That's What She Said
*There are people who say what ya wanna hear,
Even on a rainy they tell you the sky is clear.
When you really, really love someone, am I right when I say that you want them near?
And if you can't even tell them things that they wanna hear...
"Always forever--" were things she said.
"Never say never--" Those simple lies that she made
"I will never leave you--" All the love that I thought she had.
But can you blame me? No-- cuz that's what she said.*
As I walk through the front door of my apartment, I welcome the rain. It's bittersweet melody seems to relate to the hurt inside of me. I've never felt such confusion before, such... lonliness. I mean, what else are you supposed to feel when you love a lie? I just wish that I'd known before what I know now.
Last Week....
"Hey Baby, what's up?" I asked as my longtime girlfriend Heather stepped into my car.
She smiled weakly.
"Nothing... just drive. You and I have to talk," she said dully as she stared out the window shield. Confused, I turned to look at her for the first time since she got in my car. Her normally sparkling blue eyes were now an icy gray and the white of her eye red from crying. Her rosy cheeks were pale and expressionless. Her jaw was set firmly with absolutly no trace of a smile on her lips. She seemed very upset about something, and I had a gut feeling that it was with me.
"Heather, is something wrong?" She simply shrugged.
"Why would you think that something's wrong? I'm fine," she answered with a hint of annoyance in her voice. I knew that she was lying, but I wanted to ease into the situation without any problems.
"Are you sure? I mean, you look a little upset,'" I replied, unsure. She turned to me, faster than expected.
"Will you just drive?! I told you, I'm fine!" she growled. I guess that she could see the hurt on my face as I turned to start the ignition, because she gently tried to ease the tension that she'd caused.
"Look, Matt, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to get yelled at; I'm just having a bad day, that's all." I looked at her, much relieved to see a sincere grin spread across her face.
"I love you," she said softly. I smiled at her; hearing her say that always fixed everything.
"I love you, too."
*That's what she said.
She told me we'd see forever.
That's what she said, she said, yeah.
And there are people who say what they really mean...
She said she'd always be there, she said she'd always care!
Just when you think that you can trust that someone you love...
Tell me why! Do you know how stars can fall from above?
"Always forever--" were things she said.
"Never say never--" Those simple lies that she fed
"I will never leave you--" All the love that I thought she had.
But can you blame me? No-- cuz that's what she said.
That's what she said.
She told me we'd see forever.
That's what she said! Oh, yeah.
That's what she said.
She told me we'd be together!
That's what she said, she said, yeah.*
"She made it look so easy," I say under my breath as I walk down the sidewalk. "I don't see how she could do this to me. Didn't she even realize that when I said it I meant it?! I'd rather not even hear her say it at all instead of having to hear her take it back! At least that wouldn't have been a lie." I desperatly run a hand through my now wet hair and look at the gray skies above me. "God, how could she do this to me?! How could you allow her to do this to me?" I yell. After standing like this for a mintue, I close my eyes and drop my head, realizing that blaming God wouldn't do any good. There was really no one to blame... except her. I'd been vulnerable enough to give her my heart, and what does she do? She stomps on it. I reach up to stroke my cheek when I feel a warm tear slide onto my fingertips. "Oh God, what's happening to me?" I whisper, no longer able to contol my feelings. Not knowing what else to do, I sink to the pavement, my body being taken over by sobs.
Last Night...
I glanced over at her as we sat at the resturant. 'This is it, Camden,' I thought as I licked my lips. It had to be the perfect moment to ask her, she was quietly eating her food, a look of sheer contentment across her flawless face. I took a deep breath and take her free hand.
"Heather?" I said softly. She looked up, the usual happiness apparent in her eyes.
"Yeah?" she asked delicatly. I smiled and began to stroke her hand with my thumb. I'd rehearsed this moment thousands of times in my mind, and now I was finally able to make it reality. My heart was pounding so hard and so fast, I was sure that she could hear it. After all, it'd belonged to her ever since I'd first laid eyes on her.
"Heather, you and I have been dating a long time--"
"One year and six months tonight," she said, grinning. I smiled.
"Yeah, and hopefully we'll make it much longer." I looked into her confused eyes and swallowed, figuring that there really was only one way to do this. I got down before her on one knee and took her hand back into mine.
"What I mean is-- Heather, I love you, so much, more than I thought that it was possible to love someone, and I would be honored if--" I said as I reached into my coat pocket and opened a little velvet box, "If you would be my wife, now and forever." I never tore my gaze off of her, and yet I don't exactly remember when her warm gaze froze over.
"I'm sorry, Matt, but I can't." I was speechless. What had I done? Did I miss something? Was there something that I hadn't given her?
