Disclaimer: See previous ones.
Author's Note: I'M BACK!! Didja miss me? In case anyone is wondering/cares France was wonderful and I didn't want to leave and I miss my friends there! *Sigh* That's the worst part of all vactions: they end. Anyway, here is the long in coming and inevitable Tommy/Kim chapter. I've always been told pink and red clash but T & K go together. Hense the title. Hope you like it! And, of course, thanks to my reviewers. And a special thanks goes to Hamspam, Shawn, Morgan and Symbolic Agony for their everlasting support.
Chapter 10
Who Says Pink and Red Clash?
It was about eleven the next morning when a soft knock sounded on Tommy's front door. Most of the retired Rangers had gathered there. The few missing from their ranks were either picking people up or having just barely arrived in Angel Grove themselves. Soon enough they would all be gathered in the same apartment for the first time in years. It would be the last time they were all together again. Tommy went to answer the door, glad to have some sort of distraction as the talk between the friends gathered in the living room was strained from stress, weariness and grief. Tommy, for one, hadn't slept in the last twenty-four hours and knew he would get little to no sleep over the next day or two. The others, through not as tired as he was, had also spent many a sleepless night since the first time the dreaded news reached them.
Tommy opened the front door quickly, coming face to face with someone very familiar. It had been a long time since they had sat down and talked. Mostly short conversations with one or more of their friends present had been what the two one time lovers shared so far. It wasn't much when you considered their past history. Tommy found she had hardly changed at all except her chestnut hair was a little longer and her face was slightly more mature looking. She was still as beautiful as he remembered though, that had definitely not changed.
"Kim, how are you?" Tommy swallowed inaudibly.
"I'm alright. You?" Kim replied.
"It's been hard these last few weeks." Tommy answered honestly. Kim knew Tommy well, better than anyone, except Jason, and she could tell he was holding up as leader but that this was taking it's toll on him.
"How's Jason?" Kim asked dreading the news. She knew it wouldn't be good, no matter what it was.
"The doctor gave him a new medication. It seems like he's better for awhile and then he kind of drifts off. It means the pain attacks have stopped but..." Tommy sighed, breaking the news of what this new medication meant was hard. "The drugs are only given to people who have a few days left. It's so he can say his good byes."
"How long?" Kim asked in a soft voice. Tommy felt tears in his eyes and saw them in Kim's eyes too.
"One or two days." Tommy answered. "It's less time then we thought. His parents probably won't make it in time."
"Oh God. Who's with him now?" Kim's voice almost broke but she managed to keep it together. If she started crying now she knew she would never stop.
"Adam. Jason's asleep. The pain killers make him drowsy after an hour or so. It's better if he doesn't fight it when he needs to rest. If he taxes his strength the pain starts to come back." Tommy replied softly. "He should probably be up within about half an hour."
"What about you? When's the last time you got some sleep?" Kim asked noticing the dark circles under Tommy's eyes. Tommy shrugged.
"Someone has to stay with, Jase. Rocky or Adam used to stay for part of the afternoon so I could get some sleep but now...I just can't leave him." Tommy replied. "I know it's not the best for me but I can't leave Jason. He's so helpless now..." Tommy swallowed and didn't finish the sentence.
Kim had never seen Tommy so worked up about something. He was very close to breaking into tears right then and that it broke her heart. Had it not been for the awkwardness between them she would have hugged him but as it was she didn't dare to.
"How are you holding up, Tommy? Don't lie to me about it, I know you too well." Kim asked knowing her former boyfriend never wanted to break in front of his friends, that was part of the reason he left after he lost the Green Ranger Powers.
"I don't matter at the moment. Jason does. There will be time for me to cry later but now I can't let myself break down," Tommy replied softly. He knew Kim was the only one he had admitted that too and that he didn't plan to admit it to anyone else either. But he still felt as though Kim was his soul mate, just seeing her stirred something in him that had lay dormant for years. He would say nothing, it was not something he wanted to burden her with, not after what Jason had told him.
