PS: This doesn't follow canon, so both Carter's and Abby's personality may be different from the show.
Abby gently stroked her daughter's hair and smiled. She watched John do the same beside her. Julia's birth took almost all night, but she couldn't help but think seeing her face and holding her made everything worth.
"She's so beautiful."
"I know." He couldn't stop looking at Julia. "I love her so much already."
"Me too."
"You were so great at it. I'm so proud of you."
"I had to be, after staying up all night waiting for her to arrive."
"Yeah, I can imagine it. Do you want to sleep a little? You must be tired."
"I don't think I can, honestly. The nurse will come to help me breastfeed Julia. It's so ironic because I help moms with this and now I'm being helped, though I know how it works."
"Well, you're a mother now." John stroked their daughter's black hair.
"Do you want to hold her?"
"I do." He picked her up from Abby's arms and sat down on a chair next to her bed. He couldn't help but smile when Julia curled her tiny hand around his finger and looked at him intently. "Hey, sweetie. It's daddy."
"It seems like she knows who you are."
"She does." John's smile got wider when she gave a very subtle smile and then yawned.
"Hi." A nurse softly knocked on the door and quietly walked in. "How are things over here with this family?"
"They are great." Abby looked from the nurse to John and Julia.
"A little father-daughter bonding moment." The nurse smiled. "I'm afraid we're going to interrupt it for a moment. It's time to feed her."
"Okay." John stood up and placed her back in Abby's arms, sitting next to his wife on the bed.
Abby followed the nurse's instructions very carefully, but she still wasn't prepared to feeling her daughter being breastfed. She thought it was a great building that connection with Julia, but it also hurt in the beginning and that made her shift uncomfortably in her bed.
"Is everything okay?" John asked in a worried tone when he noticed what was going on.
"Yeah. It's just something new for me."
"You're doing great, Abby." The nurse said. "Some newly moms have trouble with this part, so it's always good when an immediate connection is established."
"It's so different being an OB nurse and being on the other side."
"Definitely. I've been through it twice and both were completely different experiences."
"Twice? You seem so young."
"I was nineteen when I gave birth to my first child. My second one came a few years later, after a few attempts."
"It's a blessing when it's planned." Abby looked at John, who had let a noise that sounded like a laughter. "What?"
"Blessing?"
"Well…"
"Was Julia planned? It's a beautiful name, by the way."
"Thank you."Abby smiled and looked down at Julia.
"Not really, to be honest." John spoke and looked at the small bonding moment his wife and his daughter were having with a smile. "Abby has bipolar mother and brother, so it's always been a concern for her to have children and pass it on. So we kind of didn't touch the baby subject."
"Exactly. But it still happened, and we decided to keep it and deal with whichever the outcome was."
"Abby doesn't have it, so there's a low chance Julia will get it."
"But it still need to be careful about it." Abby looked at the nurse. "I think she's already full."
"Great, so it's time to make her burp and rock her to sleep."
"Alright." She placed Julia against her right shoulder and slaps tapped her very lightly.
John's pager started bleeping and he quickly grabbed it, dropping his head in frustration. "It's from the ER, I have to go back to work. Will you be okay alone for a while?"
"Sure." Abby looked at him with a smile.
"I'll be back when my shift is over." He kissed her briefly and then kissed his daughter's head.
"We'll be here."
.
Abby and Julia were discharged a couple of days. John went to get them and the little family went to the ER floor together.
"They are here!" Susan announced when she saw them walking towards the reception desk and all the doctors and nurses who were nearby gathered together to see the baby. She bent down and picked a medium sized package under the counter.
"She's so beautiful!" Neela exclaimed as she got near them. "Congratulations."
"Thank you." Abby smiled at her.
"Carter, she looks just like you."
"It's his perfect replica." She said, pretending to be annoyed. "I'm the one who had to carry her for nine months only for her to look like her father."
"Don't be upset." John smiled at her. "Maybe the next one will look like you."
"Next one? Are you talking about a second child already?"
"Definitely not." Abby shook her head. "What is this?"
"This is just a small present I got for…"
"Julia. Julia Carter."
