Steve and Martinson decided to thoroughly evaluate as Rick started to regain consciousness and come out of acoma while Jesslyn decided to call the house and face up to how she snuck out without Jessie knowing
" Jesslyn Renee Webber thank God you are alive and safe. What on earth were you thinking sneaking out and not telling me where you were going. Why would you lie about going to bed young lady? That is not like you!" Jessie barked
" Daddy is awake... He's woken up..." Jesslyn blurted out
" Jesslyn you know it could've been an involuntary muscle response. I am coming to get you and when I bring you home, we are gonna talk" Jessie replied as she hung up to leave to get Jesslyn
Martinson and Steve stepped out to discuss further about Rick's progress on his recovery.
" We were very lucky Steve, had that bullet shifted just a 3rd of a millimeter more like Monica said he wouldn't have made it through surgery. Or at the very least he would've lost all brain function from loss of oxygen."
" I agree. Rick is a very lucky man." Steve agreed
Jessie had just walked in as Jesslyn was watching through the window while Steve and Martinson were in looking over Rick's chart and vital signs
" Jesslyn, you and I are gonna talk about this later, go out and wait in the car."
" Aunt Jessie please I don't want to leave him..."
" Jesslyn please I will not be long. I'm only gonna find out what is going on and then I'm taking you home." Jessie ordered
Jesslyn went and waited in the car while Jessie spoke to Steve about where Rick's condition stood
" Steve, Jesslyn said something about Rick waking up and coming out of acoma?"
" He has started to Jessie, yes. We should be able to remove the ventilator soon so he could communicate and explain what went on if he can." Steve answered as he walked with Jessie to the nurse's desk
" I already know Steve and it's what I was afraid of from the moment after Lesley passed away and after we had her funeral... He's drowning Steve and I don't know that we can ultimately help him this time, he's in very deep trouble." Jessie exclaimed
Jessie finished and headed to take Jesslyn home but was not about to let go of Jesslyn sneaking out of the house when they got back to the house. " Jesslyn, talk to me please and explain to me why you lied to me about going up to bed."
" I really did go to bed..." Jesslyn started. " But after I had trouble settling down, I started to just go through a few things and I found this... Before now, I've never seen it before except once and it looked to be from Mom... Thinking again after a few minutes, Aunt Jessie I had to go back to dad. I had to try again to plead with him to come back..." Jesslyn tried to explain more.
" Jesslyn I'm not mad with you... But I am concerned about you... Next time tell me if you're gonna do something don't just randomly sneak out because that's not like you and if your mother hadn't passed she would've been scared more that you snuck out."
Jessie and Jesslyn hugged it out and Jesslyn did go to bed for real that time. Jessie however stayed up; she wanted to go try to get some sleep but instead found herself talking to Lesley in
the side room where Rick kept her urn next to one of his favorite pictures he kept from their first marriage.
" Lesley I just... I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing right now. You need to give Rick strength again because he is drowning and I'm trying my best to help him. Jesslyn you would be proud of that girl. She's done so much for herself... Sometimes I'm starting to see where she gets it from. Like mother, like daughter" Jessie raised a hand next to Lesley's urn before getting ready to head to bed
Jessie couldn't explain it but in the split moment she touched Lesley's urn she could've sworn Lesley had reached out to her and whispered something in her ear like she's always done from the first week after she had passed away Just under 2 years and a month ago
" I'm with you Jessie! Every day and I love you so much." Lesley touched Jessie slightly on the shoulder then faded out as Jessie went to bed for night
Watching over the kids sleep and watching them try their best helped Lesley to feel that she could truly rest in peace except there was that one issue that kept her from being able to fully rest in peace and it wasn't her guilt that held her back, it was Rick's guilt and his grief that kept her from being at peace as he's already once tried to hurt himself. Seeing that the kids were asleep Lesley faded out but watched Rick in the distance while he was still in the hospital but was improving to be released soon.
" Steve, I'm fine... I honestly feel fine enough that I can go home." Rick insisted
" Not so fast Rick, you are gonna be here for awhile more. And when I do release you, I want you to see Gail regularly and you are to take a sabbatical and be home with your children." Steve replied
" Steve, I don't want to change anything. I appreciate what you're trying to do but nothing is gonna change or help anything. I have to live with the fact that sadly I will be alone until I am no longer alive. Because I can't find it to be possible to move on."
" Steve could you give us alittle time there is something I think I need to drill and beat into that head of his." Jessie asked as she had left the house and went back up to the hospital to pick that bone with Rick.
" Sure, I got to finish rounds and I have a board meeting to head to. I'll come back later." Steve turned towards Rick " Remember what I said."
