Of course when she arrived at school the next day she found that he had convinced, perhaps threatened, the guy who sat next to her to trade desks. He sat there with a smile on his face as she sat down next to him. She tried her best to ignore him as class started but of course a small triangle of paper hit her desk. Rei turned her gaze to him, and his eyes were focused up at the front of the room. She rolled her eyes, opening the note with a minor bit of hesitation. 'So are you ready to talk to me yet?' Rei rolled her eyes, quickly scribbling down the word no and throwing it back over to his desk. Not long after another piece of paper hit her desk, she merely stuck it in her pocket. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of reading them.
He continued throwing notes at her, which grew more and more annoying. What pissed her off more was his stupid little smile, he was enjoying this far too much and it bothered her. After the twelfth note hit her desk she reached her limit and finally wrote a second note, without reading any of his. 'I swear if you pass me one more note I'm going to kick you.' flicking it over to his desk, to her annoyance she heard him chuckle ever so quietly from next to her. After a moment two notes hit her desk. He was a cheeky little fuck, he also knew her well enough to know she'd be curious as to what he was saying in all the notes he was passing.
She asked the teacher if she could be excused about five minutes before their lunch break. She made good on her threat, kicking him in the shin before quickly making her way out of the classroom and outside. She found herself in desperate need of a cigarette, and to be away from Kazutora. She searched around for the pack in her van and once she found it lit up the cigarette, taking a few drags off of it before she let her curious nature get the better of her. 'Don't make this harder than it has to be, I just wanna talk.' 'I'll keep throwing these at you until you respond.' 'I know you're eventually going to open these. You're probably going to run off to read them, it's cute when you're stubborn.' 'that little frown you have when I throw these is cute too.' 'I missed you, I know you missed me too even if you won't admit it.' 'You know Baji missed you too, I can understand ignoring me but him too?' 'I wasn't kidding when I said you were constantly on my mind while I was gone.' 'Remember when you used to sneak one of us into your room because you slept better with someone there?' 'Maybe we can do that again sometime. I doubt the men you sleep with stick around to hold you.' 'You are so beautiful, you know that right?' 'I can tell you're gonna crack soon and pass me a note' 'Damn even your threats are cute I knew you'd crack.' 'you should save my number, if you ever need me I'll come to you just like I used to.' Rei snubbed out her cigarette and lit another, Kazutora was persistent she would give him that much. He also knew exactly how to press her buttons and how she'd react which was frustrating. She stared at the note where he'd written his number, deciding to save it. Rei knew she shouldn't, but she also knew that if push came to shove and she was ever in trouble he would show up.
Rei practically jumped out of her skin when there was a loud knock from her passenger side window, of course who else but Kazutora was standing there stupid smile plastered on his face. She groaned in aggravation, leaning over to crack the window a bit. "You know this is like some stalker shit." She said fixing him with the flattest most annoyed look she could muster. He of course was still smiling, she hated that smile it was so fake never quite reaching his eyes. "I wouldn't have to stalk you if you didn't run away." He said and she rolled her eyes, of course being the guy he was he pulled her door open, moving to sit in the passenger seat. Anxiety filled her as he sat back, pulling out a cigarette of his own and lighting it. "So you read them all yet?" He asked and she rolled her eyes at the inquiry, she hated that he knew damn well that she had. "Why are you so insistent upon harassing me?" He took a long drag off his cigarette and blew out the smoke, he was enjoying this far too much. It was irritating the shit out of her. "Because I want things to go back to how they were." He sounded so serious, but she couldn't help but laugh a little bit at the statement. Leaning her back against the wall of the van she watched him as he smoked his cigarette. "Why would I let you back in? You or Baji? What would be the point? Things can't just go back to how they were." The way he was watching her made her uncomfortable and she turned to look away from him. Being around him was so unnerving, at least when she saw Baji he seemed different but not necessarily in a bad way. He got into a few fights she'd heard about, they seemed justified to her though with what she'd heard about them. But Kazutora…he was probably the most broken of the three of them, not surprising though considering he had killed someone. His eyes were entirely blank and unreadable to her now. "Because we all used to be so close once." He took another drag off his