Disclaimer: Don't own them!
Author's Note: Four reviews! Yahoo! Symbolic Agnoy, Shawn, Morgan and Hanspam---you guys made my day when you revied! And I passed math too! Yay! No summer school for me!! Alright, I'm not sure if this chapter has been edited yet. I think it may have been but I'm not sure. If it hasn't Jeni can yell at me for posting it! This chapter is more boring than the others; it basically ties up a few loose ends. I won't blame you if you don't reivew, this chapter isn't the greatest!
Chapter 9
Arrivals
"When is Tanya getting in?" Rocky asked quietly. Adam, Billy and he had arrived at Tommy's house about half an hour before and found Jason fast asleep in Tommy's arms. Tommy looked tired himself but had refused Rocky's offer to take his place sitting with Jason. They had expected he wouldn't take the offer.
"In about two hours if her plane is on time." Adam replied. He and Tanya had been dating on and off since high school. They had managed to maintain a rather loose, long distance relationship when Tanya had moved to Los Anglos to take over a job at a popular radio.
"Zack gets here at six." Billy added. "When does Dr. Johnson come again?"
"Around eight, when his shift at the hospital ends. He comes on his lunch break and after he gets off work." Tommy answered startling them all slightly.
"We didn't hear you come out." Rocky commented softly glancing down the hall without even realizing he was doing it.
"Jase is awake. He wants to see you, Billy." Tommy gave a very small, rueful smile. "He wants to make sure you're okay."
Billy looked for a moment as if he was going to burst into tears, "I should have figured as much." Billy said with an almost wistful sigh, getting up and starting down the hall, "I'll pick up Zack, okay?"
"Sounds good. Adam is going to met Tanya." Rocky replied. Billy heard the three of them talking quietly as he walked down the hall. Billy knew he shouldn't be this nervous. He was going to see hid oldest friend, after all. 'The pain medication has been increased, he should be better than when you last saw him.' Billy thought trying to convince himself of that. Still, his nerves wouldn't be abated.
It was better than Billy had expected it to be. That first step into Jason's room found Billy rewarded with a wide grin. Jason was leaning against the headboard and when Billy entered the room Jason glanced up, his midnight eyes meeting light emerald ones.
"Are you okay?" Jason asked quietly.
Billy almost laughed at the question. It seemed to him that he should be asking that question of Jason not vise versa. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Good." Jason answered reading the expressions in the green eyes of his friend as if reading a book. "I was worried about you."
Billy took a seat in the chair beside Jason's bed and looked intently at his friend, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Jase. I shouldn't have gotten so mad it's just...I always thought you'd be there whenever I needed you. You were always someone I could turn to and trust. We both know I'm not really open with a lot of people. I didn't mean what I said..."
"Yes, you did Billy. You know you did." Jason interrupted him making sure Billy met his eyes. "Don't tell me you didn't mean every word because I know you did."
"I'm still sorry." Billy remarked.
"Yeah, me too." Jason replied. Billy looked at him, slightly confused. "I'm sorry any of this had to happen, that I'm putting you all through this."
"You don't exactly have a choice in the matter, Jason." Billy commented softly.
Jason shrugged. "I still would have liked to spare you all seeing me like this though." Pausing for a second, Jason continued, "You know, I almost turned down Tommy when he offered to let me move in."
"Why on Earth would you do that?" Billy wondered aloud.
"I didn't want to be a burden to him or anyone else. I didn't want him to have to see me like this either. I considered going with my parents for awhile just so I could spare you, and the others, from seeing me so helpless. If Tommy hadn't offered I would have moved into a hospice." Jason replied.
"Do you regret the decision?" Billy asked gently.
"No, I don't." Jason replied. "I regret putting you and Tommy and the others through this but I'm glad that I get to die with all of you here. I didn't want to die alone."
"Jason, none of us would have ever let you die alone. We've always been there for each other, through everything. This is no different. We would never desert you. I don't think any of us would be able to or would have wanted to." Billy said sincerely. "Rangers never let each other down, you know that."
Jason chuckled softly, a wide grin spreading over his face, "God, that seems like a long time ago. Even after all that's happened I don't regret taking the Power from Zordon."
"What do you mean?" Billy questioned seeing the small flash of sadness in his friend's eyes.