Steve left and Rick soon knew he was about to full on hear it from Jessie who was somewhat angry with him but understood his situation and the amount of grief that he kept inside
" Go ahead Jessie I'm sure I will deserve it." Rick laid back alittle bit more while he looked up towards the ceiling.
" I understand Rick. The pain and the loss I understand all of it. Lesley was very dear to me too but Rick, you scared those kids with what you did. I thought Jesslyn was gonna slip into a corner and shut down entirely because of the fear that she was gonna lose the only parent she has left. Those kids need you Rick no matter how hard it can seem to be or does become they need you... I know it's difficult to go on without Lesley here but Rick you have to pull it together for your son and your daughters."
" Jessie... I don't want to scare the kids or upset them, I didn't want to wind up in here it just happened. Lesley was the one that kept me balanced; she kept me grounded when I needed to be. I lost that... I lost my best friend, my companion... My stubborn little bug." Rick tried to hold back the tears that threatened to slide
" Lesley may have lost her battle with the cancer Rick…. but she hasn't lost herself by any means, and she I guarantee you is here with you right now trying to help you believe that. She could never truly leave us because the legacy and the memories she left behind with us is what keeps her alive. You need to cherish those memories Rick. Cherish the legacy that girl has left for you and especially for those kids... I'm gonna go talk with Steve about you going home. You get some sleep and think about what I've said to you" Jessie walked away to go find Steve while Rick tried to do just that and tried to rest.
Rick knew Jessie was right and he knew he needed to cherish Lesley's memory and her legacy but that also didn't change that she was gone and was never gonna come back and the thought that he could move on to find someone else only added fuel to the fire as he kept going enough to avoid from letting that possibility from ever coming into light
" Jessie is right Rick you know… I can't rewind time to where I can be with you again Rick but l'm still with you… l'm living in the kids…. You have to let me go Rick, put the burden and the guilt behind you where you can heal and l can rest in peace knowing that you're okay." Lesley stood at Rick's bedside pleading with him to let go and find his strength to heal.
After another 4 weeks in the hospital, Rick was finally released in time to take the last 2 weeks to rest before Jesslyn and Genesis's graduation that was coming up very soon. Jessie had just checked out and ended her shift when she took a call from Rick. " Rick l understand you're frustrated but getting upset isn't gonna change how the situation is. Look l'm leaving the hospital right now to stop by before l head home and l will help you with a few things." Jessie answered and hung up to leave and stop by the Webber home.
" Riley come on, you need to pick up in your room before you head off with your friends." Rick asked again while Riley was playing his game.
" l know dad… l'm just trying to finish this round it's alittle tough… is Aunt Jessie coming by?" Riley asked as he was finishing his game.
" Yeah and she and the girls are gonna get some stuff set for the week after next for when they graduate school." Rick answered as Jessie pulled up outside.
" l wish Mom was gonna be there with us when they graduate… almost nothing is fun without having mom with us" Riley looked down at his lap on the couch. " Believe me buddy I know but we need to remember something about your mother. She knew how to keep an eye on us without actually watching us. She did it with me when we were at the hospital quite often. Ironically I always wished that she would stop with it because there were a few things like cases that l wanted to give to another doctor and before l had the chance to do it your mom would be paging me or ringing me in my office to pick that bone with me. I never figured out how she would know what I was gonna do but she did. Another thing we can remind ourselves is that while she isn't physically with us, she's still here… just in another way." Rick replied hoping to comfort Riley.
Rick didn't know it at that second, but Jessie was watching what he was saying to Riley and was proud of him for how he responded to how upset Riley was under the circumstances with Lesley not being there. " l couldn't have said that better than you Rick. you did good just now." Jessie said with a smile.
" Oh Jessie that was nothing l just did the same my father did with me when my mother had passed." Rick replied and then added later " l can't believe that in just a few short weeks both my girls are gonna be graduates from school… They've grown up so much over the years."
" Yes they have…. And that's okay Rick it means that you and Lesley both have raised them well and right. Don't ever mistaken how well you both have raised those girls. And the things that Jesslyn has accomplished before getting into high school, Lesley would've been proud."
" I remember when we found out she was pregnant… that evening I had surprised her with dinner home but led her to think I was taking her out to Dino's for her birthday. By that time she was still having to get around in her chair but was making tremendous progress with her physical therapy that she was able to use a cane every now and then. Lesley was so thrilled to hear it when Alan called and at first l thought she was gonna tell me that she was sick or something but when that smile of hers spread across her face after about half a minute... That is a look l will never forget." Rick smiled while reflecting back to another one of his favorite memories
~~
" Alice thank you for your secretive help in helping me to pull this off for Lesley… I told her I was gonna take her to Dino's but l did that as a cover because it's her birthday tomorrow. " Rick said with a huge smile.