"You can come in." Tommy said in a husky voice. He was doing all he could not to let any weakness show in front of any Rangers but Jason, past or present, "Adam, Billy and Katherine are already here and Trini called to say she was coming over soon. Rocky will be here after his classes. Zack and Tanya went to pick up Aisha when she arrived at the airport. Her plane has been delayed for half and hour."
Kat and Billy were sitting in Tommy's living room, talking quietly about nothing in particular. Adam was sitting with Jason. There was always someone with him, even when Jason was sleeping. Greetings went around the living room when Kim entered the room but no one could find the strength to say anything much. It was too hard to pretend to be happy when a good friend was slipping away in the next room.
"Kim, I know this may sound strange, but it helps to see, Jase. Just seeing him sleeping peacefully...it can help." Billy suggested quietly after watching Kim fiddle with her hands and try to concentrate on the small talk for a few minutes.
"I'm going to sit with him now." Tommy added knowing it would probably help Kim somewhat; it had always comforted him, "You can come with me."
Kim nodded and followed Tommy. She had never thought such a small hallway could seem so long. Tommy went in first letting Adam know he could go into the living room with the others for awhile. Adam smiled softly in greeting as he passed Kim, placing a reassuring hand on her arm for a split second. Kim knew she would need the support. Tommy could walk into Jason's room without a pause, he had done it many times before, but Kim was terrified of what Jason would look like. Kim had always thought of Jason as a big brother, someone to look up to and someone who protected her. Seeing him in pain was going to be hard on her. When she did find enough courage to go in Kim found that it wasn't as bad as she had been prepared for but not as good as she had hoped for.
Kim stood in the doorway for a few seconds before walking over to his bedside and sitting down in the seat Adam had just vacated.
"Oh Jase." Kim whispered gently as she touched his cheek and her heart broke for him. "He looks so peaceful."
Tommy had to agree with her on that. Sunlight had spilled through the curtains and played across Jason's sleeping face. It gave an almost angelic look to the former Ranger who was somewhere in a dreamworld where the pain could not reach him. Tommy committed the image to memory knowing he had to keep moments like this with him. Kim was staring at Jason as well, memorizing him by heart. From what Billy and Rocky had told her she knew to keep something like this in her final memories of Jason.
"He should be waking up soon," Tommy told her, "He's been asleep for awhile and he was given another dose of medication just before you got here."
"I bet Jason isn't really happy about being on pain medication." Kim smiled somewhat ruefully at the thought. Jason had always tried to grit his teeth and bare it, even refusing Alpha's offer of a pain killer when he was injured in battle.
"He's not. But there's no other way. It would be too much, even for Jase." Tommy commented sadly. "He knows that and that there's nothing to be ashamed about but he wishes he didn't need them."
"You'd be exactly the same way." Kim thought out loud.
Tommy cracked half a rueful grin at that, "Yeah, I would. We're so similar sometimes...I don't know if I would have been able to deal with everything as well as Jason has though."
Kim saw Tommy turn away for a second and could tell by the slight shudder of his shoulders that he was fighting to gain control of his tears. Kim didn't know what to do. A few years ago she would have simply wrapped her arms around him but now...now she wasn't sure. After a few seconds Tommy managed to gather his composure and turned back to Kim, his eyes slightly red but his cheeks dry.
"Do you want to sit with him for awhile?" Tommy asked softly.
Kim nodded, unsure of how steady her voice would be but chancing it anyway, "Yeah, if you don't mind."
"Not at all. If you need anything, or if Jason does, just call me okay?" Tommy replied meeting Kim's gaze for a split second before glancing away.
"I will," Kim told him having seen the slight worry that laced Tommy's eyes constantly now.
Tommy started to say something but than thought better of it and only nodded. He paused in the doorway, glancing from Kim to Jason and back again before saying, "I'm glad you could make it, Kim."
Kim didn't know what to say to that but Tommy was gone before she had a chance to reply. She stared at the spot he had just vacated, letting her hand rest upon Jason's hand. To her surprise his fingers wrapped around hers. Glancing down at his face, Kim saw a pair of tired, dark eyes smiling at her.
