FROM LYNDY WITH LOVE
by Lifein3d
It was early Friday afternoon and the world was quiet. The breeze that had played with the porch wind chime was gone. Perhaps moving on to windmills and toys elsewhere. Only the birds were left to note the passage of time with their intermittent calls.
Amy was sitting on the front porch looking out over the yard. Dressed in her usual jeans, tank top, plaid shirt and boots, she hid from the warm afternoon sun and thought about the day. A single strand of hair, an escapee from her ponytail, framed the right side of her face.
Unaccustomed to "burning daylight" as Grandpa put it, Amy had resigned herself to this spot for the past three days about this time. It was her place to regroup and calm her fears. Something that was getting harder to do despite her best efforts.
On the bench next to Amy were two things. A plate with the last bits of a BLT that Georgie had made for her. It wasn't her usual lunch, but the salty bacon seemed to taste even better now that she was pregnant. So much so that she's had them for lunch all week. All-be-it with ever increasing amounts of bacon, thanks to Georgie. The second item was an old black and white photo Amy had found in a box of her mother's things.
With the BLT finished, Amy carefully wiped her hands and picked up the photo. There was Marian sitting in that very spot, singing to a wide-eyed infant girl. Amy was nestled in a blanket, cradled in her mother's arms. She'd heard that song many times growing up. All the Bartlett women had. Seeing the photo again brought back her mom's voice and the words to the song. A feeling of warmth washed over her and Amy began to sing softly to herself.
She'd just gotten to the end of the first verse when Grandpa sat down next to her. Hearing the melody from long ago, he was more than pleased to blend his voice with hers. Amy turned and smiled at him as they harmonized the last two verses. When they were done, they broke eye contact and just sat for a moment, basking in the warmth of their individual memories.
"I haven't heard that song in a long time. Lyndy wrote it just before Marion was born. Said she wanted something special to sing when her daughter arrived." Turning to Amy, he asked "What made you think of it?" Showing him the photo, Amy explained. "I found it in a box of Mom's things. Lou must have packed it up along with all of her other photos and stuff from the bedroom. I wish she'd left this one out."
"I remember that day." Grandpa said, taking the photo from her. Leaning forward to get it closer to the sunlight, he studied it for a bit. "You were about three months old and Marian had just given you a bath. Instead of drying you off, she just wrapped you in a blanket and brought you out on the porch. Said the fresh air and sunlight was good for ya. "
Sitting up straight, he caught Amy's eye and flashed that warm smile of his. "To see the love in her eyes…. I saw that same look in Lyndy's eyes when Marian was born. It almost made me give up the rodeo, listening to her sing. She had a beautiful voice, Amy."
Grandpa trailed off, broke eye contact and leaned forward again, looking out over the yard. Then down at the photo in his hands; unsure what to say next. The photo had triggered a mix of his own memories and emotions. Moments with Lyndy and a young Marian, a house full of music and laughter, still tainted by the taste of regret.
Amy studied him for a bit. She noticed the smile slowly fade as the memories turned sour. So caught up in her own dealings, it hit her just then how this might be difficult for him too. She knew the stories of him being on the rodeo circuit and away from home. The slight frown now showing, a tell for the regret he still felt. She gave him another moment and then slid over next to him.
"I miss her, Grandpa." She shared as she reached over, pulling his left hand away from the photo.
"I know you do, Amy. I can't imagine what it's like for you, especially now. I'm sure she'd be mighty proud of you for continuing to work with the horses. I know I am." Turning toward her just a bit, he continued. "I like think'in she's still watching over you. Sorta like that time you fell off Spartan and hit your head."
Amy smiles as the memory of that event comes back to her. "She rode up on her horse Kindling and told me I had to get out of there. That it wasn't safe." Amy pauses for a bit then sits up and looks at him. "It felt so real Grandpa. I remember wishing that we could have spent more time together."
"I'm not surprised. I'd want to do the same. But it's a good thing Ty showed up when he did. Especially with that bear in the area. Guess he felt you needed saving. He seems to do that a lot."
"Yeah." She replies as her smile grows a bit. Her mind continuing to replaying the events of the day as they settle into a comfortable silence.
