TITLE: A Lesson for All
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Skye Branovich is a character from Rich Koslowski's Geeksville Comics.
All others are characters of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter books.
"Goodnight" – lyrics written by John Lennon.
INTRO
"Everyone, I want your attention! There are sign up sheets outside the classroom for Professor Dumbledore and myself to conduct potion experiments on those wishing to volunteer. Don't even think of signing up anyone other than yourself up, we have spells to watch out for that", Professor Snape said, black eyes narrowing. "Most of you will not be chosen, most of those who ARE chosen who signed will never know they are being tested. These are minor experiments using weak potions and we need to test you unknowingly but we do need your permission. Files will be checked to also verify your parent's permission; sign up ends Friday".
For a change, Snape was actually against the experimentation as was Dumbledore. But, the Death Eaters were trying to create an army of children loyal to their cause using mind-altering drugs. Drugs unaffected by magic. Drugs that would enable the children to quickly learn the art of mind transference via astral projection without the rigorous years of training. The Death Eaters planned to kidnap Muggle children for testing and to dispose of them when they were done. They wanted Snape to do this away from Hogwarts and Dumbledore's prying nose. The Potions Master managed to convince them that Muggle children were too weak and fragile for this type of testing; only a true witch or wizard child would do.
After many loud and angry meetings it was decided by the Headmaster to concur to the Ministry of Magic to see if this might be possible although on a weak level.
Snape was not surprised to see Draco Malfoy first on the list, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle right after his name. What did surprise him was that Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were also on the list, as were Neville Longbottom and a new student, Skye Branovich. A quick wave of his wand revealed that all names were genuine signatures of their respective owners.
Snape dreaded the next phase of the trials. So no student would figure out which one was the true test subject, he decided to hold "tea sessions" with each student individually. Each was warned to remain silent on what happened in Snape's private room. A simple spell cast upon them as they entered the room assured their complete silence. He took notes on each child's reaction although one copy would be his true journal and the other an edited copy when the Death Eaters requested one. Since Snape also didn't know how each student would
react if they drank the potion, he made it clear that each would stay all day Saturday and Sunday so he could analyze their reactions. 48 hours with each student. 48 hours with Harry. With Gregory Goyle. With Neville.
SKYE
His first session started with Skye Branovich. She came into his living quarters dressed in a tie-dye gown and straw sandals on her feet. Each toenail was painted a different color; Snape felt drained from the explosion of color before him. It represented too much life, too much for him to handle at one time. He preferred his basic black look.
Skye gazed wide-eyes at all the bottles and tubes of portion ingredients around her. "Wow, you must feel like a kid in a candy store" she pondered to Severus. "All the wonderful potions you can make right here in your own room! It's fantastic".
Snape didn't know what to make of this whirlwind rainbow gliding about his room, looking at all his…things. Eyeballs swimming in gray-green jelly fascinated her, as did the vials of tarantula blood. "Whoa!" Skye exhaled and stopped in front of a huge jar labeled graveyard dirt. "Your own personal stash?" she asked and smiled knowingly.
"Yes", hissed Snape. "I dug it up myself with my own two hands last month when the moon was full", he growled at her.
"Cool, Professor. Maybe you'll let me know the next time you go; I'd love to come along and get some for myself. I hear it adds a real punch to Bloody Mary drinks" and she winked at him. Skye whirled around in her chair to view all the bottles again. "It must be wonderful to be you, knowing all you know about potions".
He stopped preparing her potion momentarily and looked at her gazing upon his life in bottles. He was about to dismiss her when it suddenly struck him that Skye was not kidding. She really was fascinated with his work, with potions in general.
"I'm sorry Skye, I never realized you liked Potions that much. You do well in class but this excitement extends deeper"?
Skye looked at his desk before continuing. "No offence sir, but some day I want your job. If not here at Hogwarts, then Potions Master at Greystone or Anacore. I'm especially interested in the more medicinal uses of potions. Again, I mean no disrespect sir, you are the best. When I am your age, I want to be better. Just as long as I don't have to wear solid black", and the mischievous sparkle returned to her eyes.
