Title: As I'm Leaving
Author: Rob - fatabbot@btinternet.com
Archive: Not without permission please
Category: Carter/Abby
Rating: PG
Spoilers: All of season 7
Author's notes: Unsure where this is going to go as yet. So bear with me ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own em so don't sue me please :)
Summary: Carter decides to leave County. But not before one difficult trauma with Abby.
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Chapter 1 - Connection
John Carter walked into Cook County General with his mind made up. There was nothing left for him there. If he was going to get anywhere in his life he would have to move on. Leaving this place would be like losing a limb but he had to do it. He had grown strangely fond of the hospital. Being there for as long as he had, seeing people come and go; staff as well as patients. He found it somewhat hard to believe that he would be joining those people who walk out of the ER doors and never come back.
"Shut up John," he said out loud to himself. He would have to try his hardest not to get nostalgic, as he knew that a small part of him would always belong at County, and would remain there after he left. Nothing he could do except get on with his life, wherever he ended up....
"What's that Carter?" Dave Malucci said appearing out of the corner of the lounge, "did you say something?"
"Oh, don't worry Dave I was just mumbling to myself," he replied. He would probably, even though he wouldn't admit it, miss Malucci, the relentless, woman chasing, prankster, even though his superiors would love to see the back of him. Not to mention Deb, who bore the brunt of his flirtatious behaviour.
"You can freak me out Carter you know that?"
"Well I do try Dave," Carter replied as he walked back out into the ER. It was now or never. He could hear Kerry Weaver barking out orders from what seemed like miles away. He quickly found her working on a patient with Mark Greene. "Dr. Weaver I need to..."
"Save it Carter, we have a multiple trauma coming in, ETA five minutes I want you to take the next one that comes in, Abby and Cleo will help you."
"Dr. Weaver I..."
"Move it Carter!"
Great, ten minutes of his shift left and now he wouldn't be able to get away for at least another hour. As much as he respected (and hated) Kerry Weaver, he couldn't help but feel like she had driven him away. When she returned his application for Chief Resident it made him realise that if he wanted to further his career he would have to do it someplace else. So that's what he would have to do. He didn't care where he went as long as they didn't judge him like Weaver did. She automatically assumed that he wouldn't be able to handle the extra work that the Chief Resident position would heap upon him because of his previous addiction. Although he could understand her concern he thought that she could have at least discussed it with him before she made her decision. He thought he could handle the pressure, she obviously disagreed and he wasn't about to try and convince her. It was apparent to him that Kerry still saw John Carter recovering addict and not John Carter Medical Doctor when she looked at him, and nothing was going to change her perspective.
And now he had to work with Abby.
Stepping out into the ambulance bay he looked across to see her standing alone, with her arms wrapped around herself, smoking a cigarette. She looked up at him and the two of them exchanged awkward glances before he smiled to try and break the ice. She half-smiled back at him then stared out into the nothingness again. He hated this, he hated what he had created between them. He missed her so much. She had been avoiding him ever since he told her that he had feelings for her, not that he could blame her. When he was on a break or lunch he would go to the places they used to spend time together subconsciously hoping to bump into her. The roof, the bench by the lake, even over at doc's but she was nowhere to be found at their regular haunts. He wanted to see her, to tell her he didn't mean what he said, that without her in his life as his best friend he was struggling to function properly. But he hadn't, and he was going to leave her behind because he had to forget her. He had to forget her and what they had because they weren't going to get it back. If she wanted his friendship she would have said something by now.
His thoughts were dispersed by the sound of sirens drawing ever closer.
"Here we go," he said not looking at Abby, knowing that it wouldn't draw a look from her. Cleo rushed out to join them as the ambulance pulled up. Doris jumped out dragging behind her a young girl bloodied and battered lying on a gurney. "What have we got?"
"Melissa Stevens, 9 years old, two broken legs, minor lacerations to head, chest and arms, complains of right sided chest pain." Doris rattled off as she eased the girl out of the ambulance bay and into the hospital.
"What happened?" Cleo asked, running alongside the gurney.
"RTA, she and her dad were hit by a car coming the other way. The guy was DOA, and her dad isn't looking so good."
"Melissa? Melissa can you hear me?" Carter raised his voice a little.
"Where's my dad?" The young girl replied, she was terrified.
"I'm Doctor Carter Melissa I'm here to help you get better. Can you tell us what happened?"
"We were in a car accident," Melissa replied, "where's my dad?"
"He's in the other trauma room with some other doctors Melissa," Abby answered, "they're going to take good care of him."
"Daddy!" Melissa called out, "I want my Daddy!" Cleo and Abby called out various soothing tones as Carter worked frantically to help Melissa.
"Melissa can you tell me where it hurts?"
"My chest... my chest hurts a lot."
"OK honey Dr. Carter will give you something for the pain." Abby said, gently stroking the girl's face.