"Okay," I whispered, moving back into my chair. After several minutes of an awkward silence, I finally got rid of the lump in my throat long enough to say, "I thought you loved me." I was starring at my plate, but I looked up to search for some reasurrance in her eyes. I didn't expect what she said next.
"I didn't think that you would take it so seriously-I don't feel that way. This was just a fling, ya know?." It was then that my heart officially broke. "I gotta go." She quickly grabbed her coat and purse and ran for the door, leaving me and my love the table.
*You made promises that you couldn't keep!
You're not hurting yourself, you're only hurting me.
Why would you say things that you really didn't mean?
Oh, how can I make you see just what you did to me?
You said how much you really cared- just when I thought I was in love.
Girl, how could ya do?
If I were you I could not lie, even once, to the face of the one that I loved so much!*
Now, as I finally pull myself together, I feel a hand resting upon my shoulder. Part of me wants to believe that it's Heather, but the touch is too strong to possibly be compared with hers. I look up to see my best friend John looming over me.
"Hey, man, I come home from work to find you sitting out here crying in the rain-- wanna go inside and talk about it?" I don't recognize the worry the was obvious in his features, the worry for me.
"I'll always be here for you, you know that, right?" He asked soothingly. I feel the tears well in my eyes again as I prepare to tell my friend that I'd lost Heather, but how do you tell someone that your whole world's come crashing down on you? I didn't really know what to say, so I told him how I truly felt.
"I'm so scared, John, I'm so scared," I whisper as the tears come falling from my eyes. He looks at me sympathetically and sits next to me, pulling me into a hug. I'm not an affectionate person, but that hug seemed to be exactly what I needed.
"It's okay, man, it's gonna be okay," he says softly as he sees the seriousness of this situation. "I don't know what's going on, but like I said, I'll aways be here for you. You're my best friend, buddy!" I smile through my tears and pull away.
"Thanks, John, you're the best."
"No problem. Let's go inside and talk." I agree and we stand, ready to yet again face the emptiness in my heart.
*"Always forever--" were things she said.
"Never say never--" Those simple lies that she fed
"I will never leave you--" All the love that I thought she had.
But can you blame me? No-- cuz that's what she said.
That's what she said.
She told me we'd see forever.
That's what she said! Oh, yeah.
That's what she said.
She told me we'd be together!
That's what she-- oh, that's what she said.*
*There are people who say what ya wanna hear,
Even on a rainy they tell you the sky is clear.
When you really, really love someone, am I right when I say that you want them near?
And if you can't even tell them things that they wanna hear...
"Always forever--" were things she said.
"Never say never--" Those simple lies that she made
"I will never leave you--" All the love that I thought she had.
But can you blame me? No-- cuz that's what she said.*
As I walk through the front door of my apartment, I welcome the rain. It's bittersweet melody seems to relate to the hurt inside of me. I've never felt such confusion before, such... lonliness. I mean, what else are you supposed to feel when you love a lie? I just wish that I'd known before what I know now.
Last Week....
"Hey Baby, what's up?" I asked as my longtime girlfriend Heather stepped into my car.
She smiled weakly.
"Nothing... just drive. You and I have to talk," she said dully as she stared out the window shield. Confused, I turned to look at her for the first time since she got in my car. Her normally sparkling blue eyes were now an icy gray and the white of her eye red from crying. Her rosy cheeks were pale and expressionless. Her jaw was set firmly with absolutly no trace of a smile on her lips. She seemed very upset about something, and I had a gut feeling that it was with me.
"Heather, is something wrong?" She simply shrugged.
"Why would you think that something's wrong? I'm fine," she answered with a hint of annoyance in her voice. I knew that she was lying, but I wanted to ease into the situation without any problems.
"Are you sure? I mean, you look a little upset,'" I replied, unsure. She turned to me, faster than expected.
"Will you just drive?! I told you, I'm fine!" she growled. I guess that she could see the hurt on my face as I turned to start the ignition, because she gently tried to ease the tension that she'd caused.
"Look, Matt, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to get yelled at; I'm just having a bad day, that's all." I looked at her, much relieved to see a sincere grin spread across her face.
"I love you," she said softly. I smiled at her; hearing her say that always fixed everything.
"I love you, too."
*That's what she said.
She told me we'd see forever.
That's what she said, she said, yeah.
And there are people who say what they really mean...
She said she'd always be there, she said she'd always care!
Just when you think that you can trust that someone you love...
Tell me why! Do you know how stars can fall from above?
"Always forever--" were things she said.
"Never say never--" Those simple lies that she fed
"I will never leave you--" All the love that I thought she had.
But can you blame me? No-- cuz that's what she said.
That's what she said.