Severus gave her a sweet yellow-green boundberry potion that unfortunately made her horribly ill. He spent the best part of Saturday wiping her face with a cool damp cloth after each visit to the toilet to vomit. Spent a few minutes after each episode trying to keep himself from vomiting. After 6 hours of listening to her moan and beg for mercy he helped her sip the formula that would settle her stomach pains and let her sleep. "Thank the Lord for house elves", he silent thought as he looked at the hamper overflowing with dirty linens and towels he used to clean Skye with. She was little help for his study, as she could not even respond to any questions he asked; there was no way this potion was the answer for an army of children.
VINCENT
His heart was not into this, although making Crabbe drink beet root mixed with a drop of kannada blood every 2 hours for half the day cheered him up a little. It was difficult to talk with Vincent. Snape could not decide if Crabbe was as stupid as he often looked or was perhaps a bit shy without the protection of Draco and Gregory. Severus decided to ask Crabbe why he constantly hung out all the time with those two.
"I don't know what else to do with myself sir. Few kids liked me at the grade school I used to go to. Since they would have nothing to do with me when I was nice, I found I could have power over them if I was mean. And being mean managed to make me a few friends I could hang around with and then I wasn't alone". Vincent looked out the window, troubled, but unable to say more.
Snape knew all too well what he was talking about. It was the same when he was with the Death Eaters. "Can't let him know I'm a Death Eater but I have to say something to the poor kid", thought Snape.
"Listen Vince - can I call you Vince? Or do you prefer Vincent"?
Vincent's face suddenly lit up.
"Vince! I like Vince!" and he beamed.
"Okay, Vince. When I was your age I too ran with a crowd who liked me because of things I could do. They expected me to be mean and would accept me no other way. Granted, it took me years to come to terms with this but I realized that I was unhappier with them than without them. Everything I did was judged. I was no longer free to be who I truly was or to do whatever I wanted to do".
Vince became very animated and sat on the edge of his seat. "Yeah! Yeah, it's like me and the guys. I'm always worried about doing or saying the wrong thing. I'm constantly worried about whey they think of me and I can't even think for myself anymore".
Vince sat in stunned silence after this revelation. "but…..I still do like Draco and Gregory. I don't like how Draco runs the whole show all the time and is quite mean but, I do really like them, most of the time".
"Perhaps you don't need to constantly be with them all the time", Snape suggested. "You're not attached to each other at the hip. The hardest part will be having to make a decision if they don't accept you as you are. Are you willing to give them up? Or will you give yourself up? You may want to consider what a Muggle once wrote: To thine own self be true".
Both Snape and Vince sat back exhausted yet deep in thought. Snape suddenly remembered something in his desk and pulled out a box of chocolate frogs. Taking one for himself, he shoved the box towards Vince. "Have one. I think we've both earned it".
NEVILLE
Neville Longbottom got the best of the deal. As per Dumbledore's suggestion, Snape gave Neville chocolate frogs and mint tea laced with a mild sedative. They played checkers, tic-tac-toe and card games for a couple of hours. Neville was mostly silent; on occasion a smile and once laughter passed his lips while playing the games. Severus was actually able to enjoy some of the games; he once got so caught up in the fun that he wondered if he accidentally drunk some of Neville's potion.
Snape then tried to make small talk. "Neville, I must admit, I was rather surprised to see your name on the sign-up sheet".
Neville took a deep breath and looked towards the Professor. "I've been having many of my own 'tea' sessions with Professor Dumbledore the past few months. He got me to see that I have to face my fears head-on and…" here Neville's resolve faded for a moment.
Regaining his composure he looked Snape right in the eyes. "Right now, you are my greatest fear". Neville held his gaze at the fearsome Potions Master for a while longer, then he shifted and stared out the window.
* * *
"I miss my parents".
"Wha??" Professor Snape was snapped back to reality – Neville had been quiet for so long, the only signs of life coming from him were deep sighs now and then.
