"I had a family, Kakarotto,
And I liked it."*
Vegeta
And in a heartbeat, he was gone.
And Vegeta, who was Prince, warrior, father, and husband, died that day. And the warrior had died bravely and wildly and passionately, in accord with the manner in which he had lived his life. And he had died without hesitation in order to protect those in his life whom he loved more than life itself.
It had just been three weeks since that day in which he had looked into Trunks' eyes and had seen himself reflected back in those soft lavender shades of the unconditional love his son had had in his heart for him. And now, just three weeks later, the proud Prince stood looking defiantly into another set of eyes, eyes that were the epitome of evil it itself, and suddenly, the torment he had been experiencing for the last several months had come into focus with crystal clarity for Vegeta. Somehow he had known, without knowing how he knew, that this day was predestined to come.
As Vegeta clinched his fists and began to power up, he knew in his heart that he had made the right choice. And he wondered what he would he would miss the most in his life so far, and he realized the single most important loss he would experience would be that he would never be able to kiss his son again. Yet, he had helped give life to that exquisite little lavender haired creature once and now, he had the honor of giving him life once again and he savored the exquisiteness of that.
As his power levels began to escalate and surge through him, he found himself surrounded by the brilliant light of an explosion that was imminent, and he wondered also what regrets he would leave the world of the living with. And he realized that no matter how hard he had tried, not one of his fellow warriors had ever honored or truly acknowledged his royal heritage. And he discovered that he would regret never having achieved that.
And he found that he would also regret that not one of them had ever bothered to try to look beyond the walls that he had built around his heart, even though that would not have been an easy undertaking. They simply did not understand that those walls were built to shield himself from the horrors of his life. And they no idea of the full extent of that horror.
For no one was there to comfort him that night his beautiful young mother was brutally raped and killed by Frieza, and no one there to help him pick up the pieces of his shattered little 5 year old body after Frieza had raped him too that night, and there was no one there to protect him from the daily brutality and humiliation he was forced to endure after Frieza had taken him from the King. Becoming the object of Frieza's brutal passions and hatred was why he was taken from the King in the first place and he became an object of ridicule, rather than Prince. And so he erected those walls to protect himself from the brutality that had forced its way into his life, and after a time, in order to cope, he became brutality and embraced it.
And it was not that he sought their sympathy, rather, he had simply desired to have the other members of the earth's special forces look into his eyes and acknowledge the pain he had endured, but far beyond that, he wanted them see his triumph. He wanted them to know what he had been through, and to honor him for having had the strength and the power and the passion within himself, and for himself, to have survived it. And he wanted them to know that in spite of all the things that Frieza had taken from him, his pride had stayed intact, beyond Frieza's grasp.
He realized that Bulma had tried to connect with him in the way that he desired but, as a female, she simply could not understand his warrior pride, yet he loved her anyway, and he had vowed from the first time he laid eyes on her that he would not ever tell her about his life at the hands of Frieza. It would have simply hurt her too badly.
And he then realized that of all people, Trunks knew somehow, without knowing what he knew or how he knew it, and he was the only one who had reached out to Vegeta and touched him with that which he needed. And that, he would never regret.
And he knew he must stop his current train of thought and suppress the tears that were rising up inside of him or he simply would not be able to do what he had to do.
"I am a warrior!" he had said out loud to himself this one last time, "I can do this!"
And he knew that he so desperately did not want to say goodbye to his son forever, yet he knew that his son deserved to live. Determined not to allow his resolve to weaken, his tears began to flow anyway and bending over and clinching his fists he cried out once again.
"I AM A WARRIOR! I CAN DO THIS!!!"
And he turned to growing cloud of electric light energy, his energy, that encased him, and he raised his fists against it in defiance of its weakness and he challenged it to transcend its limitations. And so, it did.
And the proud Prince didn't even hear the sound of the shattering of his body as the explosion ripped through him in that brilliant flash of light, and in an instant, that which he had set out to do was complete. And with that, Vegeta was gone.
