Warnings: AU, TWT, angst, shonen ai, some language, mentions of yaoi.
Author's Notes: My muses spent a LONG time vacationing with Shira's muses. Duo and Wufei finally decided to come back and they brought with them the inclination to write this little fic start to finish. Don't blame me!
Main Pairing: 2+5
Dedication: This fic is dedicated to Shira for sending my muses back to me and to Rhina for allowing me to care about her. The part of Vow is written in memory of Patches.
Dark Clouds and Silver
A Gundam Wing Fic
By: Yuuki Miyaka
Chapter Two
"Checkmate," Duo said quietly, surprising Wufei. The golden-skinned pilot stared at the chessboard, then looked up at Duo. In all their time together as pilots, Wufei had never realized just how intelligent Duo really was, as this particular chess match proved. Not that the three Duo had consecutively won before didn't have something to do with his realization. Wufei merely nodded, resetting the board and rising.
"We should eat." They'd been together for three days now, barely speaking beyond the necessities. Duo had even been cajoled into the game by a Wufei who was finding himself more and more impressed at the indigo-eyed boy's self-control. Duo rose at Wufei's comment, nodding once. There were no smiles of victory and no chatter as they made their way to the kitchen. Wufei had quickly learned that if there were ingredients in the house for Duo to work with, it was best to leave the cooking to him. Instead, Wufei busied himself setting the table for a meal and wondering at Duo's evasiveness when it came to any sort of discussion.
As they sat down, Duo surprised him once more, but this time, it was a pleasant surprise. Duo began to speak! "You still do those exercises in the morning?" he asked quietly, inviting Wufei's answer without looking at him. Wufei contemplated said answer for a few moments. In truth, he hadn't exercised in perhaps two months, not since the nightmares had truly begun to take their toll on him. On the other hand, though, Duo seemed to want him to. The only question was, did he consider himself ready to go back?
"Yes. Would you care to join me?" The words were out almost before he could decide, and Wufei was stunned to find himself meaning them. Though he didn't like this new, sober Duo, Wufei knew that he was still enjoying having someone around to talk to.
"I thought you maybe would teach me how to defend myself better. Can't go around all the time in a Gundam, right?" Duo's joker face was back, briefly, but it only served to sadden Wufei.
"No, of course not. I'll be happy to teach you, Maxwell." The rest of the meal passed in silence, each of them considering the other thoughtfully.
It hurt. Oh Ancestors, it hurt. Wufei sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep from screaming as the hands continued to prod at him. They seemed to be practically everywhere, pushing at bruises and broken bones until fire exploded in his body. "Stop," he pleaded, well-aware that he sounded pathetic. Aware he was begging, he who never begged for anything. The aristocratic upbringing he'd had wouldn't permit it.
Still the hands continued, but the quality of the touch changed from painful to gentle. Had his keepers returned him to his cell without him knowing? Had he blacked out long enough for them to leave him alone? But he couldn't remember another prisoner. He'd been the only one on the mission, much less the only one captured.
"Relax, Wufei. It's just me." The voice was Maxwell's, but Wufei couldn't quite believe it. Duo always called him 'Fei or Wu or some other ridiculous shortening of his given name. "You're just having a bad dream."
Dream? It was a dream? Of course. He was still living in the past. With the thought came the slow ability to force himself into wakefulness . . .
"Duo?" he rasped, unaware he'd called Duo by his Christian name, unaware of anything as he tried to pull his brain out of the past. He marveled at its reluctance to join him in the present.
"You were shouting. You woke me." The simple words sent him tumbling back to the small bedroom he'd gone to sleep in. He looked up at Duo and was stunned at the quantity of compassion in the blue-violet eyes.
"Sorry," he mumbled, slowly sitting up and glancing at the clock before sighing. Yet another restless night ahead of him. It was his own fault, he supposed. At least now Duo could go back to bed. But the braided man sat beside him, staring out the window.
"What are your dreams about, Wufei?"