Thankfully Melissa wasn't too seriously hurt, but as Cleo got called away to help with the father Carter and Abby worked furiously to limit the extent of her injuries. When she was stable Carter went through to tend to Melissa's dad.
Kerry eventually threw down the paddles and looked up at the clock, "time of death 19:56." Four ER doctors were working on him but they couldn't save him, Carter felt like a fraud.
"Someone's going to have to talk to the daughter," Cleo said sombrely.
"I'll do it," Carter said and turned to find Melissa.
He walked into an exam room to find Abby suturing a cut on Melissa's head. He stood silently and watched noting how beautiful Abby looked, even though she had just worked a double shift. He saw her laugh and joke with Melissa, and he hated himself for what he was about to do.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything?" he said as he walked further into the room. Abby and Melissa looked up at him with huge smiles on their faces, he felt the corners of his mouth turn upward but were forced back down by the fact that in less than a minute Melissa would be crying. He always hated this part.
"Abby was telling me a funny story," Melissa said, she let out a little giggle. Carter half-smiled again, and he hated himself again.
"Was she? Well we've got something else to talk about now." He looked up at Abby, and he noticed the expression on her face. She had read him, like she always did, she read him like a book and knew exactly what he was about to say. She got up to leave but again she saw the look Carter had on his face and sat down, putting her arm around Melissa's shoulders.
"Is it about my Daddy?" Carter's heart was breaking.
"Yes, Melissa I'm afraid it is. After I finished working on you I went over to help with your dad. His injuries were very severe. We all worked really hard to try and save him but after a little while his heart stopped beating. We carried on trying to get him to wake up but..." Melissa looked down at the floor, "Melissa I'm sorry but your father died." At that Melissa started to sob quietly, until she gave up trying to be brave. She flopped into Carter's arms and cried into his chest.
"I want my mommy!" she said, the sound of her voice muffled by Carter's shirt. He looked up at Abby and they stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before Melissa let go of Carter and held out her arms for Abby. She held her gently and whispered into her head.
"It's ok honey, it's ok." Carter and Abby shared a look again before Kerry slowly walked into the room.
"Dr. Carter, you wanted to talk to me?" Kerry turned without waiting for a response. Carter leaned forward and whispered a thankyou into Abby's ear before getting up to leave. He turned around before he left to see Melissa crying into Abby's shoulder. Abby simply nodded at him and smiled softly. Carter left to talk to Kerry.
Author: Rob - fatabbot@btinternet.com
Archive: Not without permission please
Category: Carter/Abby
Rating: PG
Spoilers: All of season 7
Author's notes: Unsure where this is going to go as yet. So bear with me ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own em so don't sue me please :)
Summary: Carter decides to leave County. But not before one difficult trauma with Abby.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 1 - Connection
John Carter walked into Cook County General with his mind made up. There was nothing left for him there. If he was going to get anywhere in his life he would have to move on. Leaving this place would be like losing a limb but he had to do it. He had grown strangely fond of the hospital. Being there for as long as he had, seeing people come and go; staff as well as patients. He found it somewhat hard to believe that he would be joining those people who walk out of the ER doors and never come back.
"Shut up John," he said out loud to himself. He would have to try his hardest not to get nostalgic, as he knew that a small part of him would always belong at County, and would remain there after he left. Nothing he could do except get on with his life, wherever he ended up....
"What's that Carter?" Dave Malucci said appearing out of the corner of the lounge, "did you say something?"
"Oh, don't worry Dave I was just mumbling to myself," he replied. He would probably, even though he wouldn't admit it, miss Malucci, the relentless, woman chasing, prankster, even though his superiors would love to see the back of him. Not to mention Deb, who bore the brunt of his flirtatious behaviour.
"You can freak me out Carter you know that?"
"Well I do try Dave," Carter replied as he walked back out into the ER. It was now or never. He could hear Kerry Weaver barking out orders from what seemed like miles away. He quickly found her working on a patient with Mark Greene. "Dr. Weaver I need to..."
"Save it Carter, we have a multiple trauma coming in, ETA five minutes I want you to take the next one that comes in, Abby and Cleo will help you."
"Dr. Weaver I..."
"Move it Carter!"
Great, ten minutes of his shift left and now he wouldn't be able to get away for at least another hour. As much as he respected (and hated) Kerry Weaver, he couldn't help but feel like she had driven him away. When she returned his application for Chief Resident it made him realise that if he wanted to further his career he would have to do it someplace else. So that's what he would have to do. He didn't care where he went as long as they didn't judge him like Weaver did. She automatically assumed that he wouldn't be able to handle the extra work that the Chief Resident position would heap upon him because of his previous addiction. Although he could understand her concern he thought that she could have at least discussed it with him before she made her decision. He thought he could handle the pressure, she obviously disagreed and he wasn't about to try and convince her. It was apparent to him that Kerry still saw John Carter recovering addict and not John Carter Medical Doctor when she looked at him, and nothing was going to change her perspective.
