And now it's time for....
Amazin' Author Notes!:
Hmmm... still here I see. Thanks! *suddenly feels better* This chapter tries to answer the immortal question - How is The Brotherhood of Mutants Like a Can of Green Beans? (*slashy warning* - gets a little heavy at the end - nothing graphic. Well, maybe a little graphic *grins foolishly*).
"Flip Side"
Fred J. Dukes, also known as The Blob, was sitting at the kitchen table in the old house occupied by the members of the Brotherhood of Mutants. He squinted in concentration at the book in front of him, his face covered in a light sheen of sweat. His ears were bright red and his knuckles were white as they clutched the text.
"I can't DO this Lance," Fred said through clenched teeth, his voice filled with frustration, directed toward the brown-haired youth occupying the chair next to him.
"Yes, you can, Freddy," Lance replied. "Now keep going. Chapter Five, start right here." Lance pointed to the page, his voice filled with conviction. Fred took a deep breath and cleared his throat, making a sound similar to a growl.
"'Tom... woke... Harry the.... next... morning with... his... u...u...' Dammit!" Fred swore, making a move to throw the book across the room. However, Lance's firm hand on his arm made him pause in his actions. As a sort of compromise, Fred let the book 'thud' down to the table and ran a pudgy hand through his hair. "This is stupid," Fred began, shaking his head. "No, I'M stupid. I can't even read a damn kid's book!"
"You are NOT stupid," Lance said, staring hard at Fred. "You've already read up to chapter five."
"It took me over a week!" Fred said loudly, his left eye twitching slightly.
"That's beside the point," Lance retorted. "The point is, you did read it and you're getting much better. Reading takes practice Fred."
"Well... well... SCREW THIS!" Fred roared, starting to stand up. "I don't NEED this crap anyway."
"The HELL you don't!" Lance yelled back, his limited patience quickly running out. He closed his eyes briefly and gave the ground a small shake, causing Fred to lose his balance and fall back into his chair.
"Now you are going to SIT HERE and READ this DAMN BOOK if it takes US ALL YEAR," Lance continued, jabbing his pointer finger towards Fred's face with every yelled word, causing the large adolescent to cringe. "I've put TOO MUCH work into this the past three weeks for you to give up on me now, GOT IT?"
"Yeah, yeah! Geez, Lance! Calm down! I'll read it, I'll read it!" Fred said, holding his hands in a warding gesture. He reached down and picked up the book.
"Good," Lance said with a nod and a smile, retaking his seat. "Because, dammit, we're gonna get you reading on grade level if it kills us both."
Fred swallowed audibly.
* * * * * *
Pietro leaned on the shopping cart in front of him, trying to stifle a yawn. He drummed his fingers on the cart's handle, the digits of his hand moving so fast they were a blur, the tapping a steady hum. He abruptly ceased his nervous movement when a middle-aged woman gave him an odd-glare as she rolled her own cart past him.
"Afternoon," Pietro told her, his voice oozing with false sentiment, flashing her a bright smile. The woman's glare deepened and she shook her head, speeding up to get away from him. Pietro chuckled.
"Something funny, Maximoff?"
Pietro turned his head and saw Todd hopping towards him, a case of cola under his arm. He smiled at the younger mutant and shrugged.
"Nothing really," Pietro replied. "Just thinking." He looked at the soda as Todd dumped it in the cart. "Diet?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"For Freddy," Todd explained.
"Ahh."
They continued shopping, slowly strolling down the aisles, occasionally dumping things in the cart. Pietro kept a total running in his mind, each item deducting from the very small amount of money they had to spend. Pietro pulled a can of green beans off the shelf and was about to add them to their purchases when he paused, glaring at the suddenly offensive item. Todd noticed Pietro's change in expression and looked carefully at his ally.
"You okay?" the Toad asked, taking a step away from the cart. The weirdest things could set the speed-demon off these days.
"DoYouRealizeThatOurEntireLivesCouldBeSummedUpByThisOneCanOfGreenBeans?" Pietro said so quickly, it took Todd a few seconds to sort it out.
"Uhm... what?" Todd asked, confused. "Green beans? We're green beans?"