"Call me 'Fei, Duo." The order slipped out before Wufei realized, and he blushed faintly as he tried to decide what to tell Duo. There was the faintest hint of a smile, but the smile meant more than Wufei would ever have believed. It made his chest swell with pride, made him want to reach over to Duo and . . . and what? He shook his head to clear it, then began to answer Duo. "Mostly, they're about loneliness. Memories of the war, I suppose, and the pain it brought everyone."
"I know loneliness," Duo supplied, to Wufei's surprise. "Spent the entire damned war trying to prevent it." When Wufei turned to face him, Duo chuckled bitterly. It should have been a bright, boisterous sound. Wufei had always remembered Duo's laughter as a shining, sunny thing. But instead, this laughter was dark with self-hatred, clouded with self-pity. "First Quatre, but he was Trowa's soulmate from the time they were both born. How the hell are you supposed to fight a soulmate?" The question was rhetorical, so Wufei didn't bother trying to answer it. Instead, he nodded. "Then Heero. Now that was a dumbass mistake," Duo went on, the bitterness turning so cold that the headboard of Wufei's bed should have grown icicles. "I should've seen it, you know. He didn't know he was leading me on. And Relena didn't have a clue we were even together. He was supposed to meet me two weeks after peace was declared for a private . . . 'celebration.' Instead, I got a letter inviting me to their damned wedding!"
So they WERE together. Wufei filed that piece of information away, then turned back to Duo. "So I put my sins behind me," Duo was continuing, "and went to seminary school. I figured it was a good tribute to . . . to the people I had killed." Wufei had caught the hesitation, but decided it wasn't his business. Duo would share that part of his past when he was ready to, just as he'd started to share this part.
"What happened?"
"Some assholes caught me at a bus stop with my textbooks. Said that anyone with long hair had to be a fag. When they saw the books, they decided I must be in seminary just so that I could prey on young boys once I'd graduated." The contempt in Duo's voice was clearly just as directed toward himself as at his persecutors. "Wu . . . 'Fei, what if they were right? God knows, I'm as gay as they come. What if I'd started . . . started . . ." His voice broke, but it was enough. Wufei cursed the people who'd hurt Duo so much and started to draw the chestnut-haired man into his arms. But suddenly, Duo twisted away.
"I . . . uh . . . I'd better check on the hot chocolate!" Duo gasped, swallowing and not meeting Wufei's eyes. He all-but-ran to the kitchen, leaving behind him a very confused and very pained Wufei, who was realizing that he was just beginning to scratch the surface of Duo's emotional problems.
Five a.m. rolled around early for Duo and Wufei. They'd stayed up another two hours after Wufei's nightmare first woke them, playing chess and each thinking on what they'd talked about that night. Wufei had seen self-recrimination in Duo's gaze each time their eyes met, and had slowly plotted out a course that would include a self-cleansing ritual for Duo. Clearly, the American needed it. And the cleansings had always managed to get rid of Wufei's nightmares for a couple of months at least whenever he tried them.
He'd been taught that nothing was truly traditional in cleansing rituals. As long as it was wholesome, healthy, and helped you clear your head, anything was fair game. Over the years, Wufei had tried everything from steam baths to fasting before finally settling on a schedule that fit for him. It usually included several days of fasting and steam baths interspersed with healthy eating, workouts, and painting. He suspected, however, that Duo would need something both more spiritual and more physical. Perhaps something like working for the local homeless shelter or giving of his time to a church could be included in his own ritual?
It was worth a try, Wufei decided, as he noted the dark circles under Duo's eyes. Loneliness . . . They shared the problem in common, and perhaps a friendship might do them both good. Wufei nodded, then spoke quietly. "Before you begin the actual learning, you must undergo a cleansing. It will help to clear your mind and spirit and put your feet on the proper path. Are you willing?"
Duo thought for a long minute, then nodded slowly. "Yes, Wufei," he said formally, regarding Wufei with a solemn reverence that shook the sable-eyed man. This would, indeed, be interesting.