Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

A X Video Fic by

Sakura

You were once

my one companion

you were all

that mattered...

Nine years before the events of X, Subaru and Hokuto are at Seishirou's apartment having a home cooked meal. Hokuto starts to laugh at some joke while Subaru tries not to glance at the older man.

You were once

a friend and father -

Seishirou sneaks into Subaru's bedroom. The sixteen-year-old is having trouble sleeping, tossing and turning. The blankets are pushed to the foot of the bed. Seishirou brushes away a stray hair and Subaru calms down at the touch. Smiling to himself, the sakurazukamori gently covers the sleeping boy with the blankets before vanishing into the darkness.

then my world

was shattered...

A shocked Subaru stands before a mortally wounded Seishirou, his hand through the sakurazukamori's heart. The taller man smiles as he looks up at him while leaning against him.

"Subaru-kun, I... ... you," he whispers into his ear before dying.

Wishing you were

somehow here again...

wishing you were

somehow near...

Subaru stands before the sakura, a hand on the massive trunk. "Seishirou-san," he whispers, thinking of the man he loved. It has been a month since that fateful day. A weary look appears on the young onmyouji's face.

Sometimes it seemed,

if I just dreamed,

somehow you would

be here...

Deep inside the dreamscape, a sixteen-year-old Subaru is standing before the sakura. Suddenly arms wrap around him, startling him. Turning around, he comes face-to-face with a smiling Seishirou, his right eye is still missing. Subaru lets himself be pulled into the former sakurazukamori's embrace.

Wishing I could

hear you voice again...

knowing that I

never would...

Subaru returns to the sakura yet again, still searching for any sign of Seishirou's spirit trapped inside the tree. 'Please hear me,' he prays, but there is no answer. Seishirou is either not there or the tree won't let him speak. The branches blow in a unfelt wind as if to laugh at its latest guardian.

Dreaming of you

won't help me to do

all that you dreamed

I could...

Subaru removes his hand and sighs as he leans against the trunk. Nearby, people are celebrating Cherry Blossom season, enjoying the unusually warm spring weather. Subaru gazes wistfully at a pair of twin girls as they spread their picnic blanket and pull out their food not too far from him.

Passing bells

and sculpted angels,

cold and monumental,

seem, for you,

the wrong companions -

Subaru stands before a grave marker, the name on it reads: Sakurazuka Seishriou, but he knows there is no body in the grave. The onmyouji looks at the other graves and wraps the white trench coat tighter around himself. He's always hated graveyards. Shaking his head, he turns to leave.

you were warm and gentle

Another flashback to nine years ago. This time Seishirou is carrying an exhausted Subaru after a particularly difficult exorcism. Subaru unconsciously snuggles closer to the smiling veterinarian.

Too many years

Fighting back tears...

Why can't the past

just die?...

Subaru is yet again at the sakura, but this time his hand shakes as he once more tries to find Seishirou's spirit. A tear makes its way down his cheek and he quickly wipes it away, not wanting the former sakurazukamori to see him crying. "Seishirou-san, please answer me!" he says.

Wishing you were

somehow here again...

knowing we must

say goodbye...

"Subaru-kun... I... ... you..." Subaru clutches Seishirou's dying body close to him. The tears at the corners of his eyes threatening to fall. The sakurazukamori smiles as his body vanishes in a swirl of sakura petals. Subaru slumps onto the ground, his arms wrapped around himself. Kamui tries to comfort him by placing a hand on his shoulder, he too is on the verge of tears.

Try to forgive...

teach me to live...

give me the strength to try...

"Why Seishirou?" Subaru says. "Why don't you answer me?!"

"It isn't your fault," Seishirou says, startling the onmyouji. "I'll be waiting," he says before vanishing again.

"Seishirou! Wait!" Subaru calls, but it's too late. The spirit is gone.

No more memories,

no more silent tears...

No more gazing across

the wasted years...

"Please come back," Subaru whispers as a single sakura petal lands on his hand.

"Time to move on Subaru," Hokuto's spirit chides, as she appears. "You don't want to make Sei-chan worry no do you?" He shakes his head, knowing his twin is right. "See ya later Su-chan." Hokuto then vanishes, winking.

Help me say

goodbye.

"Sayonara, Seishirou-san," Subaru says to the sakura then leaves Ueno Park for the last time.

Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Sorry minna! Still suffering from the (sniffle) November 2000 Asuka issue. Anyhoo, I'm glad I finally got to do a fic with this song. One last song to mangle. 'Kay now on to the *ahem* legal crap.

Sei and Su-chan below to the goddesses of CLAMP. The lyrics belong to Tim Rice. I just borrowed them for a while to explore my twisted and somewhat creative imagination. No money, no case - so please don't sue.

Now that that's outta the way, whatcha think of my latest offering? Got comments or ideas for another?