Title:
Use me
Author:
Skye
Pairings:
none really
Warning:
kinda angsty, kinda dark, mostly sad/depressing, POV...can you guess who?
Disclaimers:
You know the drill....not mine. yadda yadda yadda...don't sue.
C&C
desired, lusted after, etc....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Use
me.
Go
ahead, its okay. Though, I guess it shouldn't be.
For
you I'll endure. Maybe this will help you. I'm your friend. Its the least I can
do, right?
I
wonder sometimes however, whats going through your mind as you grind against
me. Do you think of me as your flesh penetrates my body, or is your mind, your
heart with someone else?
What
do you fell...about me? You never say...anything. The look of rapture on your
face as you reach completion, that I can understand. Everything else mystifies
me.
Yes,
you are a gentle lover. You never have, and I know you never will hurt me
physically. Oh, how you're killing me inside though.
Do
you care?
Have
you ever cared?
I
could come to love you, if you'd let me. But you'd have to change first. I know
you well enough to know you'll never change. In your mind nothing needs
changing. No, I'm not angry. Just very sad...and tired.
I'm
so very tired of your cold embrace, your detached passion, the distance you
keep between us.
I
see you with our friends, our comrades, and I can only smile. You are getting
better, becoming human. Yesterday, I
thought I saw you smile. It was gone in the blinking on an eye but I saw it. I
wanted to weep because you are so beautiful when you smile.
Why?
Why do they get your smiles while all I get is the view of your sweat soaked
back as you hastily scramble from my bed. You come to me in the dark of the
night, you find release in me, and you leave.
Would
it be too much to ask you to stay the night? Just once?
You'd
refuse of course. Waking up beside me will make you face the truth about what
we do. What you do. And you don't want that. Hell, you might even
feel...something. But I know you don't want to. If you did you'd have to admit
that you use me. That what you are doing to me is wrong. That you shouldn't
treat me like this…
It
hurts so badly.
Use
me, Heero...while you can.
Before
I'm tired of you.
The
End.