"The doctor told me there was an element in my blood that caused the cancer to spread faster, the same element that caused the pain attacks to be more violent and the reaction to the medication," Jason replied slowly not sure if he should be telling Billy this. "I know it wasn't there before I became a Ranger. I donated blood to my younger cousin two months before Zordon gave me the Red Ranger powers, we have the same blood type and he needed blood badly. There were no abnormalities then. I couldn't donate when they had a blood drive at the Peace Conference and neither could Trini or Zack. There was no one who could accept our blood without going into anaphylactic shook. My blood has something in it, an abnormality. I'm betting your and the others have it as well."
"Being a Ranger caused this?" Billy asked horrified at the aspect.
"No, my family has a history of cancer. My grandfather died of prostate cancer when I was ten. You came to the funeral with me remember? My father had a tumour removed from his stomach when I was fourteen. I always knew I was at risk, I just never thought it would show up this soon. Or that the results would be what they are," Jason replied grimly but saw Billy wasn't quite convinced.
"Being a Ranger didn't cause the cancer, it would have come up whether I had been a Ranger or not. The abnormality in my blood caused a few complications," Jason answered and seeing Billy's slightly surprised expression continued, "I got my family doctor to pull up all the medical jargon they had on two weeks after I was diagnosed to see what was going on. I picked up on the abnormality. When Dr. Johnson told me it was an element in my blood that caused the reaction I knew it was the same element."
"Oh God, Jase. The Power was supposed to protect us, not hurt us." Billy exclaimed softly. Before he could say anything more Jason interrupted him.
"I don't regret it, Billy," Jason told him with a steady look in his dark eyes, "I've never regretted it, not for a moment. Becoming a Ranger was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I will never regret taking the Powers from Zordon. It let me do so much good."
Billy bit back the tears that had managed to well up in his eyes, "That always was the most important thing for you and I know you don't regret taking the Powers. But if they caused you pain than I can't help be mad."
"Who are you mad at?" Jason inquired softly.
For a second Billy was stumped. Then he sighed and replied quietly, "I don't know. I'm mad at...at whoever decided this fate needed to be yours. I mean, there are millions of other people in the world. Why you? Why now?"
"I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself that same question. But asking that question doesn't do anything except make me confused and angry so I stopped asking it. If you're angry it's okay, you have a right to be, it's part of grief I think. Just don't let that anger get in the way of everything else, okay? Don't block yourself off from everyone like I know you do in situations like this one," Jason replied earnestly.
Billy studied his friend carefully for a few moments, "You're more philosophical now then you ever were," He remarked somewhat dryly.
Jason chuckled softly glad to see Billy attempting to lighten this heavy load, "Yeah, I guess so."
"You're really ready, aren't you?" Billy asked softly looking Jason in the eye. Jason meet the intense gaze from Billy's green pools without hesitation.
"Yes and no." Jason replied softly. "I'm ready to die. I'm not scared, not anymore but I...I don't think I'm ready to leave you guys. Once everyone gets here, once I have the chance to say good bye then I'll be ready." Jason replied.
Billy said nothing but smiled weakly at Jason. He didn't trust his ability to keep his voice steady. Silently Billy put his arms around Jason and Jason returned the offered embrace as best he could. No tears came. It was not an occasion for crying. The only thing that had been spoken had been the truth. It was a hard, bitter truth at that but true nonetheless. Billy found no reason to cry. Jason remained unfazed by the fact that his death was near and Billy, though his heart was breaking, would not let his own feelings of anger and sadness get in the way when he spent time with Jason. There wasn't any point for that and Billy didn't want to waste the time they had left together.
******
When Tanya arrived Jason was sleeping and when Billy returned with Zack at six he still slept. No one had the heart to wake him when he looked so peaceful. Jason didn't awaken until Dr. Johnson came to examine him. Tommy noted that the periods when Jason slept were becoming longer with each passing day as if to make sure they all knew he got weaker every day. Tommy had the urge to slug someone or something out of frustration that stemmed from the unfairness of it all, of the world. Thinking about why and how something like this could happen to a person like Jason only made him angry and incredibly depressed so he pushed any questioning thoughts out of his mind for a time after all this was over.
"Hey Tommy," Zack remarked from behind Tommy, who stood staring out the window lost in his miserable musings, "Got a minute?"
"Sure," Tommy replied, wondering what his friend wanted to talk about. The two of them went into the kitchen. Zack picked up his half finished mug of coffee before taking a seat at the kitchen table. Tommy grabbed a cup for himself before joining him.
