Sincerity

Once she has gotten far enough away from Castle Wolffort, Frederica finds a quiet little stretch of woods in which to rest, and she slowly sits down, buries her face in her hands, and weeps.

She hates it. She hates crying like this; she can always hear Erika sneering at her, "You're so fragile. It must be that tainted blood in your veins, that makes you so weak," but she can't help it.

Frederica had trusted him. She'd thought Serenoa had been better than that. But now, she thinks, what had she really expected? Maybe she'd have jumped into the arms of anyone who'd shown her a bit of attention. She really can't believe she'd been so naïve.

But Serenoa had always been so honest, so dedicated. She truly believes that he thinks he's doing the right thing, by following Roland's suggestion to submit to Hyzante. And, in a way, that makes it even worse.

If he'd truly done it for some kind of political leverage, for the sheer selfish desire to gain something for himself, it would be so much easier to hate him for it. And there's a small part of Frederica, deep down, that very desperately wishes she could hate him. But she can't, because she knows that Serenoa really does think that this outcome will be worth it.

That's why she fell in in love with him, after all, because Serenoa always has to see the best in every situation, always has to make what he's doing sound genuinely right.

And so she can't make herself hate him, and Frederica kind of hates herself for it.

But. But.

She has a plan. A plan she'll stick to no matter what. Even if it takes years, decades, her entire life. She'll save the Roselle if no one else will.

And so, Frederica stands up, sniffles one last time, and wipes her eyes before resolutely walking away.

She'll turn her eyes forward, even if it means turning her back on the man who still has a small grasp on her heart, and probably will forever.

It's the only way to make any of this mean anything, and Frederica has to cling to that thought, no matter what.

It has to mean something. It has to. And she'll make sure that it does, someday.