Wanted to have this up and completed by Stephanie's birthday, but my energy levels didn't allow it. So, here's part one of two of a little Plum BDAY chaos. Let me know your thoughts.

Disclaimer: The Plum universe belongs to JE. Typos are my mine.

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?"

When I heard the call to 911 over the scanner, my mouth went dry. Knowing that phone call came from Grovers Mill instilled added apprehension in me. Normally, we don't monitor calls from such an agrarian land but this morning the whereabouts of Bomber put her in the area. An emergency alert going out minutes after her trackers put her on that side of Mercer County couldn't be a coincidence. Not when Bomber's in the mix.

"Uh, yes, my name is Stephanie Plum. I'm in Grovers Mill, right off Route 1." Bomber gave some quick pertinent details, like what exit was the closest to her location off Route 1.

"What's your emergency?" The dispatcher asked yet again, her fingers hitting keys in the background as she typed.

"I need medical and police." Bomber said succinctly, her attention obviously focused somewhere else. "Please send female first responders." Bomber added after a slight pause.

My eyes flicked to my partner. Despite Hal's eyes staying glued to the monitors, I still caught his scrunched up expression. Horrible images flashed through my mind as I temporarily tuned out the rest of the call, frantically trying to wipe the gory visuals from my mind. Bomber requesting females plunged me into a dark place, inevitably leading me to wonder if she'd been attacked in a sexual manner.

"Attention all patrol units…" I found my voice after several seconds, snapping myself out of the disturbing visual my mind couldn't help but paint in vivid detail.

Bomber has to be okay. Focusing on my task, I relayed the information. Lester and Ram would be the closest unit to assist.

"ETA six minutes." Lester informed, indicating that he was about to break several traffic laws because his ETA should be closer to ten minutes.

"Copy that." I replied instead.

"Binkie?" Hal called to me, a reminder that I still had to send out a text alert to all Rangemen, Bossman included.

S&R

Stephanie's POV

When I woke up this morning I was honestly in a good mood. Usually, I need a shower, some caffeine and sugary dough to make me feel somewhat human and awake. From the moment I opened my eyes I was greeted with a rare burst of energy. I felt good. Very good. I decided I was going to be very productive, effectively taking advantage of my sudden feel good mood to get lots done today.

Taking into account Ranger's plea for me to ask Rangeman for assistance while he's in Miami, I did just that. I'm after Roger Leacock. He's a medium bond. That coupled with the violent nature of his crime is enough to make me wary. There's a huge probability given my track record that Leacock will try to shoot me. Since I don't want to get shot, especially today of all days, I figured it'd be a good idea to have a partner that's an excellent shot. Leacock won't know what hit him! I'm bringing him in one way or another. Leacock will be back in the system before lunchtime.

At least that was my self imposed goal.

"So, who are we after?" Woody asked as I pulled out of the Rangeman underground garage.

"Roger Leacock." I handed him my FTA's file just before I drove down Haywood.

"Leacock?" Woody asked as he flipped through the file.

"Mmhmm." I acknowledged his silent question, forging on to give him the details and my research on our less than twenty minute drive to Grovers Mill.

The moment I drove off Route 1 and into Grovers Mill, I felt like I'd stepped into a different time period. Slowly passing several historic buildings reminded me of how untouched by modern times certain parts of Jersey can look and feel.

The moment I pulled up to Leacock's residence, a converted barn near the pond, my Spidey Sense went on full alert. The tingle on the back of neck was in full swing. Something wasn't right.

As soon as Woody and I exited my SUV, my stomach clenched at hearing a blood curling scream.

"Here." Woody handed me a Baby Glock, indicating that I should follow behind him.

Together, we rounded the side of the building that faces the pond.

Neither of us was prepared for the scene we stumbled into.

"Help!" Leacock wailed, his frantic green eyes pleading with my wide-eyed blue ones. "She cut it off!"

"Cut what off?" I asked, noting that Leacok's callused hands were firmly clasped against his groin. I didn't miss the fact that his pants were pooled around his ankles, nor the blood trickling down his hairy thighs.

"She cut it off!" Woody blurted out, sounding weird.

Chancing a side glance at him, I noted how pale he looked. Oh crap! I know that look. Woody's about to pass out.

"Hey…" I called to my Merry Man partner, hoping to get through to him before he blacked out.

Too late. Woody's look of horror only faded when he slumped forward, slamming his head against the hood of a rusted Buick on his way down.

Oh great. My Merry Man knocked himself out after fainting. My FTA got his salami sliced off. On top of it all, there's an unknown female entity eyeing me with crazy eyes as she wields a bloody knife in one hand and what I assume is Leacock's chopped off member in the other.

Happy freaking Birthday to me!

All I wanted was to spend the morning going after my only FTA, hopefully make some money and buy myself a day old cake to close off my turning one year older.

Why me?!