"Julia Lockhart Carter."
"Fine." He turned to Susan and grabbed the present over the counter. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. So are you leaving?"
"Yeah, I'm going to take a few days off. You got things under control here?"
"Sure. We got this. Go spend some time with your daughter."
"I will. See you in a few days."
.
Abby held the front door from their apartment for John, who was holding Julia in his arms. She was still sleeping heavily.
"She's heavy sleeper." She checked on the baby. "It doesn't seem like she will have trouble sleeping at night soon."
"Well, it will be just a temporary situation. We can handle that."
"I know. I shouldn't complain about this."
"We can do this. I'll help you with everything I can."
"I'm taking Julia to her bedroom. Do you need anything?"
"To sleep." Abby smiled. "I should take these opportunities to get some rest before she wakes up again."
"So go do that. I'll join you very soon."
"Okay."
John walked into the bedroom with light yellow painted walls and amazing furniture. He made sure he got the best ones for his daughter. The white curtains were close, giving the room a dark tone. He carefully placed Julia on her crib, impressed with the fact she hasn't woken up since they left the hospital.
"You're such a lovely baby." He gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. "Daddy already loves you so much."
She moved a little and a smile outlined on her tiny lips, but she didn't wake up.
"It must be a very good dream." Abby rested her head against his left arm and looked down at Julia.
"I'm sure it is. I could stare at her all day and not get tired."
"Me too. But she deserves her moment of privacy too." She reached for John's hand and laced her fingers with his. "Come on."
"Okay. Let me just turn on the electronic nanny, so we can listen when she wakes up."
"We'll be next door, John."
"I know, but it's always good to be safe."
She kept her hand stretched out until he came back to her side and they walked out of Julia's room.
"It feels so good to be home again." Abby lied down on the bed.
"Did you miss it?" John lied on his side to look at her.
"Yes, I was getting annoyed with the hospital bed. But I missed you too, by the way."
"Good." He smiled. "It's been lonely without you here, I'm not gonna lie. I'm glad you two are here now."
"Me too. And to think things almost turned out to be different."
"But they didn't. And I really don't want to talk about what could have been. All that matters is here and now."
"You're right. And in this moment I just want to sleep."
"So enjoy while you can, before Julia wakes up."
"Yeah." Abby lowered her gaze to his arms and ran her hands through them. "Will you stay here with me?"
"Of course. You don't need to ask me twice." He kissed her forehead tenderly, but Abby cupped his face and brought it towards her, kissing him on the lips passionately.
.
"Yeah?" The words came out from John's lips before he could even control them. He slowly opened his eyes and found Abby sleeping peacefully in his arms with her head snuggled close to his chest. He rolled over slightly and glanced at the electronic nanny placed on the bedside table near his side of the bed. The sound coming from it was definitely unmistakable, so he carefully removed his arm from under Abby's body not to wake her up and headed to Julia's room.
John stopped by the crib with his hands curled up on the edge of it. He and Julia looked at each other for a brief moment until he picked her up. She had stopped crying since he walked in and quickly wrapped her little fingers around his index one. A few days had gone by since she was born and he still felt like it was all a dream. He had seen and delivered many babies in the ER, but only now he knew what all those fathers – and mothers – felt when seeing their babies for the first time.
"Hey Julia." He said softly. "Are you finding this place strange? This is your bedroom, look."
John took her for a short tour on her bedroom, showing her the light yellow walls with animal decorations in the middle of them.
"We have been waiting a long time for you and now you're finally here. Mommy and I couldn't be happier and more grateful for you. We love you so much already."
Julia gave a very small smile it almost went unnoticed by him and the drawings in the wall got her full attention right after.
"You like these, don't you?" John looked from her towards the wall as well, and kept switching his focus back and forth a few times. "It took us a little while to figure out which color to paint this room and what theme to use. And then we finally came to this choice. I hope you like it when you get a little older. And if you don't…" He looked down at her again. "We can change it."
Then he sat on a red armchair in the corner of the room and began to rock her slowly and gently. Before he knew it, his eyes shut down and he drifted to sleep just like her.
.
