Unlike Sakura, Tomoyo is never a fan of sugar-coated snacks. She enjoys the contrast bitterness of tea when consumed with sweets and never the other way around.
But Tomoyo let a genuine smile slip from her when she saw the way Syaoran behaves around Sakura. How passionate, gullible and sickeningly sweet they are to each other. Tomoyo can be her second cousin, classmate, confidante for years but it is so obvious that she will never equate to what Syaoran and Sakura have in such a short time.
They belong together in the way the moon and the sea push and pull, subconscious chemistries, star crossed lovers whose fates are woven by the universe to have them where they are right now. Holding hands, finally. And it meant something different, from the way Sakura holds her hand a millionth times before.
A sickeningly sweet love story, pounds of sugar and cream, without a cup of black tea to balance it out, for years to come.
Sakura and Syaoran tied the knot when they were just 19 years old. It's too soon for anyone in the 21st century but you'll understand that it's to be expected for some very rare, free spirited couples like them. They live in a charming middle class apartment complex just outside of the city.
Li's family is a well known old money from Hong Kong but they wanted a life of their own. They stayed in the high rise Tokyo apartment Syaoran grew up in until he graduated from college and earned a job at an architectural firm. Sakura teaches a kindergarten near their apartment and they have been living independently ever since.
It's a stark contrast to the grandiose mansion Eriol inherited from his parents. "We have plenty, why don't you and your wife choose one? I recommend the one on west hill. Gorgeous view." His father said, referring to Daidouji-san as his wife when they've only recently been arranged into a surprise engagement party.
She's an accomplished student through and through, quiet in her wake, poise in her eloquence, and he's just the same but a boy. They do not hate each other, in fact they look quite agreeable to one another. Their parents expected them to date, and so they did.
She thinks he never notices but he does. Really, who wouldn't? The only time Eriol sees her face lights up is when she's around Sakura. The hopeless romantic and the obliviously charming heroine. Eriol just knows that somewhere in the tv guide it's a premise for a drama. Except the sad puppy eyed sidekick gets to express their feelings at one, peak climax moment of angst and they end up hugging each other. Because in that world, the heroine does not feel pity, she feels love.
She thinks he doesn't notice but he does, him and everyone else. Eriol kept his quiet, he's sure that she knows it will never develop into anything more. Though he noted in one rare, peaceful afternoon where he gets to be alone with a book he's been so eager to read, that he forgot about the tea he prepared and the cup was still warmer than Daidouji-san's hand.
They are not children of misdemeanor. Polite, well behaved, knows when to shut up, neither of them are known to be witty. And so they swallowed any kind of protests when they put on the engagement rings to each other. Eriol noticed that his mother's secretary was disappointing, she said nothing but the ring size was wrong.
His mother chose for her a simple A-line wedding dress, with spaghetti straps, off-shoulder illusion neckline and empire waistline. There's minimum lace around the skirt, where it only falls on ankle length, while the train was kept on sweep length. No one asked for his opinion but he approved of their choice to tailored from the pure-white shade of white, it suits her. It's the brightest kind of white and the bluish-purple hue only compliments her darker than night hair. She looks beautifully miserable in it, her skin looks cold and even more translucent. It's only appropriate, really.
On their wedding night, he helped unbutton the back of her dress. He realized it never needed to be puffed or helped carry the train through the ceremony and dinner at all. Eriol watches her slump onto the velvet loveseat in their honeymoon suite. Tomoyo, he reminded himself. Her given name, from now on. Tomoyo does not completely shed the dress, he sees that she looks like being finally at ease. Almost... slouching even. Something he never expects from her, but can tolerate.
He got out of his own suit and changed into the casual clothes he brought. Eriol made sure there's enough water bottles for her to hydrate, the suitcase of clothes change arrived in their room, and her make-up cleanser. Before bidding his farewell he told Tomoyo that he's going to be near if she needs anything but for now, Goodnight.
Eriol took the elevator downstairs, careful not to be seen by the wedding guests or their parents and asked for the cheapest room near the honeymoon suite. He paid cash, preventing unnecessary incessants in the future. He called their room via the phone in his newly acquired room, he told her his new room number (if she needs anything) and passed out until after dawn.
He snuck back inside in the morning. She's still asleep, the wedding gown was laid on the loveseat and he assumes it's too heavy for her to secure properly in the given box, she was looking very tired last night.
He took a shower then made tea for three servings in the pot. She got up just before 7, and he smiled at her like he always does. Tomoyo returned the polite, empty smirk.
When she got out of the shower, Tomoyo noticed her wedding dress had been tucked neatly in the box and there was an additional cup.
"Thank you, for securing the wedding dress, it was too heavy for me." Tomoyo took the cup without addressing it.
They had breakfast with their respective in laws, it was such a lovely morning. The hotel was beautiful, a fine resort by the sea despite being mildly cloudy. From their table Eriol can see there's an outdoor wedding preparation taking place, he wish it would rain horses and elephants. But they're all having such a good time that no one noticed that Tomoyo's finger didn't hold the ring.
