Honey
"Perhaps it takes courage to raise children.."
― John Steinbeck, East of Eden
I remember the day pretty vividly, it was pretty clear compared to any of my other memories. I'm pretty sure it was the reason my mutation actually made an appearance. It was summer and it was so hot, I remember the smell of cow shit roasting in the hot sun as my uncles tended to the other animals my grandparents kept on their small farm. I huffed, my hair had frizzed up from the heat and wouldn't stay tame in the low ponytail my granny gave me. I kicked my feet as they hung off the porch, leaning back to avoid the sun, the screen door suddenly swung open, my granny stepping through into my line of vision.
"I'm running to the store, you riding or stayin?" A wide grin split across my face as I quickly climbed to my feet, dusted the back of my shorts off and quickly stepping into my sandals. "I'm ridin." Granny grinned as she held her hand out to get ahold of mine as she quickly shuffled down the stairs and into the old town car. The ride to the store was a blur, that part of the memory is always hazy, overshadowed by the trauma no doubt.
The store was quiet, the smell of industrial cleaner was strong. Granny said she was coming for cucumbers and onions, something about a salad that I wasn't fucking eating. I hummed lightly as I picked up a decent sized cucumber, inspecting it before I was happy granny wouldn't send me back for a replacement. Adding it to the basket I moved along, meeting up with granny by the onions, she was huffing, complaining about how the price was going up and she never paid so much in her life. I laughed and moved along. "Why not just get a bag granny? Wouldn't that save time and money?" I hadn't noticed granny going silent next to me, I think I kept talking about bags of onions. "There go your mama." I paused, looking back at granny as she stood stiff next to me, her graze locked on a figure a lane over.
I looked over and locked eyes with my nightmare, my personal devil. My mother, she was tall and slender and beautiful. Her auburn hair was pinned up on top of her head, her eyes reminded me of the sky over the ocean during a storm. They were narrowed at me, pinpoints filled with, rage? Maybe disgust as well. Her back suddenly went ramrod stiff as she turned her nose up and proceed to move as if she hadn't seen me, like I wasn't worth the effort, like I was invisible.
And then, I suddenly was.
The rest of the memory is also a blur, I remember my emotions during the episode, a whirlwind of hurt, confusion, the need to vanish seemed natural to me. Next I remember was my uncle carrying me into the house and tucking me into my own bed. Granny apologized the next morning, said she didn't know why she blurted it out like that. The breakfast had been silent, I barely ate, no one brought up the turning invisible issue, but the change in the mood told me everything, I was different now, they where no strangers to mutants, my dad was one, they were scared. So was I.
"Why did she ignore me?" The words tumbled out before I could stop them, after everyone left the table and granny and I were alone. She was standing by the kitchen sink washing the dishes, she paused, looking over her shoulder at me. She sighed, turning the water off and leaning back against the sink, facing me. "Baby I wish I could tell you. Leanne is a difficult woman to know Honey." She sighed as she moved closer, pulling a chair behind her as she sat in front of me. She reached across the table, clasping her hands around mine as she looked me over. "All I can say is she missed out on the most wonderful thing to enter into anyone's life. You cannot let her influence your life Honey, this is her loss, not yours."
I finally raised my eyes to meet hers, her eyes unlike my mothers were filled with nothing but genuine love, trust, and understanding. And with this small look I knew, no matter what happened I knew granny would always be there, standing beside me. She'd already lost one child to a mutation that he felt like he couldn't share with her, she hadn't wanted to lose me as well.