A/N: I wrote this for a friend, but she is not around my area and I can't e-mail it to her. I will remove this later unless you crazies out there actually like it. It's a blatant multiple insertion of myself and two friends. I wasn't planning on posting it but circumstances have risen and her I am posting this little piece of insanity.
I do not condone Mary Sues/SIs' unless they are done as a joke or for the entertainment of friends.
The Things I do for Friends.
"The court calls Aza, serial number 342-B-8423628-GE-7 to approach for evaluation."
The spectators turned to see the tall-ish female Irken walk silently up to the table set before a Tallest. She wasn't on trial, this was an evaluation of her sanity.
"I don't know why you bother to come here." Zeta said to Axia who was beside her. "It's not like she's ever going to prove she's okay."
Axia was a good deal shorter than Zeta. She was a Semi-Tallest and Zeta was a Tallest.
Zeta had on a rather informal 'Tallest' uniform with mostly bluish colors to it. Axia wore a red and black 'Semi-Tallest' uniform. It was a cross between Invader and Tallest.
They had been around each other since their 'Second day Orientation' after they had been initialized.
"Oh come on, it's for moral support." Axia said. "Besides, who else is going to keep the guards from tranquilizing her when she freaks out again."
"Did they restrain MD?" Zeta asked as she watched Azas' physiatrist approach the panel of Tallest.
"He's in an isolation ward supposedly turned off until this is over. They didn't want him in storage. You know how he has a habit of turning back on."
"The court calls for the appointed test."
Both females turned and expected the worst.
The female Aza balked before she entered the elevator. It was one that had been installed to allow guests up to the balcony. The doors started to close.
"Mother of Irk let me out!" Aza shrieked. There was the sound of metal being bent out of shape.
Guards rushed in and tried to keep Aza from leaving the elevator and the muzak that was torturing her.
"Order! Order!" The Tallest shouted.
"She bit me!" A Guard screamed. Blood gushed from a wound on his hand.
"The court finds no reason to allow Aza GE-7 back on duty until she can fulfill the requirements that have been set for her."
There was a pitiful sound from the female Aza as she was lead away. But then her anger surfaced and her right eye twitched. "I'll get you Zember!" She screamed at her physiatrist. "You! You!" Her jaw clenched shut and she growled in his general direction as she was taken off.
"As tradition demands, we ask who will take Aza GE-7 as a dependant until her next hearing."
Axia stood up. "I Axia 321-A-4472728-VD-3 will take Aza GE-7 as a dependent."
The Tallest nodded. "So be it. Bring in the next one."
"Well that was memorable." Zeta said. "Come on Axia, let's go see how she is this time."
Both females stood up, one taller than the other and left.
"Poor Aza, after her Musacia assignment, she's just berserk." Zeta said as they headed to the isolation ward that they had taken Aza to. It was the same one her beloved SIR unit had been held in.
"She's not right. I mean she named her SIR 'Mechanical Death' for crying out loud." Axia said as they rounded a corner. "But still, she's not all bad. Unless she hears elevator muzak."
"Or gets put on hold, or is in a mall, or a department store, or a."
"Alright, I get the point."
They came to a door labeled 'WAITING' and went in.
"I hope they turned off the music in there, she'll have torn it up by now."
The Irken behind the desk shot up and saluted them. He was much shorter than them therefore he was dirt.
"We are here to collect Aza GE-7." Axia said.
"Sir, yes Sir!" The littler Irken said dashing off.
"So what are you and you-know-who up to tonight?" Axia asked as they waited.
"Oh he's busy tonight. You heard that Zim returned last night didn't you? It's a real disaster, he's taller now!"
Axias' eyes went wide. "Zim? I thought he was dead. But he's taller? How much taller?"
"A good two inches taller than you."
"Oh that's bad."
Zeta nodded.
"I said let me go before I tie your antenna in a way that they'll have to cut them to get them loose!"
"Sounds like Aza's okay."
The female called Aza stormed into the waiting room. She wore a larger version of the Invader uniform and open finger gloves. By her side a small black, silver, and yellow SIR unit followed.
"Aza, stop threatening the shorter one." Zeta said. "You're scaring him."
The short male Irken was actually flustered at being around so many females at once. Tall females at that.
Axia poked Aza in the shoulder. "You lasted two extra seconds this time. That's good."
Aza pushed her hand away. "I can't believe I freaked again. I'm an Invader for Bleshas' sake!" She glanced around. "So, what did I miss while I was locked up?"
Her little SIR unit MD had at this time started giving the short male dirty looks.
"Didn't you hear? Zim returned." Zeta said. She was glad she hadn't brought any of her SIRs. MD had a bad habit of trying to destroy any other SIR unit around.
