He gazed up at the hospital walls, a bit surprised. The earlier times he was awake, had become vague pain-laced dreams. By the nearby window, he saw it was nighttime. He wondered how long he had been out. He got up out of bed, noting the stiffness in his joints. Either from him thrashing around in his sleep, just being bed-ridden so long, or possibly both. He stumbled out into the hall, seeing the hallways were clear. Just the graveyard shift was left. Most of the staff had gone home to be on-call. He went down the hall, till he came to Willow's room. His heart leapt in his throat at the sight of her, so pale. But she was alive, and he was grateful for that. Though, he hadn't seen her this haggard since last spring when she was in the coma. He pulled a chair up and sat beside like he had done then. His hand reached out, and he stroked her cheek tenderly.
"Déjà vu all over again," he murmured softly, "We really have to stop meeting like this. Not healthy." he said with a dry chuckle. "Come back to me. I miss you. I love you." He then got up, and kissed her gently on the forehead. She stirred, murmuring softly.
She could hear someone speaking to her. It sounded familiar. She heard them say, "I love you." She heard those words before, coming from this voice. Oz? No, it didn't sound like Oz, though she remembered thinking it was him when she heard that phrase. But there was someone else in the room when she awoke then. It was...Xander? Did Xander say he loves her? But that couldn't be. He would have told her if that was true... but what if he did? Her eyes slowly opened, and as they came into focus, she could see Xander's face smiling over her. Xander? Was this a dream? But she could feel his hand holding hers, and it was warm. Then the recent events crashed through her mind. No, he died! But here he is, hovering over her. Did she die then? And he's waiting to take her into heaven? Maybe that's it. But being dead wouldn't hurt so much? Because you're dead, and you wouldn't feel your body anymore, right?
"Willow? You awake?" he asked. Willow blinked slowly at him.
"Am I dreaming?" she asked in disbelief.
"No," he grinned.
"Are you a ghost?"
"No."
"Am I dead then?"
"No. You look pretty lively to me." he chuckled a little as he stroked her cheek.
"But...." and then her mind came into full focus, "Xander, you're alive?!?" She then reached up, and hugged him tightly.
"Ooof! Uh, yeah. Though I might not be for long. Need air!" he gasped out through his crushed lungs.
She quickly let go, "Oh, sorry. But I saw you get killed. With that knife. And..." She stared at him in confusion.
"I didn't die. I almost did, but you saved me." he smiled warmly. Willow then noticed how much he had aged recently.
"What happened to you?"
"Uh, kind of beat myself up. You should see the other me."
"What?" she asked, a puzzled expression on her face.
"Um, long story. I'll tell you later. One to tell the grandkids." he joked, "I better go, before one of those police wannabes catch me out of bed. See you soon." He then went to get up, and gasped at a jolt of pain that shot up his leg. He gritted his teeth, and clutched the chair so tightly, his knuckles were white.
"Xander? You okay?"
"I will be." As the pain subsided, he limped out to the doorway.
Willow then remembered something he said before, "Xander?"
He turned, "Yeah."
"That was you, wasn't it? That night we were in the hospital when Angelus was awaking Acathla? You said that you loved me."
Xander smiled, "I didn't say I loved you." Her face fell at this. He went on, "I said I _love_ you. Always have." As soon as he declared it, he realized how true it was. How much she was a part of his life, and how much he wanted it that way. For them to always be together.
Tears of joy appeared in her eyes, "I love you, Xander."
"I know." he said, and headed back to his room. The pain was gone.
"Déjà vu all over again," he murmured softly, "We really have to stop meeting like this. Not healthy." he said with a dry chuckle. "Come back to me. I miss you. I love you." He then got up, and kissed her gently on the forehead. She stirred, murmuring softly.
She could hear someone speaking to her. It sounded familiar. She heard them say, "I love you." She heard those words before, coming from this voice. Oz? No, it didn't sound like Oz, though she remembered thinking it was him when she heard that phrase. But there was someone else in the room when she awoke then. It was...Xander? Did Xander say he loves her? But that couldn't be. He would have told her if that was true... but what if he did? Her eyes slowly opened, and as they came into focus, she could see Xander's face smiling over her. Xander? Was this a dream? But she could feel his hand holding hers, and it was warm. Then the recent events crashed through her mind. No, he died! But here he is, hovering over her. Did she die then? And he's waiting to take her into heaven? Maybe that's it. But being dead wouldn't hurt so much? Because you're dead, and you wouldn't feel your body anymore, right?
"Willow? You awake?" he asked. Willow blinked slowly at him.
"Am I dreaming?" she asked in disbelief.
"No," he grinned.
"Are you a ghost?"
"No."
"Am I dead then?"
"No. You look pretty lively to me." he chuckled a little as he stroked her cheek.
"But...." and then her mind came into full focus, "Xander, you're alive?!?" She then reached up, and hugged him tightly.
"Ooof! Uh, yeah. Though I might not be for long. Need air!" he gasped out through his crushed lungs.
She quickly let go, "Oh, sorry. But I saw you get killed. With that knife. And..." She stared at him in confusion.
"I didn't die. I almost did, but you saved me." he smiled warmly. Willow then noticed how much he had aged recently.
"What happened to you?"
"Uh, kind of beat myself up. You should see the other me."
"What?" she asked, a puzzled expression on her face.
"Um, long story. I'll tell you later. One to tell the grandkids." he joked, "I better go, before one of those police wannabes catch me out of bed. See you soon." He then went to get up, and gasped at a jolt of pain that shot up his leg. He gritted his teeth, and clutched the chair so tightly, his knuckles were white.
"Xander? You okay?"
"I will be." As the pain subsided, he limped out to the doorway.
Willow then remembered something he said before, "Xander?"
He turned, "Yeah."
"That was you, wasn't it? That night we were in the hospital when Angelus was awaking Acathla? You said that you loved me."
Xander smiled, "I didn't say I loved you." Her face fell at this. He went on, "I said I _love_ you. Always have." As soon as he declared it, he realized how true it was. How much she was a part of his life, and how much he wanted it that way. For them to always be together.
Tears of joy appeared in her eyes, "I love you, Xander."
"I know." he said, and headed back to his room. The pain was gone.