"My parents. I miss them", Neville murmured quietly. "My GrandMother takes good care of me and loves me but…I want my parents back. I want them to be normal. I want them to remember that they have a son. I want them to know that I love them".
Severus too brutally knew the feeling. "I want my Mommy", and he wanted his mommy to love him. To accept him, faults and all. Dammit, he was almost middle-aged and he still wanted her love and acceptance. For a parent to love her child simply because he is her child…is that too much to ask? He wished he had someone to gently guide him through childhood. Severus missed his parents too – the loving parents he never had.
"I study real hard Professor Snape. I try not to mess up. But I'm so afraid that I end up doing the very thing I don't want to do. I don't mean to melt my cauldrons, I don't mean to mess up my potions. I think I know what I'm doing but then…I see you and I get so scared".
Neville continued, "I keep researching books in the library, studying the curses used on my parents. I'm hoping one day to find a cure through potions to bring their minds back again. Or, at least, restore some normalcy back to them".
Snape inwardly gasped for air. "Severus you fool", his inner voice scolded. "All the boy wants is to cure his parents. His one hope lies perhaps in the very subject you've scared him away from. I hope you feel like a jackass".
"I do", sighed Snape.
Severus gave Neville another cup of sedative-laced tea and cleared his throat. "I knew your father very little, but he had a fine reputation in the wizarding community. He was well respected and liked by many people". Snape noticed Neville's eyes glaze over and knew Neville had heard this many times before; it wasn't just a reaction to the sedative. "Your father also could mix the most kick-ass Bloody Mary drink for miles around", and he smiled at Neville. Neville perked up upon hearing this tidbit of information.
Then, with tenderness he didn't know he had, Severus told Neville, "You will be a great man when you are older, you're a fine young boy already. You have an inner strength rarely found in people. Don't ever doubt yourself and don't let anyone ever take your strength away, no matter what".
"Tell you what. Let's go over some potion reviewing sessions once a week and at the end of the school year, if you can successfully pass three tests I give you, I'll tell you your father's Bloody Mary secret ingredient". And Neville gave Professor Severus Snape his first real smile to signal his agreement.
* * *
HERMIONE
Two more weeks passed before Professor Snape met with Hermione. He gave her redneval, which relaxed her muscles yet kept her mind sharp. Asking her to do physical acts was impossible yet her mind gave answers to mathematical and scientific questions Hermione didn't even know she knew. Nothing out of the ordinary, but she was clearly years ahead in her studies than the other students. Snape actually enjoyed picking her brain, examining how much knowledge was actually in there. She spoke quickly for quite some time – as long as Snape's questions kept to 'book knowledge'.
He also asked her to talk about what life was like inside a Muggle household and found it wasn't as disgusting as he thought it would be. Hermione actually enjoyed talking about Muggle life until he asked her what she did for fun...fun out of the library. Hermione became very quiet. So quiet for so long that Severus began reaching out to touch her where she laid on the cot. But before he could reach her, Hermione whispered "Nothing. My whole life has been books".
"I have a very good life with my parents. They are the best parents a kid could hope for, always there for me, supporting me. But, even before I found out about being qualified for Hogwarts, I always felt different. The kids at the school I used to go to were friendly enough, I guess, but until I came here I never made a true friend".
Hermione continues, "I've never fit in anywhere so I took refuge in books. Especially being a "mudblood". She choked back a sob. Severus winced, recalling he sometimes thought of her as such when he first met her.
"I always felt I had to work harder than others just to be their equal, to fit in. Everyone thinks learning and writing comes so easily to me but all I've ever wanted to do was feel normal. That has never been easy for me".
Severus knew exactly how she must feel. True, he loved potions, always has. Mixing potions in his mother's kitchen resulted in more than his fair share of 'Neville-like' melting the cauldron moments. To be followed by his mother screaming at him, calling him stupid, a worthless no-talent. His father just glaring at him, his eyes full of evilness and hate towards his son.
