Two-Edged
By Mitch, Shaine, and Shatterclaw. Individual rating: PG.
"So what do you want me to do?" Belladonna asked nervously.
Mitch led her through the lab into a back room. "This is the file room...your new office."
"Thanks..."
"You'll start out with the hard copies."
Belladonna's jaw dropped at the sight of the folders covering the table. "You're kidding?"
Mitch smiled. "It's not so bad."
"Uh huh...well at least I'll have a life again someday...when I'm seventy-five..."
"These need to be put in alphabetical order."
"Aye-aye, sir!"
"Just call me if you have any trouble."
"Okay..."
"But one thing..."
"Yeah?"
"Don't talk to anyone about what you read."
"What? I have to read them too?"
"No, just the title on the top. I know how curious you are. ...What do you like for lunch?"
"Food...something other than bread and water...preferably Mickey D's."
Mitch smiled left her to her work, closing the door behind him.
"Great," Bell muttered. "Wonder how he ever works like this..." Irish music began to filter through into the room, and Bell somehow managed to bear it until lunchtime.
Mitch returned with cheeseburgers, fries and two large Cokes for Bell, noting that the pile had indeed gone down a bit. "How's my new file clerk doing? Are you hungry?"
"I am starved, and awful...what did you do, just drop these all over the floor? I mean, I found stuff as far back as '29!"
"That's why I needed a file clerk." He smiled. "Let's go put the food on the examining table."
"F-f-f-foood?" She grabbed the bag from his hand and raced out of the room.
"So am I a good boss?"
"Not bad," she said around a mouthful. "Almost as good as Crim."
"I have another cheeseburger here if you're hungry."
She looked up. "Fooooood!" The cheeseburger flew out of Mitch's hand and toward her mouth. He smiled again and took a bite of his grilled chicken sandwich. I can't believe that she actually manages to breathe while she's doing that...
"I know filing reports can be hungry work."
"Thank you. And I'm sorry about the tricks. So what did you ever do before me?"
He took a sip of green tea before answering. "I used to spend one month a year until I got too busy, so now I hire someone or get a Boomer to do it."
"A Boomer? Huh, you're cruel..."
"We need these hard files because computers can be doctored. But you've never seen a file clerk Boomer...no personality, but effective."
"You dare tell me a Boomer can do my job? I laugh in your face - I laugh at your beer! I laugh at your plaid shorts!"
"Well, humans do a better job."
"Damn right." She took a big gulp of the Coke.
"The can discriminate between files. Boomers work fast but they can mess things up. That's why I seldom use them."
"Yeah, I see how a Boomer would take one look at that mess and just go rogue...I'm not entirely sure I won't..."
"That's why I need a smart young woman to be my file clerk."
"Oh, so the beer switch and the bagpipe stuff didn't bother you at all?"
Mitch smiled as he took another sip of the tea. "Yes it did..."
"Ah, so you're just flattering me to put me off guard..."
"But I do remember what it was like to be a kid."
"Thanks. It's not easy, being a kid, a superhero, and trying to look normal..."
"Just learn to take stock in your friends and respect people, Bell. You'll go far."
"Thanks, Boss. I will..."
///
"Hey, Boss, you want the Wing fired up?"
"No, we're sneaking in, getting the sword, and sneaking out. No explosions, no plane crashes, and no bike chases."
Rai shot a pleading look at Shaine. Boooriiiing... Crimson noticed and slapped Rai in the head.
"Hey, be careful, Boss! You know these pilot types get their brains sloshed around enough as it is..."
"That's okay. There's nothing valuable in there anyway. And you," he looked at Rai, "Be quiet."
Crimson smiled. "Don't worry, Freefall. We'll replace any broken parts."
"Really!"
"Full health, full coverage."
"Begging the Commander's pardon...but can we go now? Or is it Pick on Rai Day?"
"April second..." Shaine pretended to think for a moment. "Why, yes it is!"
"I do believe it's Pick on Rai Day!" Crimson turned to Shaine again. "Make a note: April second, Pick on Rai Day."
"Done."
"Gooood...now we have to think of something nasty for it." Shaine giggled evilly at this. "Maybe babysitting Bell?"
"Oh, no...that's just inhumane!"
"Or both Saki and Bell," Crimson mused.
"Isn't there some kind of law against that, Boss?"
"No, I make the law. Ravens' Law 10a: Pick on Rai Day may call for extreme measures... Let's get going."
"Extreme measures...ooh, I like the sound of that..." Shaine's eyes twinkled.
Rai groaned.
///
The flight to the trench went by quickly. "Freefall, scan the area."