For a second they sat in silence as Zack didn't know how to begin. Finally he blurted out, "Thank you."
"Thank you!? Why are you thanking me?" Tommy asked clearly surprised. He wasn't sure what he had expected his friend to say but thank you certainly wasn't it.
Zack shrugged and sighed softly, "You've been here for Jason all this time. I mean, you've really been there for him. I...well, I should have stayed in touch better. Called or wrote more often or something. The last time we spoke was about three weeks before you called."
"You talked to him on the phone while he's been living here, Zack. It's been less than three weeks," Tommy remarked.
"I mean before I knew," Zack replied, staring into his mug, "I wish I had made more of an effort to stay in touch. I wish I had taken the time to call Jase more often."
"It's not like I wasn't bad about staying in touch. When you guys were in Geneva..." Tommy began.
Zack forestalled any further comments by interrupting Tommy, "You called or wrote to each of us at least once a week. And you and Jason were in contact even more, at least every three days if not more often."
"That's because I needed his help," Tommy admitted softly, "I needed help dealing with the leader responsibilities. Calling him was mostly for my benefit, not his."
"You still called or wrote Trini I and at least once a week. That had nothing to do with Rangering. And I know you and Jase talked about more than Ranger business as well. I was forever walking in on his conversations with you. Half the time it wasn't remotely related to the Power Rangers." Zack added. "Tommy, you have been a better friend to Jason than I could ever hope to be. Do you know how many other people would have done this for a friend? Hardly any. I'm not even sure if I would be able to handle it."
"Jason needed me," Tommy replied simply, "I couldn't have not helped him. I owe him too much not to be there when he needs me."
Zack studied his former teammate, it didn't surprise him how much conviction rang in Tommy's words. There was a certain rightness to what Tommy was doing for Jason that, when Zack thought about it, seemed perfectly natural because of the relationship they shared, which had stumped everyone from the start. 'He doesn't even realize what he's doing is anything out of the ordinary.' Zack realized, 'He didn't do this for any other reason than he cares that much about Jase.'
"Jason is a lucky guy, he has you as a friend," Zack said finally.
Tommy chuckled somewhat ruefully before replying, "Rocky said almost exactly the same thing to me couple days ago. I think you've both got it wrong. I'm the lucky one. If Jason hadn't saved me that day on the beach and if he hadn't taken me in afterwards I..." Tommy broke off and looked away as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, "I don't want to think about what kind of person I would be if Jason hadn't saved me that day. I don't like to think about what would have happened to me if he hadn't let me lean on him all those times. I'm just lucky that I can call Jason my friend, that I can say he's part of my family."
"We're all blessed to know Jason," Zack agreed, "but we're not the only fortunate ones. If you asked Jason I bet he'd tell you he's the one who's lucky."
Tommy laughed softly, "He has said that, many times before. I just wish I could get him to understand how much he means to me, us. I don't thinks he understands why I'm doing this."
"Do you understand why your doing this, Tommy?" Zack questioned quietly.
Tommy did not hesitate to answer, "Of course. He's my friend, brother, I love him. I don't want him to spend his last days alone in a hospital when he should be here with his friends. I know he would do the same for me."
Zack nodded briefly, "You know, since the beginning there's always been something different about the relationship the two of you have. I doubt that anyone else in our group would have been able to handle this much but you do it without realizing how uncommon what your doing is."
Tommy shrugged, glancing unconsciously at the picture of Jason, himself, Billy, Adam and Rocky that hung on the wall along side one of the original Ranger team, "I was taught the beauty of any act of kindness by the best. Jason would do the same for me and than some. I know he would, just like I know if it was possible to do more to help him I would, no matter what the cost."
Zack was about to say something when their 'heart to heart' was interrupted by Dr. Johnson, "Mr. Oliver, may I have a quick word?"
"Yeah, sure," Tommy replied getting up from the table. "Can Zack see Jason, now?"
"Yes, he's awake." Dr. Johnson replied.
Zack got up and headed towards Jason's room, passing Rocky and Billy who were talking quietly in the living room as he did so. Tanya had gone home for a change of clothes and a shower. Tommy walked into the hall with Dr. Johnson, waiting for the doctor to explain the latest medical development Jason had to suffer through. He re-entered the apartment only a few minutes later after Dr. Johnson had headed home. He joined Rocky and Billy who both looked up expectantly when he walked into the room.