He had chosen to make the ultimate sacrifice for his family with the fullness of all the love within him. And he did so knowing that this time, he would be gone forever as he had simply destroyed too many innocent lives to be forgiven. Vegeta knew when he had determined to sacrifice his life that he would not be allowed to cross over into the next dimension this time. Yet, he chose to sacrifice himself anyway, without regard to the consequences of his actions.
Immediately upon his death, he knew that he would be erased, and cleansed, and would return as someone else one day, and Vegeta, husband, father, warrior, and Prince, would simply cease to exist. And he chose to sacrifice himself knowing that he would never again be able to recognize his son, knowing that he would never be able to check on Trunks from the other world, and knowing that he would never be able to send his love out to his son on the wings of Anuhea's summer mountain breezes. And when the erasure was complete, he knew that he would not even remember that he had ever even had an exquisite little lavender haired son named Trunks.
Yet, the proud warrior stood there bravely that day as he assumed his rightful and honorable position with the legendary Saiyan warriors of old, and bravely he met his fate head on, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that his love for his family was real, and with that, he realized that he had found that place deep within him that was worthy of their affection. And Vegeta died three weeks to the day after he had seen himself reflected back to himself in those soft lavender shades of unconditional love he saw in the eyes of his son. And so, he had laid down his life to destroy the evil known as Majin Buu.
And as he began to drift through the vast expanse of the nothingness that encased him, his awareness of himself began to slip, and he realized that one by one, his each of his memories were escaping from him into the void. And all he could do was watch each one as it left him and drifted away while he tried to cling to a faint remembrance of a life that used to be. And suddenly, he thought he saw a lavender shaded flash of light come toward him and resonate through him and he so desperately wanted to grasp it and cling to it so he could know that he still existed, somewhere, someplace, but yet, that disappeared as well.
And as the black nothingness drew him further into it and the last traces of his essence were about to disappear, single words of distant voices began to reverberate through what remained of his awareness of himself and with that, Vegeta could no longer hold on. And just at that very instant when the nothing would be complete and he would cease to be, he was blinded by and absorbed by a brilliant flash of light, and unable to stop it he merged with it, and he was gone.
And after becoming apparent to King Yemma that Majin Buu still lived, the erasure process was stopped at the very last second. And Vegeta was allowed to keep his body after all, so that he could help in the battle that still raged in the land of the living. Vegeta, it seemed, had sacrificed himself for nothing.
After he had finally arrived in the other world, a familiar presence stayed with him night and day at his bedside as he continued to linger in that place between substance and void, and she feared the worst for her son, knowing that the erasure process might not have been stopped in time.
And she would sit on the bed by him, and would position him onto her lap and sometimes she would hold him close all through the night, and at other times, she would lie beside her son, embracing his unconscious body and whispering to his essence to please wake back up.
And then one morning, as if by magic or miracle, he awoke to find himself in the tiny arms of someone he had not seen in 33 years. And Anuhea continued to gently embrace her son as she told him why King Yemma had halted the erasure. The evil known as Majin Buu had survived, and Vegeta would be needed to help in the battle to destroy that evil once and for all. But for now, King Yemma planned to allow Vegeta to remain in the other world under Anuhea's care until he was fully recovered from his ordeal.
And when he was a little stronger, she gathered for him a suitable set of garments one day, and after he had dressed, she returned with food and drink to help him regain his strength, and when he had eaten, she said she wanted to show him the other world viewing room, and helped him to his feet. And with that, the still young and exquisitely beautiful Anuhea and her son made their way slowly down the hallway to the other world viewing room.
And weeping openly, she showed him the very spot where she had stood every day for the last 33 years when she would come to there to check on him. And she then showed him the window from which she would send her love to him on the wings of her wild and warm summer mountain breezes. Then she promised him that she would help him learn to communicate with his own son in that manner, and that soon he too would be able to launch his love down to his own son every day until he was able to return to the world of the living.