"No, no, no, no, no. Not the green beans, the CAN, TheCan!" Pietro replied, shaking said can in Todd's face. "LookAtTheCan!"
"Well hold it still!" Todd snapped, snatching it out of Pietro's hand. Todd looked closely at the can of green beans, turning it around in his hand, studying it. Then he looked at his agitated friend. "It's a can of green beans, Pietro," Todd reported. Pietro made a little growling sound and slapped his hand to his forehead, then grabbed the can back.
"It's a can of GENERIC green beans," Pietro told him, speaking slowly and clearly so that he was certain Tolensky would understand. "STORE BRAND," he emphasized. "We can never buy the GOOD green beans - Del Monte, Green Giant - we always buy STORE BRAND!"
Todd scratched his head, feeling even more confused. "They're forty cents cheaper," he returned by way of explanation, pointing to the price labels. "They taste exactly the same. We don't need to buy the more expensive stuff."
"This is like a status symbol, Tolensky," Pietro continued, shoving the can in Todd's face again. "We're not GOOD enough to by non-store brand canned produce! Don't you want to buy non-store brand canned produce for once? Don't you? Don't you?!"
Todd stared at his friend. Then, he slowly reached up his hand and extracted the can from Pietro's grip. "I'm going to put this in the basket now, Pietro," Todd said, keeping his voice even and soft. It was like trying to sooth a savage beast. "Why don't you walk over there and go get some of that soy milk you like while I finish getting the vegetables, okay?" Pietro continued to glare at the can as it began its descent into the basket. The sound of the aluminum hitting the basket sent a cold shiver up his back. Then he blinked.
"Yeah, I'll get the soy milk," Pietro said suddenly, then zipped off.
Todd let out a huge breath he didn't even realize he was holding. "I've got to talk to Lance about this," he muttered.
* * * * * *
Fred carefully closed the book before him and let it fall to the bed in his room. The giant adolescent rubbed his tired eyes, sighing deeply. This reading stuff sucked!
There was no denying that Fred was a big and strong guy. It was just something that defined him. He had a feeling he was probably big as a baby, but he never knew his mother so he really couldn't ask. God only knew where his father was. Fred didn't even realize he was a mutant until he was approached by Mystique. He just figured the whole invulnerability stuff was kinda neat and never really gave it much thought.
Then again, he'd never given anything much thought. Being told to crush cars and lift busses didn't take much brainpower. He was big and strong - bigger and stronger than everyone! Why the hell did he need to use his brain? Fred always thought smart people were only smart because they couldn't be strong. When Fred found out he would be enrolled at Bayville High, a little knot of dread had settled in his stomach and wouldn't leave him alone. He had stopped going to school after about fifth grade. How the hell was he going to manage high school?
Luckily, Lance was there to help him.
"You may be big and strong," Fred remembered Lance telling him, "but that won't do much good when you're up against a lot of enemies that are smarter than you. You'd be amazed at how those jerks will come up with ways to out wit you. Believe me, I know."
Fred had to grudgingly admit that Lance was right. Thus began the almost nightly lessons - sitting at the dinning room table with Lance, trying to learn almost five years of lost grades. Fred got his times tables okay and long division really wasn't a problem. They skipped over learning to write in cursive because Fred thought it was kind of girly. Lance tutored him in history and current events, health science, biology, and English (that being verbs, nouns, predicates, subjects, etc). But the reading... Good God, the reading was the worst part.
Fred would stare at the books, looking at the little letters on the page, and his vision would start swimming. He tried to stay focused - really he did - but his mind would wander off. It was just so boring and so damn hard! For Lance, it was almost like some kind of divine mission to teach Fred to read. Lance loved reading. When the brown-haired Earth shaker wasn't working on his powers or swapping bodily fluids with Pietro, nine times out of ten you would find him with a book in his hands. Fred just didn't understand it. And that ticked him off.
The giant was startled out of his thoughts by a knocking on his door. "What?" he snapped, his mind still swirling with aggravation. The door opened and Todd stuck his head in the room.
"Pietro's acting weird so I'm leaving him with Lance. I got some stuff to do. Wanna come along?" he asked.
