Author's Note: You liked, the Spelling Bee, so here's more. But I gotta get on to the fake plot after a while, so... yea...
*~Author would like to remind you of the teams:
Bob (the Pineapple, will now be Bob the Eskimo Tap-Dancing Pineapple. Actually, will still be Bob, but just remember "Bob the Eskimo Tap-Dancing Pineapple, okey-day?): Pip the Raisin, Numair, Lindhall Reed, Kel, Cleon, Sir Raoul, Sissy the Starfruit, Faleron (Author likes him) and George the Grapefruit.
KJ (King Jon)'s team: Thayet, Briana the Banana, Alanna, Neal, Daine, Joren, Paul the Peach, George (the thief) and Elaine the Apple~*
*~Author would also like to remind you of the score:
Bob's team: 2
KJ's team: 1 ~*
Author: Briana the Banana: spell "supercalifragelisticexpialidocious" (A/N: spelling, someone? My computer doesn't recognize it as a word.) because I feel like typing a nice, long word.
*~Briana scowls and decides to pass~*
Author: OK, then... Lindhall Reed, spell "supercalifragelisticexpialidocious"
Lindhall Reed (Will now be LR): s-u-p-e-r-c-a-l-i-f-r-a-g-e-l-i-s-t-i-c-e-x-p-i-a-l-i-d-o-c-i-o-u-s
Author: Good job, retard!
*~LR beams happily before Author shoves him back into line~*
Author: OK, Alanna, spell your name.
Alanna: A-l-a-n-n-a
Author: WRONG! *~Alanna gasps in astonishment~* It is spelled y-o-u-r space n-a-m-e! HA! So you spelled it wrong.
*~Alanna goes back into her line~*
Author: OK, Kel, spell "weed-whacker"
Kel: w-e-e-d-w-h-a-c-k-e-r *~She then realizes that (insert dramatic music here) she doesn't know what the heck a weed-whacker is. Looking puzzled, she goes back into line~*
Author: All right... Neal, spell "idiot"
Neal: N-e-a-l
Author: *~claps~* GOOD JOB!!!
*~The entire room begins to applaud Neal on his wonderful effort and wondrous success~*
Author: All righty-o! Cleon, you big carrot-top!
Cleon: I don't get it. My hair's orange, not green like a carrot top!
Author: Big-headed red-head, please spell "fantasticalamis"
Cleon: I don't get it. That's not a word I know.
Author: Well, it's in MY dictionary, so it's a word.
Cleon: uhhh... f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c-a-l-a-m-i-s
Author: Oooo!! Minus half for the "uhhh..." Now, Daine, please spell, "dim-witted freak."
Daine: N-u-m-a-i-r
*~Author happily gives Daine 10 points~* (A/N: I like Numair... No, I love Numair, but it's just so much fun making fun of him!!!!!! I think I'm addicted. To Jelly Belly's!! JOY!!! Well, anyways...)
*~Author will remind you (the reader) of the current score:
Bob's team: 4 1/2
KJ's team: 12~*
*~Sir Raoul steps up to bat... no... I mean to spell! He towers 1,500 feet over everybody else. (Author is obviously exaggerating, because there is no way anybody could be 1,507 feet tall...) Anyways, everybody else looks like a short fat tree stump. Joy~*
Author: Sir Raoul, please spell pumpkin head.
Sir Raoul (Too many names!! Will now be SR!): (slowly... very, very sloooooowwwwwlyyyyyy) p-u-m-p-k-i-n space h-e-a-d.
Author: minus half for being slow, SR! Shame on you.
SR: (slowly... very, very slooooooowwwwwlyyyyyyyy): But that's not nice of you.
Author: Just shut up and get in line. I am the ELITE and SUPREME Author. I could turn you into a flying chair for all I care. Hey that rhymes! Wanna play a rhyme game?
Everybody: HELL NO!
Author: Geez, sorry! I just thought it might be fun!
Everybody: HELL NO!
Author: Fine. Joren of Stone Mountain, because I'm demented and think you're cool...
Joren: I AM cool. No, actually, I am cold. Can we turn on the heat?
Author: We're standing in the middle of a rainstorm. No wonder you're cold. Sure, let's turn up the heat. Wait a minute!!! What heat? Our last heater just got fried by our "genius" Numair. We can't very well start a fire in the rain, can we?
Numair: Yes we can
*~Numair starts a magical fire in the rain~*
Author: That's very nice, but it's not giving off any freakin' heat!!!
Numair: Oh, yes. Magical fires cannot give off heat because...
Author: SHUT UP! You're not helping. Joren, you're just going to have to deal until our personnel can get around to turning the heat on, which will be never because we don't have a personnel, and we don't even have a heater because they HAVEN'T BEEN FREAKIN' INVENTED YET!