And now he had to work with Abby.
Stepping out into the ambulance bay he looked across to see her standing alone, with her arms wrapped around herself, smoking a cigarette. She looked up at him and the two of them exchanged awkward glances before he smiled to try and break the ice. She half-smiled back at him then stared out into the nothingness again. He hated this, he hated what he had created between them. He missed her so much. She had been avoiding him ever since he told her that he had feelings for her, not that he could blame her. When he was on a break or lunch he would go to the places they used to spend time together subconsciously hoping to bump into her. The roof, the bench by the lake, even over at doc's but she was nowhere to be found at their regular haunts. He wanted to see her, to tell her he didn't mean what he said, that without her in his life as his best friend he was struggling to function properly. But he hadn't, and he was going to leave her behind because he had to forget her. He had to forget her and what they had because they weren't going to get it back. If she wanted his friendship she would have said something by now.
His thoughts were dispersed by the sound of sirens drawing ever closer.
"Here we go," he said not looking at Abby, knowing that it wouldn't draw a look from her. Cleo rushed out to join them as the ambulance pulled up. Doris jumped out dragging behind her a young girl bloodied and battered lying on a gurney. "What have we got?"
"Melissa Stevens, 9 years old, two broken legs, minor lacerations to head, chest and arms, complains of right sided chest pain." Doris rattled off as she eased the girl out of the ambulance bay and into the hospital.
"What happened?" Cleo asked, running alongside the gurney.
"RTA, she and her dad were hit by a car coming the other way. The guy was DOA, and her dad isn't looking so good."
"Melissa? Melissa can you hear me?" Carter raised his voice a little.
"Where's my dad?" The young girl replied, she was terrified.
"I'm Doctor Carter Melissa I'm here to help you get better. Can you tell us what happened?"
"We were in a car accident," Melissa replied, "where's my dad?"
"He's in the other trauma room with some other doctors Melissa," Abby answered, "they're going to take good care of him."
"Daddy!" Melissa called out, "I want my Daddy!" Cleo and Abby called out various soothing tones as Carter worked frantically to help Melissa.
"Melissa can you tell me where it hurts?"
"My chest... my chest hurts a lot."
"OK honey Dr. Carter will give you something for the pain." Abby said, gently stroking the girl's face.
Thankfully Melissa wasn't too seriously hurt, but as Cleo got called away to help with the father Carter and Abby worked furiously to limit the extent of her injuries. When she was stable Carter went through to tend to Melissa's dad.
Kerry eventually threw down the paddles and looked up at the clock, "time of death 19:56." Four ER doctors were working on him but they couldn't save him, Carter felt like a fraud.
"Someone's going to have to talk to the daughter," Cleo said sombrely.
"I'll do it," Carter said and turned to find Melissa.
He walked into an exam room to find Abby suturing a cut on Melissa's head. He stood silently and watched noting how beautiful Abby looked, even though she had just worked a double shift. He saw her laugh and joke with Melissa, and he hated himself for what he was about to do.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything?" he said as he walked further into the room. Abby and Melissa looked up at him with huge smiles on their faces, he felt the corners of his mouth turn upward but were forced back down by the fact that in less than a minute Melissa would be crying. He always hated this part.
"Abby was telling me a funny story," Melissa said, she let out a little giggle. Carter half-smiled again, and he hated himself again.
"Was she? Well we've got something else to talk about now." He looked up at Abby, and he noticed the expression on her face. She had read him, like she always did, she read him like a book and knew exactly what he was about to say. She got up to leave but again she saw the look Carter had on his face and sat down, putting her arm around Melissa's shoulders.
"Is it about my Daddy?" Carter's heart was breaking.
"Yes, Melissa I'm afraid it is. After I finished working on you I went over to help with your dad. His injuries were very severe. We all worked really hard to try and save him but after a little while his heart stopped beating. We carried on trying to get him to wake up but..." Melissa looked down at the floor, "Melissa I'm sorry but your father died." At that Melissa started to sob quietly, until she gave up trying to be brave. She flopped into Carter's arms and cried into his chest.
"I want my mommy!" she said, the sound of her voice muffled by Carter's shirt. He looked up at Abby and they stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before Melissa let go of Carter and held out her arms for Abby. She held her gently and whispered into her head.
"It's ok honey, it's ok." Carter and Abby shared a look again before Kerry slowly walked into the room.
"Dr. Carter, you wanted to talk to me?" Kerry turned without waiting for a response. Carter leaned forward and whispered a thankyou into Abby's ear before getting up to leave. He turned around before he left to see Melissa crying into Abby's shoulder. Abby simply nodded at him and smiled softly. Carter left to talk to Kerry.