********************************
The way you're bathed in light
Reminds me of that night
God laid me down into your rose garden of trust
*********************************
She's so pale, her skin was pale pale green. At night, in the dark, I was scared to touch her. She glowed, like a jackolantern, a naked light bulb,a camp fire at the beach. A butterfly, wings outstrecthed, stained glass, the petal of a white rose
She was thin. Like a dying tree,but in her hands, in my cupboards, the empty pans, bowls, cups she filled with potions, magic enchanted food. I learned to eat, to taste each seperate flavor, like different children with their own personalities, to appreciate the colors, how each thing felt on my tongue on my lips my fingers all over again.
****************************************
And I was swept away
With nothin' left to say
Some helpless fool
Yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
You're all I need to find
So when the time is right
Come to me sweetly, come to me
Come to me
****************************************
I met her by accident. She was orange,warm, candlelight, rays of sunlight, golden glitter in chairs, her shoulders slouched. I couldn't take my eyes off her.
"Her name is Eden" Abby answered the questions dancing around in my head
I tore my eyes away from her."And??"
"She's the breast cancer case" Abby touched my arm delicately,"Luka, do you want it??"
There was a shock. She lost her mystery. The strange wonderful glow..the result of her medications, the mermaid skin, her chemo therapy.
"I'll take it" I answered quietly,"Exam 2"
****************************************
Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us
****************************************
She was quiet, almost apologetic.
"Fever??"
Eden nodded, her hands trembling."Feel.."
I didn't want to touch her. I didn't want to break her
"Dr.Kovac" Eden said softly, her eyes watering,"I'm tired
I watched her from the corner of the room
"I just want to sleep"
***************************************
Oh yeah, we meet again
It's like we never left
Time in between was just a dream
Did we leave this place?
***************************************
Abby later told me Eden was homeless, a gypsy wandering the streets
When I went into the exam room that night, I saw it. Her eyes sprung open with fear.A ray of light from the artifically lit hall poured down on her, I saw her elfkin face, her stained lips, her eyes
Her empty eyes that played movies. Bits and pieces of our lives. I saw my country. I saw her running,I saw my children
"Eden" I knelt down beside her,"I..."
She reached out and touched my face.
************************************
This crazy fog surrounds me
You wrap your legs around me
All I can do to try and breathe
Let me breathe so that I
So we can go together!
*************************************
Wrapped in blankets, my coat and scarf, in my arms, I put her in my car and drove her home.
That night I barely slept, I could barely breath. I didn't want to take any air away from her
I heard her footsteps in the darkened apartment.
"Luka??" she looked like a sheet hanging on the line to dry, pale and swaying
I sat up and reached for the light
"Don't!" she cried
I didn't need to really. She was that bright, that iredsicent.I closed my eyes and just listened to her raspy breath.
"My fever's back"
I held out my trembling hand to her like I was holding a piece of glass, jewerly, an ancient crumbling artifact, a newborn baby.I held my breath
She picked up her long skirt and knelt down by the couch.Eden took my hand in hers and rested it on her heated skin
"I only have tyenol" I pulled away
Like a kitten, she tuckhed her legs under her and rested her head on my lap
I closed my eyes, stroking her hair until we both fell asleep
*************************************
love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin's cry?
**************************************
Everything felt unimportant at work.Except for the occasional smile from Abby. I wanted to be home, to hold her shaking feverish body against mine and sleep
I caught Abby looking at me once. Her eyes looked like Eden's.Frightened..
****************************************
see the road rise up to meet us
it's in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us
******************************************
"Luka??" Eden shivered in the doorway of my bathroom
My eyes wandered to her chest
"Luka" she repeated
It was awful.HOrrible,tragic, nauseating. This perfect, beautiful thing was torn, cut up, scarred
She shivered violently in the doorway, but reached out for my hands.
I had never seen her naked. I had never wanted to. I wanted to keep that part of her hidden, to pretend it never happened, that she was untouched.Flawless
Tears raced down my cheeks, my hands tracing over the scars of where her breasts once were.
