CHAPTER TEN
The dining room table was beautiful; lace tablecloth, the fine china, gold plated silverware and a huge bouquet of flowers right in the center. Shirley, seated in the guest of honor's seat at the head of the table, looked around at her brood, most of whom were here, and couldn't help but feel terribly sad on what should be a happy day in her life. She had smiled through the traditional "Happy Birthday" song, sung purposefully off key, and even managed a giggle or two at the kids' expressions when Laurie gathered them for the family photo, but one very precious thing was missing. Keith hadn't bothered to show; something that not only hurt her feelings, but worried her as well.
She knew he was going through a hard time right now, but, darn it all, it was her birthday! He could have at least sent a card!
Laurie could see the hurt in her mother's eyes, and it was all she could do not to march up the stairs and drag her prodigal brother down there. She realized that her brothers and sister were thinking the same thing, just by reading their faces as the gifts were brought out.
Then, from the doorway, came a soft voice. "What've I missed?"
Everyone whirled, staring in the direction of the voice. Keith stood there, almost looking like his old self, but not quite. His self-imposed solitary confinement was quite evident in his mannerism, his appearance, his eyes.
Tears sprang to Shirley's eyes as she rose from the table and went to him, grabbing him and hugging his surprisingly bony form. "Oh, Keith!"
"Happy Birthday, Mom," he murmured in her ear as they clung to each other.
"Thank you, honey…" She kissed his cheek, smoothing his hair as she stared at his face.
"Come on, Keith, sit over here by Mom while she opens her presents!" Tracy pulled out a chair and he found himself being propelled toward it, Shirley still holding his hand.
Danny gave his brother a wink as he sat down across from him, while Laurie stood behind Keith, both hands on his shoulders.
"It's a good thing you came down here; I was ready to go get you!" she said, her fingers digging into his shirt.
Keith smiled sadly, reaching up and touching her hand as Shirley dabbed at her eyes.
"Here you go, Mom, from Ken and me," Tracy handed her mother a small, prettily-wrapped package.
Shirley opened it and gaped. It was a silver brooch that said "World's Best Grandma." She looked up at her daughter and her husband. "You…you're pregnant?!" she shrieked.
Tracy nodded, beaming. "We're due this Thanksgiving!"
"Tracy!" Laurie cried out, and she and Shirley took their turns hugging her as Danny and Chris congratulated Ken, then hugged their sister as well.
"Thank God it was your present," Danny looked relieved. "I thought my tag and yours got mixed up!"
Tracy swatted at him, giggling, as Keith stood up. "Way to go, Trace," he smiled, and she began to cry as she went into his arms.
"You'll be a great uncle," she whispered, squeezing him tight.
"You'll be a great mom," he replied, kissing her cheek.
They parted as Danny cleared his throat. "Well, I didn't get you anything near what these two did…unless you get a call from a girl in Fargo, North Dakota…" he grinned, handing Shirley his present.
That brought groans and laughs from his "audience" as Shirley tore off the wrapping. It was a box of audio tapes, marked "The Best of Danny Partridge," and Shirley laughed happily, holding it up for all to see.
"Oh, a set of blanks, huh?" Laurie kidded.
"Actually, dear sister, they are filled with segments from my radio show, each and every one showing my immense talent and eloquent wit."
"Thank you, honey! I can't wait to hear them!" Shirley told him.
"Not to mention your shyness and humility," Chris pulled a face, nudging his brother as he brought out a large box with a huge bow. "Here you go, Mom, from us guys."
Shirley opened the box and lifted a sequined sweater from it. There was an audible gasp from the females in the room. "Oh, boys, this is just beautiful! Thank you!"
She stood up, holding it up for show, and kissing each of her sons on the cheek.
"Great taste, you guys!" Tracy nodded approvingly.
"Yeah, I can imagine how much hair Keith had to sell to get that present!" Laurie marveled, to her brother's chagrin.
Everyone laughed, recalling Danny and Chris's scheme to get their mother a fur coat by selling Keith's belongings to the groupies at school. That birthday seemed like yesterday, almost, to Shirley, and it only brought more tears to her eyes.