"Looks pretty damned boring down there. There's some life, but not much. Most of it is at the other end, and farther down."
"Good. Rai, cover us. After you, Mulder." Crimson extended his arm.
Crimson sighed as they entered the trench. "Hard to believe we once fought fifteen battles here. I just wish they'd been spaced apart further. So, where is Excalibur?"
"Further down this way."
"This is where we fought Genom's first combat Boomers...and down there, Red Equinox." He smiled slightly. "And here is where I went head to head with Genom Chicago's CEO."
"Huh?"
"The old one. San...something. Never could remember his name. Anyway, we dueled, he called a few Boomers, and then he ran. We won, and Genom ate the losses.
"Ah, the good old days...things were so much easier back then. Did you know there was a time when we ran around without our cloaks on? Didn't even think to use them."
"Reckless..."
"Yeah. Stupid, foolhearted, and a few others too, but we did it. And the General gave us hell for it."
"We're getting close."
Crimson looked around. "Yes, this looks about right...I think. Darien moved around a lot during the fight."
He walked up to a pile of rocks. "Hmmm."
"That's not it. Over here."
"Next one over?"
"Yeah."
He walked over to her. "Scan for lifeforms again." He bent down, examining the ground near the rocks.
"Five lifeforms, about ten feet away...they've got a big-ass power source with them."
"Figured they'd be here. Not too uncommon...see this cable?" It ran under the pile.
"Yeah."
"It's a trap. Low level power running to it. A trigger of some kind. Do a broadband scan, say about seventy-five to eighty-five feet, expanding..."
"There's a gridwork of smaller power sources...a few hi-res spikes in the power. Scan confirms recording devices."
"Hm...whatever shall we do, Freefall?" He kicked a piece of debris. "Rai, we're being watched."
"Told you I had a bad feeling about this...but nooooo..."
"I'm open to ideas."
He did. "Mind if I have some fun?"
She shook her head. "How did I know you were going to say that?"
"Because you know I never do." He stood, kicking another piece of junk, and bouncing it off to the left. It hit the shell of a wrecked car, and nothing happened. "Freefall...can you do a low level laser burst, say five feet behind me, as I pick up the sword?"
"All right..." She armed her weapons.
"Oh, and jam the cameras and whatever other recording devices you think they might have." He adjusted some sort of control on his arm, then nodded to her.
Shaine fired, and Crimson's cloak flared out.
"Aw, shit! What was that?"
He pulled the sword free. "Special effects...with attitude."
"That's nice," Shaine said faintly, as cameras flashed around them.
"WHO DARES?" a voice boomed. Omar, Mav, Belladonna, and Poe crept out from behind another outcropping of rocks. Crimson pointed the sword at them.
"This is just peachy," Shaine muttered over the comms.
"Rai, please tell me Saki's standing out here somewhere?"
"Why me?"
"Who dares disturb Excalibur?"
"Mordred, Morgaine, and Sir Lancelot...heh..."
"Quiet, you. I'm trying to instill fear!"
"Can't exactly do that if you're laughing out loud, huh Boss?" Rai asked.
"Um...I am Omar, keeper of the Lore... Arthur Pendragon? But you are no Raven..."
"A Raven?" Crimson countered. "Do I have feathers?"
"Erm no, not at all sir...it's just...well, legends tell of another who shall claim the sword..."
"Bah! No one but Arthur shall claim Excalibur! --And now that I have, I shall be off."
"Wait! You can't take that...it's not yours!"
"You dare call me a thief?"
"Er no...not at all...no, it's just that the knights of this city should claim this sword..."
"Behold the Lady of the Lake!"
"Which one? Michigan?" Rai laughed.
She turned off her external speakers. "Oh, sure, make me the aquatic tart who goes around tossing swords at people..."
"You, a tart, never? But I wouldn't mind if you tossed swords at me..."
"Watch it, pal..."
"Any time, my aquatic tart..."
"I used to have a full-sized replica Athmari longsword...and it was sharp."
"Yes, ma'am," Rai said humbly.
Omar was still sitting in stunned silence.
"You still do not believe me?"
"No, it's just the sword is so much more modern than...well, Medieval England, right..."
"Time is different in Avalon," Shaine countered.
"Arthur" looked to the lady. "And this world has changed...Excalibur has changed with it. Now, if you will excuse me, there is much work to be done." He turned away.
"Rai, pyros on five, right behind us...on five we cloak, and take off. One...two...three..."
Omar and the others called after them, to no avail. Seconds later, the black-armored knights were gone.
///
"A toast to the sword Excalibur!"