She told me we'd see forever.
That's what she said! Oh, yeah.
That's what she said.
She told me we'd be together!
That's what she said, she said, yeah.*
"She made it look so easy," I say under my breath as I walk down the sidewalk. "I don't see how she could do this to me. Didn't she even realize that when I said it I meant it?! I'd rather not even hear her say it at all instead of having to hear her take it back! At least that wouldn't have been a lie." I desperatly run a hand through my now wet hair and look at the gray skies above me. "God, how could she do this to me?! How could you allow her to do this to me?" I yell. After standing like this for a mintue, I close my eyes and drop my head, realizing that blaming God wouldn't do any good. There was really no one to blame... except her. I'd been vulnerable enough to give her my heart, and what does she do? She stomps on it. I reach up to stroke my cheek when I feel a warm tear slide onto my fingertips. "Oh God, what's happening to me?" I whisper, no longer able to contol my feelings. Not knowing what else to do, I sink to the pavement, my body being taken over by sobs.
Last Night...
I glanced over at her as we sat at the resturant. 'This is it, Camden,' I thought as I licked my lips. It had to be the perfect moment to ask her, she was quietly eating her food, a look of sheer contentment across her flawless face. I took a deep breath and take her free hand.
"Heather?" I said softly. She looked up, the usual happiness apparent in her eyes.
"Yeah?" she asked delicatly. I smiled and began to stroke her hand with my thumb. I'd rehearsed this moment thousands of times in my mind, and now I was finally able to make it reality. My heart was pounding so hard and so fast, I was sure that she could hear it. After all, it'd belonged to her ever since I'd first laid eyes on her.
"Heather, you and I have been dating a long time--"
"One year and six months tonight," she said, grinning. I smiled.
"Yeah, and hopefully we'll make it much longer." I looked into her confused eyes and swallowed, figuring that there really was only one way to do this. I got down before her on one knee and took her hand back into mine.
"What I mean is-- Heather, I love you, so much, more than I thought that it was possible to love someone, and I would be honored if--" I said as I reached into my coat pocket and opened a little velvet box, "If you would be my wife, now and forever." I never tore my gaze off of her, and yet I don't exactly remember when her warm gaze froze over.
"I'm sorry, Matt, but I can't." I was speechless. What had I done? Did I miss something? Was there something that I hadn't given her?
"Okay," I whispered, moving back into my chair. After several minutes of an awkward silence, I finally got rid of the lump in my throat long enough to say, "I thought you loved me." I was starring at my plate, but I looked up to search for some reasurrance in her eyes. I didn't expect what she said next.
"I didn't think that you would take it so seriously-I don't feel that way. This was just a fling, ya know?." It was then that my heart officially broke. "I gotta go." She quickly grabbed her coat and purse and ran for the door, leaving me and my love the table.
*You made promises that you couldn't keep!
You're not hurting yourself, you're only hurting me.
Why would you say things that you really didn't mean?
Oh, how can I make you see just what you did to me?
You said how much you really cared- just when I thought I was in love.
Girl, how could ya do?
If I were you I could not lie, even once, to the face of the one that I loved so much!*
Now, as I finally pull myself together, I feel a hand resting upon my shoulder. Part of me wants to believe that it's Heather, but the touch is too strong to possibly be compared with hers. I look up to see my best friend John looming over me.
"Hey, man, I come home from work to find you sitting out here crying in the rain-- wanna go inside and talk about it?" I don't recognize the worry the was obvious in his features, the worry for me.
"I'll always be here for you, you know that, right?" He asked soothingly. I feel the tears well in my eyes again as I prepare to tell my friend that I'd lost Heather, but how do you tell someone that your whole world's come crashing down on you? I didn't really know what to say, so I told him how I truly felt.
"I'm so scared, John, I'm so scared," I whisper as the tears come falling from my eyes. He looks at me sympathetically and sits next to me, pulling me into a hug. I'm not an affectionate person, but that hug seemed to be exactly what I needed.
"It's okay, man, it's gonna be okay," he says softly as he sees the seriousness of this situation. "I don't know what's going on, but like I said, I'll aways be here for you. You're my best friend, buddy!" I smile through my tears and pull away.
"Thanks, John, you're the best."
"No problem. Let's go inside and talk." I agree and we stand, ready to yet again face the emptiness in my heart.
*"Always forever--" were things she said.
"Never say never--" Those simple lies that she fed
"I will never leave you--" All the love that I thought she had.
But can you blame me? No-- cuz that's what she said.
That's what she said.
She told me we'd see forever.
That's what she said! Oh, yeah.
That's what she said.
She told me we'd be together!
That's what she-- oh, that's what she said.*