Eden touched the side of my face."You have your own ugly scars. Not everyone can see them,but they're there"
I looked into her eyes. This time I was prepared, I had resurrected my wall. My wife running, my children crying..fire. It was my own personal hell. She blinked,tears falling from her eyes. And I saw what I never wanted to remeber ever again.
I sat in the what was once my home, our home, holding my empty, cold soul-less children in my arms
Eden turned and walked to my bedroom, water dripping from her fingertips and the bottom of her hair
***************************************
life is like a shooting star
it don't matter who you are
if you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time
we are lost 'til we are found
this phoenix rises up from the ground
and all these wars are over
***************************************
She held me that night.
That night I cried. She wrapped her small arms around me, rested my head on her shoulder.I could hear her cool shallow breath in my ear
But I kept crying
As suddenly as she came into my life, she was gone.
****************************************
Love will lead us
She will lead us
*****************************************
Eden only kissed me once. That night.
She whispered in my ear,"Till your deepest secrets are known to me, I will not be moved"
And I told her. I told her how I had loved my wife, how I loved Abby. How they were both taken from me. The rage I felt,how I still longed to hold my children. I told her about holding the dying in my arms, giving a woman her last rites, so she would feel at peace. I told her about my anger and sadness
Eden let out one last sigh
The glow was gone. The warm inviting feeling that had enveloped my apartment had vanished.
She was gone
*********************************
love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin's cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it's in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us
********************************
I took a rag to her face, her hands, like I had been taught to do.Delicately I put her dress back on, I braided her hair
Then I knelt down beside her and cried
**************************
"Abby!" I pounded on the door,"Abby!" my voice shook,tears racing down my cheeks
"luka??" she groaned sleepily,"Luka,what's wrong??"
Over her I could see inside her apartment.It glowed, it was warm, the things I had wanted that had been taken away from me
"You're shaking" she threw the door open,"Is it Eden??"
All I could do was nodd
***************************
love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
*****************************
She motioned to the couch, as she reached over gently for the lamp."Are you okay??"
The lamp made the room orange in hue. All I could think about was candles
"I don't want to wake Carter" I looked at her sadly
Abby looked away,"He's not here..sit"
I nodded, curling my legs up under me and resting my head on her lap
"You really loved her, didn't you??" she sighed, sinking into the couch, her fingers entangled in my hair
I cried myself to sleep, in her arms
**************************************
She didn't deserve a day like that.
The snow was thick and suffocating, taking all the sunshine and life from the plants lying underneath.The sky was dark.Inside, I was screaming
Any sort of change would have been easier, ever a vine, choking for air out of the snow, roses bleeding, leaves falling, breaking themselves off like a sacrifice.Fire
Abby reached over and put her mitted hand in my coat pocket, her fingers searching for mine.
"We have come to bid farewell.."
There should have been more people there.Not just me and Abby.
"As I walk through the valley of Death"
Now I saw the movies in Abby's eyes.Bits and pieces of the future.I gave her hand a squeeze.
"Eden would have liked.."
I closed my eyes, I could picture her dancing, flying,swaying, her large white wings spread wide, laughing
I realized I missed laughter
The priest closed his bible, nodding to the men to lower her coffin
I looked up just then, to see a dove mid-flight in the sky.As it flew farther away from me, it dropped a feather.I watched it slowly sail to the top of the coffin, like a giant sigh
She was gone
*********************************
The way you're bathed in light
reminds me of that night
god laid me down into your rose garden of trust
and I was swept away
with nothin' left to say
some helpless fool
yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
you're all I need to find
so when the time is right
come to me sweetly, come to me
come to me
**********************************
Dedicated to the Queen Luby-
Because I bug the shit out of you, because you're truthful
Because I'm overly emotional and easily exciteable, Because I ramble
Because you're way too patient,because we glow with insanity and
relish in it.