Aza blinked. "Zim? For real?" She paused. "I thought he was dead."
"So did I!" Axia said shrugging. "Apparently he's separating the love trigs for tonight." She grinned up at Zeta.
Aza giggled.
"That's not funny." Zeta growled. She stormed out of the waiting room.
The other females grinned and followed her. MD walked along side them glaring as hard at anyone in the way as a SIR unit could.
"I don't see why you're so upset." Axia said.
Zeta suddenly whirled around. "Wouldn't you be upset if I mentioned how you and Veer carry on at every spare moment you're alone? Hmmm Axia?"
The Semi-Tallest blinked. "Oh hey come on! We're just friends!"
Aza just snickered. "You're both funny."
Axia pushed Aza. "Oh be quiet you. You're lucky I keep claiming you as a dependent."
Zeta grabbed both of her shorter friends by the collars of their uniforms. "Come on. I want to make it to home before nightfall."
* * *
Zeta sat back in the over stuffed chair. It was night since they were planet side on Irk. She was trying to concentrate on the image on the little screen she held but it was of little use.
"Stupid Zim and his stupid return." She muttered changing the channels.
She silently wondered what Aza and Axia were doing.
Ever since Aza had returned from Musacia as a total wreak she had been living with Axia. Of course the very moment Aza had set foot on Irk she had unexplainably run screaming away from her Voot runner into the crowd. She eventually had smacked right into Zeta and clung to her not letting go till she had been given a tranquilizer.
Axia had found it all hilarious at the time.
Once they found out what had happened Axia offered to take in her fellow Semi-Tallest till she was better. It was going to be a long stay.
In any case Aza was probably showing Axia how to hot wire a Voot Runner or Axia was trying to help Aza stay around muzak without running screaming into the night. Either way it would have been interesting to watch.
She was about to turn off the little screen when a pair of thin hands clamped over her eyes.
"Guess who." A male voice said from behind her.
She pulled his hands off her eyes and got up wrapping her arms around his neck. "Purple!" She squealed. "I thought you were going to be gone dealing with Zim till tomorrow."
He nodded. "I was, but you know how things go. Zim is being held in isolation. We told him it was quarantine and that we want to make sure he's not infected with anything. He bought it of course."
"We all thought he was dead." Zeta said as they sat on the couch.
"I wish!" He put an arm around her shoulder. "That little menace has been plaguing us since he was born! His first mission and he blows half a planet up! How did he do that is what I want to know. I mean all he had was , mmph..." He was cut off by a kiss from Zeta.
She let the kiss break and curled closer. "You've been gone for five days and all you can talk about is Zim?"
He smiled. "Oh, I think we can talk about something else."
She giggled. "Who said anything about us talking?" She kissed him again.
His thin fingers worked their way along the clasps of her casual uniform. "No one said anything...about..." His sentence trailed as he got the last clasp open.
* * *
"Now put that wire there."
Zeta could identify Axias' voice as she went into the Second level apartment.
There was the sound of electricity. "OW!"
"It's not that bad." Axia said.
Axia tended to go into to philosophy in her spare time. She had lived alone for a long time with only her little SIR around with her. She did go out and 'socialize' with Zeta and even with that male Veer. Now she had to keep an eye on Aza who had a tendency to disappear.
Zeta peeked into the small lab that every Second level apartment had for Semi-Tallest. Bigger ones were in the First level apartments for Tallest.
Both Semi-Tallest were trying to repair a toaster that MD had taken apart last night. The little SIR was sitting in the corner.
Axias' SIR Yit was standing on the table and quoting repair tips when asked.
MD tilted back his head. "That Verching toaster isn't worth it."
"MD! Bad SIR!" Axia scolded.
"What are you two doing?" Zeta asked.
Aza spun around faster than the other two expected. "Hi Zeta!" Her right eye twitched a little. "What are you doing here?"
"Verching!" Yit suddenly chirruped.
Zeta gave Yit a funny look. "Okay, what have you two been doing to her?"
"It wasn't us." Axia said sliding the defunct toaster off the table. "It was however MDs' fault." She glared at Aza. "He keeps cursing, she keeps repeating."
"Not my fault." Aza said defensively.
"Yes it is, you reprogrammed him."
Aza grinned. "Oh yeah." She slid up onto the lab table. "So, what'cha doin?" She asked Zeta.
"Oh nothing. Purple came home last night though."
The other females immediately perked up.
"Oh really?" Aza asked.
"Yes really, not that I'm going to tell either of you what happened."
Axia smirked. "You will eventually."
"You never tell me what happens between you and Veer."
Axia opened her mouth to comment but was interrupted when Aza jumped off the table squealing.
