of sight, and squeezed Wufei's hand. She smiled warmly.
"It's nice to be here."
-----
[1] This is an expression that my friends use. They're all mentally unstable. =^-~=
[2] I'm not sure if I said this in the first fic, but 'pork' was our lunchtable's equivalent to 'fuck'.
[3] Stolen shamelessly from a Dilbert cartoon!