" lt was my pleasure Dr. Webber l am glad to help you with this." Alice said with a smile before finishing up and leaving out the back before Lesley came home believing she would need to change.
Lesley came in about 15minutes after Alice left and Rick was upstairs briefly to shower and get himself together and was back down within 5minutes before she came home.. As Lesley had came in granted she wasn't feeling good, she laid her coat on the counter only to look up after taking off her shoes and saw that Rick had the good china out and a bottle of champagne out on the chill. Standing on the bottom step, Rick stood in silence to watch Lesley as she was trying to piece together what was really going on and later she saw Rick standing there and immediately he saw the hidden few tears that she had while she was trying to think of what to say " This is the second time today that I think l had you surprised and lost for words." Rick stepped close to help Lesley stand and he then gave her a kiss
" How…. I… can't… how did you fi-find the time to do all of this?" Lesley looked up at Rick completely lost for words.
" Lesley anytime that there's an opportunity for me to surprise or do something for you you know l'm gonna take it… there is not one thing that l wouldn't do for my beautiful wife." Rick kissed Lesley again and added " Happy birthday sweetheart."
" I love you Rick so much…." Lesley kissed Rick before she started to feel nauseous again.
~~
Rick and Jessie talked for another hour or so before she headed home for the night and Rick later tucked in Riley when it came time to put Riley to bed and after that Rick check in on Genesis who was sound asleep and Jesslyn was still at work so he moved on to head to bed like usual only he thought maybe he should try to move back to into the main bedroom but felt that he still couldn't so he went to where he's been sleeping for the last 2 years and a month.
" lt doesn't matter how much l try Lesley l still can't manage to go back into our bedroom when going to bed at night. l miss you so much it just tears me apart to have to go on without you." Rick talked to Lesley for about 15minutes and then went to bed for the night hoping to get a good night's sleep while he had a chance.
Rick woke up the following morning to take care of a few things after he spent the morning as he's always done with Lesley on the porch and later he picked up around the house so he could later head out for his daily session with Gail but took Riley with him this time so Riley could open up to his feelings as well as Rick because while he seemed to be handling things well mentally, emotionally could be a different story and Rick knew that better than anyone. And he was gonna be damned before he was gonna allow any of his children suffer anymore than they've had too with their mother's unfortunate and sad passing.
" lt's good you came to see me today Rick… how are you doing since you've gone back home… you look better than you were while you were here as a patient last." Gail asked carefully
" l'm doing okay…. l'm trying my best not allow my emotions affect the things I do and thinking more of what Jessie said to me before I was released it made sense for me to start trying to get through with what Lesley had to go through and what she couldn't make through. So l sat up last night thinking about and just sitting with Lesley as always and at one point before going to bed I looked up and Lesley was there just watching or at least I felt that she was. Sometimes I could swear that she would be whispering in my ear reminding me that she's watching and that she's there… sometimes I feel like that's adding more to the pain that she's not here because l want her back to where she belongs, where she should be here with us and she's not and it kills me that she isn't here to celebrate or enjoy the good times like the end of this week, the girls are graduating this week from high school they're about to accept their diplomas and Lesley isn't gonna be there to see it she won't get to enjoy that with us like she should be."
" Rick she will be there, maybe not in the way we would like her to be but she will be there. Lesley is always gonna be following you wherever you go whatever you do." Gail replied and turned towards Riley who sat quietly but seemed to be somewhere else. " Riley?" Gail spoke up.
" Yes?" Riley said quickly as he looked up towards Gail
" How have you been learning to cope and adapt with your mom's passing?" Gail asked and approached the subject of Lesley's death and her absence to Riley.
" l've been trying… it does get tough sometimes like when I think about birthdays and holidays like Christmas…. That was always her favorite time of the year that and thanksgiving. Every year l always try to pretend like it's never changed because it helps keep in mind that she's still with me and she's never truly left me." Riley answered to Rick's surprised look " and how do you particularly feel when any of the birthdays like yours, or both of your sisters' birthday come?"
" honestly? l feel lousy half the time like l would rather not care about it when our birthdays come around... " Riley replied and saw how surprised Rick was looking at him " Buddy why do you feel that way? ls it because your mother isn't there to celebrate it with us?" Rick asked
Riley heard Rick's question and Gail observed that Riley started to then become quiet where he started to shut down from really talking much, noticing this quickly, Gail asked for Rick to step out so she could talk to Riley and see if that was more comfortable for Riley to open up about his feelings and his emotions. " Riley take your time about talking about how you feel or about what is affecting you… there's no wrong or right way when coming to see me for a session l'm only here to listen and to look for a way to help you like l help your dad and your sisters."