"Oh no!" She tapped her wristband and the time appeared above her palm in holo. "I'm late for my rehabilitation class!" She bolted out of the room. "Bye!"
MD scrambled out of his chair and clattered after her.
"Didn't she fail four whole courses of that already?" Zeta asked.
Axia nodded. "Mmyep, she sure did. But the court won't allow her to have a hearing unless she goes to them, fail or not."
"So anyway." Zeta leaned against the table. "Tell me about Veer."
Axia glared.
* * *
Aza burst through the door to her class panting. MD slammed into her legs unable to stop quickly enough.
"How kind of you to join us GE-7." A rather spindly Irken male, Derl YW-5 hissed.
"Sorry." She sat down quickly in one of the many free desks. There were two others in her class both were ex-invaders like her. A female by the name of Keel 624-T-4862638-VR-7 and a male Cur 111-I-0009638-RD-3.
"I'd like to introduce a new student to this pathetic class, GW-2."
A Semi-Tallest male came in dressed rather oddly for an Irken. He had some blue pants made of some material Aza couldn't identify. He also wore a dark green shirt with a dark blue one over it. The blue one was open and looked like it should be button closed. He didn't wear boots but something like a childs' footwear. But he did wear gloves, though the fingers were cut open like hers.
"My name is Zim you Miss. Bitters reject." He muttered. He took a seat next to Cur and immediately looked bored.
There was a clattering sound outside the door and a little silver and blue SIR unit waddled in.
"Ooo!" Gir went up to MD immediately intrigued by this other SIR unit.
MDs' right hand transformed into a multi-tool.
"Mechanical Death! You leave that unit alone! Come over here and you sit down!" Aza yelled.
MD looked at her, then at Gir who suddenly hugged him. The more angry of the two SIRs wiggled free of Gir and went to sit where he was told.
Bye the end of the class Aza was banging her head on the table. Keel was asleep. Cur had actually managed to get a bathroom pass and had yet to come back. Zim was too busy inspecting the oddest writing utensil any Irken had ever seen.
"Now leave my site you stink worms, or face detention." Derl YW-5 hissed pointing to the door.
Aza kicked Keels' table before getting up.
The other female bolted out of the room her little SIR following her.
"Gir, come here." Zim looked under the tables. "Gir? Where are you?"
Aza looked down at MD. "MD, my little SIR, who would never EVER lie to me. Did you do something to any other SIRs?"
"No mistress." MD said.
"I'm up high master!" A little voice chirruped.
Zim looked up. "Gir! Get down from there!"
Aza giggled. This Gir had gotten himself tangled in the overhead lighting wires. She went over to Zim. "Hey Zimmy, I see you still can't get any good help."
He immediately glared at her. Then he looked surprised. "Az?"
She grinned. "Hey! You remember me!"
"You got taller."
"So did you."
He shrugged. "They told me it was nutrient driven hormone imbalances."
She nodded. "I was told that too. So what's with the clothes?"
He looked down. "Oh, it's the common wear on the planet Earth where I had been sent." He glared up at Gir. "For the last time Gir! Get down here!"
There were a few snapping sounds and Gir crashed to the ground. "Weeeee oof!" He squealed on the way down.
"He's, different." Aza commented.
"He's supposed to be advanced. But he's defective. But he keeps things interesting." Zim said picking Gir up. He motioned to MD. "What's up with him?"
She was at first confused by his dialect then understood. "Mechanical Death, I call him MD. He was my shield against." She shivered. "Muzak."
"Hmmm, yes a shield. Gir did help keep the madness at bay. Sometimes."
"I told you worthless beings to get out!" The 'teacher' hissed.
Aza who was used to being harassed by this particular being and Zim who was used to one quite similar left the classroom.
"So, you're up for the Semi-Tallest title to?" Aza asked.
Zim nodded. "Once I reached this height I was ordered back." He looked disappointed. "I had so much to do there Aza, I almost had it!"
"Musacia was a push over." She said. "It was almost too easy. But it took three years for the armada to come." She wrapped her arms around herself. "They were all so damn happy!"
He gave her a sympathetic look.
"Anyway, who claimed you as a dependent while you're in the program?" She asked.
"No one." He said sounding almost depressed. "I stay in quarantine while I'm not in the classes." He gave her a sideways look as they walked through the many hallways. "Were you claimed?"
She nodded. "Her name is Axia. When I finally returned to Irk I, well I went a little berserk." She cracked a smile. "I managed to gain the sympathy of her and her friend Zeta who is a Tallest."
Zim looked impressed. "Now why does that name sound familiar?" He asked.
"She was rumored to have a love interest in the Almighty Tallest one Purple." Aza said. "Since our time away it's been confirmed." She winked at him.
"You mean like the ones about us back at the academy?" He asked giving her a sly look.