"Can we smash something? I really need to smash something," Fred told him. Todd shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Cool."
* * * * * *
"So," Lance began easily, putting the diet soda in the pantry, "Todd tells me you think we're green beans."
"Not the green beans, the can," came Pietro's muffled and miserable reply. Lance turned and saw his friend sitting on a stool, his head buried in his arms as he leaned on the kitchen island. Lance let out a small sigh and took the can out of the pantry, setting it in front of the white-haired youth.
"Look at the can again and slowly explain to me what you see," Lance told him. Pietro lifted his head. A cold shiver ran up Lance's spine - he had never seen Pietro's eyes so flat before.
"It's a can of generic green beans," Pietro began, reaching out and lifting the can. "It represents a great deal of who we are. We're store brand shoppers."
"And why does that bother you?" Lance asked, trying hard not to cringe. God, he sounded like the therapist on M.A.S.H.
"It's an inferior product," Pietro explained. "It speaks volumes of where we are, what our lives mean, and how much we can accomplish. We can't even manage to afford a can green beans with a nice label. I bet the X-Geeks get name-brand green beans."
"They probably have fresh ones," Lance said, unable to hold back a smile. Pietro gave him a look. With a chuckle, Lance took the can out of Pietro's hand and set it back on the table.
"I understand what you're saying Pietro," Lance began after a few moments, his eyes locked onto the can, "but I don't think it's an inferior product. True, the label isn't very attractive, the can's a little dented, and we don't have a quality-freshness seal, but as far as a can of green beans go, this one's doing a good job of it. It's not the best-funded can of green beans on the market, but it fulfills its role, just the same. In a way, I almost think it's a little stronger because of that." There was a brief silence between them. Then, Pietro reached out his hand and clasped Lance's own, intertwining their fingers.
"I don't think we're talking about a can of green beans anymore," Pietro murmured. Lance moved behind him and wrapped his arms around his chest.
"I'm not sure we ever were," he said, his voice breathy. Pietro tore his gaze away from the can and tilted his head back to look at Lance, then nuzzled his face in his friend's broad chest, breathing in his scent, listening to his heartbeat.
"I think I like you dented," Pietro said simply, breaking the silence.
Lance laughed.
* * * * * *
"Why do you need six cans of paint?" Fred asked Todd as they walked out of the home improvement store, all said six cans being carried by Fred.
"Because I want to tile the bathroom," Todd answered, rolling his eyes.
"Oh," Fred replied. Then his brows furrowed in confusion. "Shouldn't you have gotten tiles then?" Todd sighed and began to massage his temples.
"I was being sarcastic, Freddy," Todd said evenly.
"Oh."
They walked in silence a bit more.
"Why do you need paint?"
Todd fought the urge to scream. "Because I want to paint somethin,' alright?" he snapped.
"Fine, fine," Fred replied, slightly annoyed. "No need to bite my head off."
Todd sighed again. "I'm sorry," he began. "I'm just worried about Pietro, you know?"
"Yeah," Fred said with a frown, having heard what happened from Todd. "Does he really think we're green beans?"
"I don't know," returned the smaller youth. They fell into silence again.
"What do you want to paint?" Fred asked after a moment. Todd shrugged.
"I don't know."
* * * * * *
When Todd and Freddy finally returned to the house, it was very quiet. There was no sign of Lance or Pietro downstairs. Todd frowned and turned to Fred.
"Go ahead and put the paint down by that wall over there," Todd instructed, pointing to a rather ugly gray wall on the far side of the living room. Fred did as told while Todd went upstairs, trying to keep as quiet as possible.
Skipping over the squeaky step, Todd softly padded down the hallway, stopping in front of the room he knew Lance and Pietro shared. He put his ear to the door and listened. The sounds of moans and the creaking of bedsprings was absent for a change, but Todd wasn't sure if that was a good sign. He'd sort of been hoping Lance would be able to set Pietro straight - well, as straight as either of them could really get. Lance had this quality about him of being able to help them sort out their problems without making them feel ridiculous, which Todd, having had his fair share of therapy, knew was a rare gift indeed. Without bothering to knock, Todd slowly turned the handle and opened the door, still trying to stay as quiet as possible.