"What's the verdict?" Rocky asked quickly as Tommy flopped into a vacant chair.
"New medication," Tommy replied. "It's the limit of what they can give. You basically don't get much higher than this without getting into things that knock you out completely."
"Shit," Rocky commented knowing what that meant concerning Jason's ever deteriorating health.
"They tested everything a lot to make sure Jason wouldn't have any more reactions," Tommy added more for his own reassurance than to reassure the two former Blue Rangers, "This is heavy, guys. The others better not have any delays in getting here."
"That bad, huh?" Billy intoned quietly.
"Yeah, that bad," Tommy sighed, "It...It won't be long now. These injections Jason will start tomorrow are strong enough to let him be alert enough to say his goodbyes. That's what they're for."
Billy paled at Tommy's words, "Does Jason know?"
Tommy nodded, "Yeah, Dr. Johnson told him," Seeing the looks on the faces of his former teammates Tommy added, "Jason is ready to go...or at least he will be once the others get here."
"I know, he's ready but I don't think I'm ready to let him go," Billy admitted sheepishly.
Tommy looked pained at his words, "We can't ask him to keep fighting a battle that isn't his. We can't ask him to live in pain any longer than he wants to. If it wasn't for his need to see everyone I think he would have let go before now."
Billy sighed softly, "I know you're right; that it's unfair to put him through anymore pain. But I still don't want him to leave us. I don't want to let him go."
"Billy..." Tommy began, afraid that when the end came the former Blue Ranger would do or say something to make Jason try and hold on for longer than he had to. The last thing Tommy wanted was to see his friend suffer and longer than he already had.
"I know I can't tell Jason," Billy put in hastily, correctly guessing the look that crossed Tommy's face, "I wouldn't do that to him but it's hard for me not to hold on."
Tommy clamped a hand on Billy's shoulder, silently wishing he could ease the suffering of all his friends. It was an impossible task or at least one he couldn't undertake on his own. All he could do was offer comfort to them while trying to deal with his own grief. For his former teammates, who knew that this was affecting Tommy more than he let on, it was enough.
Author's Note: Four reviews! Yahoo! Symbolic Agnoy, Shawn, Morgan and Hanspam---you guys made my day when you revied! And I passed math too! Yay! No summer school for me!! Alright, I'm not sure if this chapter has been edited yet. I think it may have been but I'm not sure. If it hasn't Jeni can yell at me for posting it! This chapter is more boring than the others; it basically ties up a few loose ends. I won't blame you if you don't reivew, this chapter isn't the greatest!
Chapter 9
Arrivals
"When is Tanya getting in?" Rocky asked quietly. Adam, Billy and he had arrived at Tommy's house about half an hour before and found Jason fast asleep in Tommy's arms. Tommy looked tired himself but had refused Rocky's offer to take his place sitting with Jason. They had expected he wouldn't take the offer.
"In about two hours if her plane is on time." Adam replied. He and Tanya had been dating on and off since high school. They had managed to maintain a rather loose, long distance relationship when Tanya had moved to Los Anglos to take over a job at a popular radio.
"Zack gets here at six." Billy added. "When does Dr. Johnson come again?"
"Around eight, when his shift at the hospital ends. He comes on his lunch break and after he gets off work." Tommy answered startling them all slightly.
"We didn't hear you come out." Rocky commented softly glancing down the hall without even realizing he was doing it.
"Jase is awake. He wants to see you, Billy." Tommy gave a very small, rueful smile. "He wants to make sure you're okay."
Billy looked for a moment as if he was going to burst into tears, "I should have figured as much." Billy said with an almost wistful sigh, getting up and starting down the hall, "I'll pick up Zack, okay?"
"Sounds good. Adam is going to met Tanya." Rocky replied. Billy heard the three of them talking quietly as he walked down the hall. Billy knew he shouldn't be this nervous. He was going to see hid oldest friend, after all. 'The pain medication has been increased, he should be better than when you last saw him.' Billy thought trying to convince himself of that. Still, his nerves wouldn't be abated.
It was better than Billy had expected it to be. That first step into Jason's room found Billy rewarded with a wide grin. Jason was leaning against the headboard and when Billy entered the room Jason glanced up, his midnight eyes meeting light emerald ones.