"Oh-oh, Mom's turning on the waterworks again," Danny bemoaned.
"Well, then, I'd better not give her my gift," Laurie shook her head.
"Especially if it's something to eat," Chris teased, grinning at his sister's withering look.
"It's not, but if you're not careful, I'll make my famous chipped beef on toast for your breakfast tomorrow," Laurie glowered at him. "Danny, come help me." They stepped into the living room, bringing in an easel with a large sheet draped over whatever it was that was on it.
"Oh, my, what is this?" Shirley put her hand on her throat.
Laurie grinned, proudly pulling the sheet away to reveal a 24x16 painting of the family, circa 1973. Shirley gasped.
"Oh, honey, that's magnificent! Wherever did you get it?" She stepped closer.
"One of my law partners is also an artist, so I had him do this from an old photograph." Laurie looked proud as Danny, Tracy, Ken and Shirley all gathered around it.
"Were we ever that young?" Tracy shook her head.
"Were we ever that cute?" Danny wanted to know.
As their siblings and mother fussed over the painting, Keith and Chris stayed back. Keith was obviously not feeling up to the celebration, and Chris moved over into Shirley's chair.
"How you doing?"
"Okay…I'd rather be upstairs right now," Keith confessed, shifting in his seat.
"Then, go. They'll understand. I can go with you."
Keith nodded. "Yeah, I really think you'd better…" He winced, and Chris helped him stand up. He slipped out the side door as Chris followed, glancing back at his unsuspecting family.
****
Chris looked woefully around him. Keith's drinking binge not only had affected his brother's body, but his surroundings as well. There were cans and bottles littered throughout the room. Shaking his head, he looked down at Keith as he sat on the edge of the bed, leaning up against the post, his face, pale and drawn, dotted with sweat.
"You really managed to drink all this in a couple of days?"
"I thought it was helping…I didn't want to depend on the pills; guess I was afraid I'd run out." Keith swallowed. He felt more than miserable, but he tried not to show it.
"It's never the answer to your problems, pal. I've found that out myself this past little while. All it's gotten me was a headache."
Keith smiled in spite of the pain. "Looks like we're in the same boat, then, huh?"
Chris nodded, sitting on the bed, and reaching over, putting his hand on Keith's neck. "You really could use a radiation treatment. Your nodes are swollen."
"Can you guarantee it'll put me back in remission?"
Chris looked sadly at him, shaking his head. "You know I can't."
Pressing his head into the post, Keith closed his eyes, his chest heaving. "Then, forget it."
"We could try some chemo."
Keith swallowed hard. "No…look, all I want to do is stop the pain. Can you get me something stronger than what I've got?"
"Not without risking serious addiction."
Keith almost laughed. "What does it matter, Chris? I'm gonna die, anyway."
Chris clenched his fists. "Stop saying that. You're NOT gonna die. You can still beat this!"
His brother looked up at him, his deep brown eyes filled with sadness. "But at what price?" He said it so softly, Chris barely heard him.
Chris looked down at him, swallowing. Keith grimaced with oncoming pain, and his whole body tensed, riding it through. Chris put a hand on Keith's shoulder. "I'll get you some Valium or something."
****
Chris and Danny cleaned Keith's room, gathering the empty cans and bottles and stuffing them into trash bags before their mother saw the disaster. She still hadn't been told of the seriousness of Keith's illness; none of the women had been. It was a terrible little secret between the three of them, but one that Chris had brought up time and again to his brothers. "She really should be told," he would say, right before Danny and Keith shot him down.
Another reason for the cleaning out, was that Chris was afraid that Keith would end up taking the Valium with the alcohol; a deadly mix. He figured once they rid the room of the booze, it wouldn't be such a temptation. The Valium was strong; strong enough that Chris had to warn his brother of the dangers of addiction, just to be on the safe side. If, God willing, it turned out that Keith would NOT die from the cancer, Chris didn't want to see a brilliant career shattered on the wayside.