Shaine raised her bottle and drank straight from it; Rai followed suit. "Think there'll be an Arthur web page up next week?"
"One can hope...but I'm sure they'll somehow link him to the 'Birdmen'...whoever they really are. I kind of like those kids, they're so much fun..."
"Yeah, maybe to you," Shaine sighed.
"What, like them? Me, like anyone?"
She shook her head.
"He's got you there. I mean, we work for him...and he hates us!"
"Yeah." She faked a British accent. "Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
"At your pay scale?" he retorted. "I think not, Ms. Gates."
"What did you call me? That is just sick...just listen to the abuse I have to put up with!"
"You're shocked? He threatens to sic Bell and Saki on me and that surprises you?"
"True," Crimson admitted, "I am evil..."
"Well that was you, though, Rai."
Belladonna walked through the door and immediately cringed. Crimson looked at her. "Begging for your life won't help this time, young Skywalker."
Shaine took another sip of her beer. "Yer Hutt chow now, kiddo."
"No, guys. This is bad, and for once I had nothing to do with it..."
"Worse than Hutt chow?" Rai asked. "What can be worse than breakfast for a fifty-ton slug?"
"What's wrong, Bell?"
"That stunt you guys pulled...well...someone got you on film. And they got a good shot!" She held out a black and white shot of a somewhat burled Raven hardsuit. Around it were slight white lines.
Crimson frowned and took it. "They plan on posting this Net-wide, tomorrow."
"Not if I crash their server first," Shaine said grimly.
"Not sure if you can...Poe's dad bought him all the stuff, it's in his house... I get grounded, he gets his own domain name...it's not fair..."
"You think I can't fry that puppy?"
"It doesn't matter," Crimson said. "You're frying it anyway, one way or another. What kind of camera was this taken on? What model?"
"I don't know. Some kind of old 35mm deal; Poe was complaining about how expensive the film was. You guys did your mojo, and he was like spaced... When we got back to the house he pulled the film and like ninety-nine percent was nothing, snow, static, whatever...but this black and white thing, well, they made prints of it...as many as they could... And Deis, Omar, and Poe all have computer access right at home. I told them Mom would blow one up for a poster for me, so they gave me copies of the prints."
"But they want their own posters," Crimson guessed.
Bell winced. "Kind of..."
"Kind of?"
"They want her to authenticate it for them, to prove the film wasn't tampered with...and they want Val and you to see it," she said, pointing to Shaine.
Shaine's face fell. Val...oh shit...
"Yeah, not pretty, seeing as from what I know Val might hurt them..."
"Hurt them? ...No. Hurt their site...?" She shook her head. "I'm surprised it's not down already."
"Great...there goes all my hard work..."
"Yeah, well, bite me." I'm not going to be Val's choke chain. Sorry, no.
"They're pretty good--"
"Easy, now. No infighting." Rai said.
"I...don't think I exactly want to see Val either."
Belladonna laughed. "Not after what happened to him..."
"Find out what type of camera," Crimson said. "What film it uses. Shaine, crash their site, if not the actual server. Black out the city if you have to--"
"Not gonna take that much. But how much collateral damage I do depends on how random you want it to look."
"Very random. I don't want Genom or anyone else thinking we had a hand in this... Whatever it takes."
Shaine nodded. "Belladonna, I'll need to use your e-mail account."
"MINE?!"
"I've got a nice little worm I've been saving for a time like this, and it has to come from someone they trust."
"MINE!!!"
"Oh, don't worry...I'll disinfect it once I'm done. But it has to look like a genuine virus attack."
"Bell, do it."
"Hey, I could just have cracked in and done it without asking..."
"Oh, man...they're going to blacklist me like forever..." She whimpered. "Here. I'll write it down for you."
Shaine waited until she was done, then took the paper. "All right. Here's what I need done."
"Be gentle..."
"To mask the attack on these kids I'll have to trash some other people's shit. The virus I have will select targets from victim systems and send me enough information to get in with minimal hassle."
"Oh, I've got a few you can trash..."
Shaine glared at her, then continued. "I can get some old friends to take care of a few but the more hackers we have taking down these chosen systems, the better."
"Hey, save me the trouble..." Belladonna already had her address book out.
"Bell," Crimson warned.
Shaine shook her head. "If we had time I'd just put out a call but for now..."
"How many do you need? And do you have to have worked with them in the past?"
"No, anyone you trust. And as many as you can get right now."
"A short list, but I think I can get ahold of them." He pulled out his cell phone.
"I have eight very powerful ones in mind..." If they ever forgive me for getting them involved in this with no explanation, "But I'd have to call them from off-base."
