I don't own these characters at all. They belong to there rightful owners, so don't sue me! I live in the desert!
Misao's Amnesia…
I begin the day by waking restlessly from my sleep and dressed in my usual clothing. I soon noticed the mirror on the wall across from me and walk over towards it. I look in the mirror to see nothing I like. What stares back at me is a very lonely man in his 20's that shows no emotions. A sigh escaped my lips as I cast my gaze away in disgust. I descended the stairs and entered the kitchen to notice the noises of everyone having breakfast in the dining room. I walked silently around not wanting to be noticed and as I looked into my cup of tea I was reminded of the term, 'Eyes are the pathway to someone's soul'. I looked deeper into the tea with my eyes and they showed nothing, just like in the mirror upstairs. Do I not have a soul? Has it truly died on me? My thoughts cut off sharply when I heard my name being murmured from the dining room. I soon slid the door open silently and listened to the conversation as the other members had begun to talk about me. Am I really dead? I silently asked myself, as that is what was stated seconds ago. I was about to make my presence known when I saw Misao rise and passionately defend me from their speculations.
"Stop it! Stop talking like he isn't real or that he doesn't have feelings. You don't know him and you certainly don't understand him! So stop this speculating. You all are so clueless! You may think he still acts like he was when he was 15, but he has changed. You've never been around him like I have so you don't know what he is going through. He may not show emotions like everyone here because he has not yet discovered them. I know deep inside he is hurting, afraid and alone. Maybe you don't understand what it is like to be hurting inside and dreading that you're going to be left alone forever, but I do! I'm not hungry anymore…"
I placed my hand over my heart and felt the beat was faster then normal from Misao passionately speaking to protect me from the others. I watched as she ran from the room and could hear her small footsteps bound upstairs heading towards her room. I watch Okon rise from her seated position to go after Misao but I made my presence known and placed my hand on her shoulder. She jumped at being surprised and all eyes were on me.
"Let her go." I spoke to her not taking any notice of the others.
I left the room and began thinking about the words I had spoken to Misao two weeks ago. I wished desperately to open up to her. She had been with me for two straight years once I finally came back to the Aoiya and she never left my side. I couldn't believe she had broken through my barriers and yet when I finally spoke to her it was not what I wanted to say. I spoke harshly towards her saying I didn't wish for her to be around me as she was a nuisance and that I just wanted to be left alone. I can still see those beautiful ocean-blue eyes that have not changed since she was a small girl, filled with sadness. Tears cascaded down her usually spirited and happy face. She had bowed her head in front of me hoping I didn't see them but it did shatter my heart and my throat closed on me so I couldn't say anything to take back those harsh words. I was reaching out to her but stopped as my eyes opened wide when a heartbroken sob escaped her moist lips. She staggered to her feet and ran from the room to get away from me and the harsh words I had spoken to her. She had not returned to the temple since that fateful day. Wherever I was, Misao wasn't. She'd occasionally make a presence at breakfast but it was rare just like this morning. I realised she had become just like me in these past weeks as she has shut herself off from everyone in the Aoiya. Those words she had spoken today were the first anyone had heard in a long time and it had been protecting me. As much as I hurt her deeply with those words she still wouldn't let anyone badmouth me.
I was now standing in front of Misao's closed door. I silently slid it open to see her sitting in the middle of the room. Her robe was open freely and spread on the floor around her. One of her bare creamy legs were up drawn and she soon placed her head on top of it while grabbing the end of her braid in one hand and swirling it around on the wooden floor. She was alone.
"Oh Aoshi…" I froze when I heard her call me by my true name and left the title out. Did she know I was here? I silently thought but then my heart sank when I saw Misao descend to the floor wrapping herself up in a tight ball and weeping brokenly to no one. My hands shock as I wished to reach out and hold her. To tell her everything I said was a lie. I wanted to comfort her and make her feel loved but all I did was close the door silently and left for the temple. The vision of Misao weeping brokenly was etched in my mind forever. Good! You didn't need her around anyway, one half of me said. That's not true though. You want to be free of guilt, and you wish to open up to her, the other half speaks as well. I shake my head to rid myself of them, as I truly have no idea what I want. I decide to spend the week at the temple to try and sort out what's happening inside of me.