Keith hadn't given up the booze without a fight; the argument that had ensued nearly carried out into the hall and down the stairs, but Danny had broken it up. And Chris had been adamant. No alcohol or no pills. No either, or. Keith's choice. Reluctantly, Keith succumbed to his brother's challenge.
The room clean, Chris kept his part of the bargain and gave Keith five of the strong painkillers. "Okay, now, try not to take them unless you really, really need them. They're one step down from morphine and while they're wonderful in helping your pain, they are also a narcotic. The last thing you need is to get strung out on them," Chris instructed, placing the bottle into Keith's hand.
Keith stared at it almost reverently, and Danny and Chris exchanged worried looks.
"Did you hear me, buddy?" Chris asked, closing Keith's hand over the pill bottle with his own, if just to get his attention.
Keith looked up. "Yeah, yeah, I heard you." He turned away, setting them on his desk as his brothers watched. "Thanks for the disaster cleanup."
"No prob," Danny shrugged. "You…need anything else?"
Keith shook his head, sitting on the bed. "Only time, I guess."
Chris smiled, ruffling Keith's hair, and he and Danny started for the door.
Keith gulped. "Uh, Chris?"
Chris stopped, looking back. His brother's face was very pale and he looked so vulnerable, that Chris's heart went out to him. "Yeah, bud?" He moved back toward him as Danny stayed at the door, his hand on the knob.
"How bad should I let the pain get before I take one of those?" he nodded toward the desk.
Chris frowned. "Well, that depends on your tolerance level. You know what you can handle and what you can't."
Keith nodded, clutching the post beside him. "Oh. I just…didn't want to let it…floor me, or anything."
Chris eyed him. "Are you hurting right now?"
Keith brought up a shaky hand to wipe at his eyes. "Yeah," he confessed in a whisper.
Putting his hand on Keith's shoulder, Chris felt him push against it, and he looked at Danny. "Get him some water."
Danny did as he was told as Chris stepped over, grabbing the pill bottle from the desk.
Keith hunched forward, trying to muffle his outcry, and Chris was there beside him in an instant, shaking out a capsule. "Easy, buddy."
"Hey, guys, what's up?"
It was Laurie's voice in the doorway and Keith moaned as Chris whirled around.
Seeing her older brother in obvious pain, Laurie put a hand to her mouth. "Oh, my god!"
"He's okay," Chris left Keith's side, pushing Laurie back out into the hallway.
"Chris - "
Danny was hurrying past her with a Dixie cup full of water and Laurie wrenched away from Chris's hold on her arm, moving back to the doorway.
"What's going on here?" she demanded, watching Keith take the Valium. She maneuvered in between her brothers. "Keith?"
Still hunched over, Keith looked up at her, grimacing. "It's okay…I just had a little pain…"
Laurie snatched the bottle from Danny's hand. "Valium? Keith, this is not for a little pain." She eyed Chris and Danny. "Is there something going on that I don't know about? Because if there is…" She shook the bottle at them threateningly.
"Coming out of the remission is painful, Laurie," Chris tried to explain.
"Yes, but, Valium?" She looked down at Keith. "You're holding something back, aren't you?"
Keith looked away, and Laurie swallowed, her eyes riveted on him. "Keith…" She sat down on the bed next to him. He still wouldn't look at her, and she hesitantly put her arm around him.
He pulled away, standing up, his back to her, and her gaze dropped to her lap. Chris and Danny edged toward the door, finally slipping out and closing it behind them as Keith remained standing. He glanced behind him. "You can go, too," he told Laurie.
"Keith, talk to me. What's going on?"
He shook his head. "I just want to be alone, okay?"
She looked frustrated. Why was he pushing her away? They'd been so close when they were younger, but now… Her voice shook as she spoke. "I need you to talk to me. I'm scared and I don't understand why you keep running from me."
She saw his shoulders sag. "Laurie, please."
She began to cry as she rose from the bed, going up behind him. She put her hands on his shoulders. "I don't know why you're doing this, but…I want you to know that I love you and I'm here for you any time." She leaned in, kissing his cheek and moving to the door. He didn't move and she went out. In hearing the door shut, he winced, putting his head back and swore at the ceiling.
