Insufficient words
Whenever I told Guinevere that I loved her, I got the impression that I was using the wrong words, not fully conveying the strength and depth of that feeling. Every time they rolled off my tongue, I was disappointed by them. No matter how hard I tried, they sounded dumb, comically inadequate. That's how the noble knights of all those ballads sung by bards might speak to their chosen ones, but for my Gwen there should be something different, something special. Something that would give me the guarantee that she really understood. A word as clear as an order, imbued with the meaning I gave it.
I had exactly the same problem with Merlin. I called him a friend, but here too the imperfection of human language was highlighted with clarity. In his bizarre insults, directed at me, there was sometimes much more than in this one word: friend. Poets write poems, they try to subdue things beyond the limits of human comprehension, to push power into the ranks of signs and sounds. Well... I'm not a poet, so I have to cope differently. But when, in the face of death, time shrinks dramatically and frail strength does not allow you to calm the trembling of the arms around you, it is better to express too little than nothing.
"I love you. Thank you", I said to Merlin, fighting an overpowering weakness. Did he hear? Did he understand? Perhaps he at least read these insufficient words from the movement of my lips?