Sasuke couldn't believe it!
A chance at parole!
It was dream come true!
For a full year he went to the classes on self-improvement, he attended the sharing circles, he cried his eyes out at the seminars on letting go of the past, and sent endless letters pleading to the Hokage herself, begging forgiveness for his words and past deeds, but especially his words caught on tape.
"THOSE IDIOTS FELL FOR IT!" Sasuke squealed internally with glee.
Of course, he hadn't changed at all. He still planned on ditching Konoha for Orochimaru eventually once he further tricked them into unsealing his chakra. But he had to play it perfectly! Luckily, he was able to get his hands on the remote, and for once didn't have to sit in Charlotte's lap for it, and was able to catch the ending of The Shawshank Redemption.
He knew EXACTLY what to say at the parole meeting.
Parole Office
3:00 P.M
Sasuke, in handcuffs, was brought into a room where before him behind a long desk sat Tsunade, Jiraiya, Shizune (her right hand having rings on all five fingers), Kakashi, Anko, and Ibiki.
Tsunade, despite her true dislike for the young Uchiha, kept herself professional as she greeted him with a warm smile.
"Please, take a seat." She finally spoke.
Sasuke did as he was told and sat in the only available chair.
Tsunade then leaned forward, her hands folded in front of her mouth as she spoke.
"So…Mr. Uchiha...from what I've been told you've been taking active steps to not only improve yourself but to also make amends for your previous actions. But tell me…do you TRULY believe in your best judgment that within a year's time you've been rehabilitated?"
Sasuke smirked.
This was his chance.
"Rehabilitated? Please. It's just a stupid made-up word so that dumb little bimbos like you can sit behind a desk and feel important."
Tsunade's eye twitched as he continued.
"You're a bitch! And I had sex with your mother last night! And I swear that if you let me out of here, the first thing I'll do is leave again!" Sasuke roared.
3 HOURS LATER
After being mercilessly slapped in the face by Shizune, then Tsunade, then Shizune, then Tsunade, then Shizune, then Tsunade, then Shizune, and then Tsunade again for six straight hours, Sasuke was sentenced to shared solitary confinement with two other inmates.
One was Charlotte, who was still awaiting his court date for his Public Indecency case, the other…
Sasuke shivered as a green-skinned man with a ponytail flirtatiously greeted him and Charlotte at their cell's door.
"Oh my~!" Zarbon moaned as he winked at the pair.
"Goodness…life just got more interesting~!" Charlotte squealed.
"Oh no….." Was all Sasuke could think of.
"Well don't just stand their boys~! Come inside right at once…so that I can~." Zarbon said as the guards hurriedly pushed the pair into the cell with Zarbon, resulting in them falling on top of each other, with Sasuke in the center.
"Oh look! A Sasuke Sandwich!" Charlotte squealed in delight.
"I hope it has lots of meat~! OH!" Zarbon exclaimed.
"Guard…..Guard….GUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD." Was all Sasuke could yell, but no one besides his two cellmates could hear.
ELSEWHERE
Konoha Beach 3 P.M.
Naruto stood along with Ichigo, Goku, Luffy, Kenshiro, all the Jojos, and many other anime main characters.
Along with them were Hinata, the remaining cast of Bleach, and the women that were there for the Beach Episode.
All of them were holding glasses of champagne.
"A toast to our boy Ichigo! 2022 is the year of his show's return! So let's all wish him and his group the best!" Naruto proudly said as they all raised a glass for Bleach's return.
For others, life was good.
BONUS PREQUEL
Menace 2 Konoha
Sasuke sat inside of an interrogation room lit only by a dim hanging light. His hands trembled as he awaited the person who'd question him. On the opposite side of the table in front of him was a tape recorder.
He had just been released from the hospital after being detained by his former teammate and for a week was held within a holding cell.
His only visitor who'd come literally every day and stay there until they were forced to leave: Sakura.
He still shuddered after literally being forced to sit there and listen to her ramble on about her love for him, and how she was sure the Konoha System of Justice would see him through.
"BULL $H%T!" Was all he could think.
After a few more moments of fidgeting in his seat, the door behind him opened and inside stepped his interrogator, Ibiki.
Ibiki wordlessly walked around the table where Sasuke sat, stopping at the available chair on the other side.
He turned to Sasuke, eyeing him with disgust before taking out a single kunai without breaking eye contact with him, he took his seat slowly, and placed the weapon in front of himself, making sure to aim the tip of the blade in Sasuke's direction. He then turned the recorder on and leaned back in his chair.
"Now listen to me you lil' bitch. I'm gonna ask you some real simple questions and I want some real simple answers. You understand?" Ibiki asked.
Sasuke said nothing, he shakily nodded while trying to hold in his piss.
"Now lemme get this right: You were "kidnapped" by the Sound 4 at about 11:15?"
"Y-Yeah I was approached by them and then Sakura ran over an-"
"You were….KIDNAPPED…..by the Sound 4 at 11:15."
"Y-Yeah…..at 11:15 they took me…..y-yes."
"Then why…..were there no signs of a struggle…at the scene of the kidnapping?"
"W-Well…because-"
"Why…are there footprints matching yours….leading out of the village?"
"I uh…well you see…..other people were out that night too…s-so…those could be from anyone….."
"But you were kidnapped definitely….at 12:15?"
"Y-Yes! It was certainly 12:15 if I'm not mistaken-"
"Now ya see somethin? No you see now…..you dun f^$ked up, you know that don't you?" Ibiki darkly chucked.
"Wha-N-No! I just-"
"No I'm just saying you know you f$^ked up, you know that don't you?"
Sasuke couldn't take it anymore.
Ibiki stopped chuckling and sniffed the air.
"Why's it smell like piss in here?"
"I-It was me….I peed." Sasuke admitted between sobs.
"Well…..at least there's not video evidence…."