Bob (the Pineapple): So anyways, it is time for you to join the cult of the Old Man Who Exists

Author's Note: I love everybody created by Tamora Pierce, but, like I say, I like making fun of everybody, and so... yea... I will be MERCILESS!!! MUAHAHAHAHA *chokes, but manages to recover* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA *chokes, but manages to recover* (repeat until you are insane, bored, or feel that reading the fanfic would be more interesting)

Bob (the Pineapple): So anyways, it is time for you to join the cult of the Old Man Who Exists.

Daine (wouldn't leave her out, either, would we?  *laughs evilly*): Why?

Bob: Because I say so!

Daine: Well, but... why?

Bob: You must join the Old Man Who Exists (A/N: from now on, will be called OM; author is tired of typing Old Man Who Exists) and his 107 followers!!!!!!!  *Insane scientist laugh*

Numair: W-H-Y?  WHY?

Bob: Oh, good.  You can spell.  Want to have a spelling bee?

Everybody: SURE!

Bob: OK, I will be a team captain, and King Jon will be the other one.

Queen Thayet: Why Jon?

Bob: He's the king.  Now pick.

Thayet: So?

Bob: He's the king.  I don't like you.  Now pick, king!

King Jon: I pick Bob the Pineapple.

Bob:  YOU CAN'T, YOU GABLONKER!  (A/N: Gablonker means whatever you want it to mean, but in this case, it is... obviously insulting.  DUN DUN DUN)

King Jon: FINE THEN I DON'T WANNA PLAY!

Voice From Above (Author): IF YOU DON'T PLAY, I WILL MAKE YOU INTO NUMAIR'S TWIN!

King Jon: *whimpers* I'll play, I'll play.

Numair:  That wasn't very nice.

Author: I don't have to be nice.  In fact, if I am NOT nice, you all listen to me better and do exactly what I want to you do, because I can do whatever I want to you.  In fact, if you don't shut up, Numair, I'll make you fall in love with Daine!!!

Numair:  I DON'T WANNA SHUT UP!

*~Author sighs and makes Numair fall in love with Daine, which he doesn't like, but eventually does like, and is why Numair is in love with Daine.  Yes, Author is crazy~*

Bob:  I pick Pip the Grape - er – Raisin.

Pip the Raisin (Is now Pip; author does not like typing all these names.  As a result, you will have to remember the names of every fruit mentioned): *pouts* I don't wanna be on your team.

Bob: Too bad.

*~Pip the Raisin joins Bob's team~*

King Jon (Will now be KJ; author is getting old, fat, and lazy and must cut down on exercise like typing out full names): I pick my darling, loving, beautiful, delightful, affectionate, devoting, beloved, endearing, charming, charismatic, enchanting, sweet, kind, precious, gorgeous, perfect, ideal, flawless, joyful, marvelous, fantastic, fascinating, comely, wondrous, wonderful, merciful, fond, sentimental, respectful, altruistic, queenly, gracious, desirous, captivating, fair, fine, graceful, winsome, dignified, stately, great, eminent, intelligent, wise, sagacious, attractive, brave, courageous, valorous, loyal, patient, dedicated, earnest, faithful, patriotic, steadfast, true, trustworthy, gentle, cool, mellow, pacific, enduring, forbearing, imperturbable, serene, affable, amiable, beneficent, benevolent, benign, caring, charitable, compassionate, considerate, cordial, good, humane, indulgent, kind-hearted, obliging, sympathetic, tender, thoughtful, awesome, apt, astute, bright, brilliant, capable, clever, discerning, exceptional, knowing, knowledgeable, keen, perceptive, quick, sensible, sharp, intellectual, reasonable, witty, adventurous, bold, daring, audacious, intrepid, fearless, determined, hardy, undaunted, valiant, venturesome, lustrous, radiant...

Author: WE GET THE POINT; NOW TELL US WHO IT IS!

*~King Jon glares at Author~*

Author: Glare at me like that again, and I will make you, Numair, and Daine have a threesome!