"Call me when you have it worked out, and I'll have my people call you. Just be careful."
"Sure. Oh, and Crim...?" Damn, I swore I would never do this... "Tell them it's Whitewave who's asking.
"Be seeing you..."
///
It was going on into evening, but The Almighty Bean wasn't too full yet. Shaine paid for an hour's time on one of the computers, selecting one which was near the center of the room. The distance between tables was enough to keep any casual observer from reading the screen, as many nervous would-be hackers forgot, and she didn't want to call attention to herself by huddling in the corner.
She logged on, taking all of the usual precautions to cover her tracks and masking her IP number. Once that was done, she connected to the Star Trek: Mariner RPG and logged in as Teslin n'Katia Nora.
"Walking" through the glass city of Theln to Alhadai, she entered training room #9 and paged Vaiyeh Kessel. The other player was online, luckily, and walked into the room through a hidden door.
Shaine disconnected then and accessed Bell's e-mail account. It was very organized, with folders clearly labeled, but she didn't pay any attention to that. Loading the virus attachment, she sent a message to Poe and the others, plus a few other random addresses - webmasters of local business sites, some other accounts that were visible to the public. Closing everything, she logged back into Mariner and played for a while, shopping for weapons in Theln, for half an hour.
The cafe was starting to get crowded. She opened one of her own e-mail accounts and forwarded the stolen passwords to her account at the base, "Vaiyeh", and Crimson. Then she returned to the base and sifted through the list for Poe's computer. Matching it to the IP Bell had given her, she connected.
"Tangue going to get you"? What kind of password is that?
She loaded a crawler which would systematically destroy all graphics files, graphics drivers, scanner drivers, and digital camera drivers. Letting it loose, she could tell that someone else was already tampering with the machine. Poorly.
"Blehhh," she stated. "Ratboy, I do believe I'm going to kill you."
She pulled out her cell phone and called Crimson. "Boss, I've got a little problem."
"Status report."
"Specifically...a rat-sized problem."
"How much of a danger is he to himself at this time?"
"Depends. How good are these kids?"
"On par, if not better than him. They could learn a lot from you, though."
"Damn. He's trying to do the same thing I am. But it looks like he went at it head-on...been slamming their system for hours now."
"Can you stop him?"
"He's already in. I'm trying to knock him loose right now, but if I have to I'll just crash it."
"Crash it. It'll be safe that way."
"Or I could just fry the USB ports and ISDN as I was planning. That way there's still something left for me to look at."
"Do it."
"...Okay, I've lost the connection. She's dead in the water." Shaine could almost hear Valentine yell oh, fuck!
"Would he try to hit Poe's house in person?"
"Poe would call tech service right away. Feel up to a house call?"
"Sure."
"Would Val have any weapons on him?"
"I doubt it. Even if he did, he's got lousy aim!"
"Humor me...please tell me he can shoot himself..."
"I wish. Even my invalid father could've done better." And did...remember that time he put a bullet right past Val's ear? Heh.
"Well, take Sprocket for backup anyway. Hangar in ten."
Ten minutes later, Crimson and Shaine stood beside a plain white van in the hangar."
"Sprocket will ride with you. I'm going to follow from behind; I want to minimize the number of times these kids see us together."
"Right."
The van looked like a Radio Shack on wheels, and Sprocket was leaning against one side reading a magazine.
"Hey, kid...when we get in there, just do me one favor. Try to stay away from the annoying blond one."
"For you, anything! But, and I do mean this, if he's the one Bell's talking about...if he lays a hand on me I want to shoot him myself!"
"No. That's my job."
"All right," she said, and climbed into the van.
The drive to Poe's house was short and quiet. As they pulled up, they could see Poe on the front porch staring up at the stars.
"My big sister hangs out with him?"
Shaine didn't answer. Instead, she grabbed her repair kit and got out. "Raven technical support, may I help you?"
Poe looked up. For a second it seemed he wanted to say something, then he stopped himself. "Thank you, fair ladies, you have come to save the day!"
Shaine smiled nervously.
"This way..."
The house looked all too normal until they got down to the basement, at which point it swiftly went from Ozzie and Harriet to Adams Family. The walls were black, with electric candles hanging from them in sconces. "I'm not sure what went wrong; I believe I've angered the sprits."
"Hm." Shaine popped the hood, then recoiled strongly at the strong smell of smoke. "Well, your 'sprits' sure love fire, that's for sure."
"Mav would know."
She started the computer, carefully noting all of the error messages. Yup, done smoked this one good. "Oh?"
"Spirits are hers to command; I am only her humble servant."