The dining room table was beautiful; lace tablecloth, the fine china, gold plated silverware and a huge bouquet of flowers right in the center. Shirley, seated in the guest of honor's seat at the head of the table, looked around at her brood, most of whom were here, and couldn't help but feel terribly sad on what should be a happy day in her life. She had smiled through the traditional "Happy Birthday" song, sung purposefully off key, and even managed a giggle or two at the kids' expressions when Laurie gathered them for the family photo, but one very precious thing was missing. Keith hadn't bothered to show; something that not only hurt her feelings, but worried her as well.
She knew he was going through a hard time right now, but, darn it all, it was her birthday! He could have at least sent a card!
Laurie could see the hurt in her mother's eyes, and it was all she could do not to march up the stairs and drag her prodigal brother down there. She realized that her brothers and sister were thinking the same thing, just by reading their faces as the gifts were brought out.
Then, from the doorway, came a soft voice. "What've I missed?"
Everyone whirled, staring in the direction of the voice. Keith stood there, almost looking like his old self, but not quite. His self-imposed solitary confinement was quite evident in his mannerism, his appearance, his eyes.
Tears sprang to Shirley's eyes as she rose from the table and went to him, grabbing him and hugging his surprisingly bony form. "Oh, Keith!"
"Happy Birthday, Mom," he murmured in her ear as they clung to each other.
"Thank you, honey…" She kissed his cheek, smoothing his hair as she stared at his face.
"Come on, Keith, sit over here by Mom while she opens her presents!" Tracy pulled out a chair and he found himself being propelled toward it, Shirley still holding his hand.
Danny gave his brother a wink as he sat down across from him, while Laurie stood behind Keith, both hands on his shoulders.
"It's a good thing you came down here; I was ready to go get you!" she said, her fingers digging into his shirt.
Keith smiled sadly, reaching up and touching her hand as Shirley dabbed at her eyes.
"Here you go, Mom, from Ken and me," Tracy handed her mother a small, prettily-wrapped package.
Shirley opened it and gaped. It was a silver brooch that said "World's Best Grandma." She looked up at her daughter and her husband. "You…you're pregnant?!" she shrieked.
Tracy nodded, beaming. "We're due this Thanksgiving!"
"Tracy!" Laurie cried out, and she and Shirley took their turns hugging her as Danny and Chris congratulated Ken, then hugged their sister as well.
"Thank God it was your present," Danny looked relieved. "I thought my tag and yours got mixed up!"
Tracy swatted at him, giggling, as Keith stood up. "Way to go, Trace," he smiled, and she began to cry as she went into his arms.
"You'll be a great uncle," she whispered, squeezing him tight.
"You'll be a great mom," he replied, kissing her cheek.
They parted as Danny cleared his throat. "Well, I didn't get you anything near what these two did…unless you get a call from a girl in Fargo, North Dakota…" he grinned, handing Shirley his present.
That brought groans and laughs from his "audience" as Shirley tore off the wrapping. It was a box of audio tapes, marked "The Best of Danny Partridge," and Shirley laughed happily, holding it up for all to see.
"Oh, a set of blanks, huh?" Laurie kidded.
"Actually, dear sister, they are filled with segments from my radio show, each and every one showing my immense talent and eloquent wit."
"Thank you, honey! I can't wait to hear them!" Shirley told him.
"Not to mention your shyness and humility," Chris pulled a face, nudging his brother as he brought out a large box with a huge bow. "Here you go, Mom, from us guys."
Shirley opened the box and lifted a sequined sweater from it. There was an audible gasp from the females in the room. "Oh, boys, this is just beautiful! Thank you!"
She stood up, holding it up for show, and kissing each of her sons on the cheek.
"Great taste, you guys!" Tracy nodded approvingly.
"Yeah, I can imagine how much hair Keith had to sell to get that present!" Laurie marveled, to her brother's chagrin.
Everyone laughed, recalling Danny and Chris's scheme to get their mother a fur coat by selling Keith's belongings to the groupies at school. That birthday seemed like yesterday, almost, to Shirley, and it only brought more tears to her eyes.