Thanks
The way you're bathed in light
Reminds me of that night
God laid me down into your rose garden of trust
*********************************
She's so pale, her skin was pale pale green. At night, in the dark, I was scared to touch her. She glowed, like a jackolantern, a naked light bulb,a camp fire at the beach. A butterfly, wings outstrecthed, stained glass, the petal of a white rose
She was thin. Like a dying tree,but in her hands, in my cupboards, the empty pans, bowls, cups she filled with potions, magic enchanted food. I learned to eat, to taste each seperate flavor, like different children with their own personalities, to appreciate the colors, how each thing felt on my tongue on my lips my fingers all over again.
****************************************
And I was swept away
With nothin' left to say
Some helpless fool
Yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
You're all I need to find
So when the time is right
Come to me sweetly, come to me
Come to me
****************************************
I met her by accident. She was orange,warm, candlelight, rays of sunlight, golden glitter in chairs, her shoulders slouched. I couldn't take my eyes off her.
"Her name is Eden" Abby answered the questions dancing around in my head
I tore my eyes away from her."And??"
"She's the breast cancer case" Abby touched my arm delicately,"Luka, do you want it??"
There was a shock. She lost her mystery. The strange wonderful glow..the result of her medications, the mermaid skin, her chemo therapy.
"I'll take it" I answered quietly,"Exam 2"
****************************************
Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us
****************************************
She was quiet, almost apologetic.
"Fever??"
Eden nodded, her hands trembling."Feel.."
I didn't want to touch her. I didn't want to break her
"Dr.Kovac" Eden said softly, her eyes watering,"I'm tired
I watched her from the corner of the room
"I just want to sleep"
***************************************
Oh yeah, we meet again
It's like we never left
Time in between was just a dream
Did we leave this place?
***************************************
Abby later told me Eden was homeless, a gypsy wandering the streets
When I went into the exam room that night, I saw it. Her eyes sprung open with fear.A ray of light from the artifically lit hall poured down on her, I saw her elfkin face, her stained lips, her eyes
Her empty eyes that played movies. Bits and pieces of our lives. I saw my country. I saw her running,I saw my children
"Eden" I knelt down beside her,"I..."
She reached out and touched my face.
************************************
This crazy fog surrounds me
You wrap your legs around me
All I can do to try and breathe
Let me breathe so that I
So we can go together!
*************************************
Wrapped in blankets, my coat and scarf, in my arms, I put her in my car and drove her home.
That night I barely slept, I could barely breath. I didn't want to take any air away from her
I heard her footsteps in the darkened apartment.
"Luka??" she looked like a sheet hanging on the line to dry, pale and swaying
I sat up and reached for the light
"Don't!" she cried
I didn't need to really. She was that bright, that iredsicent.I closed my eyes and just listened to her raspy breath.
"My fever's back"
I held out my trembling hand to her like I was holding a piece of glass, jewerly, an ancient crumbling artifact, a newborn baby.I held my breath
She picked up her long skirt and knelt down by the couch.Eden took my hand in hers and rested it on her heated skin
"I only have tyenol" I pulled away
Like a kitten, she tuckhed her legs under her and rested her head on my lap
I closed my eyes, stroking her hair until we both fell asleep
*************************************
love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin's cry?
**************************************
Everything felt unimportant at work.Except for the occasional smile from Abby. I wanted to be home, to hold her shaking feverish body against mine and sleep
I caught Abby looking at me once. Her eyes looked like Eden's.Frightened..
****************************************
see the road rise up to meet us
it's in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us
******************************************
"Luka??" Eden shivered in the doorway of my bathroom
My eyes wandered to her chest
"Luka" she repeated
It was awful.HOrrible,tragic, nauseating. This perfect, beautiful thing was torn, cut up, scarred
She shivered violently in the doorway, but reached out for my hands.
I had never seen her naked. I had never wanted to. I wanted to keep that part of her hidden, to pretend it never happened, that she was untouched.Flawless
Tears raced down my cheeks, my hands tracing over the scars of where her breasts once were.