"Hey Kim." Jason said softly, pushing himself up enough to half sit so he could speak to his long time friend more freely.
"Hey yourself," Kim replied forcing herself to smile, "How long have you been awake?"
"About a minute or so, not long," Jason answered, "I'm glad you made it."
"Me too, Jase. When Rocky called me I was on the first plane I could get," Kim confessed.
"What about your gymnastics? Didn't your coach say anything?" Jason asked softly.
Kim blushed slightly, "Actually, the last competition I was in was my final one. I've reached my peak and don't want to hold on to my 'glory days' now that they're over."
"You've reached your peak already?" Jason echoed, surprised at that comment.
Kim nodded, "Female gymnasts tend to be very young in the beginning and still young when they finish. I've been out of my prime for almost half a year now, it's time to call it quits."
"What are you going to do now?" Jason asked.
"I'm not sure yet. Maybe I'll try coaching or maybe I'll go to college and than go into teaching. I haven't decided yet," Kim replied feeling greatly relived that there seemed to be no awkwardness despite the bad circumstances.
They continued to talk for almost half an hour. The range of topics varied greatly from gymnastics and Kim's successes in that field, to the past, to what Kim planned to do in the future and briefly touching upon the cancer that was killing Jason right before his friends' eyes. Kim felt, to her surprise, that the ease of talking to Jason about anything had not faded because of the disease robbing him of his life. Instead she felt as comfortable talking to him as she had in years gone by. There was a difference though, when the two friends talked about the future Jason had deftly left out any talk of his own future knowing by now that the word future for him had no meaning, past what would happen in the next day or so. It was a fact he didn't like to touch upon often. Knowing that you have no future is a scarey feeling.
After a while Jason started to feel rather weary but ignored it for as long as he could. He enjoyed talking with Kim, and his other friends, too much to let his weakness get in the way. However, if he kept it up to long, Jason knew he would pay for it. Sighing softly, Jason decided it was time to tell Kim about the conversation he had had with Tommy a few days prior.
"Kim, I told Tommy about Kyle," Jason said once there was a pause in the conversation and the opportunity arose.
"Oh," Kim said trying to appear nonchalant, "What did he say?"
"That he wanted to tear Kyle to pieces," Jason replied. "He wondered why you didn't tell him in the first place and said he wished he could have helped you through it."
"I'm sure he's glad now he stayed out of it," Kim commented wincing slightly at the memory of dropping that letter into the mailbox. "After all, who would want to deal with 'damaged goods?'" Kim added referring to one of the many things she had been called after that fiasco.
"That's not true, you know he still loves you." Jason whispered feeling his exhaustion catching up to him. Kim sighed.
"Jase, I know I made a mistake dumping him because of that jerk, I know that. But Tommy's moved on, he's gotten over me. He can't possibly love me now," Kim replied very softly.
"But he does, Kim. Trust me." Jason felt his strength fading. A few small rushes of pain were coming back and Jason desperately needed to rest but the need to fix things was stronger. "He's going to need you more than ever soon."
"Your being my big brother again, aren't you?" Kim smiled sadly through her grief.
"To the end." Jason managed. Kim felt her bottom lip quiver as tears flooded her eyes. Jason figured it was time to do something about this dilemma.
"Tommy!" Jason called using every once of strength he could muster. Kim was so surprised she couldn't make a sound.
Tommy practically came running into the room. When he heard Jason call his heart froze with fear, upon entering the room he realized that Jason wouldn't have had the strength to call out if something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Tommy asked unable to hide the worry from his voice. Jason nodded slowly.
"Come here, Tommy." Jason managed to get out. His voice had become extremely hoarse.
Tommy looked confused but went to Jason's bedside, on the opposite side as Kim. Jason found his voice was too weak to convey what he wanted to say. Very slowly, very weakly, Jason took Tommy's hand and placed it on top of Kim's, which rested next to his own, curling Tommy's fingers around Kim's hand. Jason smiled softly and let his eyes close slowly when he saw Tommy made no move to lift his hand. A few seconds later Jason had given in to the siren song of the dreamworld and fallen fast asleep.
