A/N: This is just TOO weird. The start of an epic! *cough cough*
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One day there was a flag named Joe. Joe always loved saving the great big Smiley named Bob from the evil Mines. But one day, Joe got lost finding his way to work. He suddenly found himself on... the DESKTOP!! *Da da da DAAA*
He quickly jumped into the air and let the wind from the computer's processor carry him across a CGI Vincent Valentine's red cape. Too bad for poor Joe that he was looking at Vincent's bu—claw arm, instead of the Recycle Bin looming ahead. With a *SMACK* and a *SPLAT*, he hit the dang thing that "Recycles" but does not "Delete".
All Joe could feel was pain, even though he was an inanimate Minesweeper flag who shouldn't be able to feel any emotions.
He slid off the Recycle Bin and fell down towards the bottom of the monitor, bouncing off Internet Explorer, Quicken '98, Microsoft Outlook, Printshop 10.0, and the Rock My World.asx media player file. Pain instantly shot through his... flag-like attributes... yeah... that's the word.
If Joe could have talked, he would have said, "OW." He was a flag, though, so he couldn't talk. Therefore he did not say, "OW." He landed with a *THUMP* on the Toolbar, and inched his way over to the Start button. He attempted to jump into the air, but had no legs. However, his pole sunk down into the Start button, bringing up the menu screen.
He bounded up the different items, coming across the Settings popup... instantly a menu shot out of the side, knocking him off his fee---flag-like attributes. He looked closely at the menu before him... Somehow, Joe didn't think that the Control Panel or Printer Settings would be of any use to him...
He quickly jumped up a level and hit the Documents file. Another menu shot across and up the screen. Joe would have screamed, but his flag-like attributes would not allow it. He breathed a... no wait. Scratch that. He WOULD have breathed a sigh of relief if he were not a Minesweeper flag.
After carefully reviewing (reviews, something I'm NOT going to get for this) every document on the long, LONG, LOOOOONG list, Joe realized that nothing here would be of any help... A deep angst burned in his... nix that. He's a flag. He can't feel angst.
Anyway, Joe wandered over to the Program files, and the longest one yet popped up. By now, however, Joe was used to the sudden movement and was hardly fazed. He looked up as best as a flag can, and saw the awesome site before him. A whole mech CITY of Internet tools, Messengers, games, and various Quicken products loomed before him!
At the peak of all of it, though, was a heavenly site... The Accessories file!!! He was almost home!! As quickly as he could, Joe bounced up to the Accessories file, sailing over Command Prompt, LucasArts, Broderbund Gaming, and Age of Empires.
A surge of joy leaped through his.... flag-like attributes... as the Accessories drew nearer and nearer. He could almost see(?) the Smiley's face shining down on him as he freefell into Games.
Joe readied to stab his pole into the Minesweeper icon, when he slipped... and accidentally clicked... SOLITAIRE!!
~ ~ ~ ~
Well, that's it folks. Join us next time for Chapter Two, "Joe Plays Solitaire". Reviews welcome, though I know that I won't get any. I don't own Minesweeper or ANY of the Microsoft products mentioned here.
~ ~ ~ ~
One day there was a flag named Joe. Joe always loved saving the great big Smiley named Bob from the evil Mines. But one day, Joe got lost finding his way to work. He suddenly found himself on... the DESKTOP!! *Da da da DAAA*
He quickly jumped into the air and let the wind from the computer's processor carry him across a CGI Vincent Valentine's red cape. Too bad for poor Joe that he was looking at Vincent's bu—claw arm, instead of the Recycle Bin looming ahead. With a *SMACK* and a *SPLAT*, he hit the dang thing that "Recycles" but does not "Delete".
All Joe could feel was pain, even though he was an inanimate Minesweeper flag who shouldn't be able to feel any emotions.
He slid off the Recycle Bin and fell down towards the bottom of the monitor, bouncing off Internet Explorer, Quicken '98, Microsoft Outlook, Printshop 10.0, and the Rock My World.asx media player file. Pain instantly shot through his... flag-like attributes... yeah... that's the word.
If Joe could have talked, he would have said, "OW." He was a flag, though, so he couldn't talk. Therefore he did not say, "OW." He landed with a *THUMP* on the Toolbar, and inched his way over to the Start button. He attempted to jump into the air, but had no legs. However, his pole sunk down into the Start button, bringing up the menu screen.
He bounded up the different items, coming across the Settings popup... instantly a menu shot out of the side, knocking him off his fee---flag-like attributes. He looked closely at the menu before him... Somehow, Joe didn't think that the Control Panel or Printer Settings would be of any use to him...
He quickly jumped up a level and hit the Documents file. Another menu shot across and up the screen. Joe would have screamed, but his flag-like attributes would not allow it. He breathed a... no wait. Scratch that. He WOULD have breathed a sigh of relief if he were not a Minesweeper flag.
After carefully reviewing (reviews, something I'm NOT going to get for this) every document on the long, LONG, LOOOOONG list, Joe realized that nothing here would be of any help... A deep angst burned in his... nix that. He's a flag. He can't feel angst.
Anyway, Joe wandered over to the Program files, and the longest one yet popped up. By now, however, Joe was used to the sudden movement and was hardly fazed. He looked up as best as a flag can, and saw the awesome site before him. A whole mech CITY of Internet tools, Messengers, games, and various Quicken products loomed before him!
At the peak of all of it, though, was a heavenly site... The Accessories file!!! He was almost home!! As quickly as he could, Joe bounced up to the Accessories file, sailing over Command Prompt, LucasArts, Broderbund Gaming, and Age of Empires.
A surge of joy leaped through his.... flag-like attributes... as the Accessories drew nearer and nearer. He could almost see(?) the Smiley's face shining down on him as he freefell into Games.
Joe readied to stab his pole into the Minesweeper icon, when he slipped... and accidentally clicked... SOLITAIRE!!
~ ~ ~ ~
Well, that's it folks. Join us next time for Chapter Two, "Joe Plays Solitaire". Reviews welcome, though I know that I won't get any. I don't own Minesweeper or ANY of the Microsoft products mentioned here.