Carlos stands in the rain.
It's very late. It's a cold autumn day. He's wet. Yet all the while he refuses to go inside.
Is it fear? Is it anxiety? Or is it simply the truth holding him hostage.
This old black cat appears before the light of the moon from the shadows. She's limber and annoyed with him. Her yellow eyes hold hatred.
He's weeping. Boys don't cry. Their not supposed to. He hisses at her, "What are you looking at! Leave me alone."
His father is a drunk, asleep on the couch. His mother abrupt, out of the house. Every night he's left alone. Every night he's wet and he's cold.
This boy used to dance. He used to hold electric light in the palm of his hands. Life in his way has become a Lana del ray song.
Tonight he is more than alone. He's broken. The screen it is. That's what ruptured light. He cannot close his eyes without seeing the rip of Ashton Tanner's thighs beneath the knife. A young man in a film dying by way of a favored Halloween film actor. He's never watched a boy, as young as him, beg for help that way.
The movies over. The tales been told. Now he's shivering and he's crying and so young it counts for almost nothing.
"OW!" Cries a voice.
Oh, that's James. He lives beside Carlos beyond that tall fence. He's been climbing the trees. James likes to spy on people and he's a very beautiful boy but very sad. You see James likes the broken things and no one knows why exactly. He sees her cry on screen and he too must fall apart. "You're watching Disney Channel." but it's just liv and Maddie's worst break ups. James wants the pain and he's not really sure why.
How much longer would he have stayed in that tree if fate hadn't had it that he'd fall? Those ever greens so mean for letting him sink down to the revelation below.
I'm Kendall. I'm fifteen. I'm a writer and Carlos is my step brother. His dad and my mom are madly in love. James is a fool in love with the sad atmosphere of the blue life here in snowy, dark-christmas, wisconsin, and Carlos is in love with what ever is next in life. As for me... I'm in love with the rocks wet in autumn rain, with the beam of mother moon on such a sad evening ( I too watched that movie), with that boy that just moved in down the street who likes to take in dead racoons from the street and try to bring them back to life. Logan is morbid but he means well.
This is the story of how the big rain of 2011 washed things up from an unused sandbox, four boys became friends, and friendship became very gay and full of adventure because the world is stupid and life on the run is better when you're in love with the kid who kept you from being roadkill today after class ended and all four of us ride the same bus. It's friday night. No school tomorrow.
No sleep for Carlos tonight. That movie messed him up too bad, and for all the wrong reasons. Ashton Tanner is young and brunette and beautiful and so is James. So when James fell out of that tree and broke his whole damn leg Carlos was in a state. Worried to death. Lifting the boy with all his strength. Carrying him to the neighbors house. Resting all that body weight on his leg as I rang the door bell.
When Ms. Diamond answered the door and saw the state of her son she screamed. Her house help; ms. Titoli saw him she scooped him up and that door closed on us. Carlos and I stood beneath the awning of their porch drenched in the rain. Drenched in pain. There was a spark between him and James, even I saw this from my seat on my favorite boulder. Just like Carlos watched me roll out into the mud and the leaves as a transfer truck barreled unsteadily down 87 this afternoon. Just as Carlos watched Logan clutch my face in his hands. I, with blond hair and sunk in eyes, looked at this young boy in a white hoodie as he revived me. James with his long golden brown locks and timidly curled eyelashes saw my tan and emotional brother Carlos's brown lips purse is worry at his pale pain.
It's love. We're only fifteen and we know it's the truth. I need Carlos the way base needs a melody. Carlos needs James the way synth needs a harmony. This song just began. Won't you listen as we segway into the chorus.