She pushed at him as they walked. "Yeah, exactly the same. You know even your time away at Foodcourtia didn't make those go away."
He shrugged.
"Oh I have an idea!" Aza said.
"I like ideas." He said as they rounded a corner.
"Not that kind of idea." She said giving him a look.
He smirked. "Okay fine, what's your idea?"
* * *
"You want me to what?" Zeta asked rather loudly.
"Claim Zim as a dependant." Aza said.
"Why on Mother Irk should I claim Zim as a dependent?" Zeta yelled. "He's always in trouble with the Tallest, he almost killed off everyone in the Eastern Hemisphere during 'Impending Doom One'! Not to mention he's a vicious little maniac!" She glared at Zim who was in fact still in the room. "No!"
"Please?" Aza asked.
"Why can't Axia do it?" Zeta asked glancing at her friend.
Axia shook her head. "I wouldn't be allowed to have Co-Ed dependents unless there was a large genetic relation between them. Zim and Aza are not related enough to make it to that category. Only 28% basic genetic similarity."
Zeta crossed her arms. "Well, I have to talk to Purple."
Aza brightened. "Yay!"
"That dose not mean I'll do it!"
"So what? Close enough!"
Axia shook her head. "You go run this by The Almighty one Zeta. I'll watch them."
Zim turned blankly back to the kitchen. "I need a drink." Aza followed him.
Zeta nodded and headed out the door bumping into the Semi-Tallest Veer.
"Oh, Tallest Zeta! How nice to see you." He stepped out of her way. "Is Axia home?"
She went past him hurriedly. "Of course she is. Go on in, I'm sure she's waiting for you." She disappeared out of sight around a corner before he could say anything else.
* * *
"I don't see why you're agreeing to this." Purple said as he and Zeta stopped in front of Axias' door.
"You said I could help out if I felt like it." She brushed his face with her hand and straightened his uniform top. "Besides you're going to talk to Zim, I don't want you threatening him with death, maybe some mutilation but Aza is too attached to him for death."
"Okay no death. And stop that. I'm a leader of the Irken Empire, I can put my own clothes on straight."
She gave him a look. "You can put them on by yourself but you need help taking them off?"
He opened his mouth to comment but she stopped him. "We've been standing out here long enough." She opened the door. "Axia, I'm back. Axia?"
"She's in her room!" A slightly slurred male voice said.
"And so is Veer!" A second but decidedly female voice cried out.
Zeta and Purple looked into the kitchen finding Zim and Aza sitting beside each other obviously drunk.
Purple picked up one of three empty bottles. "Inerian Vodka." He set it down and waved a hand in Zims' face.
Zim bobbed his head trying to keep up with the motion.
Aza giggled a little. "We were, plhayen a ghame." She said holding up one of four empty shot glasses. "Zimmy taught us it."
Zim nodded. "Earth 'Spin tha Bottle'." He paused. "Sort of."
Zeta raised an eyebrow. "Do tell."
"Ya spin the bottle." Zim said demonstrating by spinning one of the empty bottles on the table. While it spun he poured some of the clear liquid from a half-empty bottle into a shot glass. The bottle stopped spinning, rolled off the table and shattered on the floor.
"Oops!" Aza squealed.
Zim shrugged. "Oh well." He downed the shot and then pulled Aza into a kiss. Then he passed out on the table.
Aza patted him on the head. "It's okay Zimmy." Her head made a hollow 'Thunk' sound as it hit the table.
"That was different." Purple commented.
"We can't just leave them there." Zeta said.
"I'll call up some guards to move them." He commed the security level.
Suddenly a scream pierced the air. Purple turned to the sleeping quarters as a laser appeared in his hand. He was without his guards this time and always carried one even with them around.
"What was that?" He asked.
"Sounded like Axia." Zeta said.
Purple headed in the direction the scream had come from. He trained the laser on the first thing that moved.
"Warning, Secondary Mistress Axia denies access to anyone." MD said from his guard post.
A second scream sounded. Only now it didn't sound panicked, it sounded...
"Well, in that case." He said quietly as he turned away. "It's all clear Zeta. They're fine."
The front door slid open and a couple of guards came in. "You called for us my Tallest?" One of them asked.
"Yes." He motioned to the table where Zim and Aza were. "These two are intoxicated. See to it that the female is placed in her room and that the male is on the couch. Do not under any circumstances disturb the room with the SIR unit in front of it."
The two guards nodded.
"Oh and if any of you speak a word of this I'll have your heads mounted on my 'Wall of Idiot Guards'. Understand?"
"Yes my Tallest!" The two said in unison before going to their appointed tasks.
Zeta sighed. "This wasn't how I thought this would go."