" Dad asked if it was because my mom isn't around to have fun like she used to. l hate thinking to have fun because she isn't here… she can't be there….. We used to go to places like the park, or the beach. l almost don't wanna do any of that because it would be without my mom." Riley expressed while trying to keep it straight.
" Riley we all would like it better if we were able to have your mother here with us… It's okay to show or give into your feelings about things just like it's okay to cry when we miss the ones we love most. I've cried at times from missing someone… Jessie has too. You know we both miss your mother very much she was a special friend to us over the years that she worked here with us. During her time that she even came to have sessions, she came more to talk about you and your sisters more than anything else." Gail moved to sit beside Riley while also reaching for the tissue box from her desk side.
" Sometimes, l worry more about Dad than l worry about myself or my sisters… he keeps to himself alot and he also doesn't sleep very much if at all. Sometimes l hear him talking at night as if he's talking to someone but no one else is in the other room with him." Riley started to talk alittle bit but tried to talk more about how Rick was managing than himself which had Gail concerned about his emotional state and his mental health.
" Riley I want to focus on how you've been trying to cope with things. How you have managed to work through in your own process with your mom's death. We can talk about your dad. That's fine too but for the moment I want to take the time to talk mostly about you and how you're doing." Gail expressed and added " It's okay to say what you feel, remember there's no right or wrong way with this and anything you say here I can't tell anyone outside these walls without your knowledge. l won't even be allowed to tell your dad unless you say it's okay."
Riley and Gail spent about an hour talking about things and how he was doing with everything after Lesley had passed away. Gail later asked Rick to come back in after her and Riley finished so she could talk to him and later she gave him a few pointers that he could try to help Riley with as well as maybe even himself to cope with their loss. Rick however had more trouble then Gail thought especially as she hasn't forgotten that just a short few weeks ago Rick was released from the hospital as a patient after he had to recover from a shot to the head.
" Gail, thank you for your help today. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it…. Riley has somewhat closed himself off almost similar and the way Jesslyn had only he occasionally opens up for me or Jessie. And sometimes he opened up for Alice."
" Sometimes kids react differently to these things. Grief affects us all differently. The hope I would like to see is for you and the kids to continue with coming for sessions and for you to start to heal."
" Gail the trouble that I have with that is, I don't know that I can heal… anytime I were to think about something like going forward or I would think about maybe going back to practicing full time with patients again, I think of Lesley and what she doesn't get to do anymore and it kills
me.. I think of what she and I always used to do and it breaks my heart all over again because I then go right back to her last moment and how she had looked up at me. She had her hand right here and just after that she just… she just died in my arms."
" Lesley never had anything that she was gonna regret when it came about you, everything she ever discussed with me she always talked about you and how you made sure she was gonna be okay. Even before she learned that the cancer was terminal she had on a few occasions said that she was scared that she would have to face that she wouldn't get to continue the things she would do most of all time with the most important thing to her heart. You and the children…"
" I regret so much from the past but the biggest regret I have is sending our kids to stay somewhere when they should've been kept home to spend the time that they should've had left with their mother. Sure Lesley was adamant to Audrey that she and Steve take the kids but I should've pushed to keep them home." Rick exclaimed when Riley chimed in to Rick's surprise " Dad when Aunt Jessie was getting stuff together and she let me Genesis and Jesslyn to see mom, I was okay with leaving the house…"
Rick felt his heart drop hearing what Riley had just said when Gail asked him why he was okay with leaving the house " I was okay with it because I knew Mommy was okay.. and I knew she would've felt better that the memories I had were of the times before she got real sick.. I didn't want to have to remember seeing my mom that way if I had stayed home.."
" Your mother would've been very proud of you Riley not just because you've done so well in school but because you're growing up to be a good young man." Rick said with a quick smile before he and Gail wrapped up their session for the day and he took Riley home.
Over the next couple of weeks, Genesis and Jesslyn started to get things for their last week of their senior year together as graduation was just one week away. Rick started to have alittle trouble with it all though because while he had enough and he felt like everything else that Lesley was cheated of, he knew he was gonna have to face that both of the girls were grown up and now they were about to graduate high school.
" Dad, we'll see you later after school." Jesslyn gave a hug as usual before leaving.
" Girls you have a decent day and I'll be home later today."
" We will tomorrow is our last day before we're finished and than next week is graduation ."
Genesis and Jesslyn left for their final full day of school and later Rick had waited for when they got home so he could give them what Lesley had saved for them when they were to graduate high school.
" Dad… are you alright?"