"Oh-oh, Mom's turning on the waterworks again," Danny bemoaned.
"Well, then, I'd better not give her my gift," Laurie shook her head.
"Especially if it's something to eat," Chris teased, grinning at his sister's withering look.
"It's not, but if you're not careful, I'll make my famous chipped beef on toast for your breakfast tomorrow," Laurie glowered at him. "Danny, come help me." They stepped into the living room, bringing in an easel with a large sheet draped over whatever it was that was on it.
"Oh, my, what is this?" Shirley put her hand on her throat.
Laurie grinned, proudly pulling the sheet away to reveal a 24x16 painting of the family, circa 1973. Shirley gasped.
"Oh, honey, that's magnificent! Wherever did you get it?" She stepped closer.
"One of my law partners is also an artist, so I had him do this from an old photograph." Laurie looked proud as Danny, Tracy, Ken and Shirley all gathered around it.
"Were we ever that young?" Tracy shook her head.
"Were we ever that cute?" Danny wanted to know.
As their siblings and mother fussed over the painting, Keith and Chris stayed back. Keith was obviously not feeling up to the celebration, and Chris moved over into Shirley's chair.
"How you doing?"
"Okay…I'd rather be upstairs right now," Keith confessed, shifting in his seat.
"Then, go. They'll understand. I can go with you."
Keith nodded. "Yeah, I really think you'd better…" He winced, and Chris helped him stand up. He slipped out the side door as Chris followed, glancing back at his unsuspecting family.
****
Chris looked woefully around him. Keith's drinking binge not only had affected his brother's body, but his surroundings as well. There were cans and bottles littered throughout the room. Shaking his head, he looked down at Keith as he sat on the edge of the bed, leaning up against the post, his face, pale and drawn, dotted with sweat.
"You really managed to drink all this in a couple of days?"
"I thought it was helping…I didn't want to depend on the pills; guess I was afraid I'd run out." Keith swallowed. He felt more than miserable, but he tried not to show it.
"It's never the answer to your problems, pal. I've found that out myself this past little while. All it's gotten me was a headache."
Keith smiled in spite of the pain. "Looks like we're in the same boat, then, huh?"
Chris nodded, sitting on the bed, and reaching over, putting his hand on Keith's neck. "You really could use a radiation treatment. Your nodes are swollen."
"Can you guarantee it'll put me back in remission?"
Chris looked sadly at him, shaking his head. "You know I can't."
Pressing his head into the post, Keith closed his eyes, his chest heaving. "Then, forget it."
"We could try some chemo."
Keith swallowed hard. "No…look, all I want to do is stop the pain. Can you get me something stronger than what I've got?"
"Not without risking serious addiction."
Keith almost laughed. "What does it matter, Chris? I'm gonna die, anyway."
Chris clenched his fists. "Stop saying that. You're NOT gonna die. You can still beat this!"
His brother looked up at him, his deep brown eyes filled with sadness. "But at what price?" He said it so softly, Chris barely heard him.
Chris looked down at him, swallowing. Keith grimaced with oncoming pain, and his whole body tensed, riding it through. Chris put a hand on Keith's shoulder. "I'll get you some Valium or something."
****
Chris and Danny cleaned Keith's room, gathering the empty cans and bottles and stuffing them into trash bags before their mother saw the disaster. She still hadn't been told of the seriousness of Keith's illness; none of the women had been. It was a terrible little secret between the three of them, but one that Chris had brought up time and again to his brothers. "She really should be told," he would say, right before Danny and Keith shot him down.
Another reason for the cleaning out, was that Chris was afraid that Keith would end up taking the Valium with the alcohol; a deadly mix. He figured once they rid the room of the booze, it wouldn't be such a temptation. The Valium was strong; strong enough that Chris had to warn his brother of the dangers of addiction, just to be on the safe side. If, God willing, it turned out that Keith would NOT die from the cancer, Chris didn't want to see a brilliant career shattered on the wayside.
