"My lady!" a sharp voice called from the door. She felt her heart cinch. Standing at the open window overlooking the sea she had felt uneasy, knowing foul news could come at any moment. Turning her head slightly, she nodded, motioning for the guard to enter.
"I bring grave news," he said.
"You may speak freely," she replied. She summoned all the strength she had left, steeling herself for the words she knew were coming.
"He has fallen, my lady," the guard said.
She closed her eyes, feeling warm tears flow down her cheeks. She cradled her pronounced stomach, her pregnancy near its term. A sharp pain made her gasp, doubling over. With a cry, she slid to the floor, the pain becoming unbearable.
The last thing she heard before darkness overtook her was the lone cry of a gull.
Rivendell had not changed in a thousand years. Time had not touched the city, its buildings still free of any signs of aging. Had she not known better, Amariel would have thought even the trees had remained unchanged. But she knew that they had seen each season every year, leaves budding to shades of green, turning to golden shades of autumn, and finally releasing as the winter set in. They were now in the midst of their autumn colors and looked just as glorious as they had the last time her eyes had laid upon them.
Inhaling slowly, she pasted a smile on her face as she crossed the bridge. Quiet footsteps of her guards followed behind her. It had been a purposefully slow journey to Rivendell, much to her guards' annoyance, but she had been apprehensive to arrive. Not that Lord Elrond and the elves of Rivendell were poor hosts; in fact, they were more than gracious to their guests. The last time she had visited Lord Elrond had hosted a banquet in her honor which had lasted nearly a week.
Amariel's visit to Rivendell this time was not in regards to pleasure. This visit was, in fact, in regards to an alliance.
"Cousin!" Amariel was greeted by Lord Elrond. He gave her a warm smile as he wrapped his arms around her. "Welcome back to Imladris. We have been anticipating your arrival!"
"I thank you for your welcome," Amariel said, hoping her words did not sound as stiff as they felt. If Elrond noticed, he made no acknowledgement. "Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel send their regards and hopes that my visit is fruitful."
Elrond's smile faltered. Before he could respond Amariel was clasped on both shoulders, her vision going double before realizing Elrond's twin sons were embracing her. Despite knowing them since childhood, she still struggled to tell Elrohir and Elladan apart.
"Welcome!" one of the twins said, giving her a small squeeze.
"We were concerned with how long it took you to arrive; we very nearly sent out a search party!" the other one added.
"Let her breathe," a clear voice said behind them. The twins stepped aside, revealing their sister. Arwen. Although Amariel was older by a few decades, Arwen had always seemed like the pinnacle of what an elleth should be, leaving Amariel feeling no older than an elfling.
Arwen pulled her into a gentle hug. Before she released her, she whispered, "I am sorry you come here for such a purpose. I wish a gladder purpose had brought you to us instead."
The halls of Rivendell were teaming with excitement. A celebration had been planned to welcome Amariel, much to her dismay. She had loved the parties and banquets she had once attended, but this time was different. Her time here was different.
Lothlorien was much more serene, she pondered as she stared from her bedroom window. Soft white curtains of gauze fluttered around her as they caught the evening breeze. It was cooler here, the beginning of autumn crisp in the air. Home had been warmer.
Behind her a maid unpacked her bag, having insisted upon it despite Amariel's few belongings. The last time she had visited her bag had been fuller, filled with clothing from home, but she had quickly discovered Rivendell required much different fashions. Her gowns of thin white gossamer and pale green lawn were not sturdy enough for the rustic Rivendell. Arwen had insisted upon stocking a wardrobe for her whenever she visited and Amariel knew that if she opened the small cupboard in her room, she would find enough gowns to last her entire visit.
Just then a sharp breeze blew sending a shiver down her spine. She hugged her arms tightly across her chest, fighting off her chill.
"Shall I pull a new dress out for you?" the maid asked. Amariel turned and gave her a small smile, shaking her head.
"That is kind, but I will change shortly. You have done enough already."
With a nod of her head, the maid left the room. When the door had closed, Amariel sank onto her bed, relishing being alone. It had been a long journey from Lothlorien to Rivendell and she had not had a moment's peace during it. The guard she traveled with were jovial and kind, but insisted on filling each day with talk and singing. Towards the end Amariel longed to ride ahead and risk losing her protection just to escape the words.
"Amariel?" she heard Elrond ask from the doorway. She quickly sat up, pasting a smile on her face. Elrond's face was lined with worry, contrasting the joyful expression he had worn when she had arrived.
"Cousin!" she said brightly. Elrond's worry lines eased but did not disappear.
"I do not mean to disturb you," he said.
"You are not in the least disturbing me."
"I am glad." He paused, frowning as though he were carefully choosing his next words. "I wanted to speak to you of your visit."
Amariel's heart sank. She had hoped for a bit of a reprieve, just a bit before the subject came up. Strengthening her smile, she nodded.
"Of course."
"Perhaps you could follow me?" Elrond motioned out the door with his hand. "We will be more comfortable."
