Chapter Four
Dinner
had been delightful. Michael had gone
all out for the kids, feeding them all sorts of things Ginny would never have
allowed them to eat, but they had fun eating anyway! The excuse of "it's the end of the summer" started running a bit
thin, but Ginny just laughed it off. Watching Jimmy having fun always brought joy to her heart, and he was
enjoying himself so much tonight that she just couldn't say no.
After
all the food was consumed, the boys ran upstairs to play with Colin's new Playstation,
while Ginny helped Michael clean up. They chatted casually, but Ginny knew that the conversation would soon
turn serious. In a matter of minutes,
Michael had brought up what Ginny was longing to avoid.
"Have
you thought any more about my offer?'
"What
offer?" she said, trying to act as if she really didn't understand.
"My
offer to go out without the kids."
Putting
dishes in the dishwasher, Ginny spoke without looking him in the eyes. "Yes…but I don't really think it's a good
idea. I mean…after what…well…what we
talked about in the park."
Michael
took her hand and led her into the living room where her signaled for her to
sit. "I want to know what's really
going on. And I don't want you to give
me that crap about it being hard to explain or that I wouldn't understand. I'm an adult, Gwen. Trust me."
Still
not wanting to meet his eyes, she answered, "I do trust you,
really. It's others I don't trust."
"What
others?"
Taking
a deep breath, she finally raised her eyes to his. "Michael, really, this is just…"
"Too
hard to explain?" He sighed at her,
"Gwen, I told you not to hand me that line." With determination he continued,
"If you don't want to date me, then just tell me that. But don't shut me out. You are my friend regardless of how you feel
about me. So talk to me."
Ginny
swallowed hard, "What exactly do you want to know?" Before he could answer she added, "And I'm not promising I'll
give you the full answers, but I will try. But you have to swear on you life that this conversation never leaves
this room."
Shocked
by her statement, Michael furrowed his brow. "Ok, now that kind of scares me."
She
gave him a small smile. "Do you think I
would be this protective of Jimmy if I didn't have to be?"
Looking
as if he were confused, Michael thought for a moment. "Whose son is he? Who is
his father?"
"Nope,
can't tell you that. But I can say that
you wouldn't recognize him name."
"So
no one famous." Michael thought some
more as Ginny bit her tongue. Jimmy's
father was Very famous…in her world. "Is he in some dangerous line of work?"
"Yes,"
Ginny said with a nod. "But not by
choice. He just…can't avoid it."
"I'm
guessing this guy is a Brit."
"Yes."
"Some
kind of James Bond type spy?"
That
made Ginny laugh. "Not exactly James
Bond, but he does have to spy. He's not
really a spy, but in order to do what's expected of him he has to do a bit of
undercover work"
Michael
grimaced, "Great, I am competing with James Bond!"
Laughing
a bit harder Ginny said, "I think Harry would be outraged at you comparing him
to James Bond!" She didn't even notice
that she had said it, but Michael did.
"Harry?"
Ginny
froze. Had she really said it? Now
what?
"His
name is Harry?" Michael looked at her.
"Yes,"
she admitted softly. Suddenly, she
decided that talking about it even a little bit wasn't a good idea. She stood up quickly and announced that it
was time for them to go. She found
Jimmy just around the corner, very upset that he was being forced to leave the
fun he had been having. Michael
protested, saying that he wouldn't ask any more questions, but Ginny had said
too much. Panic started to set in as
the realizatin=on came to her that she almost gave everything away! She couldn't let anyone know too
much. It was too dangerous. Colin and Michael called to them as Ginny
rushed Jimmy out to the car and sped away. She watched Michael in her rear view mirror fade into the distance.
"Why
did we have to leave like that?" Jimmy pouted. "I was having fun, and we never go anywhere!"
"Jimmy,
not now. I'm not in the mood."
Jimmy
crossed his arms and huffed angrily at his mom and didn't say another word all
the way home. Once they arrived, he
stomped down the hall to his room and slammed the door, making sure Ginny had
noticed. She wanted to go to him, but
knew that when she was young and was in a state like that, her mother had only
made things worse by bothering her about it. I'll just wait for him to come to me, she thought and went off to her
own bedroom.
****
"Mommy?"
The
small figure in the doorway called out from the darkness.
Rubbing
the sleep from her eyes Ginny asked, "What's the matter, dear?"
Jimmy
walked slowly up to the edge of the bed and began tugging at the covers. "I'm really upset."
"Why
is that?" Ginny sat up.
"Cause,
I was mad at you."
"I
know you were."
Jimmy
looked up at his mother for the first time with his big green eyes. "Why do you always do things like that?"
"Like
what?"
"You
never let anyone know about my dad. I
heard you talking about him. And then
you made us leave all of a sudden. Why?"
Ginny
breathed deeply. "Because I don't want
anyone to hurt you, and if I let out too much information then that just might
happen. And I know that your father
wouldn't want you to get hurt either."
Jimmy
looked back down at said angrily, "Why would he care? He didn't want me."