For the second time that day, John found himself slowly opening his eyes. That time, however, the sky outside was already dark and the room was illuminated in very light yellow. He glanced down after yawning and realized Julia was no longer in his arms or in her crib, so he stood up and walked out of her bedroom.
"Abby?" He peeked into his bedroom and saw her sitting on the bed with Julia in her arms. "Did I oversleep?"
Abby nodded her head and then looked down at their daughter, to make sure she was still sleeping. "And you were sleeping so heavily you probably didn't notice when Julia started crying again."
"She started crying?" He sat beside her and stared at the baby. "I didn't hear anything, I'm sorry."
"It's okay, I was already up. She was hungry, so…" She looked at him. "Enjoy it while you can because it's about to change."
"Well, it's for a great reason. I'm not bothered by it at all. I will help you with everything I can."
"I could really use some help with breastfeeding, by the way."
"Very funny." John couldn't help but smile. "The one thing I can't help you with. But I would if I could."
"I know." Abby returned the smile when their eyes met. "Thank you for being so amazing with all of this."
"Thank you for pushing me to stay in Chicago this time." He brushed her long blond hair softly. "Thank you for giving me the most amazing treasure I could ever ask for."
"Thank you for encouraging me to go through with this whenever I freaked out about my family's disease."
"The hard work was all on you, I just supported you. By the way, I'm so proud of you for that. Actually, I'm proud of you as a person. You never fail to amaze me."
"You can say that again." She said lightly and stroked his left cheek with the back of her hand. "Likewise though. Julia couldn't have chosen a better father for her."
"I love you."
"I love you too." Abby pressed her lips against his in a brief kiss. "I'm going to put Julia in her crib, though I think she will wake up very soon again. I'll be right back."
"Okay."
Ten minutes later and Abby hadn't returned, so John stood up and decided to look for her. He found her standing next to the crib with her hands over it, just like he was a few hours ago.
"Hey." He walked in and stopped beside her. "I was waiting for you in our bedroom."
"I know. I'm sorry." She smiled to herself, realizing she had said the exact same thing when he proposed to her at the rooftop of the hospital. "I just couldn't stop looking at our daughter or leave her alone here."
"She will be fine, Abby." He stood behind her and placed his chin on her left shoulder. "We'll be right next door."
"I know. I know. But still…" She bit her lower lip for a moment. "You know what? You're right."
"She will be okay." John slid his hand over her waist. "We're not gonna neglect her."
"Yeah." Abby released her grasp on the crib and placed her hands over his. "Let's go."
"I always knew you'd be a wonderful mother." He whispered in her ear as soon as she closed the door from Julia's room carefully. "And this just proves I'm right."
"Really?' She raised her eyebrows and looked at him from the corner of her eyes. "So you're not just saying that to get something for me?"
"Absolutely not, I'm simply stating a fact. Why though? Did you get disappointed?"
"Maybe." Abby said mysteriously. "I thought maybe you meant something else."
"Oh." It finally hit him. "You know it's too soon for that, right?"
"Yeah, I do." She paused for a moment. "Forget I said that."
"We can cuddle in bed though."
"I'm sure you would love that, wouldn't you?"
"Well…" He couldn't help but smile. "Does it help saying I missed having you here these past few days?"
"Possibly." She smiled as well as they walked back into their bedroom.
"What are you thinking about?" Abby rested her chin on John's chest and looked into his eyes.
"Nothing." He looked back at her. "But you seem to have something in your mind."
"Have you ever wondered how things would be like if I failed at convincing you to stay here in Chicago a year ago?"
"No, and I honestly don't want to. But it's very likely we wouldn't be together anymore."
"Yeah, you are probably right."
"But it's not something we'll have to worry about at all. I still mean what I said almost two years ago." He paused to see if she was going to say something, but she simply raised her eyebrows waiting for him to go on. "I did win the lottery when I met you."
"More like a new life."
"That too."
"I'm just so glad we met." She rested her left cheek on his body again. "After a lot of misdirection we're finally here."
"I know. But it is all in the past now."
"You and me… we're a keeper." Abby closed her eyes and fell asleep within minutes.