Tommy looked from Jason's face, still holding the slightest hint of a smile on it, to Kim's face where tears shimmered on her cheeks. Tommy found he couldn't look away. With his other hand he gently wiped away her tears and let his hand stay on her cheek when she took her other hand and put it on top of his.
"Tommy I..." Kim began before a small sob escaped her lips.
Without realizing it Tommy had moved to the other side of Jason's bed. Suddenly Tommy found he was right beside his first love, though how he got there so quickly and unnoticeably as he had Tommy would never understand. Drawing the small women into his arms Tommy felt Kim shudder slightly as she wept.
"Shh. It's okay, Kim." Tommy managed though his voice was rough with emotion.
"I...I love y...you, Tommy..." Kim murmured. "I never stopped...I'm sorry...I just couldn't deal with everything and I was scared of what you'd think...I'm sorry...I know it was stupid but..."
Kim broke off, her shoulders shuddering slightly with silent sobs. Tommy hugged her close but didn't speak. He didn't trust his own voice not to break. Finally he managed to whisper a few words in an effort to comfort his distraught, former girlfriend.
"It's alright, Kim. It's alright," Tommy murmured softly not knowing what else to say.
"How can you say that? Nothing is alright anymore...Jason..." Kim stammered.
"Shh. I know, Beautiful. I know, I feel the same way," Tommy confessed. "I want, more than anything, for everything to be alright. I know it's not now but someday..." Tommy paused for a moment to compose himself, "someday it will be."
"Why Jason?" Kim whispered softly, looking up to search Tommy's eyes for an answer or some sort of reassurance.
Tommy exhaled softly and wondered how many times he had been asked or had asked that same question. It seemed to be repeating over and over, showing them the ugly truth without regret, "I wish I knew." Tommy whispered softly, "I wish I knew."
Author's Note: I'M BACK!! Didja miss me? In case anyone is wondering/cares France was wonderful and I didn't want to leave and I miss my friends there! *Sigh* That's the worst part of all vactions: they end. Anyway, here is the long in coming and inevitable Tommy/Kim chapter. I've always been told pink and red clash but T & K go together. Hense the title. Hope you like it! And, of course, thanks to my reviewers. And a special thanks goes to Hamspam, Shawn, Morgan and Symbolic Agony for their everlasting support.
Chapter 10
Who Says Pink and Red Clash?
It was about eleven the next morning when a soft knock sounded on Tommy's front door. Most of the retired Rangers had gathered there. The few missing from their ranks were either picking people up or having just barely arrived in Angel Grove themselves. Soon enough they would all be gathered in the same apartment for the first time in years. It would be the last time they were all together again. Tommy went to answer the door, glad to have some sort of distraction as the talk between the friends gathered in the living room was strained from stress, weariness and grief. Tommy, for one, hadn't slept in the last twenty-four hours and knew he would get little to no sleep over the next day or two. The others, through not as tired as he was, had also spent many a sleepless night since the first time the dreaded news reached them.
Tommy opened the front door quickly, coming face to face with someone very familiar. It had been a long time since they had sat down and talked. Mostly short conversations with one or more of their friends present had been what the two one time lovers shared so far. It wasn't much when you considered their past history. Tommy found she had hardly changed at all except her chestnut hair was a little longer and her face was slightly more mature looking. She was still as beautiful as he remembered though, that had definitely not changed.
"Kim, how are you?" Tommy swallowed inaudibly.
"I'm alright. You?" Kim replied.
"It's been hard these last few weeks." Tommy answered honestly. Kim knew Tommy well, better than anyone, except Jason, and she could tell he was holding up as leader but that this was taking it's toll on him.
"How's Jason?" Kim asked dreading the news. She knew it wouldn't be good, no matter what it was.