To combat his feelings of inadequacy, Severus became a bookworm – and suffered the onslaught of abuse from the children in his school and neighborhood. "Slithering Severus Snape" they called him. So he fell deeper and deeper into his books and his potions until he could her the children and his parents no longer.
Severus snapped out of his reverie when Hermione sobbed loudly. The redneval potion still left her too weak to raise her arms to wipe the tears from her face. Grabbing some tissues, he dabbed at her face, blotted her eyes and then, taking a deep breath himself, held a few tissues over her nose. "Blow", he commanded.
"There is nothing wrong with library books", Snape informed her. "I often go there myself to check out rare and unusual potion information. I read up on the history of Severus Septimus who I find quite interesting. However, I have been known to, on occasion, pick up and", here he hesitated a moment. "and read a Muggle fiction novel cover to cover. I've even read books outdoors. In the fresh air. If Albus or perhaps Minerva come along and suggest some other activity, I would bookmark my page and go off with my friend. We never know, Hermione, how much time we'll ever have with out friends – and books will always patiently wait for us to return to them when we have shared some of life with friends and return to reading again".
Hermione's mouth was hanging open as he finished his confession. Severus hoped it was because of the potion and not at her disbelief that this feared Professor read Muggle novels. As he reached over to close her mouth, he gently scolded "you need to get out more. Enjoy your friends more. Read a good fiction book under a tree for a change. And be willing to put the book down once in awhile or a good part of life will pass you by".
* * *
Harry and Ron were both injured during Quidditch practice, Harry when he was accidentally knocked off his broom and Ron when Harry fell on him. This moved Draco Malfoy to the top of the list. Severus carefully prepared the hallucinogenic he decided to use on Draco, the true test subject.
* * *
DRACO
Draco Malfoy arrived at 9AM sharp, obviously excited about his role in helping Professor Snape. He had always looked to Snape for approval, sometimes, it seemed more important to win his Professor's approval than his own Father's. They chatted about the latest Quidditch match as Snape watched Draco drink the chemical laden tea. Within 30 minutes the drugs took effect as Draco began to smile insipidly at everything around him. "Finish your tea", a nervous Snape lightly growled at Draco. Severus didn't know if he was more nervous about the results or Draco messing up the experiment by not drinking the entire potion. "I love you, Professor", Malfoy drunkenly grinned.
"Oh boy. This was NOT what I had expected", Snape thought. Draco was languidly wandering about Snape's room, gently touching all Severus' things, remarking how lovely everything was and how much he loved everything. Severus asked Draco to lie down on the sofa and listen to what the Professor had to say. Unfortunately, Draco's mind was out of reach and he went about the room "loving" everything.
After 3 hours Professor Snape tried another goblet of potion. He managed to get Draco's attention long enough to drink the entire chalice within 15 minutes. Snape tried to talk Draco into a hypnotic trance to see how deep the potion worked but Draco just kept humming a silly tune and smiling like a jerk.
Two hours later, Draco went from loving everything and thinking the whole universe was exquisite to being scared witless about the whole shebang. His breathing turned rapid then jagged, eyes kept darting about the shadows in the room. He began thrashing about in a blind panic until Severus managed to pin his arms and legs down by practically sitting on him.
"Don't let him hurt me!" Draco shrieked. "I'll be good Mommy, please, make Daddy stop".
"Shhhhh, Draco; it's okay. I'm Professor Snape, we're in my room at Hogwarts, and no one is going to hurt you. I'm going to take care of you". Severus hugged the frightened child until Draco relaxed and sobbed into the Professor's robes. They sat there, child and adult, rocking gently together when Severus suddenly began singing a Muggle song he had learned long ago:
"Now it's time to say good night
Good night Sleep tight
Now the sun turns out his light
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Good night Sleep tight
Now the moon begins to shine
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Good night Sleep tight
Now the sun turns out his light
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
Good night Good night Everybody
Everybody everywhere
Good night."