Amariel followed him through the hall towards the Hall of Fire. She loved this particular part of Rivendell. When it was not filled with music and laughter, celebrations and excitement, the Hall with its roaring fire was idyllic. Cozy chairs sat near the fireplace. She had loved to curl up in one, feeling the warmth from the fire on her skin. She had also loved the dancing as musicians played lively and lovely tunes, as well as the storytelling that would leave her mystified.
Today the Hall was near empty save a few elves huddled over a book on the far side of the room. Elrond led her to a pair of chairs near the fire, motioning for her to sit.
"I am so happy you are here," he began. "You are a comforting reminder of Celebrian and the joy she brought to Imladris all those years ago."
"I miss her too," Amariel said. She reached across and gave Elrond's hand a comforting squeeze. No matter how long her cousin had been gone, the pain of losing her always felt fresh.
"Lord Celeborn and the Lady Galadriel have sent you here in hopes to make a match. I admit I do not know who they intend for you, but I learned many years ago not to question the Lady of Light's wishes."
"As have I," Amariel said with a small laugh. Elrond smiled warmly.
"When I first met Celebrian, I thought she could move the moon and the stars. Her beauty was captivating, but it was her pure heart that enchanted me the most. We had wonderful years together and made more wonderful memories. I would desire our love for any one, especially my family. Even knowing what I do now, that she and I would be parted, I would not change a moment of our time together." Elrond paused, inhaling deeply as though he was overcome with emotion. Clearing his throat, he continued. "This is the love I wish for you, my dear cousin. Not an alliance based on necessity, but a wealth of love that stretches eternally."
"I admire that so much," Amariel said. "Yet I find I cannot bring myself to terms with this need to marry. I have seen great loves, read about them in our histories, been regaled by songs of love; yet I am tasked with aligning myself to another with no foundation in love."
"Why can there not be a foundation in love? Do you not believe yourself to be capable of love? Or of being loved?"
Amariel sighed.
"I do not know an answer to either of those questions."
Rivendell did not welcome her with simplicity. It welcomed her with extravagance. The celebration of her arrival lasted for nearly a week, nights stretching into the mornings and mornings stretching into the nights. Little rest and even less sleep was had by all who attended, for the food was plentiful and drink flowed freely. Music animated the Hall of Fire, pausing only for storytelling and singing. By the fourth night, Amariel had nearly forgotten her reason for coming to Rivendell.
She had just lifted her cup, Rivendell's finest honeyed wine close to her lips, when a low horn called. The music in the hall slowed to a stop as dozens of elves turned to see what had caused the interruption. Amariel stretched on her toes, trying to see over the crowd.
An elf, taller than any in the room, had entered. His pale hair was long, hanging straight with no braids or other adornments. Upon the elf's head sat a tall crown, its spires adorned with bright autumn berries, red and golden leaves woven among them. Not even the Lady Galadriel wore a crown as splendid as his. His clothing was striking, silver and grey, but even more striking were his eyes. Although he was far from where she stood, she could very near feel their intensity as his eyes scanned the room.
"Thranduil," she heard whispered. "The Sindarin king."
She felt a warm hand placed on her shoulder and turned to see one of her cousins – Elrohir, she guessed – smiling down at her.
"Father wants you to come greet our guest," he said in a low voice. Her gaze returned to the king, her eyes widening when she saw his own eyes staring hard at her.
Elrohir led her through the halls to Lord Elrond's chambers. Inside a fire crackled in the hearth. Amariel felt enveloped by its warmth. Combined with the cups of wine she had drank at the celebration she began to feel drowsy, a sensation she was rarely familiar with. Elrond stood near the hearth, one hand placed upon the mantle, as he stared into the flames. Elladan sat on the far side of the room, his own gaze watching the fire as his father's.
Elrohir cleared his throat, alerting his father that they had arrived. Elrond turned from the fireplace, his sharp frown turning into a warm smile.
"I am sorry for asking you to leave your celebration," he said.
"I am happy to be invited to greet the Sindarin king," she replied. She hoped her voice had come out steady, masking her growing nerves. From the sound of Elladan's low chuckle, she assumed it had not.
"I am pleased to hear this," said a deep voice behind her. She turned and saw Thranduil standing in the doorway. Up close he looked more magnificent than he had before. His pale hair nearly glowed in the light, his eyes more silver than blue. She bowed her head in greeting.
"Welcome Thranduil," Elrond said, greeting the king. Elladan and Elrohir both bowed their heads. "I am pleased you made it in time for our celebration."
"Thank you for your invitation," the king replied. He accepted the offered seat near the fire. His long robes brushed by Amariel as he passed, his eyes darting to her quickly before he sat. "We had planned to arrive sooner but ran into some trouble along the way. Orcs hiding in the woods. We thankfully ambushed them before they could ambush us."
"I trust no one was injured?" Elrond asked, his brows furrowing. Thranduil waved a hand, brushing the thought aside.
"No, no injuries. It was a minimal skirmish."
"I am glad to hear that," Elrond said. He held out his hand to Amariel, who placed her own in his. "Please allow me to introduce my wife's cousin, Amariel."
Thranduil raised his brows. "Cousin of Celebrian? How?"