"Well at least this way I get to think some more on my 'speech' to Zim." He put an arm around her shoulder. He shook the half-empty bottle he carried as they left. "In the mean time, let's play a game."
I do not condone Mary Sues/SIs' unless they are done as a joke or for the entertainment of friends.
The Things I do for Friends.
"The court calls Aza, serial number 342-B-8423628-GE-7 to approach for evaluation."
The spectators turned to see the tall-ish female Irken walk silently up to the table set before a Tallest. She wasn't on trial, this was an evaluation of her sanity.
"I don't know why you bother to come here." Zeta said to Axia who was beside her. "It's not like she's ever going to prove she's okay."
Axia was a good deal shorter than Zeta. She was a Semi-Tallest and Zeta was a Tallest.
Zeta had on a rather informal 'Tallest' uniform with mostly bluish colors to it. Axia wore a red and black 'Semi-Tallest' uniform. It was a cross between Invader and Tallest.
They had been around each other since their 'Second day Orientation' after they had been initialized.
"Oh come on, it's for moral support." Axia said. "Besides, who else is going to keep the guards from tranquilizing her when she freaks out again."
"Did they restrain MD?" Zeta asked as she watched Azas' physiatrist approach the panel of Tallest.
"He's in an isolation ward supposedly turned off until this is over. They didn't want him in storage. You know how he has a habit of turning back on."
"The court calls for the appointed test."
Both females turned and expected the worst.
The female Aza balked before she entered the elevator. It was one that had been installed to allow guests up to the balcony. The doors started to close.
"Mother of Irk let me out!" Aza shrieked. There was the sound of metal being bent out of shape.
Guards rushed in and tried to keep Aza from leaving the elevator and the muzak that was torturing her.
"Order! Order!" The Tallest shouted.
"She bit me!" A Guard screamed. Blood gushed from a wound on his hand.
"The court finds no reason to allow Aza GE-7 back on duty until she can fulfill the requirements that have been set for her."
There was a pitiful sound from the female Aza as she was lead away. But then her anger surfaced and her right eye twitched. "I'll get you Zember!" She screamed at her physiatrist. "You! You!" Her jaw clenched shut and she growled in his general direction as she was taken off.
"As tradition demands, we ask who will take Aza GE-7 as a dependant until her next hearing."
Axia stood up. "I Axia 321-A-4472728-VD-3 will take Aza GE-7 as a dependent."
The Tallest nodded. "So be it. Bring in the next one."
"Well that was memorable." Zeta said. "Come on Axia, let's go see how she is this time."
Both females stood up, one taller than the other and left.
"Poor Aza, after her Musacia assignment, she's just berserk." Zeta said as they headed to the isolation ward that they had taken Aza to. It was the same one her beloved SIR unit had been held in.
"She's not right. I mean she named her SIR 'Mechanical Death' for crying out loud." Axia said as they rounded a corner. "But still, she's not all bad. Unless she hears elevator muzak."
"Or gets put on hold, or is in a mall, or a department store, or a."
"Alright, I get the point."
They came to a door labeled 'WAITING' and went in.
"I hope they turned off the music in there, she'll have torn it up by now."
The Irken behind the desk shot up and saluted them. He was much shorter than them therefore he was dirt.
"We are here to collect Aza GE-7." Axia said.
"Sir, yes Sir!" The littler Irken said dashing off.
"So what are you and you-know-who up to tonight?" Axia asked as they waited.
"Oh he's busy tonight. You heard that Zim returned last night didn't you? It's a real disaster, he's taller now!"
Axias' eyes went wide. "Zim? I thought he was dead. But he's taller? How much taller?"
"A good two inches taller than you."
"Oh that's bad."
Zeta nodded.
"I said let me go before I tie your antenna in a way that they'll have to cut them to get them loose!"
"Sounds like Aza's okay."
The female called Aza stormed into the waiting room. She wore a larger version of the Invader uniform and open finger gloves. By her side a small black, silver, and yellow SIR unit followed.
"Aza, stop threatening the shorter one." Zeta said. "You're scaring him."
The short male Irken was actually flustered at being around so many females at once. Tall females at that.
Axia poked Aza in the shoulder. "You lasted two extra seconds this time. That's good."
Aza pushed her hand away. "I can't believe I freaked again. I'm an Invader for Bleshas' sake!" She glanced around. "So, what did I miss while I was locked up?"
Her little SIR unit MD had at this time started giving the short male dirty looks.
"Didn't you hear? Zim returned." Zeta said. She was glad she hadn't brought any of her SIRs. MD had a bad habit of trying to destroy any other SIR unit around.
Aza blinked. "Zim? For real?" She paused. "I thought he was dead."
"So did I!" Axia said shrugging. "Apparently he's separating the love trigs for tonight." She grinned up at Zeta.
