Buffy walks into Sunnydale High wearing skin-tight pants, and a spaghetti-strap
top that shows her bra straps.
Willow: "Hey Buffy, your bra straps are showing."
Buffy: "That's the style. Wah, I'm so mad that I died last year. I think I
might take it out on everyone."
Willow: "Okay."
Giles, Xander, Cordelia and Jenny arrive.
Jenny (whispering): "Hey Buffy, your bra straps are showing."
Buffy: "That's the style. Wah, I hate being the slayer."
Oz makes his first appearance.....walking by randomly, repeating "Who is
that girl?" over and over.
Cut to outside, at night. Spike and Dru arrive. Spike is evil. We know
this because he is smoking and wearing a long leather duster. He is
accompanied by Drusilla. She is insane. We know this because she
frequently talks to dolls and dead birds.
Spike: "I am the best thing to ever happen to this show."
Kendra shows up.
Gang (acts shocked): "ooh! Another Slayer!" They look at Giles for
encouragement. He nods, and they continue. "What a surprise! We had no
IDEA that another slayer would be called when Buffy died!"
Kendra: "Uh Tank-uu. Dat ees, eye ahm Ken-draa, the Vam Pyre
Slayrrrr....."
Xander: "What? What the hell kind of accent is that, anyway?"
Suddenly it's Buffy's birthday. She and Angel have sex, and he loses his soul
and becomes EVIL. We know this because he goes out side and smokes.
(viewers): wait a minute, it's really not all that unusual to
smoke after sex.
(author): Okay, we know this because he bites a WOMAN who
is smoking, sucks the smoke out of her throat, and blows it out after he drops
her.......happy?
(viewers): Oh, well, that makes more sense then. Okay, he's evil.
That smoke-sucking was pretty cool, though. But wait a minute.....how'd he have
sex, anyway? He has no breath, no oxygen is carried to his heart, which does
not beat. Logically, blood should not be able to uh.....pump to certain
areas.....
(author): Oh get over it already! It's a bloody show!
Anyway....Buffy finds Angel and wonders why he's being so mean. She doesn't
know he's evil yet, because he's got the same expression on his face that he
has when he's good.
(viewers): You dolt! Of course he's evil! He's wearing
Leather Pants! And we are SOOOO grateful!
Angel flexes and struts around in his leather pants looking HOT.
Angel: "Oh yeah, I'm evil"
(viewers
Angel: "Yes, I have two new ones for my "evil-Angel" look,
bringing my total to FIVE!"
Angel kills Jenny and leaves her in Giles's bed. This is bad because Giles is
SAD.
Spike berates Angel for not killing the slayer, but Angel calls him Rollerboy
and this is FUNNY.
Drusilla: "ooh, I'm naming the stars, and everything's switching, and Miss
Edith wants her tea...."
Angel: "That is SO cool."
Spike wheels off, looking disgusted. "I think I'm going to heave."
Meanwhile, Xander and Cordelia, & Willow and Oz have gotten together, but
we really don't notice because we're hypnotized by Angel's Leather Pants.
Buffy: "That's it, I'm going to kill Angel."
Xander: "Whoo Hoo! It's about time!"
Buffy goes off to kill Angel.
Willow: "Xander, go tell Buffy that I'm going to try to restore Angel's
soul."
Xander: "Okay."
Xander goes and finds Buffy, but before he can deliver his message he's
distracted by Buffy's chest.
Xander: "Hey Buff, your bra straps are showing."
Buffy: "That's the style. Now shut up, I've teamed up with Spike and we're
gonna take Angel down."
Angel's trying to send the world to hell by way of this demon Acathla that's
supposed to swallow the earth, and this is BAD. But he looks REALLY GOOD in
his Leather Pants, so we forgive him.
Spike stands up and beats the crap out of Angel with a crowbar though, and this
is freaking hilarious.
(viewers cheer): "Go Spike! You rock!"
He runs off with Dru, and Buffy sends Angel to hell to save the world....after
Willow restores his soul.
(viewers) : NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! The Leather Pants can't go to
Hell!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!