Act 2: Everybody talks and sings.
~~~~~
A2Sc1
~~~~~
Sebastian: I'm leaving.
Antionio: Why?
Sebastian: I'm depressed.
Antonio: Where are you going?
Sebastian: I don't know. Remember when you saved me from drowning after the shipwreck?
Antonio: Yeah?
Sebastian: My twin sister was on the boat too. I am such a male chauvinist that I don't think there's any possibility that she was able to save herself. I'm not even going to hope.
Antonio: That's a sad story.
Sebastian: I miss my sister. She was pretty.
Antonio: Let me be your servant.
Sebastian: Kill me.
Antonio: No.
Sebastian: Then no. Goodbye. I'm going to Orsino's. ::leaves::
Antonio: If I follow you then Orsino will throw me in jail. Then again, who cares? ::follows Sebastian::
~~~~~
A2Sc2
~~~~~
Malvolio: Hey you!
Viola: Me?
Malvolio: Yeah, you. Here's a ring from Olivia. ::leaves::
Viola: Why would Olivia give me a ring? I know! She loves me! Man, am I smart.
~~~~~
A2Sc3
~~~~~
Toby: I'm drunk.
Andrew: Me too. Here comes Feste.
::enter Feste::
Feste: You guys are drunk. I'm going to make fun of everybody.
Toby and Andrew: Sing for us.
Feste: Okay. ::sings a love song::
Toby: Who wants to make lots of noise even though it's in the middle of the night?
Feste and Andrew: We do! ::make lots of noise::
::enter Maria::
Maria: SHUT UP!
Feste and Andrew: Okay.
Toby: No! I live here, I'm going to make as much noise as I want! ::makes lots of noise::
::enter Malvolio::
Malvolio: SHUT UP!
Toby: No.
Malvolio: If you don't shut up, Olivia will throw you out.
Toby: Like I'm scared of her. I'll prove just how non-afraid I am by singing with Feste ::singing::
Malvolio: I'm leaving. ::exit Malvolio and Feste::
Andrew: I hate him.
Toby: Me too.
Maria: I have a plan to make a fool of him.
Toby and Andrew: Tell us.
Maria: I'll drop a love letter and Malvolio will think that it's from Olivia to him.
Toby and Andrew : Good plan.
Maria: Good. I'm going to bed. ::leaves::
Toby: Lets go find a party and drink somemore.
Andrew: Cool.
~~~~~
A2Sc4
~~~~~
Orsino: I want to listen to Feste sing.
Curio: I'll go find him.
Orsino: Look at me Cesario. I'm in love with Olivia. Don't I look like a man in love?
Viola: Yes, lord.
Orsino: I think you look like you're in love. Are you?
Viola: Yes, lord.
Orsino: What's she like?
Viola: I'm in love with you but I'm too much of a wuss to tell you so I'll just keep saying that the person I love is very similar to you.
Orsino: You shouldn't love a woman who's so old and who looks like a guy. Men are the better lovers, therefore it is our duty to marry a young girl so that we can have her as many times as we want while she's still young and pretty. You don't want to marry a woman too old, or else you'll be stuck having to sleep with an old hag unless you're rich enough to take on a younger mistress.
Viola: I have so little self-esteem now that I'm going to agree with whatever you say.
::enter Feste::
Feste: You called?
Orsino: Play me a song.
Feste: Ooo! Can I play the new N*Sync one?
Orsino: No. I want to hear an old and plain song. The spinsters and the knitters in the sun, and the free maids that weave their thread with bones, did use to chant it.
Feste: Oh, alright. ::sings::
Orsino: Thank you. Leave.
Feste: Okay ::leaves::
Orsino: Go to Olivia and tell her I love her.
Viola: She doesn't love you. What if there was a woman who loves you as much as you love Olivia? Hypothetically, of course…it's just 'what if'…
Orsino: Women are weak. No woman could love as stong as I love.
Viola: I think you're a chauvinistic pig, and will now tell you a story about myself in the third person and trying to subltly tell you how much I love you, but you're to self-absorbed to realize it.
Orsino: I don't know why you're telling me this story. I love Olivia.
Viola: Fine, I'll tell her.
~~~~~
A2Sc5
~~~~~
Toby: Lets put Maria's plan into action.
Fabian: I'm in.
Andrew: Me too.
::enter Maria::
Maria: Here comes Malvolio. Let's hide and see how he reacts. ::they hide, enter Malvolio::
Malvolio: Oh, here's a letter. What? I'm assuming that Olivia loves me and by reading inbetween the lines, she's telling me to wear yellow socks and be cross-gartered. Yay! I'm going to go change my socks! ::leave::
Toby: That was fun.
Maria: Lets follow him.
Toby and Andrew: Okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've got to go to work. I'll add the rest later. Let me know if you like it.