"The doctor gave him a new medication. It seems like he's better for awhile and then he kind of drifts off. It means the pain attacks have stopped but..." Tommy sighed, breaking the news of what this new medication meant was hard. "The drugs are only given to people who have a few days left. It's so he can say his good byes."
"How long?" Kim asked in a soft voice. Tommy felt tears in his eyes and saw them in Kim's eyes too.
"One or two days." Tommy answered. "It's less time then we thought. His parents probably won't make it in time."
"Oh God. Who's with him now?" Kim's voice almost broke but she managed to keep it together. If she started crying now she knew she would never stop.
"Adam. Jason's asleep. The pain killers make him drowsy after an hour or so. It's better if he doesn't fight it when he needs to rest. If he taxes his strength the pain starts to come back." Tommy replied softly. "He should probably be up within about half an hour."
"What about you? When's the last time you got some sleep?" Kim asked noticing the dark circles under Tommy's eyes. Tommy shrugged.
"Someone has to stay with, Jase. Rocky or Adam used to stay for part of the afternoon so I could get some sleep but now...I just can't leave him." Tommy replied. "I know it's not the best for me but I can't leave Jason. He's so helpless now..." Tommy swallowed and didn't finish the sentence.
Kim had never seen Tommy so worked up about something. He was very close to breaking into tears right then and that it broke her heart. Had it not been for the awkwardness between them she would have hugged him but as it was she didn't dare to.
"How are you holding up, Tommy? Don't lie to me about it, I know you too well." Kim asked knowing her former boyfriend never wanted to break in front of his friends, that was part of the reason he left after he lost the Green Ranger Powers.
"I don't matter at the moment. Jason does. There will be time for me to cry later but now I can't let myself break down," Tommy replied softly. He knew Kim was the only one he had admitted that too and that he didn't plan to admit it to anyone else either. But he still felt as though Kim was his soul mate, just seeing her stirred something in him that had lay dormant for years. He would say nothing, it was not something he wanted to burden her with, not after what Jason had told him.
"You can come in." Tommy said in a husky voice. He was doing all he could not to let any weakness show in front of any Rangers but Jason, past or present, "Adam, Billy and Katherine are already here and Trini called to say she was coming over soon. Rocky will be here after his classes. Zack and Tanya went to pick up Aisha when she arrived at the airport. Her plane has been delayed for half and hour."
Kat and Billy were sitting in Tommy's living room, talking quietly about nothing in particular. Adam was sitting with Jason. There was always someone with him, even when Jason was sleeping. Greetings went around the living room when Kim entered the room but no one could find the strength to say anything much. It was too hard to pretend to be happy when a good friend was slipping away in the next room.
"Kim, I know this may sound strange, but it helps to see, Jase. Just seeing him sleeping peacefully...it can help." Billy suggested quietly after watching Kim fiddle with her hands and try to concentrate on the small talk for a few minutes.
"I'm going to sit with him now." Tommy added knowing it would probably help Kim somewhat; it had always comforted him, "You can come with me."
Kim nodded and followed Tommy. She had never thought such a small hallway could seem so long. Tommy went in first letting Adam know he could go into the living room with the others for awhile. Adam smiled softly in greeting as he passed Kim, placing a reassuring hand on her arm for a split second. Kim knew she would need the support. Tommy could walk into Jason's room without a pause, he had done it many times before, but Kim was terrified of what Jason would look like. Kim had always thought of Jason as a big brother, someone to look up to and someone who protected her. Seeing him in pain was going to be hard on her. When she did find enough courage to go in Kim found that it wasn't as bad as she had been prepared for but not as good as she had hoped for.
Kim stood in the doorway for a few seconds before walking over to his bedside and sitting down in the seat Adam had just vacated.
"Oh Jase." Kim whispered gently as she touched his cheek and her heart broke for him. "He looks so peaceful."