He sang the lullaby until the boy in his arms was drained of all his tears. Severus cursed his own parents for not comforting him as a child; for not holding him and telling him they loved him when he needed sympathy and encouragement. All he heard as a child was how ugly and worthless he was, how they wished he had never been born. Severus cursed Draco Malfoy's parents for not letting their child ever truly be a child.
Severus' body ached as he stood up with the boy in his arms and placed Draco into bed. He washed the young boy's face with a cool, damp cloth then lit red candles about the room. Snape placed a chunk of carnelian stone in Draco's hands and told him to listen very carefully.
"Draco Malfoy – listen to me. Hear every word I say and remember them always. You are a worthwhile human being. You are more than the sum of your parents. You can do wondrous things in this world Draco if you can only learn to think for yourself. Do not do what you think your parents want you to do. Do not do what you think Goyle and Crabbe want you to do. Do not even do what you think I want you to do. Think for yourself. Open your eyes and ears to all that is going on about you. Think before you act. Do not act vile and spiteful because that was how you were raised to act and think. Do not automatically act vicious because you believe that is how others expect you to act".
"Look deeper inside yourself; look deeper at each situation as it occurs. You have the strength to become a far greater person than you have ever imagined; do not let yourself end up like me. Do not become a slave doing the bidding of others. Inside you is the potential to become a great leader but only you can choose whether you lead through fear or through respect".
"Do not take pleasure in the misfortunes of others, instead, use whatever powers you can to help them. Learn to laugh out loud from your soul, the crystal clear laugh of sheer enjoyment; not the black tarred laugh of hatred. Enjoy your friends for the pleasure they bring and not for what they can do for you only. Enjoy your life. Enjoy yourself".
Severus kept talking long into the night, never taking his hand from Draco's. He silently wept for his own lost childhood, blinking back the tears as he wished someone had been there years ago to save his soul before hopelessness forced him to join with the Death Eaters.
* * *
SEVERUS
Severus cancelled the remainder of the sessions. He wrote a report stating the futility of the experiment; that the drug was uncontrollable for the task at hand. He also told Dumbledore he'd rather die than put the children through that again. "I knew you'd never really hurt any of the children", Albus gently chided Severus.
"Nothing was gained", growled Severus. "A total waste of time".
"I wouldn't be too certain of that Severus" Dumbledore motioned the Potions Master over to the window of his study. "Look down by the lake, what do you see"?
Vince and Hermione were having a stone skipping contest, although Vince seemed more intent on winning. Hermione was just enjoying herself. And Draco and Gregory were no where to be found.
"I've seen Skye taking more interest in potion cures since your session. She has been working with Madame Pomfrey in the hospital on weekends and not once have I heard you complain that Neville has melted yet another cauldron."
Severus had to admit this was true. Neville had not only not melted anything; he was no longer acting afraid of the stern Potions Master. He actually relaxed and was able to learn his lessons in Potions class.
"Our last Quidditch game, Draco Malfoy actually cheered good plays for both teams" Albus informed Snape. "Of course, he was still delighted that Slytherin won but he's becoming a more agreeable person all around. And these children all had one thing in common", the Headmaster continued. "They had one person who took the time to listen to them. I daresay, you might have the makings of a good guidance counselor or mentor in your blood!". Severus gave Albus a sidelong glance but said nothing. "I'm serious Severus, think about it. You might be of some help to a few of our more troubled students. Look deep down and I think you'll find that this experiment wasn't a waste of time at all." With that Dumbledore left Severus to his own thoughts.
"I wonder who was the true guinea pig in this experiment after all", mused Snape. "Me or the students"?
* * *
Gregory, Harry, and Ron were all surprised a week later when owls delivered a letter to each one, stating that they were still required to attend their weekend session with Professor Snape. "While the experiments have ceased, your presence is still essential for my paperwork to be completed. Please accept my apologies for this delay and re-schedule with me as soon as possible".
The boys' blood ran cold as they finished their letters. Gregory simply sat, wide-eyed. "Oh no", moaned Ron. "We're doomed", chimed in Harry. They both screamed out at the same time, "He said PLEASE"!!