Aza giggled.
"That's not funny." Zeta growled. She stormed out of the waiting room.
The other females grinned and followed her. MD walked along side them glaring as hard at anyone in the way as a SIR unit could.
"I don't see why you're so upset." Axia said.
Zeta suddenly whirled around. "Wouldn't you be upset if I mentioned how you and Veer carry on at every spare moment you're alone? Hmmm Axia?"
The Semi-Tallest blinked. "Oh hey come on! We're just friends!"
Aza just snickered. "You're both funny."
Axia pushed Aza. "Oh be quiet you. You're lucky I keep claiming you as a dependent."
Zeta grabbed both of her shorter friends by the collars of their uniforms. "Come on. I want to make it to home before nightfall."
* * *
Zeta sat back in the over stuffed chair. It was night since they were planet side on Irk. She was trying to concentrate on the image on the little screen she held but it was of little use.
"Stupid Zim and his stupid return." She muttered changing the channels.
She silently wondered what Aza and Axia were doing.
Ever since Aza had returned from Musacia as a total wreak she had been living with Axia. Of course the very moment Aza had set foot on Irk she had unexplainably run screaming away from her Voot runner into the crowd. She eventually had smacked right into Zeta and clung to her not letting go till she had been given a tranquilizer.
Axia had found it all hilarious at the time.
Once they found out what had happened Axia offered to take in her fellow Semi-Tallest till she was better. It was going to be a long stay.
In any case Aza was probably showing Axia how to hot wire a Voot Runner or Axia was trying to help Aza stay around muzak without running screaming into the night. Either way it would have been interesting to watch.
She was about to turn off the little screen when a pair of thin hands clamped over her eyes.
"Guess who." A male voice said from behind her.
She pulled his hands off her eyes and got up wrapping her arms around his neck. "Purple!" She squealed. "I thought you were going to be gone dealing with Zim till tomorrow."
He nodded. "I was, but you know how things go. Zim is being held in isolation. We told him it was quarantine and that we want to make sure he's not infected with anything. He bought it of course."
"We all thought he was dead." Zeta said as they sat on the couch.
"I wish!" He put an arm around her shoulder. "That little menace has been plaguing us since he was born! His first mission and he blows half a planet up! How did he do that is what I want to know. I mean all he had was , mmph..." He was cut off by a kiss from Zeta.
She let the kiss break and curled closer. "You've been gone for five days and all you can talk about is Zim?"
He smiled. "Oh, I think we can talk about something else."
She giggled. "Who said anything about us talking?" She kissed him again.
His thin fingers worked their way along the clasps of her casual uniform. "No one said anything...about..." His sentence trailed as he got the last clasp open.
* * *
"Now put that wire there."
Zeta could identify Axias' voice as she went into the Second level apartment.
There was the sound of electricity. "OW!"
"It's not that bad." Axia said.
Axia tended to go into to philosophy in her spare time. She had lived alone for a long time with only her little SIR around with her. She did go out and 'socialize' with Zeta and even with that male Veer. Now she had to keep an eye on Aza who had a tendency to disappear.
Zeta peeked into the small lab that every Second level apartment had for Semi-Tallest. Bigger ones were in the First level apartments for Tallest.
Both Semi-Tallest were trying to repair a toaster that MD had taken apart last night. The little SIR was sitting in the corner.
Axias' SIR Yit was standing on the table and quoting repair tips when asked.
MD tilted back his head. "That Verching toaster isn't worth it."
"MD! Bad SIR!" Axia scolded.
"What are you two doing?" Zeta asked.
Aza spun around faster than the other two expected. "Hi Zeta!" Her right eye twitched a little. "What are you doing here?"
"Verching!" Yit suddenly chirruped.
Zeta gave Yit a funny look. "Okay, what have you two been doing to her?"
"It wasn't us." Axia said sliding the defunct toaster off the table. "It was however MDs' fault." She glared at Aza. "He keeps cursing, she keeps repeating."
"Not my fault." Aza said defensively.
"Yes it is, you reprogrammed him."
Aza grinned. "Oh yeah." She slid up onto the lab table. "So, what'cha doin?" She asked Zeta.
"Oh nothing. Purple came home last night though."
The other females immediately perked up.
"Oh really?" Aza asked.
"Yes really, not that I'm going to tell either of you what happened."
Axia smirked. "You will eventually."
"You never tell me what happens between you and Veer."
Axia opened her mouth to comment but was interrupted when Aza jumped off the table squealing.
"Oh no!" She tapped her wristband and the time appeared above her palm in holo. "I'm late for my rehabilitation class!" She bolted out of the room. "Bye!"
MD scrambled out of his chair and clattered after her.