Tommy had to agree with her on that. Sunlight had spilled through the curtains and played across Jason's sleeping face. It gave an almost angelic look to the former Ranger who was somewhere in a dreamworld where the pain could not reach him. Tommy committed the image to memory knowing he had to keep moments like this with him. Kim was staring at Jason as well, memorizing him by heart. From what Billy and Rocky had told her she knew to keep something like this in her final memories of Jason.
"He should be waking up soon," Tommy told her, "He's been asleep for awhile and he was given another dose of medication just before you got here."
"I bet Jason isn't really happy about being on pain medication." Kim smiled somewhat ruefully at the thought. Jason had always tried to grit his teeth and bare it, even refusing Alpha's offer of a pain killer when he was injured in battle.
"He's not. But there's no other way. It would be too much, even for Jase." Tommy commented sadly. "He knows that and that there's nothing to be ashamed about but he wishes he didn't need them."
"You'd be exactly the same way." Kim thought out loud.
Tommy cracked half a rueful grin at that, "Yeah, I would. We're so similar sometimes...I don't know if I would have been able to deal with everything as well as Jason has though."
Kim saw Tommy turn away for a second and could tell by the slight shudder of his shoulders that he was fighting to gain control of his tears. Kim didn't know what to do. A few years ago she would have simply wrapped her arms around him but now...now she wasn't sure. After a few seconds Tommy managed to gather his composure and turned back to Kim, his eyes slightly red but his cheeks dry.
"Do you want to sit with him for awhile?" Tommy asked softly.
Kim nodded, unsure of how steady her voice would be but chancing it anyway, "Yeah, if you don't mind."
"Not at all. If you need anything, or if Jason does, just call me okay?" Tommy replied meeting Kim's gaze for a split second before glancing away.
"I will," Kim told him having seen the slight worry that laced Tommy's eyes constantly now.
Tommy started to say something but than thought better of it and only nodded. He paused in the doorway, glancing from Kim to Jason and back again before saying, "I'm glad you could make it, Kim."
Kim didn't know what to say to that but Tommy was gone before she had a chance to reply. She stared at the spot he had just vacated, letting her hand rest upon Jason's hand. To her surprise his fingers wrapped around hers. Glancing down at his face, Kim saw a pair of tired, dark eyes smiling at her.
"Hey Kim." Jason said softly, pushing himself up enough to half sit so he could speak to his long time friend more freely.
"Hey yourself," Kim replied forcing herself to smile, "How long have you been awake?"
"About a minute or so, not long," Jason answered, "I'm glad you made it."
"Me too, Jase. When Rocky called me I was on the first plane I could get," Kim confessed.
"What about your gymnastics? Didn't your coach say anything?" Jason asked softly.
Kim blushed slightly, "Actually, the last competition I was in was my final one. I've reached my peak and don't want to hold on to my 'glory days' now that they're over."
"You've reached your peak already?" Jason echoed, surprised at that comment.
Kim nodded, "Female gymnasts tend to be very young in the beginning and still young when they finish. I've been out of my prime for almost half a year now, it's time to call it quits."
"What are you going to do now?" Jason asked.
"I'm not sure yet. Maybe I'll try coaching or maybe I'll go to college and than go into teaching. I haven't decided yet," Kim replied feeling greatly relived that there seemed to be no awkwardness despite the bad circumstances.
They continued to talk for almost half an hour. The range of topics varied greatly from gymnastics and Kim's successes in that field, to the past, to what Kim planned to do in the future and briefly touching upon the cancer that was killing Jason right before his friends' eyes. Kim felt, to her surprise, that the ease of talking to Jason about anything had not faded because of the disease robbing him of his life. Instead she felt as comfortable talking to him as she had in years gone by. There was a difference though, when the two friends talked about the future Jason had deftly left out any talk of his own future knowing by now that the word future for him had no meaning, past what would happen in the next day or so. It was a fact he didn't like to touch upon often. Knowing that you have no future is a scarey feeling.
After a while Jason started to feel rather weary but ignored it for as long as he could. He enjoyed talking with Kim, and his other friends, too much to let his weakness get in the way. However, if he kept it up to long, Jason knew he would pay for it. Sighing softly, Jason decided it was time to tell Kim about the conversation he had had with Tommy a few days prior.