Daine: What did I do?

Author: You didn't do anything.

Daine: Then why am I getting punished?

Author: Because you're stupid and your chin trembles too much.

*~Daine's chin trembles.  Author sighs~*

KJ: *sigh* I pick Thayet.

Bob: Numair

KJ: Bob the Pineapple.

Author: YOU CAN'T GABLONKERING (A/N: See note about Gablonker ^ there somewhere) PICK BOB THE PINEAPPLE!!!

KJ: *pouts* Briana the Banana

Briana the Banana (Briana): Why do I have to be on the stupid team???

*~KJ is insulted, accuses Briana of high treason, and tries to turn her into Briana the Moldy Crust of Bread, but fails, because Author likes Briana the Banana and would never allow anything bad to happen to her~*

Author: So there!

*~KJ pouts.  Briana goes on his team, pouting~*

Bob: I choose Lindhall Reed.

Lindhall Reed: Who's Lindhall Reed.

Author: Gods bless America (despite the fact that America does not currently exist) YOU ARE A GABLONKER!

*~Lindhall Reed is offended and runs off crying~*

Bob: *sigh* I pick George the Grapefruit.

KJ: Alanna

Bob: Keladry of Mindelan

*~Author is tired of this and will tell you the teams: 

Bob the Pineapple's team: Pip the Raisin, Numair, Lindhall Reed, Kel, Cleon, Sir Raoul, Sissy the Starfruit, Faleron (Author likes him) and George the Grapefruit.

KJ's team: Thayet, Briana the Banana, Alanna, Neal, Daine, Joren, Paul the Peach, George (the thief) and Elaine the Apple ~*

*~*~The Spelling Bee~*~*

*~A large bee buzzes up and holds up a sign that says, "I AM THE SPELLING BEE.  NOBODY IS BETTER THAN ME! MUAHAHAHAHA!!" *

Author: Just kidding!  That's too old, anyways.

*~A large insane wild goat buzzes up to the 'screen' and holds up a sign that says, "I AM THE SPELLING BEE.  NOBODY IS BETTER THAN ME!  MUAHAHAHAHA!!"~*

Author: MUCH BETTER!  May the spelling bee begin!

*~Teams line up; goat fades out~*

Author: Can't have a goat here, can we... oh no, I just made Numair disappear!

Numair: That's not funny.

Author: Yes it is.  Now get to it.  I will give you words to spell; you will spell them.  If you spell it correctly, you get one point.  If you spell it INcorrectly, one point will be subtracted. OK?

Everybody (who's playing, duh!): OK!

Author: Pip: spell "bee"

Pip: B-e-e

Author: CORRECT! Plus one.

*~Magical chalk puts a tally mark on the board.  It will automatically keep score for us so that Author doesn't have to keep typing crap like this~*

Author: Thayet: spell "I"

Thayet: ummm... I

Author: CORRECT!  Plus one.  Numair: I think you're a snob so you get to spell "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (A/N: that is a real word meaning a lung disease caused by inhaling volcanic or coal dust or something of that nature)

Numair: P-n-e-u-m-o-n-o-u-l-t-r-a-m-i-c-r-o-s-c-o-p-i-c-s-i-l-i-c-o-v-o-l-c-a-n-o-c-o-n-i-o-s-i-s

*~Author faints~*

*~Author awakens~*

Author: You are supposed to be STUPID!  You are NOT supposed to be able to spell words like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*~Numair shrugs.  Author gets mad and turns him into a flat tire.  Joy fills the world~*

To be continued...

Author is now too lazy to do more spelling bee stuff.  This also has nothing to do with the 'plot'

Disclaimer: I do not own anybody here except for all of the fruit (ALL MINE!  YUM YUM!) and Author (aka ME! Duh!)  So if you sue me, I'll... I'll... I'll... uh... CRY!  If you sue me, I'll cry.  Then you'll feel guilty.  Then I'll be happy.  But anyways, please review.  I like comments and don't mind flames because I'm such a kind and wonderful person ^_^ Have a nice day!