Joren: Fine. *~Sticks tongue out at Author~*
Author: Don't you DARE do that again, or I will make it HAIL.
*~Joren whimpers~*
Author: Better. Now spell 'a'.
Joren: A.
Author: Good job. Now because I like you, you get 5 points for that.
Joren: Yay! *~dances around in joy~*
Author: All right, Sissy the Starfruit (A/N: Sissy) please spell why.
Sissy: W-h-y.
Author: WRONG! It is spelled 'y'. Oh, well. Now, Paul the Peach (A/N:Paul) please spell the word.
Paul: T-h-e space w-o-r-d.
Author: Nope! Sorry! The word is s-h-i… (A/N: JUST KIDDING! Wouldn't want to corrupt all the little kiddies, would we?) Actually, the word is g-l-u-e! Sorry, Paul. Can't give you that one. By the way, did you know that your initials are P.P? *~Laughs~*
Paul: BLEH!
Author: Go away, Paul, you dork –
*~Everybody gasps~*
Author: Aw, shut it. You're all big kids now and you can handle that word! Anyways, Faleron, whom I also like *~Bats eyelashes~* please spell "telephone"
Faleron: *~Smiles at Author~* t-e-l-e-p-h-o-n-e
Author: Good job! *~Gives him a hug~* 20 point bonus for the smile!
*~Everybody smiles at Author in an attempt to get bonuses~*
Author: NO! Only Faleron gets that kind of a bonus! Numair, stop smiling like that.
*~Everybody turns to look at the smiling Numair. He looks like a horse~*
Numair: What? I thought everybody loved my smile!
Daine: Yeah. Everybody LOVES LAUGHING at your smile.
*~Numair pouts. Faleron realizes that (Flying Dutchman music plays... one of the darker pieces... the overture, perhaps?) that he has no freakin' idea what a telephone is! Author resumes spelling bee~*
Author: George.
*~George steps up, juggling about 50 ears~* (A/N: Well, you know he has about 25 arms, right? Just kidding. I bet for this part, I'm gonna get SO many flames from George fans... Well, bring it on! I've wanted to light these candles for a while. See? *~Holds up some lavender-scented candles. Her house has no matches for her to play with, you see~*)
Author: George, put those ears away.
*~George obediently stuffs them in his pockets. Author is REALLY grossed out, despite the fact that she *can* make him do whatever she wants him to~*
Author: Yuck. George, spell ears.
George: e-r-s
Author: 5 point deduction because you can't spell to save your life.
*~George pouts and is about to argue with Author when...~*
Author: Well, I'm tired of indulging you in this spelling bee, so now we're gonna have to stop. Bob's team won. *~Smiles winningly at Faleron~* Now please continue with the plot.
Numair: There's a plot?
Author: Unfortunately, yes. Bob? Please start us off. Again.
Bob: What? Fine. You must join the ranks of the Old Man Who Exists and his 107 followers!
Numair: OH YEAH, HUH!!! Why?
Bob: Because you must!
Numair: W-h-y. Why?
Bob: Oh good! You can spell! Wanna have a spelling bee?
Everybody: OK!
(A/N: HAHAHAHA!!! FALSE ALARM! GOTCHA THERE, DIDN'T I????? I'M SUCH A FUNNY PERSON!!! J/k.)
Bob: No, really, because you must join the ranks of the Old Man Who Exists and his 107 followers in order to be on time when the Mother Ship from Affadanitica comes to take you away from this cruddy little hole!
KJ: Hey! Tortall is no cruddy little hole.
Bob: Of course it is! It has no gorgeous waterfalls of hydrochloric acid pouring over slabs of still-hot lava, does it?
KJ: Ummm... no...
Bob: And it has no lovely man-eating ladybugs, does it? (A/N: A look into my world: At the end of the day at school, I was coming out of my 6th period class and there was this girl I *really* don't like because she's just *so* annoying. She was wearing one of those long sweater-trenchcoat type things. There was this ladybug on her backpack strap. When her friends *Note: I like her friends, but not her* pointed it out to her, she started screaming at, apparently, the very scary ladybug. (dramatic music))
KJ: Um... I guess we really should go to Affadanitica, and even board the Mother Ship. It sounds like such a wonderful place!
Bob (and the other fruit): GREAT! The Mother Ship will come in 9347 decades. Have fun! We must journey to another land!
*~Bob the Eskimo Tap-Dancing Pineapple and the fruit board the large flying thing and fly off into the distance~*
To be continued...
Author: As an afterthought: TUNE IN NEXT TIME!
Author's Note: I have no idea whatsoever as to why I even wrote that. I recently ran out of JellyBelly's and now I shall have to buy more in order to continue my inventive streak of absolute nonsense... Anyways...
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here except for Bob the Eskimo Tap-Dancing Pineapple and all of the fruit. The "plot" is also mine, though my friend helped me think of it.