Neither was ready to move from that spot. A gentle breeze making it way too tempting to just sit there a bit longer. Amy let go of Grandpa's hand, leaned back and closed her eyes for a bit. She could hear her mom's voice in her head again and wanted to blot out the world. After the memory and voice faded, she opened her eyes in time to see Grandpa put the photo down on the bench.
Remembering his reaction a few minutes back, she watched him as he continued, lost in thought or maybe his memories.
"Grandpa, can I ask you something?"
He looks at her. "Sure. You can ask me anything, Amy."
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to but..." She paused for a bit, unsure of the final wording to her question. She didn't want to make him feel worse. Quite the contrary.
"Does thinking of Lyndy make you sad some times? I mean, does knowing how things were for Lyndy while you were on the road still make you sad?"
Grandpa studies her for a bit. Unsure where her questions are coming from, he debates how much to share. He's never been comfortable talking about his life while on the rodeo circuit and away from home. There were moments he wasn't particularly proud of and didn't take a shine to people bringing them up. But this was Amy, his granddaughter asking. He knew her heart and intentions well. And she was sitting here trying to navigate her own feels and relationship.
"When you've been in a relationship long enough, Amy, you're bound to have regrets. It's just part of life. Maybe it's a missed date or special occasion or maybe it's your child saying her very first words while you're at a rodeo a hundred miles away with your butt planted on the ground by a horse deciding it didn't like you riding." After a pause, he rubs his hands together and adds "Guess those are the ones that hurt most. Coming home with nothing to show for it."
Watching Grandpa speak, Amy noticed how the warmth in his voice and the slight smile faded when he got to that last part. The bit about having nothing to show for it.
"But Lyndy understood, right? She was still happy to see you when you got back."
"Funny thing is. We actually joked about it. Or Lyndy did after she determined that Marion's first words came about the same time that my butt hit the ground." After a chuckle, he continues a bit more somber. "I think loving each other meant that we respected each other's passions. For Lyndy, it was music. For me, the rodeo."
"Was she ever mad at you for going?"
"No. She understood what it meant to me. Not that she was happy that I was leaving some days. But she understood."
Sitting up a bit, Grandpa begins his own inquiry. "Why the questions, Amy? Is something going on with you and Ty?" A look of concern spreads across Grandpa's face as he waits for her answer.
"No. We're good. It's just that when I've talked with Ty these past few nights, I get the feeling that he regrets being there. Being away, I mean. Especially now."
"Scott told me those conferences teach new techniques and procedures, right? They sound pretty important, Amy."
"They are and he knows that he has to be there. When we first start talking at night, it's always him sharing some new technique or insight that he gained during the day. A few times he wished he'd known about a new technique sooner because he could have used it to help an animal."
"Ty's a good vet. Makes me proud to see what that young man has made of himself."
"I'm proud of him two, Grandpa. I get it and I love him for it." Choosing her words carefully, she adds "I just don't want him to feel bad for doing all the things that come with. You should see him do surgery! He's so focused, it's like the rest of the world is blocked out and there's only him and his patient. I guess I don't want him to lose any of that focus because of me."
"Amy, you both have so much passion for helping animals. I see you do the same thing when you're working with a troubled horse. You will sit in the pasture for hours, focused only on the horse. The fact that you both come at it from opposite directions means that you're guaranteed there'll be some regret. You'll disagree about treatments and be away from each other for training and clinics at times. And there'll be moments you'll replay in your mind, thinking of a million better ways you could have dealt with a situation."
"Yeah, I've done that a few times already."
"I guess that's the point where trust and balance come in."
"What do you mean?"
"You have to trust that Ty is being truthful with you about how he feels when you're away and you have to be truthful with him about how you feel when he's away. If Ty says he's okay with you being away at a clinic, then you have to trust that that's how he feels. Each of you can then focus on what you're there to do. You heal any regret by making extra time for each other. Do something special."
Amy considers his words as he continues. She's distracted briefly, thinking about her last conversation with Ty.