The bed was rumpled but nobody was in it. Todd moved into the room and heard the sounds of the shower coming from the master bathroom, as well as two distinct male voices. Not wanting to hear anymore than that, Todd hopped out of the room and closed the door, giving a small sigh of relief.
So long as Lance and Pietro were getting it on, all was good in the house of the Brotherhood of Mutants. Todd quickly hopped downstairs.
Fred was sitting on the couch, eating some cold pizza that had been left over in the fridge while he flipped television stations. They couldn't afford cable, so there were really only six stations to flip. It was kind of disappointing, really. He looked up as Todd returned to the living room.
"They okay up there?" Fred asked. Todd nodded.
"They're in the shower." The Toad smiled as he saw an involuntary shudder run through Fred's body.
"That's too weird."
"We are weird, Fred," Todd replied, moving to his paints. Fred eye's widened in surprise as he sat up to look at him.
"You're gay, too?" Fred asked incredulously. "What, is it catching?" A slight panic filled his eyes and Todd knew that Fred was suddenly worried about getting gay on him.
"No, I'm not gay Fred," Todd reassured him. "But you have to admit, we are weird." Fred visibly relaxed.
"Yeah, I guess we are."
Todd shook his head and turned back to the wall before him, a little smile on his face. He backed up and maneuvered himself into the crouching position he found most comfortable and just stared at the wall.
After all, this was no ordinary wall.
* * * * * *
Pietro sighed, closed his eyes, and shook his head at sub-sonic speed, letting the water fly out of his hair. Lance gave a little yelp. Pietro opened his eyes and saw his lover, dripping a little more than he should have been, considering he had just dried himself off.
"Oops," Pietro said simply.
"You know," Lance said, grumbling slightly, "I already took my shower. It probably isn't good for your brain for you to be tossing your head around like that." Pietro shrugged.
"Sorry," he said with a sheepish look. "It's just instinct. Ever since my mutant powers emerged, I've always been drying off like that."
"Why don't you let me show you another way," Lance said with a dark grin, grabbing a clean towel of the rack next to the shower. He held out his hand and helped Pietro step out of the tub and onto the bathroom floor. "Close your eyes," Lance told him. Pietro complied.
Standing there with your eyes closed waiting for something you know is going to feel good to happen is a hard enough wait for anyone, but for someone who's mind moved about five times faster than anyone else's, it was pure torture. "Lance..." Pietro pleaded after less than a minute.
"My, we are so impatient," Lance said with a chuckle. It was then Pietro began to feel the soft towel moving across his back, Lance sort of massaging the soft terry cloth into his skin. Pietro moaned, pressing back against Lance's hand, feeling his skin flush. This was all just so kinky!
The towel moved to his chest, up and around his neck, and Pietro could feel Lance's radiating heat behind him. Predictably, the towel dipped down around his thighs, past his knees, around his calves, even across the tops of his feet before it slid back up his body. The towel was then brushed across his face, removing any stray droplets from his head-shaking maneuver. There were a few seconds pause after that, followed by the sound of the towel hitting the ground.
"Missed a spot," Pietro said through clenched teeth.
"I know," he heard Lance whisper in his ear. Pietro suddenly felt himself lifted off the ground by Lance's strong arms, carried the five feet to the bed, and unceremoniously dropped on to it. Pietro opened his eyes at this point as Lance covered his body with his own, slowly running a line of fierce kisses down his throat. Pietro tilted his head back and sighed.
"You know, we just got cleaned up..." Pietro said, his voice catching a little as Lance's hand brushed over his navel and started it's descent south.
"I'm not opposed to multiple showers in one day," Lance said quickly, moving up so that he was nose to nose with Pietro again. Lance kissed him deeply, causing nearly every coherent thought Pietro had to swiftly flee from his mind. Soon, Lance began to make his way down Pietro's body again and the white-haired mutant closed his eyes tightly, feeling slightly enraptured.
And Pietro knew at that moment he would take an ugly labeled, slightly dented, low cost can of store-bought common green beans over any snotty, name-brand item in the world.
And that was okay.
