Chapter 2
"Ok, my question is, did you know you were a superhero in our dimension or do you know you like just fight crime in a super cool way that gets all the women."
"I do what I have to do." Batman concentrated on the road as they sped into Gotham city.
"So where are we going? To fight Riddler? Freeze? Ivy? Catwoman? Penguin? Two Face?"
"The Joker."
"Good old Jack Nicholson."
"Excuse me?"
"Sorry, Xander world joke." Xander bit his lip and examined the rubber uniform he was in. It had some interesting claws on the gloves along with many little things attached to the belt. "So how come I don't get a cape? Am I not cool enough? Or does the side kick not get a cape? Robin got a cape."
"When we get there we are going through the ceiling. The Joker is holding a party of important people hostage. You distract his company while I get the Joker."
"Why did you pick me? Am I special?"
"Your pain called out to me through the dimensions. You remind me of others."
"Like yourself. And Robin. Man I'll do anything for Buffy... I mean I did. I thought you didn't want others to revenge stuff."
"I have accepted that it is the only way. I saw you. You were looking for revenge." Xander was quiet. The car pulled to a stop and Batman was gone before Xander could take a breath. He scrambled after him and found Batman was already halfway up an impressively tall building, like most of the buildings in Gotham city.
"Hey. Batman? How do I get up?" Xander waved to Batman who paused.
"Climb." Xander touched the wall doubtingly and his hand stuck. He experimented with the other and found he could climb.
"I'm like a tree lizard! Check me out!" Batman was waiting impatiently at the top when Xander arrived.
"I'm going through the sky light. Come after me and deploy your grapple. I'll take out the Joker. Try not to get any civilians killed...or yourself."
"Hey. Wait! Which button is it!" Batman was already jumping. Xander shielded his eyes from the flying glass and followed suit. He plunged through the gaping hole in the glass with a high pitched scream. He frantically pressed buttons on his belt which caused spikes to appear on his back and also a rope to be released. He watched it hit the ceiling and stick. He felt himself jerk to a halt in midair.
"I'm alright folks!" He waved to the people down below. A murmur went through the crowd.
"This isn't good." Xander watched as about 50 guns aimed at him. He used the claws on his gloves to cut the rope and drop to the ground.
"Who are you?" Someone called with distain.
"I'm Batman's new partner, Lizardman." Quietly to himself he muttered "We've got to come up with a better name."
"He's getting away with the mayor!" Xander looked up to see Batman and The Joker fighting. The thugs wearing clown faces (of course) were between them. Xander hopped down into the sea of people and began punching and clawing at the thugs. At first it was alright but then he began to get tired.
The thugs closed in around him. Xander gulped nervously. They had him backed up against a column that supported the high ceiling. Xander scrambled backwards and right up the side of the pillar.
"Haha! I got away!" More guns trained on him and he scooted to the other side. He could feel bullets ricochet and chip the stone. He dared to glance around and down. His stomach flip flopped.
"Think Xander. Do something you would do to distract the vampires from Buffy...no, bad idea. These guys have guns." He looked down to his belt and made a note to tell Alfred to label the buttons. "Must be some sort of weapon on here. I know Batman is more of a fists and kicks man but come on." Xander looked over his outfit and happened to catch sight of tiny holes under the claws on his knuckles.
Xander pressed a smaller button that he had overlooked on his glove. Something shot out of the holes and sprinkled on the thugs below. "Haha! Lizard Poison!" The acid he bet wasn't lethal but it was a great distraction. A cloud of steam went up and Xander was able to detach himself and leap from the pole to a safe area. The remainder of the thugs came at him and he fended them off with some martial arts moves until The Joker called them back.
"Come my children. Another night perhaps Batman?" The Joker shoved the mayor off a platform into the crowd and the thugs disappeared. Xander made his way over to Batman.
"Thank you. You saved my life." The mayor said to Batman.
"Mayor, why was the Joker here? What did he want?"
"He said something about the bleeding insane dementia of dimensions. Do you know what that means?"
"I might. It doesn't bode well. I'll keep in touch. We'll get to the bottom of this." Batman did the cool man swirl of the cape and headed for the door. Xander chased after him.
"What I don't get is why you have big open lavish parties. They're always raided by evil villains. It's practically a guarantee. It's happened in just about every Batman movie back home." Batman was about to say something but Xander continued. "I know what you're going to say. It's like Sunnydale. People deny things like this happen. Okay. I understand."
"I knew you would need the poison."
"What's that supposed to mean? I'm not good enough? I'm a civilian and I've clocked many field hours! I'm a good fighter. Just because I'm not invincible, and I'm new at the big scary guys with guns thing doesn't mean you have the right to say that."
"You won't need it once you are more properly trained." Xander crossed his arms and pouted. They arrived back to the manor early in the morning. Alfred led Xander to a bedroom where there were clothes laid out for him. Alfred waited by the door.
"Hey Al, I'm kinda not fond of Xander strip shows." Xander remembered the time after senior year he would never speak of.
"You're uniform young master. You wanted the devices labeled?"
"Damn you're good." Xander took the uniform off and Alfred left before Xander changed.