In their mansion, they slept in different, equally pretty rooms. It was initially reserved for guests, Tomoyo's mother arranged one for herself for when she's visiting but the closet is now stuffed with Tomoyo's ribbons and designer dresses. The much prettier master bedroom is untouched, "For forever." the maids would say. It only need dusting once in a while.
They are compatible housemates really, they grew care for one another. Eriol never deny anything Tomoyo ask for, because he trusts her and her judgements. If she thinks the centerpiece with five times worth is better than the next, then it simply is. She proved herself to be meticulous and thorough multiple times already. Whenever they have someone coming over, the expensive centerpiece does receive the warmest compliments, how it goes with the lighting and theme they would say.
Eriol trusts her, Tomoyo respects him. Their parents love their in laws. there is nothing to be contested but it's cold. Everything is proper and fine, but Tomoyo is exhausted beyond words.
Six months after the lavish wedding, a pink laced envelope arrived and was brought to Tomoyo-san's (mother's) room. She tore it as if disregarding the delicate choice of fonts and color as soon as her eyes saw Sakura is the sender. It's a girl and they're having a baby shower six weeks before the baby's due date. They're both invited. It's a girl.
She opens the door to his room before his usual time to wake up. She never saw him asleep, she just realized. Almost half a year they were married, She never saw him asleep.
But she didn't came here to marvel at the way his dark eyelashes sweeps the pale cheeks just below.
She pulled on his pajama bottom, saw a pair of navy colored boxer shorts. It snug a shape she didn't see often. As if scared of extending her arm, Tomoyo's pale fingers reaches out with all their might, attempting to trace the soft form of the shaft.
Eriol's eyes shot open, but he kept his quiet. He wish to understand her intention, but she tuck her arm back in and Eriol can feel Tomoyo-san shifting her weight trying to get out of his bed.
He pull her by the same arm back in to his bed. She does not look surprised at all. It's almost as if it was her initial intention. For God's sake, Eriol thinks as he's kissing his wife's collar bone for the first time. One stroke was all it took for him. He never thought of himself as a man of desire, nor someone who would desire Tomoyo-san. Someone with such complicated, unrequited love she will never get over.
But that changes some things. Eriol visited her room sometimes. Though the master bedroom is still left untouched.
He also found out that he can still kept it hard even when he's angry at her.
He doesn't understand her. Why does she seek this from him? He thought she would only enjoy Sakura's presence. He thought, on their wedding night and for the rest of their married life, she would hate this kind of sex. Him and his heterosexual oriented brain thought Tomoyo-san will only shiver by the gentle touch of that one girl, who smells like dried flower petals and squeal, blushing in feminine sighs together. But here she is, riding him on a Tuesday night just like any other married couples do when they're bored. Eriol asks her to turn around so he can see her face but she ignores it.
Coming down from the high, Eriol thought of a possible theory that made him feel sick. Could it be that Tomoyo is sleeping with him to punish herself? She never declines when he visits her. Not once.
He felt all too anxious all of a sudden. The dawn light outside of Tomoyo's room is cold. It's a bluish, depressing hue reminding him of Tomoyo-san's wedding dress.
He looked back at their marriage. He was careful with her, because he knows, he knows about her eternally, painful unrequited love, everybody knows it. Well not their parents, but everyone else. He never said no to her spending, never limited her time spent outside, visiting Syaoran's wife in the city, he never told her no.
Maybe it's just the situation. She punishes herself with his body because he is in fact, her husband. His body is the easiest, closest thing available to relieve her frustration.
In a way, it made him feel a little better than before. The possibility that he made her feel safe, even though there's a significant chance that she views him as a punishment tool to torture herself, he wish it wasn't. He likes to think that her sighs are genuine, her willingness is not out of marital duty, let alone act of self harm.
But he choose to confront her, and he finds out that Tomoyo-san gives better head when she's angry at him.
It changes something between them. Eriol came to a private conclusion that those literature works have a point all along. This is what they were saying when two people came in to share themselves to the other, shedding formalities with clothes. He's aware that some people can enjoy it without getting their feelings involved like practicing tennis together and he understood that but he would argue that it does not mean it doesn't affect their dynamic.
There's an unmistakable intimacy between them now. Something about seeing each other's face when they're chasing that familiar high, or when he licks the sweat on her abdomen and leaves her writhing. Their rendezvous change the way they see each other with clothes on. Around their respective in-laws, around... dare he say even around Sakura?
For some reason he felt like choking when he sees her in proper and functional settings.
He views the sex they just had before meeting their in laws, or after a bad day was sort of a catharsis to Tomoyo-san. She tries too hard to pretend like it doesn't faze her, and by default pressuring him to act the same. But it did affect both of them, in more ways than one. He feels suffocated whenever he saw her looking prim and proper in her tweed dress suit. As if she hadn't had his cum on the edges of her hair just a couple of hours ago, complimentary of him grabbing frantically to catch his breath.
Or whenever she smells like No. 19, chit chatting with their secretary on the upcoming dinner gala in their house. But while barely listening he's remembering the way his room smells, when she gushes out liquid that looks like urine but it's not and he wishes to lick it off of her but he knows that would be too much for them. So he inhaled it then, and came to despise every perfume in her room because he thinks they're actively trying to make him forget.