"Are you okay?" Jason asked quietly.
Billy almost laughed at the question. It seemed to him that he should be asking that question of Jason not vise versa. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Good." Jason answered reading the expressions in the green eyes of his friend as if reading a book. "I was worried about you."
Billy took a seat in the chair beside Jason's bed and looked intently at his friend, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Jase. I shouldn't have gotten so mad it's just...I always thought you'd be there whenever I needed you. You were always someone I could turn to and trust. We both know I'm not really open with a lot of people. I didn't mean what I said..."
"Yes, you did Billy. You know you did." Jason interrupted him making sure Billy met his eyes. "Don't tell me you didn't mean every word because I know you did."
"I'm still sorry." Billy remarked.
"Yeah, me too." Jason replied. Billy looked at him, slightly confused. "I'm sorry any of this had to happen, that I'm putting you all through this."
"You don't exactly have a choice in the matter, Jason." Billy commented softly.
Jason shrugged. "I still would have liked to spare you all seeing me like this though." Pausing for a second, Jason continued, "You know, I almost turned down Tommy when he offered to let me move in."
"Why on Earth would you do that?" Billy wondered aloud.
"I didn't want to be a burden to him or anyone else. I didn't want him to have to see me like this either. I considered going with my parents for awhile just so I could spare you, and the others, from seeing me so helpless. If Tommy hadn't offered I would have moved into a hospice." Jason replied.
"Do you regret the decision?" Billy asked gently.
"No, I don't." Jason replied. "I regret putting you and Tommy and the others through this but I'm glad that I get to die with all of you here. I didn't want to die alone."
"Jason, none of us would have ever let you die alone. We've always been there for each other, through everything. This is no different. We would never desert you. I don't think any of us would be able to or would have wanted to." Billy said sincerely. "Rangers never let each other down, you know that."
Jason chuckled softly, a wide grin spreading over his face, "God, that seems like a long time ago. Even after all that's happened I don't regret taking the Power from Zordon."
"What do you mean?" Billy questioned seeing the small flash of sadness in his friend's eyes.
"The doctor told me there was an element in my blood that caused the cancer to spread faster, the same element that caused the pain attacks to be more violent and the reaction to the medication," Jason replied slowly not sure if he should be telling Billy this. "I know it wasn't there before I became a Ranger. I donated blood to my younger cousin two months before Zordon gave me the Red Ranger powers, we have the same blood type and he needed blood badly. There were no abnormalities then. I couldn't donate when they had a blood drive at the Peace Conference and neither could Trini or Zack. There was no one who could accept our blood without going into anaphylactic shook. My blood has something in it, an abnormality. I'm betting your and the others have it as well."
"Being a Ranger caused this?" Billy asked horrified at the aspect.
"No, my family has a history of cancer. My grandfather died of prostate cancer when I was ten. You came to the funeral with me remember? My father had a tumour removed from his stomach when I was fourteen. I always knew I was at risk, I just never thought it would show up this soon. Or that the results would be what they are," Jason replied grimly but saw Billy wasn't quite convinced.
"Being a Ranger didn't cause the cancer, it would have come up whether I had been a Ranger or not. The abnormality in my blood caused a few complications," Jason answered and seeing Billy's slightly surprised expression continued, "I got my family doctor to pull up all the medical jargon they had on two weeks after I was diagnosed to see what was going on. I picked up on the abnormality. When Dr. Johnson told me it was an element in my blood that caused the reaction I knew it was the same element."
"Oh God, Jase. The Power was supposed to protect us, not hurt us." Billy exclaimed softly. Before he could say anything more Jason interrupted him.
"I don't regret it, Billy," Jason told him with a steady look in his dark eyes, "I've never regretted it, not for a moment. Becoming a Ranger was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I will never regret taking the Powers from Zordon. It let me do so much good."
Billy bit back the tears that had managed to well up in his eyes, "That always was the most important thing for you and I know you don't regret taking the Powers. But if they caused you pain than I can't help be mad."
"Who are you mad at?" Jason inquired softly.
For a second Billy was stumped. Then he sighed and replied quietly, "I don't know. I'm mad at...at whoever decided this fate needed to be yours. I mean, there are millions of other people in the world. Why you? Why now?"
