With a flourish, Strawberry Shortcake took the top off her famous strawberry pie.
"Ugh, strawberries again?" Plum Pudding pouted. "Every damn day I come over here it's the fuckin' strawberry pie! Fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Don't you ever get tired of making the same ass strawberry pie!"
"Plum, chill out," Orange Blossom muttered.
"No! I walk up the road and it's a fucking strawberry manor. I open the door and Strawberry's in strawberry shorts, strawberry shoes, strawberry hat, strawberry apron - there are strawberries all over the fucking place. There are strawberries in your house, there are strawberries on your house… do you really want rats to take over? We live in fucking Strawberry Land, people! Ain't that enough for ya? I've eaten so many damn strawberries I spit seeds every time I brush my teeth!"
"And what do you have, Plum Pudding," Orange Blossom said evenly, giving her the side-eye.
"I have variety!"
"As if. You have so many damn plums around your house, just looking at it gives me the runs."
"Wh - gy - okay, this isn't about me. The show is called Strawberry Shortcake. I mean seriously, Strawberry - don't you ever get sick of them?"
Sick of them… sick of them… sick of them…
Everybody peeped Strawberry's reaction. Her face was as red as her strawberry hair. People had been pissing her off all day (and her cat), and now Plum's diatribe had sent her over the boiling jam edge.
"Why yes, as a matter of fact - I am sick of strawberries!" Strawberry yanked off her strawberry apron. "Huh?" She flung off her strawberry hat into the strawberry sink. "Huh?!" She lifted the strawberry pie over her head, smashing it onto the floor and stomping in it with her strawberry sneakers. "Huh? Huh?! Huh?!" She grabbed handfuls of strawberry filling and smeared it on the walls and ripped off the strawberry wallpaper. "Huh?!"
She took the fireplace poker and started knocking strawberry knick-knacks and berry bric-à-brac off the kitchen counter like a mad woman.
"I'm sick of all this strawberry shit!" She swung the six-torte tower off the table in a homerun.
Her friends cheered.
Strawberry ululated with her tongue and pounded on her chest. "Now let's do Plum's house!"
"Yeah!"
The four raced over to the Pudding residence and decimated every plum they could see, until they were dripping satisfaction and blue juice.
"To Raspberry's house!"
They did the same thing, beating off every offending fruit they could find, until they were dripping with purple juice.
"To Blossom's house!"
They did the same thing there, until they were dripping with orange juice.
"To Cherry's house!"
"Uh-uh!" Cherry Jam was sealed up tightly in her delicious, nutritious, Cherry-licious house. "You know how long it takes to move? I just got here!"
"Come on, Cherry," Strawberry said, psychotic now, twirling the firepoker. "I know you get tired of cherries sometimes… "
"No I don't! I'm perfectly happy living in Cherryville!"
"But - "
"Back up, bitches!"
"But - "
An enraged Cinnapup ran out, barking at the girls, teeth foaming.
"Hot damn!"
"Oh my God!"
"Damn thing's got rabies!"
"Let's get out of here!"