"My father is Finrod Felagund," she replied. "Eldest brother of-"
"I know who he is," Thranduil interrupted. He turned to Elrond, frowning. "Finrod had no known children. Did he recognize her?"
"I am recognized by the Lady Galadriel. My father had left for Valinor before I came to Lothlorien."
Thranduil's eyes darted to her, freezing her in place. He remained silent, his face impassive, as he stared. Her unease grew. The room was silent save the soft crackling of the fire. With a quick blink, Thranduil's face shifted, relaxing, and he leaned back in his seat. Although only a small armchair, he sat upon it as if he was seated on a throne, surveying his subjects.
"So Finrod had a daughter," he said softly. "I was unaware Elrond had a princess waiting for me."
With a sharp gulp, Amariel shook her head. "I am not a princess," she said. "My father's kingdom went to my cousin Orodreth, but there is no more kingdom."
"A princess with no kingdom is still a princess," Thranduil argued.
"I am afraid I must disagree with you."
"Amariel," Elrond said, giving her a tight smile. "Perhaps you would like to join the younger ones back at the celebration? I am certain our guests are still eager to welcome you back to Rivendell."
"Of course," she said, returning his smile with one slightly tighter. She turned back to Thranduil, bowing her head slightly. "King Thranduil, it was my pleasure to greet you."
He nodded his head in return. "I look forward to seeing you further."
When Amariel had quit the room, Thranduil straightened and his brows furrowed. Elrond was silent, his sons exchanging worried glances. Silence stretched for several long minutes.
"How does she exist?" Thranduil asked.
"Amariel's existence is a mystery to us all," Elrond explained. "She was raised with my wife, yet we never knew how old she was, if she were older or younger. We never knew how she came to be."
"And she is one you would have me consider?"
Elrond nodded his head once. Thranduil exhaled slowly, leaning back in his chair.
"She may do well yet."
"What was he like?" Arwen asked, slipping an arm through Amariel's. "I have never spoken to him outside of a formal greeting. Was he as terrifying as he looks?"
Amariel gave her a small smile. "I wouldn't say terrifying," she started, glancing around to see if anyone would hear her before continuing. "Cold, though. I felt uncertain the entire time I was in there."
"I would imagine so," Arwen said, nodding.
Amariel opened her mouth to speak when she caught Arwen's gaze traveling across the room. She followed it, finding it landed upon a tall man. He looked somewhat alien among the other elves. He was tall, as tall as the elves, dark hair falling in waves to his chin. His face looked weary, but his eyes were eagerly searching the crowd.
She glanced back at Arwen, smiling at the way her face lit up. She looked young, happy. In love. Amariel placed a hand on Arwen's back, getting her attention.
"Is that him?' she asked when Arwen turned to face her.
Arwen nodded. "Aragorn," she said softly, turning back to him.
Amariel watched as he weaved his way through the crowd, heading towards them. He nodded every so often, as exclamations of "Estel!" came from the elves he passed. She had forgotten tales of the man who grew up in Rivendell, fostered by Elrond.
Not wanting to get caught in what seemed to be a long-awaited reunion, Amariel leaned close to Arwen's ear.
"I will leave you to your devices."
Deciding she had had enough of the celebration, Amariel slipped out of the room and began the walk back to her room. Arwen's happiness made her think about her own purpose for coming to Rivendell.
An alliance.
At her family's urging, she had come to seek the help of Elrond in forming an alliance for herself. She could not bring herself to call it was it was: a marriage. Seeking someone to wed felt wrong, but she knew she could not always live her life hidden away in Caras Galdrhon, alone until she sailed for the Undying Lands.
Nor did she want to, if she were honest. Her loneliness had grown immeasurably over the years. There were friends, of course, and her family to keep her company. Yet days spent alone were hard; the nights even harder.
But to find someone just to not be alone. That was not what she had imagined for herself.
The sound of soft footsteps broke her from her thoughts. Looking up she saw Thranduil coming towards her, his stern face even harder than before. When he saw her his face softened into a small smile. It felt slightly unnerving.
"Amariel," he said softly. "Daughter of Finrod. It seems such an odd thing to learn about one who has been gone for so long. Lord Elrond tells me you never knew your father."
"No, my lord," she responded, equally as soft. "Neither him nor my mother, for whom I am named."
"Amarie," he said. She nodded. "I heard tales in my youth of her beauty. I can only imagine you take after her, as there is very little of your father in your appearance."
"So I am told," she answered with a frown. The corner of Thranduil's mouth lifted as in a smile, clearly aware she was affronted by his comment.
Thranduil clasped his hands behind his back, moving past her. She turned, following him with her eyes. He walked to a nearby balcony overlooking the rushing river below. Amariel followed him, standing feet away from him, uncertain if she should say something further.
"My son lost his mother when he was young," he said. "I fear I have done him a disservice by not speaking of her, but the loss…" he trailed off with a sigh.
"The loss is too great," Amariel whispered.
The king inclined his head. Without turning to her, he spoke. "I have detained you from your destination. Please do not let me keep you further."
Taking his words as a dismissal, Amariel turned and continued to her room.