With
shock, Ginny reached out for her son and pulled him to her. "Please tell me you don't believe that. That isn't true. Oh, Jimmy, that just isn't true!" Don't cry, she told herself. Jimmy needs you to be strong.
"Well
then, where is he? If he wants me, why
isn't he here?"
Oh
my goodness, this was it. Jimmy had
never really asked too many questions about his father, but Ginny knew there
would come a time when she would have to answer all the really hard
questions. "Your father is in England,
I've told you that."
"I
know, fighting the bad guys." He tossed
his hands down in frustration. "Mom, do
you know how silly that sounds? 'Bad
guys'…sounds like he's in some movie. And he's been fighting bad guys for all these years?"
She
swallowed hard. "There is one man who
is very evil, Jimmy, and it's him that your father is trying to defeat."
"And
this one guy is why my dad isn't here?"
Ginny
nodded.
"Did
it make him mad when you came here to America?"
She
looked away from him at this point, not really knowing how to proceed. She didn't want him to feel like a mistake,
as if he wasn't really wanted…an accident. No, she loved her son very much, and deep in her heart she had always
wanted to have a family with Harry. Jimmy was a blessing in disguise, but how to tell him that?
"Your
father left me, Jimmy, to protect me. But he didn't know that you needed more protection than just that. So I came here to America on my own. In fact…" here it was…now or never… "if you
want to blame someone for him not being here, blame me. He doesn't know where we are. I left him some clues so that he could find
us someday, but I don't think he'll come for us until everything is
better. Do you understand?"
Jimmy
nodded, and then his eyes filled with confusion. "Does he even know about me, mom?"
Feeling
the tears swell up in her eyes, Ginny shook her head no. Watching the disappointment spread across
his face broke her heart and she wanted to make that go away. "But I left a message back in England for
him with one of your Uncles. As soon as
all this mess is over, he'll be told all about you." She smoothed his hair back form his face.
"Mom? Maybe that's why he isn't here."
Ginny
didn't quite understand. "What do you
mean, sweetheart?"
"Well…maybe…" Eyes down cast, Jimmy stammered out his
fear, "…maybe he found out about me and he doesn't…well…want me."
A
tear ran down her cheek; it was unavoidable. "Jimmy, that is impossible. Your
father will be so pleased when he finds out about you. I know he will love you more than life
itself, just like I do." She didn't
think Jimmy believed her, so she decided to delve into Harry's history a
bit. "Did I ever tell you that your
father grew up not knowing either of his own parents?"
Jimmy
looked up at her with surprise. "He
didn't know his Dad either?"
"No
he didn't, nor did he know his mother. His parents died when he was just a baby, and he was raised by people
who only took care of him because they were forced to. So do you know what your father's greatest
wish in the whole wide world has been for most of his life?" Jimmy shook his head at his mother. "He has always wanted a family of his own,
and guess what…you are his family."
Seeing
the wheels spin in her son's head, Ginny smiled and kissed his cheek. Jimmy turned to look at her face to
face. "So you think he'll like me?"
"Nope,"
she said teasingly, "I know he'll love you."
Jimmy
reached out and wrapped his arms around her. Ginny held him closely, not wanting him to ever feel unloved or
unwanted. There was no way to describe
how her heart ached to tell him the full truth, but this would have to do for
now. Leaning back from her, still
keeping his hands on her shoulders, Jimmy asked a few more questions.
"His
name is Harry, isn't it?"
Ginny
nodded.
"What
does he look like?"
"He
looks like you, except he has black hair and wears glasses." She purposefully omitted telling him about
the scar deciding it would be too difficult to explain.
Jimmy
screwed up his face, imagining what he would look like with black hair and
glasses. After a moment, he continued,
"Does he play basketball?"
Ginny
laughed. "Sort of. He plays a different spot that we have in
England, but it's similar to basketball in many ways. Someday, I'll have to show you what it's like."
"Mom,"
Jimmy looked at her firmly, "Would you say my Dad is cool?"
A
fully fledged laugh escaped her, "Yes, I would most certainly say your Dad is
cool!"
"Cooler
than Michael?" he asked excitedly.
"I
think so…and I think eventually you would think so."
Jimmy
gave his mother a final hug before heading off to bed. At the door, he turned back to her and
asked, "Mommy, do you miss him?"
Sighing
heavily Ginny said, "Yes, dear, I miss him very much." A pause and then, "Now, run off to bed or we
will never make it to school tomorrow!"
She
watched as the door closed behind him. The smile faded from her face and the tears that had been so close to
the surface, that she had fought so desperately to hold back, now freely
fell. She sobbed heavily into her
pillow, hoping that everything she had told her son was indeed the truth. For Jimmy had expressed some of Ginny's own
fears. Would Harry accept his son? Would Harry love him as much as she loved
him? Or would Harry feel obligated now
and become resentful to Ginny? Although
she did believe Harry loved her very much, she really didn't know how he would
react to this news when he found out…if he found out.
That
night, Ginny cried herself to sleep.