cigarette and crushed it out, moving to rest his arms on her center console bringing him far too close for comfort. She moved so that she could lean back against the door of the car, which of course gave her nowhere else to look but directly at him. "That was a whole different life Kazutora. I'm not the same person I used to be. You're….you're not the Kazutora I lost either. You might look like him but you aren't him." She opened up her door moving to step out of the van, he remained where he was for a moment watching her carefully. Seemingly analyzing her words before he responded to them, he tilted his head ever so slightly and the small bell on his eating jingles slightly. "How am I different?" He asked and she sighed, he was asking too many damn questions, and she was answering them like an idiot. She didn't know why, no matter how much she explained he clearly wasn't getting it. "You're…cold the words come out right but the inflection in them is blank. Your eyes are the same, you smile at me and there's no emotion there. You hurt to look at, to be near, it's like I'm staring at a stranger who's trying to imitate the person my friend was. It's like I'm staring at a ghost, I really just wish you'd leave me alone." Every single word she said was true, he wasn't Kazutora anymore. It hurt to say it nonetheless, she knew that there was the possibility that he was in there somewhere. But when she couldn't stand to even look at him, there was no way she could help him. Even now that blank look was still there, and she crossed her arms in front of herself averting her gaze from him. "I can't just leave you alone." She heard the van door open and close as he stepped out, coming around the front of the vehicle and into her line of sight. She closed the door she'd left open to speak to him once she made sure she had locked it. In the moment she turned back around, his hands came to wrap around her waist and he pulled her close. She hadn't even realized how close he had gotten to her so quickly. "Don't just turn your back on me Rei." She could feel the words reverberate through his chest.
It felt as though her heart stopped for a moment, like the world had just fallen right out from under her feet. Every single aspect of him invaded her senses all at once, like a tidal wave. How warm he was, how he still smelled of coffee, cigarettes, and vanilla, that she still fit against him just as perfectly as she had years ago. Rei was entirely frozen, she didn't know how long they stood like that before he spoke. "I might be different in a lot of ways, and you are too. But you can't tell me that when I hold you like this it's like nothing has changed." He was right, Rei hated that he was right but she knew the second he pulled away from her he'd be a stranger once again. That something that felt so nice in the moment it was happening was going to hurt so badly the second it was over. Her heart beat hard against her chest, she felt her eyes prick with tears that she absolutely refused to cry. She took a moment to collect herself before she spoke, her voice wavered ever the slightest bit regardless. "I should have turned my back on you a long time ago. If you care about me at all, stop haunting me. This is just…cruel." She hated how weakly her voice came out, that even as she spoke the words her hands held his shirt in her grasp. She wanted to run away, she was still going to have to sit next to him for the rest of the day. Rei didn't know how she was supposed to be able to do that.
She forced her hands to drop their grip on him, she let herself fall back emotionally. Throwing up her walls in order to protect the version of her that was emotionally devastated. The part of her that loved him and wanted nothing more than to let him back in. He let her go and she moved away from him quickly, if he said anything to her she didn't hear it. There was a dull roar in her ears like she was underwater, everything suddenly felt so muted.
She didn't even remember walking into class and sitting at her desk, but she found herself staring blankly ahead as the teacher continued with the lesson. Occasionally taking notes, she ignored the little glimpses she would get of yellow and black hair from her peripheral. If she looked at him there was a possibility she would crack, so she kept her gaze focused ahead. It felt as though time both went unbearably slow and also so fast that when she walked towards the exit to leave she felt disoriented. The chatter of people around her was indecipherable to her, all droning into each other in a hum.
It was only once she had driven for a bit that she realized how very quiet it was, and that she didn't know where she was going. Rei sent out a text, a few texts, she needed distraction. Cranking up her music she drove, trying her best to keep her mind entirely blank. She made it to her first stop, the older man getting into her van and handing her the bag she had asked for. "Hey I'll cut down the price if we can have a bit of fun together again?" She didn't remember saying yes, but eventually he was exiting her van and she was pulling up her panties underneath her school uniform skirt.