"Ok, my question is, did you know you were a superhero in our dimension or do you know you like just fight crime in a super cool way that gets all the women."
"I do what I have to do." Batman concentrated on the road as they sped into Gotham city.
"So where are we going? To fight Riddler? Freeze? Ivy? Catwoman? Penguin? Two Face?"
"The Joker."
"Good old Jack Nicholson."
"Excuse me?"
"Sorry, Xander world joke." Xander bit his lip and examined the rubber uniform he was in. It had some interesting claws on the gloves along with many little things attached to the belt. "So how come I don't get a cape? Am I not cool enough? Or does the side kick not get a cape? Robin got a cape."
"When we get there we are going through the ceiling. The Joker is holding a party of important people hostage. You distract his company while I get the Joker."
"Why did you pick me? Am I special?"
"Your pain called out to me through the dimensions. You remind me of others."
"Like yourself. And Robin. Man I'll do anything for Buffy... I mean I did. I thought you didn't want others to revenge stuff."
"I have accepted that it is the only way. I saw you. You were looking for revenge." Xander was quiet. The car pulled to a stop and Batman was gone before Xander could take a breath. He scrambled after him and found Batman was already halfway up an impressively tall building, like most of the buildings in Gotham city.
"Hey. Batman? How do I get up?" Xander waved to Batman who paused.
"Climb." Xander touched the wall doubtingly and his hand stuck. He experimented with the other and found he could climb.
"I'm like a tree lizard! Check me out!" Batman was waiting impatiently at the top when Xander arrived.
"I'm going through the sky light. Come after me and deploy your grapple. I'll take out the Joker. Try not to get any civilians killed...or yourself."
"Hey. Wait! Which button is it!" Batman was already jumping. Xander shielded his eyes from the flying glass and followed suit. He plunged through the gaping hole in the glass with a high pitched scream. He frantically pressed buttons on his belt which caused spikes to appear on his back and also a rope to be released. He watched it hit the ceiling and stick. He felt himself jerk to a halt in midair.
"I'm alright folks!" He waved to the people down below. A murmur went through the crowd.
"This isn't good." Xander watched as about 50 guns aimed at him. He used the claws on his gloves to cut the rope and drop to the ground.
"Who are you?" Someone called with distain.
"I'm Batman's new partner, Lizardman." Quietly to himself he muttered "We've got to come up with a better name."
"He's getting away with the mayor!" Xander looked up to see Batman and The Joker fighting. The thugs wearing clown faces (of course) were between them. Xander hopped down into the sea of people and began punching and clawing at the thugs. At first it was alright but then he began to get tired.
The thugs closed in around him. Xander gulped nervously. They had him backed up against a column that supported the high ceiling. Xander scrambled backwards and right up the side of the pillar.
"Haha! I got away!" More guns trained on him and he scooted to the other side. He could feel bullets ricochet and chip the stone. He dared to glance around and down. His stomach flip flopped.
"Think Xander. Do something you would do to distract the vampires from Buffy...no, bad idea. These guys have guns." He looked down to his belt and made a note to tell Alfred to label the buttons. "Must be some sort of weapon on here. I know Batman is more of a fists and kicks man but come on." Xander looked over his outfit and happened to catch sight of tiny holes under the claws on his knuckles.
Xander pressed a smaller button that he had overlooked on his glove. Something shot out of the holes and sprinkled on the thugs below. "Haha! Lizard Poison!" The acid he bet wasn't lethal but it was a great distraction. A cloud of steam went up and Xander was able to detach himself and leap from the pole to a safe area. The remainder of the thugs came at him and he fended them off with some martial arts moves until The Joker called them back.
"Come my children. Another night perhaps Batman?" The Joker shoved the mayor off a platform into the crowd and the thugs disappeared. Xander made his way over to Batman.
"Thank you. You saved my life." The mayor said to Batman.
"Mayor, why was the Joker here? What did he want?"
"He said something about the bleeding insane dementia of dimensions. Do you know what that means?"
"I might. It doesn't bode well. I'll keep in touch. We'll get to the bottom of this." Batman did the cool man swirl of the cape and headed for the door. Xander chased after him.
"What I don't get is why you have big open lavish parties. They're always raided by evil villains. It's practically a guarantee. It's happened in just about every Batman movie back home." Batman was about to say something but Xander continued. "I know what you're going to say. It's like Sunnydale. People deny things like this happen. Okay. I understand."
"I knew you would need the poison."
"What's that supposed to mean? I'm not good enough? I'm a civilian and I've clocked many field hours! I'm a good fighter. Just because I'm not invincible, and I'm new at the big scary guys with guns thing doesn't mean you have the right to say that."
"You won't need it once you are more properly trained." Xander crossed his arms and pouted. They arrived back to the manor early in the morning. Alfred led Xander to a bedroom where there were clothes laid out for him. Alfred waited by the door.
"Hey Al, I'm kinda not fond of Xander strip shows." Xander remembered the time after senior year he would never speak of.
"You're uniform young master. You wanted the devices labeled?"
"Damn you're good." Xander took the uniform off and Alfred left before Xander changed.