"I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself that same question. But asking that question doesn't do anything except make me confused and angry so I stopped asking it. If you're angry it's okay, you have a right to be, it's part of grief I think. Just don't let that anger get in the way of everything else, okay? Don't block yourself off from everyone like I know you do in situations like this one," Jason replied earnestly.
Billy studied his friend carefully for a few moments, "You're more philosophical now then you ever were," He remarked somewhat dryly.
Jason chuckled softly glad to see Billy attempting to lighten this heavy load, "Yeah, I guess so."
"You're really ready, aren't you?" Billy asked softly looking Jason in the eye. Jason meet the intense gaze from Billy's green pools without hesitation.
"Yes and no." Jason replied softly. "I'm ready to die. I'm not scared, not anymore but I...I don't think I'm ready to leave you guys. Once everyone gets here, once I have the chance to say good bye then I'll be ready." Jason replied.
Billy said nothing but smiled weakly at Jason. He didn't trust his ability to keep his voice steady. Silently Billy put his arms around Jason and Jason returned the offered embrace as best he could. No tears came. It was not an occasion for crying. The only thing that had been spoken had been the truth. It was a hard, bitter truth at that but true nonetheless. Billy found no reason to cry. Jason remained unfazed by the fact that his death was near and Billy, though his heart was breaking, would not let his own feelings of anger and sadness get in the way when he spent time with Jason. There wasn't any point for that and Billy didn't want to waste the time they had left together.
******
When Tanya arrived Jason was sleeping and when Billy returned with Zack at six he still slept. No one had the heart to wake him when he looked so peaceful. Jason didn't awaken until Dr. Johnson came to examine him. Tommy noted that the periods when Jason slept were becoming longer with each passing day as if to make sure they all knew he got weaker every day. Tommy had the urge to slug someone or something out of frustration that stemmed from the unfairness of it all, of the world. Thinking about why and how something like this could happen to a person like Jason only made him angry and incredibly depressed so he pushed any questioning thoughts out of his mind for a time after all this was over.
"Hey Tommy," Zack remarked from behind Tommy, who stood staring out the window lost in his miserable musings, "Got a minute?"
"Sure," Tommy replied, wondering what his friend wanted to talk about. The two of them went into the kitchen. Zack picked up his half finished mug of coffee before taking a seat at the kitchen table. Tommy grabbed a cup for himself before joining him.
For a second they sat in silence as Zack didn't know how to begin. Finally he blurted out, "Thank you."
"Thank you!? Why are you thanking me?" Tommy asked clearly surprised. He wasn't sure what he had expected his friend to say but thank you certainly wasn't it.
Zack shrugged and sighed softly, "You've been here for Jason all this time. I mean, you've really been there for him. I...well, I should have stayed in touch better. Called or wrote more often or something. The last time we spoke was about three weeks before you called."
"You talked to him on the phone while he's been living here, Zack. It's been less than three weeks," Tommy remarked.
"I mean before I knew," Zack replied, staring into his mug, "I wish I had made more of an effort to stay in touch. I wish I had taken the time to call Jase more often."
"It's not like I wasn't bad about staying in touch. When you guys were in Geneva..." Tommy began.
Zack forestalled any further comments by interrupting Tommy, "You called or wrote to each of us at least once a week. And you and Jason were in contact even more, at least every three days if not more often."
"That's because I needed his help," Tommy admitted softly, "I needed help dealing with the leader responsibilities. Calling him was mostly for my benefit, not his."
"You still called or wrote Trini I and at least once a week. That had nothing to do with Rangering. And I know you and Jase talked about more than Ranger business as well. I was forever walking in on his conversations with you. Half the time it wasn't remotely related to the Power Rangers." Zack added. "Tommy, you have been a better friend to Jason than I could ever hope to be. Do you know how many other people would have done this for a friend? Hardly any. I'm not even sure if I would be able to handle it."
"Jason needed me," Tommy replied simply, "I couldn't have not helped him. I owe him too much not to be there when he needs me."
Zack studied his former teammate, it didn't surprise him how much conviction rang in Tommy's words. There was a certain rightness to what Tommy was doing for Jason that, when Zack thought about it, seemed perfectly natural because of the relationship they shared, which had stumped everyone from the start. 'He doesn't even realize what he's doing is anything out of the ordinary.' Zack realized, 'He didn't do this for any other reason than he cares that much about Jase.'
"Jason is a lucky guy, he has you as a friend," Zack said finally.