She got back to driving, eventually she noticed the lights of the cars around her had tracers and seemed brighter than usual and she realized she was fucked up. She couldn't even remember what she had taken, just that she had gotten it for basically nothing. Then there was a house, and then another house, this time she went inside the man leading her into his office. The house was brightly lit, it kind of hurt her head.
She found herself laid across a desk, staring at what she thought was some kind of porn. But she quickly came to realize it was a mirror, she hardly recognized herself. Silver hair was down and messy, the face of the man behind her said he was clearly enjoying himself. While the look on her face said the same she couldn't actually feel much of anything.
The man let her take a shower, she didn't know why he'd insisted upon it so heavily. It was only once she was in the bathroom standing in front of the mirror that she realized why. There were small thin cuts all across her chest, almost as if she'd been scratched by a cat. There were bites that looked red and raw patterned across her neck. Somehow none of it hurt, even under the scalding water of the shower.
Rei didn't know how long she drove around, or even where she'd gone, and who she'd seen there. But suddenly she came back to her senses, standing in a convenience store. She was holding first aid supplies and energy drinks, standing in the aisle like a lost child. She shook off her disorientation, moving to pay for her items. It was only once she moved that she realized why she'd snapped back into it; there stood Baji just at the end of the aisle she stood in. She hoped he hadn't noticed her, or that she hadn't said anything to him while she was out of sorts. She made her way to the counter to pay, asking the cashier for a pack of menthol cigarettes. The older woman looked at her with sad eyes as she gave her the items she'd paid for. The woman bid her a safe night, and Rei responded in kind. She got just outside of the door and unwrapped her pack, pulling a cigarette out and lighting it before making her way to her van, opening up the back and sitting just inside the doors.
The sound of chatter caught her attention, a group of guys stood around motorcycles talking clearly shooting the breeze. One of them noticed her staring and gave her a friendly wave, one which she returned without even thinking about it. Rei pulled out her phone, opening her camera in order to look at herself. Her pupils were blown out, clearly she had hit her peak a while ago as she felt mostly fine but definitely not normal. What really bothered her though was the very clear handprint she could see around her neck, she wondered how battered the rest of her body was. Clearly even as inebriated as she was she had known well enough she was going to need medical supplies. She heard someone clear their throat from next to her and her eyes lazily slid over to the person who was smiling at her. "Hey are you alright?" She processed the words for a moment, he had nice eyes, a light blue green color and blonde hair. "Yeah, I'm good, just feeling a bit…out of it." She smiled a bit, hoping to reassure the stranger that she was entirely fine. She could only imagine how she might look from his perspective. Judging by the look on his face it was hard to tell, his body language read as open and relaxed though. "Looks like you had a long night, you get into a fight or something?" She shrugged, moving her gaze from him for a moment, for all she knew she had very well gotten into a fight and not remembered it. "Uh…I think the or something would be applicable here." He nodded, and before he could say anything else she heard someone call out presumably for him. "Chifuyu stop flirting!" He smiled at her, waving off the words without a response of his own. "You have somewhere to stay?" He asked and Rei took a moment's pause, was there a good way to tell her this was her place to stay? No, there was no good way to say that at all. "Oh yeah totally fine, uh I appreciate the concern though." She felt as though he saw right through her, though if he did he didn't press the matter further. "If you're out of it do you want a ride to wherever you're going? You probably shouldn't be driving." Oh this was not something she was prepared for at all, and the worst was yet to come as she heard his name get called out again by a voice she recognized. "Chifuyu what the hell are you doing?" Looking over she noticed Baji, who if he hadn't noticed her in the store he certainly did now. Rei wanted to disappear at that very moment, she wondered if he would tell Kazutora he saw her. She hoped not. "Hey just talking to, uh sorry what did you say your name was again?" He asked and she paused, for a moment there was not a single doubt in her mind Baji knew exactly who the fuck she