"After some of my worst rodeo events, Lyndy was probably the most loving and caring because she believed in me. She knew the disappointment I felt but was never disappointed in me. She'd take care of all of my cuts and bruises. Then make sure I was more than ready to go for the next rodeo. I just had to stop worrying about what was happening at home, especially while riding a horse that didn't particularly like me." Grandpa adds that last part with a grin to lighten the mood.
Amy listens to what he says, taking in the words and committing them to memory. She then reaches for his free hand and says in a softer voice.
"But you still feel regret about some of it. Don't you?"
"Yeah, there are one or two things that I've not settled with myself yet. Don't think I ever will."
"Do you think Lyndy would still want you feeling bad?" She squeezes his hand gently, to emphasize the point.
"No she wouldn't, Amy. She'd tell me that our lives played out the way they were meant to. We each played our part, doing the best we could and should be proud of that."
Grandpa's words trigger thoughts of her mom going to rescue Spartan during the storm. A reoccurring theme these past few days. Amy has never risked asking herself what would have happened if they'd waited till the storm passed because she knows the answer.
"I have a couple regrets that aren't ever going to let go." She voices, not quite loud enough for Grandpa to hear.
"Talk with Ty and I'm sure you'll work it out. Just be honest. Maybe it's a bit of him that you're miss'in too?" He shares with a gentle voice and a pat on her leg. After a moment, he gets up.
"Maybe." Amy admits, watching him head to the door.
Jack pauses for a bit and looks her way. "When's he due back? He's been gone several days now."
"The conference is four days. He should be back later tonight. Said he'd call when the plane lands."
"How's he getting home?"
"Apparently, Scotts picking him up. Said Ty could repay him by sharing all the news and any new surgical techniques he learned."
"It was nice of Scott to let him go this year."
Jack turns and gets to the door when Georgie opens it. Grabbing the handle, he lets her exit before he enters.
As they pass, Georgie tells him, "There's stuff to make BLTs on the table. I would have made you one but I know you don't like it when the bread gets soggy from the tomato. Lou warned me about that. "
Jack's about to say something when Georgie turns her attention to Amy, walking toward the bench she notices Amy's eyes are closed and debates whether to disturb her. After a moment, Amy opens her eyes and turns to look at Georgie.
"Anything you need, Amy?"
"No Georgie. The sandwich was really good. Thank you."
"Was there enough bacon? You said you liked bacon so I put a couple extra strips on it."
Amy looks at Georgie for a bit. Noting the concern on her face, she moves the photo and pats the bench next to her.
"Have a seat. Tell me what's going on."
"What do you mean?" Georgie asks as she sits and Amy turns to face her.
"Well, you've been acting like my personal chef these past few days. And errand runner and assistant to whatever I happen to be doing."
"I just want to help. Now that you're pregnant, I'm not sure you should be doing all that stuff."
"I'm not handicapped Georgie. I'm only five months along and still able to do everything. Except maybe fit into these jeans." Amy says while trying to adjust her waistline a bit.
"I'm just worried. I guess. I've never been with a family where anyone's pregnant. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
"Nothing bad is gonna happen."
Unconvinced by her own history, Georgie debates whether to share what else she's been thinking and noticing. The process is short lived as impulse takes over a few seconds later.
"And you're acting weird. Well maybe not weird, but different. And you never just sit like this, especially when there are horses to work with and the suns up." She declares.
Amy hands Georgie the photo. Georgie stares at it for a bit. Flips it over to read the writing on the back and then turns it round again.
"Is that why you're sad? You're thinking of your mom?" She asks, watching Amy's expression as intently as she's listening.
"I think so. Apparently, hormones cause mood swings and I've been dealing with them the past couple days. Pretty much the whole week. Best I can do is sit here a bit till things pass. Not good to be around skittish horses in this state."
Not missing a beat, Georgie pipes up.
"Yeah, the last thing we need is a horse suffering mood swings. What a nightmare that would be!"
The huge grin on Georgie's face does nothing to dissuade Amy from launching an attack on her ribs with very pointy fingers. Shouts and giggles erupt and Jack cannot help but smile as he hears the attack through the kitchen window.
"No fair. I can't defend myself." Georgie protests.