"Didn't she fail four whole courses of that already?" Zeta asked.
Axia nodded. "Mmyep, she sure did. But the court won't allow her to have a hearing unless she goes to them, fail or not."
"So anyway." Zeta leaned against the table. "Tell me about Veer."
Axia glared.
* * *
Aza burst through the door to her class panting. MD slammed into her legs unable to stop quickly enough.
"How kind of you to join us GE-7." A rather spindly Irken male, Derl YW-5 hissed.
"Sorry." She sat down quickly in one of the many free desks. There were two others in her class both were ex-invaders like her. A female by the name of Keel 624-T-4862638-VR-7 and a male Cur 111-I-0009638-RD-3.
"I'd like to introduce a new student to this pathetic class, GW-2."
A Semi-Tallest male came in dressed rather oddly for an Irken. He had some blue pants made of some material Aza couldn't identify. He also wore a dark green shirt with a dark blue one over it. The blue one was open and looked like it should be button closed. He didn't wear boots but something like a childs' footwear. But he did wear gloves, though the fingers were cut open like hers.
"My name is Zim you Miss. Bitters reject." He muttered. He took a seat next to Cur and immediately looked bored.
There was a clattering sound outside the door and a little silver and blue SIR unit waddled in.
"Ooo!" Gir went up to MD immediately intrigued by this other SIR unit.
MDs' right hand transformed into a multi-tool.
"Mechanical Death! You leave that unit alone! Come over here and you sit down!" Aza yelled.
MD looked at her, then at Gir who suddenly hugged him. The more angry of the two SIRs wiggled free of Gir and went to sit where he was told.
Bye the end of the class Aza was banging her head on the table. Keel was asleep. Cur had actually managed to get a bathroom pass and had yet to come back. Zim was too busy inspecting the oddest writing utensil any Irken had ever seen.
"Now leave my site you stink worms, or face detention." Derl YW-5 hissed pointing to the door.
Aza kicked Keels' table before getting up.
The other female bolted out of the room her little SIR following her.
"Gir, come here." Zim looked under the tables. "Gir? Where are you?"
Aza looked down at MD. "MD, my little SIR, who would never EVER lie to me. Did you do something to any other SIRs?"
"No mistress." MD said.
"I'm up high master!" A little voice chirruped.
Zim looked up. "Gir! Get down from there!"
Aza giggled. This Gir had gotten himself tangled in the overhead lighting wires. She went over to Zim. "Hey Zimmy, I see you still can't get any good help."
He immediately glared at her. Then he looked surprised. "Az?"
She grinned. "Hey! You remember me!"
"You got taller."
"So did you."
He shrugged. "They told me it was nutrient driven hormone imbalances."
She nodded. "I was told that too. So what's with the clothes?"
He looked down. "Oh, it's the common wear on the planet Earth where I had been sent." He glared up at Gir. "For the last time Gir! Get down here!"
There were a few snapping sounds and Gir crashed to the ground. "Weeeee oof!" He squealed on the way down.
"He's, different." Aza commented.
"He's supposed to be advanced. But he's defective. But he keeps things interesting." Zim said picking Gir up. He motioned to MD. "What's up with him?"
She was at first confused by his dialect then understood. "Mechanical Death, I call him MD. He was my shield against." She shivered. "Muzak."
"Hmmm, yes a shield. Gir did help keep the madness at bay. Sometimes."
"I told you worthless beings to get out!" The 'teacher' hissed.
Aza who was used to being harassed by this particular being and Zim who was used to one quite similar left the classroom.
"So, you're up for the Semi-Tallest title to?" Aza asked.
Zim nodded. "Once I reached this height I was ordered back." He looked disappointed. "I had so much to do there Aza, I almost had it!"
"Musacia was a push over." She said. "It was almost too easy. But it took three years for the armada to come." She wrapped her arms around herself. "They were all so damn happy!"
He gave her a sympathetic look.
"Anyway, who claimed you as a dependent while you're in the program?" She asked.
"No one." He said sounding almost depressed. "I stay in quarantine while I'm not in the classes." He gave her a sideways look as they walked through the many hallways. "Were you claimed?"
She nodded. "Her name is Axia. When I finally returned to Irk I, well I went a little berserk." She cracked a smile. "I managed to gain the sympathy of her and her friend Zeta who is a Tallest."
Zim looked impressed. "Now why does that name sound familiar?" He asked.
"She was rumored to have a love interest in the Almighty Tallest one Purple." Aza said. "Since our time away it's been confirmed." She winked at him.
"You mean like the ones about us back at the academy?" He asked giving her a sly look.
She pushed at him as they walked. "Yeah, exactly the same. You know even your time away at Foodcourtia didn't make those go away."
He shrugged.