was. There was no point in lying about it. "Hasegawa Rei." She said keeping her eyes fixed on Chifuyu, if Baji had ignored her existence for four years she could ignore him for a few minutes. No sweat. "Yeah I just wanted to make sure she was alright, offered her a ride to wherever she was going." He explained, she couldn't help but glance at Baji who was looking between her and Chifuyu as though he was attempting to decide who to address. "Oh no I am totally fine, I don't need a ride I can just uhm…call my friend to come get me. Yeah I just err don't exactly know where I am." She laughed awkwardly trying to be as relaxed about the situation as she possibly could be. The two men looked at each other and to her surprise Baji waved Chifuyu away, oh this was exactly what she'd been dreading. She did not have the mental fortitude to deal with him right now. "You aren't too far away from school, it's about a ten minute drive from here." He seemed to be feeling just as awkward about this situation as she was. They hadn't spoken in so long, now that she was seeing him outside of school he really did look a lot different now, his features were sharper than she remembered them being. His eyes were just the same though burning into her with a thousand questions, with a familiar worry. "Oh uh thanks, I appreciate it." Fuck she hated this, at least it was Baji he still at least in some way resembled the person she had been friends with once. He looked like he had more he wanted to say, he had clearly noticed her dishevelment not unlike Chifuyu. "Yeah don't mention it….stay safe Rei, don't do anything I wouldn't do." God that was nostalgic as fuck and before she could stop herself she responded as she would have normally. At least what was considered normal six years ago. "Let's be real here Kei, I'm far better behaved than you." She realized what she'd said and had to resist the urge to smack herself. Instead she watched the surprise cross his face only to watch it disappear within the same instant. "Yeah, you might be right about that. See ya around chickadee" His use of his old nickname for her made her heart beat a bit harder as he made his way away from her. She watched as he and Chifuyu as well as the rest of their group climbed onto their bikes. Starting them up and zipping off into the night, Chifuyu gave her a wave as he drove past her which she returned. It was only once they were gone, the taillights of their bikes just barely perceptible in the distance that she finally moved. Grabbing her bags and tossing them into the back before she closed it up, making her way to the driver seat. She needed to find a truck stop shower area, she needed a mirror in order to be able to better assess the damage she'd received throughout her blacked out night.
It thankfully didn't take long to find one with the help of her GPS, Baji had in fact been correct that she was close to their school so she went in the opposite direction. Arriving and collecting her soaps from the back, her school uniform that she needed to try to clean, and her first aid supplies. She paid the attendant the five dollar fee for the use of the shower bathroom combo and got the key from him.
Once she was safely on the other side of the locked door she moved to look in the mirror. She was in clothes she didn't even recognize as being her own. The dress she was wearing was pretty at least, solid black and very tight fitting. She wondered who exactly had given this to her, and why. She shucked off the dress unsurprised to find herself entirely naked underneath. Looking in the mirror though she was an absolute mess. It was no surprise Chifuyu had approached to ask if she was ok. The handprint shaped bruise on her throat, her hair was put up in a bun on top of her head which revealed a number of bite marks and hickeys, patterned across her skin all the way down to her breasts, which made her chest look some kind of sadistic tic-tac-toe board. The more she looked the more injuries she seemed to find. She sighed knowing the task ahead was going to be a long one, she should probably avoid going to school tomorrow as well.
Once Rei had cleaned her uniform, herself and patched up all the injuries she inspected herself one more time in the mirrors. She looked more herself now, though a rather battered and weathered version. She adjusted her black sweatpants and made her way out of the bathroom with all her items and back to her van, deciding this was as good a place as any to be parked for what time remained in the night, being nearly 3am. She put all her stuff away and set to fixing up her bed space at least a moderate amount, it was only now that she was clean that she realized the van reeked of sex, weed, and cigarette smoke. She'd have to try and clean it tomorrow. Once she finally laid down she crashed hard, her sleep blessedly dreamless.