"Kim, I told Tommy about Kyle," Jason said once there was a pause in the conversation and the opportunity arose.
"Oh," Kim said trying to appear nonchalant, "What did he say?"
"That he wanted to tear Kyle to pieces," Jason replied. "He wondered why you didn't tell him in the first place and said he wished he could have helped you through it."
"I'm sure he's glad now he stayed out of it," Kim commented wincing slightly at the memory of dropping that letter into the mailbox. "After all, who would want to deal with 'damaged goods?'" Kim added referring to one of the many things she had been called after that fiasco.
"That's not true, you know he still loves you." Jason whispered feeling his exhaustion catching up to him. Kim sighed.
"Jase, I know I made a mistake dumping him because of that jerk, I know that. But Tommy's moved on, he's gotten over me. He can't possibly love me now," Kim replied very softly.
"But he does, Kim. Trust me." Jason felt his strength fading. A few small rushes of pain were coming back and Jason desperately needed to rest but the need to fix things was stronger. "He's going to need you more than ever soon."
"Your being my big brother again, aren't you?" Kim smiled sadly through her grief.
"To the end." Jason managed. Kim felt her bottom lip quiver as tears flooded her eyes. Jason figured it was time to do something about this dilemma.
"Tommy!" Jason called using every once of strength he could muster. Kim was so surprised she couldn't make a sound.
Tommy practically came running into the room. When he heard Jason call his heart froze with fear, upon entering the room he realized that Jason wouldn't have had the strength to call out if something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Tommy asked unable to hide the worry from his voice. Jason nodded slowly.
"Come here, Tommy." Jason managed to get out. His voice had become extremely hoarse.
Tommy looked confused but went to Jason's bedside, on the opposite side as Kim. Jason found his voice was too weak to convey what he wanted to say. Very slowly, very weakly, Jason took Tommy's hand and placed it on top of Kim's, which rested next to his own, curling Tommy's fingers around Kim's hand. Jason smiled softly and let his eyes close slowly when he saw Tommy made no move to lift his hand. A few seconds later Jason had given in to the siren song of the dreamworld and fallen fast asleep.
Tommy looked from Jason's face, still holding the slightest hint of a smile on it, to Kim's face where tears shimmered on her cheeks. Tommy found he couldn't look away. With his other hand he gently wiped away her tears and let his hand stay on her cheek when she took her other hand and put it on top of his.
"Tommy I..." Kim began before a small sob escaped her lips.
Without realizing it Tommy had moved to the other side of Jason's bed. Suddenly Tommy found he was right beside his first love, though how he got there so quickly and unnoticeably as he had Tommy would never understand. Drawing the small women into his arms Tommy felt Kim shudder slightly as she wept.
"Shh. It's okay, Kim." Tommy managed though his voice was rough with emotion.
"I...I love y...you, Tommy..." Kim murmured. "I never stopped...I'm sorry...I just couldn't deal with everything and I was scared of what you'd think...I'm sorry...I know it was stupid but..."
Kim broke off, her shoulders shuddering slightly with silent sobs. Tommy hugged her close but didn't speak. He didn't trust his own voice not to break. Finally he managed to whisper a few words in an effort to comfort his distraught, former girlfriend.
"It's alright, Kim. It's alright," Tommy murmured softly not knowing what else to say.
"How can you say that? Nothing is alright anymore...Jason..." Kim stammered.
"Shh. I know, Beautiful. I know, I feel the same way," Tommy confessed. "I want, more than anything, for everything to be alright. I know it's not now but someday..." Tommy paused for a moment to compose himself, "someday it will be."
"Why Jason?" Kim whispered softly, looking up to search Tommy's eyes for an answer or some sort of reassurance.
Tommy exhaled softly and wondered how many times he had been asked or had asked that same question. It seemed to be repeating over and over, showing them the ugly truth without regret, "I wish I knew." Tommy whispered softly, "I wish I knew."