Eden touched the side of my face."You have your own ugly scars. Not everyone can see them,but they're there"
I looked into her eyes. This time I was prepared, I had resurrected my wall. My wife running, my children crying..fire. It was my own personal hell. She blinked,tears falling from her eyes. And I saw what I never wanted to remeber ever again.
I sat in the what was once my home, our home, holding my empty, cold soul-less children in my arms
Eden turned and walked to my bedroom, water dripping from her fingertips and the bottom of her hair
***************************************
life is like a shooting star
it don't matter who you are
if you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time
we are lost 'til we are found
this phoenix rises up from the ground
and all these wars are over
***************************************
She held me that night.
That night I cried. She wrapped her small arms around me, rested my head on her shoulder.I could hear her cool shallow breath in my ear
But I kept crying
As suddenly as she came into my life, she was gone.
****************************************
Love will lead us
She will lead us
*****************************************
Eden only kissed me once. That night.
She whispered in my ear,"Till your deepest secrets are known to me, I will not be moved"
And I told her. I told her how I had loved my wife, how I loved Abby. How they were both taken from me. The rage I felt,how I still longed to hold my children. I told her about holding the dying in my arms, giving a woman her last rites, so she would feel at peace. I told her about my anger and sadness
Eden let out one last sigh
The glow was gone. The warm inviting feeling that had enveloped my apartment had vanished.
She was gone
*********************************
love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin's cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it's in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us
********************************
I took a rag to her face, her hands, like I had been taught to do.Delicately I put her dress back on, I braided her hair
Then I knelt down beside her and cried
**************************
"Abby!" I pounded on the door,"Abby!" my voice shook,tears racing down my cheeks
"luka??" she groaned sleepily,"Luka,what's wrong??"
Over her I could see inside her apartment.It glowed, it was warm, the things I had wanted that had been taken away from me
"You're shaking" she threw the door open,"Is it Eden??"
All I could do was nodd
***************************
love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
*****************************
She motioned to the couch, as she reached over gently for the lamp."Are you okay??"
The lamp made the room orange in hue. All I could think about was candles
"I don't want to wake Carter" I looked at her sadly
Abby looked away,"He's not here..sit"
I nodded, curling my legs up under me and resting my head on her lap
"You really loved her, didn't you??" she sighed, sinking into the couch, her fingers entangled in my hair
I cried myself to sleep, in her arms
**************************************
She didn't deserve a day like that.
The snow was thick and suffocating, taking all the sunshine and life from the plants lying underneath.The sky was dark.Inside, I was screaming
Any sort of change would have been easier, ever a vine, choking for air out of the snow, roses bleeding, leaves falling, breaking themselves off like a sacrifice.Fire
Abby reached over and put her mitted hand in my coat pocket, her fingers searching for mine.
"We have come to bid farewell.."
There should have been more people there.Not just me and Abby.
"As I walk through the valley of Death"
Now I saw the movies in Abby's eyes.Bits and pieces of the future.I gave her hand a squeeze.
"Eden would have liked.."
I closed my eyes, I could picture her dancing, flying,swaying, her large white wings spread wide, laughing
I realized I missed laughter
The priest closed his bible, nodding to the men to lower her coffin
I looked up just then, to see a dove mid-flight in the sky.As it flew farther away from me, it dropped a feather.I watched it slowly sail to the top of the coffin, like a giant sigh
She was gone
*********************************
The way you're bathed in light
reminds me of that night
god laid me down into your rose garden of trust
and I was swept away
with nothin' left to say
some helpless fool
yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
you're all I need to find
so when the time is right
come to me sweetly, come to me
come to me
**********************************
Dedicated to the Queen Luby-
Because I bug the shit out of you, because you're truthful
Because I'm overly emotional and easily exciteable, Because I ramble
Because you're way too patient,because we glow with insanity and
relish in it.
Thanks