Amy pauses for a moment, pretending to be concerned.
"You're right. I'm so sorry Georgie! Wait, no I'm not!"
The attack resumes and lasts long enough to illicit more laughter and lighten Amy's mood. Something Georgie had hoped when she first stepped onto the porch. After the cease fire, both parties move to opposite sides of the bench to regroup.
"When's Ty coming back?" Georgie asks after her breathing calms.
"Later tonight."
"You miss him when he's gone. Don't you." She comments, handing the photo back to Amy.
"Is it that easy to tell?"
"Sorta. Foster kids learn quick who they can trust and who wants to mess with them. I'm pretty good at reading people. With you, it's kinda like your mood changes. Nothing dramatic, but things don't seem to upset you as much when Ty's around. Or maybe it's just that you worry less. It's like he calms you."
"You might be right, Georgie." Amy shares after a bit as Georgie's comments take root.
"Has he called?" She enquires, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah, he called during their lunch break. Said he's running around like crazy. Scott must have had him sign up for every seminar and training session available today. He warned me that the last session ends at 7pm and that he'll probably be pretty wiped out by the time he gets back."
"So, no late-night chat?" Georgie asks. The concern trickling back into her voice.
"Probably not. But we'll still talk before bed. He knows I sleep better after hearing his voice." Amy shares, forcing a smile to keep Georgie from getting too worried.
Amy turns and looks out over the yard, her mind now occupied with Georgie's comments. Georgie studies her a bit longer, seeing the truth through the smile but appreciating the attempt.
"I'd better go check on Jack, he probably needs more bacon since I gave most of it to you. You sure you don't need anything else?"
"I'm good, Georgie. You've been a big help."
Georgie slides over and gives Amy a quick hug, then gets up, grabs the plate and heads back inside. A minute later she's headed to the barn to check on Phoenix. Her words continue to resonate in Amy's head and she sits back, lost in thought and feelings.
Amy remembers how it felt to come home from the hospital after her mom died. How home didn't feel like home anymore. How long it took her to forgive herself. All the missteps with Lou. And how she had to put up with this cocky new ranch hand. The juvenile delinquent who put the "mood" in "moody".
To say that her life was in shambles at the time would have been an understatement. The calmness of her mother's presence was replaced by an empty feeling house and so many questions. "What am I supposed to do now? If Lou's correct, we could lose the ranch because of unpaid bills. Can I even do what mom did? How am I going to handle school and working with trouble horses? What if I can't do it? Why am I hearing Lou talk about Dad? Do I even want to see him? How do I do anything when I don't even want to get out of bed? Why did Grandpa bring Spartan here? Why did Mom sponsor Ty?"
Having thought about it many times since Ty's arrival at Heartland, the best Amy could explain it was that Ty found all the pieces of her and gently put them back where they were meant to be. "He didn't put them back where they were before, but where they needed to go to help her move forward. Like encouraging me to get back into jumping with Spartan. I'd always done it with mom coaching me. But that wasn't possible anymore. So that part of me that loved jumping had to adjust." This uncharacteristic self-analysis came about as part of a school assignment. "Write about someone who had a big impact on your life." Amy wrote about her mom. But later on, she wrote about Ty. Adding more to his story as their relationship developed.
From her journal…
After mom died, I thought my world had ended. Mom was my role model. She could look at a horse for three minutes and know exactly what was wrong and how best to fix it. She could pretty much do the same with me. She listened. She made me feel loved and safe. Always safe. Always loved. But she was gone now and I felt so alone.
Then Ty came into my life. A moody juvenile delinquent who right away started bugging me about not doing my share of the chores. Bugged me about keeping Spartan penned up and said maybe I could take lessons on how to fix him. To be fair, I said he should take lessons on how to play the guitar.
But then he asked me about jumping. Said it wasn't lame to not want to because of my mom. Instead of dismissing my feelings, he showed me a different path for them. A way to heal by doing what I loved. He even built me a jumping course! Riding Spartan around that course was the happiest I'd felt since Mom died.
