CHAPTER TEN

New Start

Nessie hated putting Emma in a coffin I hated it too. So as soon as we boarded our private plane I gently took her back into my arms. It was not an obligation, it was not for Nessie, it was for me. I needed to keep her close; I needed to come to terms with my feelings about all that happened. I could not accept her death, I kept staring at her cold stoned face, this can't be it. she just can't come into my life again to die, not like this. All our memories together flashed through my head, torturing me. Ironically, this is probably the longest time we had together, but she is not even here to feel it.

The flight home was long, but wasn't enough, my brain was in a chaotic state. Pain, guilt, frustration, and anger were only a few of the overwhelming feelings I was struggling with. The idea of her sacrificing herself for me, for the sake of my love, my family, without hesitation and without ever knowing what she means to me, how incomplete she leaves me. How I regret not showing her just how much I love her. I was oblivious to all around me, to Nessie's stares, to Bella chiding eyes or to the wonder of the rest of my family. The gap Emma's death left in my chest was eating me alive and making everything else meaningless. I had no desire or strength to care about anything beyond the few moments I had left with her.

I don't know if it was the deep thoughts that sent me into a trance, or the long time I stared at Emma's face, or may be even my desperation, but I felt her skin get a bit warmer and softer under the palms of my hands, I even thought I felt her arm twitch. I wanted to scream, but I kept it all to myself, there was no reason for creating a buzz about this, there was nothing worse than creating a wave of false hope. If this all just in my head, then I would rather be disappointed alone.

By the time we reached the house, I was really feeling a notable change in Emma's body. Is something really happening? or is her loss has officially drove me insane?

I rushed to my room and gently placed her in bed and closed the door behind. Locking away all distractions and focusing only on her for once. I watched her carefully for hours, twitching and jerking as if she was struggling to break her way out of her now not so hard stone body. When her eyes finally opened, I was in utter shock,

"You are here," she smiled, her eyes glowing with satisfaction and relief.

I kept staring at her like a mad man in complete disbelief; I wasn't sure if this was really happening or if it was just a dream or a hallucination.

"But why are you here?! You are not supposed to be here," her smile faded as she swiftly rose to her feet, a touch of regretful sadness crossing her face.

"You lost?! Did you all...?!" her voice broke, as she moved closer to me.

I couldn't move a muscle, or even whisper a word, I was speechless and astonished by her rise from the death like a graceful Phoenix.

She reached out with one hand and touched my face, I instantly held my hand firmly over hers, squeezing it, trying to confirm she was real, but even though our skin was touching, I still couldn't believe it was her. I couldn't fight the urge to hold her, wrap her tight in my arms, contain her, shielding her within my body. Doing the thing, I should have done back at the Volturi castle. And although she wasn't in any danger now, every cell in my body wanted to protect her.

"See Edward, our souls are not doomed, if you are here with me, then it must be heaven," she whispered into my ears, her arms circling my chest.

"Emma, you are not dead love, and thanks to your sacrifice, none of us is. We are all home safe,"

I triumphantly replied, holding our deep embrace, finally realizing what she was thinking.

She breathed a sigh of relief and buried her head deeper in my shoulder. I gently ran my hand down her face and she instinctively pressed against it. I forced my lips against hers and kissed her, a kiss worth a hundred years of passion, she kissed me back but only for a brief moment. When she gently pulled away from me and self-consciously smiled, I immediately felt conflicted, I knew our stolen moment was over and that reality has struck us both.

"How do you feel?!" I asked, trying to break the awkwardness.

"I actually feel great, I guess Caius struck fueled me with electricity or something, I feel like a new born vampire," she answered puzzled but rather happy.

"It was not Caius, actually it was Nessie, she wouldn't accept losing you, and it was her blood that..."

"Her blood! MY God Edward! How could you let that happen?!" she immediately interrupted, her face registered terrible disappointment.

"Do you realize what you have done?! Do you even understand the danger you are putting her into? They all saw me die, it will only take one vampire to see me alive and all hell will break loose. They were after her when her blood only healed aging, imagine what will happen if they knew her blood can bring back dead vampires!" Her voice got louder, as she continued, her anger and frustration increased.

"I have to leave, I have to leave now. I have to disappear. No one should know this ever happened, no one, not even the rest of the family. I will go now," her eyes were frantic as she looked around the room in panic, confused not really knowing what to do.

I placed my hands on her shoulders, trying to contain her fear.

"My dear Emma, there is going to be no more running, not for any of us. The Volturi lost darling, Caius is dead, all Aro's gifted guards are gone, and he is the one on the run now," my words caught her by surprise, she didn't know how our battle with the Volturi ended. Her anxiety was relieved but only for a bit, it wasn't long before pain and guilt took over her again.

"Still, Aro is no easy enemy, you know that better than anyone," she said, her eyes still clouded with terror.

"You shouldn't have given me her blood Edward; it is not fair to her. You shouldn't encourage her to sacrifice, teach her to survive. Her blood should be taboo to everyone even you. It shouldn't be easy for her to give it up. Don't teach her to be like you and me, teach her to be better. You should prepare her for the coming battles, because no matter what you tell yourself, we both know trouble is coming," she continued pouring out her pain and concerns.

Her words burned through my brain, not because every word she'd said was true, but because it goes against my nature, my instinct, against everything I believe in, against everything she believes in.

"But I want her to be like us. I want her to love her family and to do what she can for them. I want her to trust that they would do the same for her. Even if that means putting her in danger. Danger is inevitable, having a family to rely on is the only way to protect her," I firmly attested.

"Please just let me go, let me buy you some time, please," she sincerely pleaded, the worry making her voice grow weaker.

Nessie's footsteps on the stairs were my saving sound; her witch connection with Emma must be still on. Her ecstatic thoughts about Emma's return could break a mountain of despair.

"It's not my decision to let you go Emma, it's hers," I declared with a wide smile of satisfaction, shifting my gaze to the room door.

Nessie raced through it and threw herself into Emma's extended arms and cried tears of joy. Their embrace was warm, deep and a bit long. When Emma finally pulled away and smiled, the whole family had gathered in the room, and not only the Cullen's, our wolfs family was there too, Jacob, Seth and even Leah.

Emma gazed across their curious faces in reassurance and love and then turned her focus back to Nessie,

"You gave me a new life Darling, and I give you my word in front of our family to dedicate it all to you," she pledged herself to my daughter with a solid promise that I knew she literally meant.

This time the whole family joined in a group hug around Nessie and Emma, even Bella had finally got over her conflicted feelings towards her and joined the celebration. A celebration of our completeness, our uniqueness, our unity and triumph.

I watched their happy love filled faces, and heard their hopeful thoughts and just knew why this family can survive anything. Carlisle thoughts focused on mending the relations with the wolfs pack and the elders, Esme and Leah thoughts evolved around the same issue but differently, they were both thinking of a way to lift the imprint spell off Seth's head, to give him the freedom to fall in love and have the life he deserves. Jacob's thoughts were filled with guilt and regrets, he was thinking of ways to make it up to both Emma and Nessie. And even though I couldn't read Bella's mind, the look of adoration and respect she had on her face showed that her believes in this family are not any less than mine.

There was not a single thought of hate, selfishness or rivalry. There were only thoughts of love, faith, loyalty, and devotion. If I had any doubts before, I am now more than ever sure that we are the strongest family to ever exist. A family that stands together, accept each other, and fight for one another. From now on, we will firmly stand our ground, nothing can break us, and no one can take us down.

One face haunted my mind and heart, a face that our interference in his life cost him the only family he had, Nahuel. My family is incomplete without him. I have to bring him home before his sisters get to him.