Tommy chuckled somewhat ruefully before replying, "Rocky said almost exactly the same thing to me couple days ago. I think you've both got it wrong. I'm the lucky one. If Jason hadn't saved me that day on the beach and if he hadn't taken me in afterwards I..." Tommy broke off and looked away as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, "I don't want to think about what kind of person I would be if Jason hadn't saved me that day. I don't like to think about what would have happened to me if he hadn't let me lean on him all those times. I'm just lucky that I can call Jason my friend, that I can say he's part of my family."
"We're all blessed to know Jason," Zack agreed, "but we're not the only fortunate ones. If you asked Jason I bet he'd tell you he's the one who's lucky."
Tommy laughed softly, "He has said that, many times before. I just wish I could get him to understand how much he means to me, us. I don't thinks he understands why I'm doing this."
"Do you understand why your doing this, Tommy?" Zack questioned quietly.
Tommy did not hesitate to answer, "Of course. He's my friend, brother, I love him. I don't want him to spend his last days alone in a hospital when he should be here with his friends. I know he would do the same for me."
Zack nodded briefly, "You know, since the beginning there's always been something different about the relationship the two of you have. I doubt that anyone else in our group would have been able to handle this much but you do it without realizing how uncommon what your doing is."
Tommy shrugged, glancing unconsciously at the picture of Jason, himself, Billy, Adam and Rocky that hung on the wall along side one of the original Ranger team, "I was taught the beauty of any act of kindness by the best. Jason would do the same for me and than some. I know he would, just like I know if it was possible to do more to help him I would, no matter what the cost."
Zack was about to say something when their 'heart to heart' was interrupted by Dr. Johnson, "Mr. Oliver, may I have a quick word?"
"Yeah, sure," Tommy replied getting up from the table. "Can Zack see Jason, now?"
"Yes, he's awake." Dr. Johnson replied.
Zack got up and headed towards Jason's room, passing Rocky and Billy who were talking quietly in the living room as he did so. Tanya had gone home for a change of clothes and a shower. Tommy walked into the hall with Dr. Johnson, waiting for the doctor to explain the latest medical development Jason had to suffer through. He re-entered the apartment only a few minutes later after Dr. Johnson had headed home. He joined Rocky and Billy who both looked up expectantly when he walked into the room.
"What's the verdict?" Rocky asked quickly as Tommy flopped into a vacant chair.
"New medication," Tommy replied. "It's the limit of what they can give. You basically don't get much higher than this without getting into things that knock you out completely."
"Shit," Rocky commented knowing what that meant concerning Jason's ever deteriorating health.
"They tested everything a lot to make sure Jason wouldn't have any more reactions," Tommy added more for his own reassurance than to reassure the two former Blue Rangers, "This is heavy, guys. The others better not have any delays in getting here."
"That bad, huh?" Billy intoned quietly.
"Yeah, that bad," Tommy sighed, "It...It won't be long now. These injections Jason will start tomorrow are strong enough to let him be alert enough to say his goodbyes. That's what they're for."
Billy paled at Tommy's words, "Does Jason know?"
Tommy nodded, "Yeah, Dr. Johnson told him," Seeing the looks on the faces of his former teammates Tommy added, "Jason is ready to go...or at least he will be once the others get here."
"I know, he's ready but I don't think I'm ready to let him go," Billy admitted sheepishly.
Tommy looked pained at his words, "We can't ask him to keep fighting a battle that isn't his. We can't ask him to live in pain any longer than he wants to. If it wasn't for his need to see everyone I think he would have let go before now."
Billy sighed softly, "I know you're right; that it's unfair to put him through anymore pain. But I still don't want him to leave us. I don't want to let him go."
"Billy..." Tommy began, afraid that when the end came the former Blue Ranger would do or say something to make Jason try and hold on for longer than he had to. The last thing Tommy wanted was to see his friend suffer and longer than he already had.
"I know I can't tell Jason," Billy put in hastily, correctly guessing the look that crossed Tommy's face, "I wouldn't do that to him but it's hard for me not to hold on."
Tommy clamped a hand on Billy's shoulder, silently wishing he could ease the suffering of all his friends. It was an impossible task or at least one he couldn't undertake on his own. All he could do was offer comfort to them while trying to deal with his own grief. For his former teammates, who knew that this was affecting Tommy more than he let on, it was enough.