When Ty stood up for me at Ashleigh's party, I felt something new. We'd stepped outside and talked about strategies and angles and him being my coach. And I felt a tug on my heart for the first time. Was I falling in love with a juvenile delinquent? Short answer, YES!
Ty protected me too. In so many ways. He saved me from Promise, Ghost, rustlers and even wound up being arrested while trying to help me rescue Spartan after he was stolen.
Actions have consequences. People you love can get hurt. Or worse. Ty getting hurt because of me would be worse. He listens to me. He loves me and makes me feel safe. And I love him so much more than I ever thought possible. Pretty amazing since I couldn't imagine ever feeling love ever again.
That's where the journal entry ends. Amy left a number of blank pages after the entry because she knew there would be more to add. Something she couldn't put a name to all those years back.
The memory of that moment in the barn years ago played vividly in her mind. Ty showing up after being fired from Briar Ridge. I thought he was gone for good but there he was, just coming to get the riding helmet that Mallory had given him. He didn't know where he was going so, I asked him to stay. When he asked me why, I couldn't give him an answer. How do you put a name to something that is the lack of things? But I knew what I felt when he was with me and I wanted it back.
Sitting on the bench with her head back and eyes closed, more memories came, bringing with them all of the emotions of each moment. Each confirming what she already knew. Ty made her path forward seem much brighter and less scary. And he did that by simply being there by her side. He didn't have to say anything and often didn't. He just always seemed to know when she needed him.
The night I broke up with Caleb, I was sitting on the front porch. Ty was supposed to go hang with Kit but he just came out and sat down next to me. I remember looking over to confirm he was actually there. He stayed till I turned in for the evening. Then I watched him walk back to the loft from my bedroom window.
One night I was distractedly brushing a horse. My mind overloaded with the reality that I was being sued by Stuart Forester and how it might destroy Heartland. Ty was supposed to be studying for a test, but he came down from the loft, grabbed a brush and started helping me. Ty said something about Stuart being a bully and I remember feeling a lot better about things after that.
For two nights after Ty rescued me from the bear, he sat by the fire with me. We weren't dating and he could have been anywhere else. But he was there. That first night, I remember telling him "Thank you!" for saving me. He just brushed it off saying "No problem.". Typical, but I really wanted him to know how much that meant to me. All I could do was catch his eyes and smile. What I really wanted was for him to hold me.
I thought for sure he was going to leave when I lost my sight. Who wouldn't? He didn't though. He fought to bring me home so I could heal more quickly. He stayed by my side and told me that he was in it for the long haul. I didn't think I could love him any more, but I found a way after he said that. I think I cried myself to sleep. I felt so relieved and so so loved.
Like Georgie said, Ty calms me. When he's here, all the voices making me worry and doubt myself fade away. I have grown to cherish that feeling. Like feeling the warmth of the sun bursting through the clouds after a storm.
A minute later, Amy's thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a door slamming. She opens her eyes and sees Ty walking to the back of Scott's truck to grab his suitcase. She blinks several times, trying to confirm that she's not just imagining it. Ty thumps the side of the truck and Scott drives off.
Amy watches as he walks up onto the porch, sets his suitcase down by the railing and then sits down next to her. She feels that now familiar moment of calm wash over her. All the voices that nagged her these past days were gone. Ty was there next to her. She breathed in his scent.
"I've missed you." She said, pulling him in for a kiss to emphasize the point. It's a gentle kiss that slowly turns into something more urgent and needful. Amy puts her hands on the back his neck, drawing him closer. Ty wraps his arms around her and they stay that way for a minute or so.
Both eventually come up for air, with Ty breaking the silence.
"Wow! If this is the welcome I'm going to get each time, I think I'm going to have to leave more often."
"Don't you dare!" Amy says, poking him in the ribs.
"Hey, is that anyway to treat your long-lost husband?" Ty demands in mock seriousness while trying to avoid her attack.
"You weren't lost. But you are home early." She says, after a few more poking attempts. "I thought you had late training sessions today."
"I did. But one turned out to be for a technique I'd already learned on-line. The instructor for the second session is actually going to be in Hudson in a couple weeks and will give Scott and me a hands-on demonstration. So I called and got an earlier flight."