And as she was speaking, Vegeta was suddenly overwhelmed by the realization that he still knew Trunks! He remembered his son! And he could scarcely breathe!
And struggling to suppress his tears, Vegeta looked at the beautiful little Queen and he asked her to please leave him for a while.
And after she had closed the door, and only when he was certain he was alone and the intimacy of what he was going to do would not be disturbed, Vegeta, the father, fell to the floor on his knees, buried his face in his hands, and wept as he reached out to reclaim each and every exquisite detail about his son and about their life together. And then, as though it were happening for the very first time, Vegeta remembered that day when he saw himself reflected back to him in those soft lavender shades of unconditional love which emanated from his son's eyes. And he savored the exquisiteness of that again and in that savoring, Vegeta let his mind slip, recalling that brilliant lavender shaded light as it approached him while his was in the nothingness, how it tried to touch him and take hold of him and passed through him, unable find anything to grasp. Suddenly Vegeta realized that the lavender light was Trunks reaching out to him, trying to touch him and take hold of him, struggling not to let his father go. Somehow his son had known, without knowing what he knew or how he knew it, that Vegeta was desperate to be touched in that manner, that his very essence depended upon it.
Suddenly and out of nowhere, an intense jolt of electric light energy literally surged through his body and he was filled with the presence of son and he felt connected to him and he realized that the connection between them transcended time and space. Overwhelmed by the intensity of what he was experiencing, Vegeta, the father, whose onyx black eyes simply could not contain his tears, sat on the floor with his back resting against a wall and continued the process of restoring the memories of his son. And he was moved when he recalled that night up in the quiet solitude of the bedroom of Kakarrot's youngest son, when he had reached down and gently brushed the lavender hair from his sleeping son's eyes, and then Vegeta recalled what it felt like to kiss Trunks for the very first time. And in his mind, he thought about it, and he savored it, and he experienced it, as though it were happening for the very first time. And with that, the overwhelmed and exhausted Prince fell asleep.
And at that very moment, back in the land of the living, a lavender haired boy laid on a bed high up on Kami's lookout, still unconscious and still unaware that his father had even died. The touch of his father's hand brushing the hair out his eyes began to stir the Trunks out of his unconscious state, and feeling the warmth of his father's gentle kiss on his forehead brought Trunks into a dazed, sleepy sort of awakeness. And Trunks rolled over, fully expecting to see Vegeta standing there beside him. But when he finally opened his eyes and sat up in bed, he discovered that he was in strange bed, in a strange bedroom, and he was alone in the room, except for Goten who was still unconscious on the bed next to him.
And as he sat upright on the bed trying to figure out how his father could have gotten out of the room so quickly, Trunks proudly decided that Goten's dad was no longer the only one who knew instant transmission! And he decided he was going to go right over, wake Goten up and brag on his dad a little bit. But before he could move off of the bed, from out of nowhere, a jolt of intense electric light energy surged through his little body and struck him with such intensity that literally slammed him back down on the bed. But even in its intensity, it didn't frighten him, as it felt like Vegeta somehow and it was causing Trunks to feel loved and connected to him. And Trunks knew, without knowing how he know, that everything would be okay because his father, who was the best dad in the world and most powerful fighter in the universe, would be back, just as soon as he possibly could, from where ever it was he had just gone to.
I had a family, Kakarotto,
and I liked it"*.
Vegeta
* Episode 231 - The Ultimate Evil Majin Buu Appears
Note: Episode 237 - For the sake of my Loved Ones - Vejita Falls: I have referenced this episode even though I took no direct quotes from it, because Vegeta's sacrifice to destroy Majin Buu is an actual part of the episode, and I in no way claim it as my original idea. The story of Vegeta's heart that centers around the sacrifice is however, my original concept, and one to which I proudly stake claim.
(to be continued)