Keith hadn't given up the booze without a fight; the argument that had ensued nearly carried out into the hall and down the stairs, but Danny had broken it up. And Chris had been adamant. No alcohol or no pills. No either, or. Keith's choice. Reluctantly, Keith succumbed to his brother's challenge.
The room clean, Chris kept his part of the bargain and gave Keith five of the strong painkillers. "Okay, now, try not to take them unless you really, really need them. They're one step down from morphine and while they're wonderful in helping your pain, they are also a narcotic. The last thing you need is to get strung out on them," Chris instructed, placing the bottle into Keith's hand.
Keith stared at it almost reverently, and Danny and Chris exchanged worried looks.
"Did you hear me, buddy?" Chris asked, closing Keith's hand over the pill bottle with his own, if just to get his attention.
Keith looked up. "Yeah, yeah, I heard you." He turned away, setting them on his desk as his brothers watched. "Thanks for the disaster cleanup."
"No prob," Danny shrugged. "You…need anything else?"
Keith shook his head, sitting on the bed. "Only time, I guess."
Chris smiled, ruffling Keith's hair, and he and Danny started for the door.
Keith gulped. "Uh, Chris?"
Chris stopped, looking back. His brother's face was very pale and he looked so vulnerable, that Chris's heart went out to him. "Yeah, bud?" He moved back toward him as Danny stayed at the door, his hand on the knob.
"How bad should I let the pain get before I take one of those?" he nodded toward the desk.
Chris frowned. "Well, that depends on your tolerance level. You know what you can handle and what you can't."
Keith nodded, clutching the post beside him. "Oh. I just…didn't want to let it…floor me, or anything."
Chris eyed him. "Are you hurting right now?"
Keith brought up a shaky hand to wipe at his eyes. "Yeah," he confessed in a whisper.
Putting his hand on Keith's shoulder, Chris felt him push against it, and he looked at Danny. "Get him some water."
Danny did as he was told as Chris stepped over, grabbing the pill bottle from the desk.
Keith hunched forward, trying to muffle his outcry, and Chris was there beside him in an instant, shaking out a capsule. "Easy, buddy."
"Hey, guys, what's up?"
It was Laurie's voice in the doorway and Keith moaned as Chris whirled around.
Seeing her older brother in obvious pain, Laurie put a hand to her mouth. "Oh, my god!"
"He's okay," Chris left Keith's side, pushing Laurie back out into the hallway.
"Chris - "
Danny was hurrying past her with a Dixie cup full of water and Laurie wrenched away from Chris's hold on her arm, moving back to the doorway.
"What's going on here?" she demanded, watching Keith take the Valium. She maneuvered in between her brothers. "Keith?"
Still hunched over, Keith looked up at her, grimacing. "It's okay…I just had a little pain…"
Laurie snatched the bottle from Danny's hand. "Valium? Keith, this is not for a little pain." She eyed Chris and Danny. "Is there something going on that I don't know about? Because if there is…" She shook the bottle at them threateningly.
"Coming out of the remission is painful, Laurie," Chris tried to explain.
"Yes, but, Valium?" She looked down at Keith. "You're holding something back, aren't you?"
Keith looked away, and Laurie swallowed, her eyes riveted on him. "Keith…" She sat down on the bed next to him. He still wouldn't look at her, and she hesitantly put her arm around him.
He pulled away, standing up, his back to her, and her gaze dropped to her lap. Chris and Danny edged toward the door, finally slipping out and closing it behind them as Keith remained standing. He glanced behind him. "You can go, too," he told Laurie.
"Keith, talk to me. What's going on?"
He shook his head. "I just want to be alone, okay?"
She looked frustrated. Why was he pushing her away? They'd been so close when they were younger, but now… Her voice shook as she spoke. "I need you to talk to me. I'm scared and I don't understand why you keep running from me."
She saw his shoulders sag. "Laurie, please."
She began to cry as she rose from the bed, going up behind him. She put her hands on his shoulders. "I don't know why you're doing this, but…I want you to know that I love you and I'm here for you any time." She leaned in, kissing his cheek and moving to the door. He didn't move and she went out. In hearing the door shut, he winced, putting his head back and swore at the ceiling.