She smiles at him. That great big smile that shows exactly what's in her heart.
"I'm glad you're here."
"Me too."
They share another kiss. This time it is Ty cupping Amy's face in his hands like he did that very first time.
"Wow! Maybe you should leave." She grins. Remembering Grandpa's words about balance she offers "How about we go for a ride instead?"
"I thought you'd never ask." Came Ty's excited reply.
"You put your suitcase away, get Spartan and Harley tacked and I'll pack us some sandwiches. Did you eat on the plane?"
"Only peanuts and a soda. I'm starved."
"Then I'll pack some extra fruit and cookies."
They go their separate ways, anxious to get everything ready so they can disappear for the afternoon. Ty greets both Spartan and Harley upon entering the barn. Both come to the front of the stall, excited to see him. As is his habit, he enters each one's stall and does a quick assessment of their condition. He checks their legs and, grabbing a stethoscope from the shelf, listens to their heart, breathing and gut. All good.
"Amy's been taking good care of you two. You ready for a ride?" He asks as he gets each ready. The conversation continues as he shares what he's learned with them.
With Georgie's help, Amy quickly grabs everything needed for a late afternoon picnic. Sandwiches, apples and a half dozen freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Leaving Georgie to fill two travel mugs with lemonade, she runs to her bedroom for a moment and comes back with something wrapped in a plastic bag. Pausing to think for a bit, she carefully places the photo of her mom in the center of the bag to protect it. They then pack everything into a tote bag. Amy places the plastic bag on top.
They do a quick hug.
"Thanks Georgie." Amy says with a gentle squeeze.
"Go show Ty how much you missed him." Georgie replies with a knowing grin.
"Do your parents know you talk like that?" Amy quips, forcing a smile to hide a slight blush as she heads out the door.
"They're worse!" Georgie declares.
Amy gets to the barn just as Ty comes out leading both horses. He quickly takes the tote from Amy and begins to transfer the food to the saddle bags on Harley. Amy grabs the plastic bag and carefully puts it into an empty saddle bag on Spartan. Then helps Ty pack the rest of the food before they head out.
The path to their favorite spot being well worn, the horses need no instruction on how to get there. Ty and Amy ride side-by-side, hold hands as much as possible along the trail. Several times they pause to look out over the land, the late afternoon sun painting several beautiful landscapes along their path. As is their habit, their eyes eventually find each other and it ends with a kiss.
Getting to the top of the hill, they pick a shady spot near a grove of trees. Amy spreads out a blanket and they unpack the food and drinks. Sitting down next to each other, they begin the process of making sandwiches, grabbing bread slices, cold meat and cheese. Amy just has hers finished and is about to take a bite when Ty leans over and takes a huge bite out of it.
"Hey! That's my sandwich. You thief!" Amy declares. Moving it to her other hand and out of Ty's reach.
"Yours tastes so much better than mine!" Ty mumbles while trying very hard not to choke.
"And how would you know that since you haven't even finished yours yet." She inquires, trying not to smile too much. Then sneaking her own bite.
Ty finally manages to swallow and continues his defense. "I think it's more to do with the fact that I didn't have to make it." He offers with a huge smile that Amy finds hard to resist.
"Well, I think it's only fair that I get a bite out of yours. But you need to put more Mayo on it first. You're way to skimpy with the condiments." She says, handing him the jar and knife. Then poking him in the ribs for good measure. The playful banter continues as they finish each other's sandwiches and wash it all down with the lemonade.
Sandwiches eaten; they move on to the chocolate chip cookies. Amy grabs the container as Ty moves so he's leaning back against a tree. Amy disappears for a moment, then plops down in front of him. She grabs two cookies from the container, then leans back and hands one to him. A known and comfortable warmth spreads through both of them.
"Love these." Ty says, biting into his and tasting the dark chocolate.
"Love you more." Amy says, kissing his cheek.
"Love you most." Ty replies, kissing her back.
They devour two more cookies as Ty shares a new surgical technique he learned that morning. Amy listens attentively, offering an example of how the technique could be used, based on her evolving understanding of horse anatomy.
Surprised by her example Ty responds "Wow, you have been paying attention."