"I...see. ...Wellllll...your 'sprits' blew out both USB ports and your ISDN connection. Have you noticed any corrupted files?"
"Ah, I see. How long until you can make right what once went wrong?"
"That depends on you, man. This isn't covered by warranty, and it'll take a few Benjamins to get the replacement parts...I'd just buy a whole new machine if I were you."
"Yes, well...I have connections to this one."
"Yeah, I hear you. But its time has come, man. It's gone to the Summerlands. Or the Otherworld, if you prefer..."
"It's done well by me before. How much will I need, in coin of the realm?"
I dunno. I don't handle retail stuff, just warranty."
"Could you get it working tonight?"
Shaine bowed her head and touched her pendant. She's dead, Jim... "It seems to be somewhat working now. It's just you can't use the Internet...or anything you had plugged in through the USB."
"May I see it?"
"Hm?"
"Your necklace."
"Oh..." She stood and gently held up the silver pentacle; it had a good-sized moonstone in the center - only pentagon-shaped one she'd even seen. Yet another gift from Erik.
Poe leaned in close but did not touch it. "It's very nice..."
"Thank you."
"...Yes, so I will be without the 'Goth Babe of the Week' for a few days," he sighed.
"Yeah, guess so."
"It is a shame..."
"Have you checked your personal files yet?"
"Yes, they are also gone..."
"How recent is your last known clean backup?"
"I...a month, more or less."
She shook her head. "That's not good."
"Until now, it was not needed. Ah, the folly of it all!"
Shaine's eyes wandered again, and she saw a stack of Raven photos. She twitched, but didn't do anything else.
"Well...I thank you for coming so soon, but if you'll excuse me I have another matter to attend to."
"Of course."
He walked her back upstairs, where she found Val stuffing something into his jacket.
"Val?"
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Dumpfbacke!"
"Fich dich!" he retorted.
"She has given last rights to yonder computer," Poe offered finally.
"You're not helping any, rindvieh," Shaine snapped. Poe quickly shut up. "...Not you! This one...when you open the dictionary to 'stockdumm,' it's his picture you see..."
"And what may I ask are you doing here?"
"I came to get my money, asshole!"
"Money?"
"Yeah!"
"What money?"
"You said you would pay for that story--"
"No, that would be the leader. I only draw, not pay."
"Just let it go," Shaine said.
"Like hell let it go! And I suppose you're on his side too?" Poe grinned.
"You have to learn for once...when to back away. Or you are going to keep getting burned like this."
Val spoke in flawed German: "Aw, hell, Shaine, just come back...I miss you...I miss hearing you sing..."
Shaine looked almost hurt. "I'll come see you later tonight, if I can. No promises." Both Sprocket and Poe stood there, not knowing what either was saying.
Val switched back to English. "Well, then...I guess I don't have any reason to be standing around here with these loser friends of yours..."
"No, you don't."
Just then he noticed Sprocket. "Hey, cutie!" She rolled her eyes and ignored him.
"One last thing, kind rogue...what did you happen to take from my humble abode?"
"Take? What you talking about?" He turned back to Sproket. "So where were you hiding all this time?"
"It seems I am mistaken, sir."
"Yes, I'm sure you are." He smiled confidently and walked out.
"May Gaia have mercy on your soul," Poe said after him, "For I cannot..."
"I don't think ones like him come equipped with souls," Shaine said.
"No, you would be right about that."
"Well, I'd better be going too."
"I'll see you later."
"Shade and sweet water, Poe."
"Dark tidings to you ladies!"
///
"Ramen." Shaine wrinkled up her nose. "The only thing you have to eat in the house...and it had to be that? That is so...college dormitory."
"Some of us managed to get by without a high-priced education," Val retorted.
"Yeah. And some of us managed to flunk out of an actual university. ...And what was your major again? General studies?"
Valentine finished digging through the fridge and surfaced with a pack of Jell-o cups. "Now that hurt."
Shaine shrugged. "Your life, oh Man from Mars; I'm just telling you what I see."
"You know...I saw what you did to that kid's system. Not too cuspy compared to your usual...but I was kind of flattered that you did it for me..."
Shaine opened her mouth, then shut it quickly. This is not the time to deflate his ego... "So can I crash here for a while? I mean, part of the time. I still don't really have a place of my own...I've been staying with a friend from work."
"A male friend?"
"No. Her name's Gabriella." Well, true. I've been staying with Jinks...and Bell, but maybe I'd better not bring her up.
"Wellllll..." Val's face lit up. "There's a vacancy on the couch, and I come with it."
"Don't press your luck."