"Oh I have an idea!" Aza said.
"I like ideas." He said as they rounded a corner.
"Not that kind of idea." She said giving him a look.
He smirked. "Okay fine, what's your idea?"
* * *
"You want me to what?" Zeta asked rather loudly.
"Claim Zim as a dependant." Aza said.
"Why on Mother Irk should I claim Zim as a dependent?" Zeta yelled. "He's always in trouble with the Tallest, he almost killed off everyone in the Eastern Hemisphere during 'Impending Doom One'! Not to mention he's a vicious little maniac!" She glared at Zim who was in fact still in the room. "No!"
"Please?" Aza asked.
"Why can't Axia do it?" Zeta asked glancing at her friend.
Axia shook her head. "I wouldn't be allowed to have Co-Ed dependents unless there was a large genetic relation between them. Zim and Aza are not related enough to make it to that category. Only 28% basic genetic similarity."
Zeta crossed her arms. "Well, I have to talk to Purple."
Aza brightened. "Yay!"
"That dose not mean I'll do it!"
"So what? Close enough!"
Axia shook her head. "You go run this by The Almighty one Zeta. I'll watch them."
Zim turned blankly back to the kitchen. "I need a drink." Aza followed him.
Zeta nodded and headed out the door bumping into the Semi-Tallest Veer.
"Oh, Tallest Zeta! How nice to see you." He stepped out of her way. "Is Axia home?"
She went past him hurriedly. "Of course she is. Go on in, I'm sure she's waiting for you." She disappeared out of sight around a corner before he could say anything else.
* * *
"I don't see why you're agreeing to this." Purple said as he and Zeta stopped in front of Axias' door.
"You said I could help out if I felt like it." She brushed his face with her hand and straightened his uniform top. "Besides you're going to talk to Zim, I don't want you threatening him with death, maybe some mutilation but Aza is too attached to him for death."
"Okay no death. And stop that. I'm a leader of the Irken Empire, I can put my own clothes on straight."
She gave him a look. "You can put them on by yourself but you need help taking them off?"
He opened his mouth to comment but she stopped him. "We've been standing out here long enough." She opened the door. "Axia, I'm back. Axia?"
"She's in her room!" A slightly slurred male voice said.
"And so is Veer!" A second but decidedly female voice cried out.
Zeta and Purple looked into the kitchen finding Zim and Aza sitting beside each other obviously drunk.
Purple picked up one of three empty bottles. "Inerian Vodka." He set it down and waved a hand in Zims' face.
Zim bobbed his head trying to keep up with the motion.
Aza giggled a little. "We were, plhayen a ghame." She said holding up one of four empty shot glasses. "Zimmy taught us it."
Zim nodded. "Earth 'Spin tha Bottle'." He paused. "Sort of."
Zeta raised an eyebrow. "Do tell."
"Ya spin the bottle." Zim said demonstrating by spinning one of the empty bottles on the table. While it spun he poured some of the clear liquid from a half-empty bottle into a shot glass. The bottle stopped spinning, rolled off the table and shattered on the floor.
"Oops!" Aza squealed.
Zim shrugged. "Oh well." He downed the shot and then pulled Aza into a kiss. Then he passed out on the table.
Aza patted him on the head. "It's okay Zimmy." Her head made a hollow 'Thunk' sound as it hit the table.
"That was different." Purple commented.
"We can't just leave them there." Zeta said.
"I'll call up some guards to move them." He commed the security level.
Suddenly a scream pierced the air. Purple turned to the sleeping quarters as a laser appeared in his hand. He was without his guards this time and always carried one even with them around.
"What was that?" He asked.
"Sounded like Axia." Zeta said.
Purple headed in the direction the scream had come from. He trained the laser on the first thing that moved.
"Warning, Secondary Mistress Axia denies access to anyone." MD said from his guard post.
A second scream sounded. Only now it didn't sound panicked, it sounded...
"Well, in that case." He said quietly as he turned away. "It's all clear Zeta. They're fine."
The front door slid open and a couple of guards came in. "You called for us my Tallest?" One of them asked.
"Yes." He motioned to the table where Zim and Aza were. "These two are intoxicated. See to it that the female is placed in her room and that the male is on the couch. Do not under any circumstances disturb the room with the SIR unit in front of it."
The two guards nodded.
"Oh and if any of you speak a word of this I'll have your heads mounted on my 'Wall of Idiot Guards'. Understand?"
"Yes my Tallest!" The two said in unison before going to their appointed tasks.
Zeta sighed. "This wasn't how I thought this would go."
"Well at least this way I get to think some more on my 'speech' to Zim." He put an arm around her shoulder. He shook the half-empty bottle he carried as they left. "In the mean time, let's play a game."