Thinking for a moment she responds "Anything you have to say. I'll listen." Then she adds, "I always listen because I always want to learn and you're a very good teacher."
"I think that works both ways, Amy. I've seen many times what you're able to do with horses and it always amazes me." Ty shares as he wraps his arms around her.
"I wasn't even sure I could do it. And to think how far I've come. How far we've come, Ty." She leans up and turns to look at him, getting serious for a moment. "I really miss you when you're gone. I know you have to travel to learn new techniques and I don't every want you to feel bad for being away but I need you to know that I miss you a lot when you're not with me."
"Is that why you've been parking on the bench in the afternoons this week?" Ty asks.
"Are you spying on me Dr. Bordon?" Amy asks, curious as to whom the spy might be.
"Just getting updates from one or more concerned citizens." Ty shares, unwilling to divulge his sources. Then continues the inquiry. "So what have you been thinking about, Amy?"
Needing time to put her thoughts together, she leans back against him again and he puts his arms around her.
"I'm just…. I don't know. Maybe worried that I don't know what I'm doing and if what I'm feeling is anything like normal and then I…" She pauses, not ready to admit how difficult the past couple days have been.
Ty kisses the back of her head then responds. "Amy, you are going to be a great mom. You have the most caring heart of anyone I know. And I guarantee that you will fall in love with the baby the moment you see her. Or him."
"Do you want a boy or a girl?" Amy asks.
"Doesn't matter." Ty says as Amy tilts her head for a kiss.
They go quiet for a moment before Ty shares a thought he's held for a long time.
"I think your mom is still here watching over you. I don't think she'll let anything bad happen and I know that you will be a wonderful mother. Exactly because of how she raised you."
They share another delicate kiss. Then Amy reaches into the plastic bag and pulls out the photograph of her mother. She hands it to Ty.
"I found it in a box of my mother's things this morning. Lou packed it all away and I think I was missing my connection to her."
"Wow, how old were you?"
"Three months, according to Grandpa."
Ty turns the photo over and reads the back. "From Lyndy with Love"
A bit confused, Ty asks. "That's your mom, Marian, right?"
"Yeah, I'd just had a bath and she brought me out on the porch to get some fresh air and sunshine."
Amy leans forward and reaches into the bag one more time and pulls out her baby blanket. The one in the photo. Turning sideways, she shows it to Ty. "I washed it in the same soap my mom used." She holds the folded blanket close and breaths in the gentle fragrance. Tears form and Ty reaches for her.
"Amy" he says in a gentle voice. She moves in closer as Ty wraps his arms around her. The wave of sadness she'd been fitting takes over and she begins to cry. Ty holds her close, easing her sadness with whispered thoughts and gentle kisses. "I miss her so much."
"I know you do. But she's still with you. You have her journal and so many memories that you've shared with me." The words help as the sadness fades into a feeling of peace.
Ty looks at the photo again. "Is your mom singing to you?"
Amy wipes her cheek on her sleeve and sits up. "Yeah, it's a song that Lyndy wrote and sang to my mom and my mom sang it to me.
"That explains the note on the back. Do you remember how it goes?"
Amy turns and leans back against Ty. Feeling his warmth helps push the sadness further away. Holding the blanket against her, she sings.
"There's a smile on my face,
For a baby. That's you.
There's a song in my heart,
For a baby. That's you.
I'll watch you grow, big and strong,
Every day. That's true.
Like the love in my heart,
For the baby, that's you!"
Ty hugs her close. "That's a beautiful song. You're going to be a great mom."
They sit like that for a while longer. Content to be as close as possible to each other. At one point Amy falls into a peaceful sleep. After she wakes up, she spends the rest of that warm afternoon showing Ty just how much she's missed him. And he, in turn shows her. And somewhere back at Heartland, Georgie is smiling.
Author's Note: One thing I always liked about Ty is that he seemed to know when Amy needed him and just show up. Even on occasions when he was supposed to be elsewhere. The story originated from that thought and then slowly morphed. I hope you enjoy it.
A special THANK YOU! to Scoutbooradley for the persistent gentle encouragement.