* * * *
A week has past too quickly for me as I begin walking back to the Aoiya. To say I have come to a decision isn't true. 'He may not show emotions like everyone here because he has not yet discovered them, but I know deep inside he is hurting, afraid and alone.' Misao's words kept circling in my mind. What surprised me is that this whole week that one sentence has explained everything I am. Deep inside I am hurting, as I could not stop what happened to my comrades'. I am afraid that I'll never be able to let go and that no one will be able to forgive me for what has happened. Most of all I am afraid that I'll remain cold hearted. The truth is, I am alone. That is not true Aoshi. Misao has been here for you like no other. She wishes to take your pain away and help you feel loved once more, a familiar voice speaks to me. I stop my walking and close my eyes to remember…
I see Misao crying tears of joy that I have returned home. Misao coming to the temple to keep me company. That beautiful smile that lights up her eyes and her entire face, as she chats away happily about the day she had. Those innocent ocean-blue eyes showing concern and love for me. Her small giggles that float through the Aoiya or the temple like the breeze. Her perfume scent and comforting aura protect me from my darkness. The determination she placed in herself to become the new Okashira. Those eyes glistening with tears as she ran from the room heartbroken and crying because of what I had said to her.
I open my eyes and notice the city doctor, his assistant and some policemen close the front gate and walk away back down another path to the city. My walking had turned into a run as I drew closer to the Aoiya. Something was wrong and my heart clenched as I jumped the gate, to see blood on the ground and parts of the buildings in the Aoiya burnt from previous fires. I opened the front door and walked into the dining room.
I stood frozen at some of the members sitting inside. Shiro had a broken arm and some bruising, while Kuro had a few bandages wrapped around his arms. I starred around the room for an explanation and Okina soon spoke up.
"There was an ambush, so many bandits."
"Why was I not told about this?" I spoke sternly looking around the main room. I soon noticed Okon rising slowly with an angry, yet determined look on her face.
"Oh give it a rest Aoshi-san! Do you actually think we knew about this! Misao-chan only told us minute's before they actually arrived. She has become just like you, not showing emotions, not talking to anyone anymore. I mean we could have all been killed! You are to blame for what has happened to Misao, she was extremely upset. What you have done to her is wrong and you know it!"
"Was?" I said in a small voice. Had she been fatally injured? I felt sickened at the thought.
"She's been badly injured A-" I heard no more as I raced out of the room and ran up the stairs to Misao's room. I threw the door open to see her asleep in her bed. I walked closely towards her and realised she had many injuries. I sank to the floor and observed how badly injured she truly was. She was wearing a loose yukata and I could see bandages covering her wounds on her hands. She had a bandage around her neck and right shoulder as her yukata gapped open from her slight movements she had made before. Bruises were all over her body. My eyes followed from her feet to her face and I felt a tear escape my eye and trail down my cheek when I noticed two large bruises on her beautiful face. One was covering her left cheek close to her lips while the other was more swollen and created a bump on her forehead.
"We had a number of bandits Aoshi." I turned around to hear Okina's voice speaking quietly. He entered the room and stood behind me talking about the events that occurred.
"She's been unconscious for a couple of days now. There were so many going after her. They had said they came for you. She fought bravely; making sure none would ever find you. They beat her up pretty bad, but she never quit. They stabbed her with her own kunai's. They went straight through her shoulder and both her hands. She fell unconscious soon afterwards. She had lost so much blood that the doctor was amazed she hadn't died. The doctor said she would recover, but he wasn't sure if she was going to remember any of the fighting or any of us. He said it took her great courage to stay alive. He seems to think that she received her strength from all her inner emotions that she felt for someone. It must have been you Aoshi! You must help bring her back to us! Please Aoshi!"
I heard the desperation in Okina voice at not wanting Misao to die. I nodded my head silently and soon heard the door close. I turned around and noticed I was the only one in the room with Misao. I closed my eyes silently praying to the gods to let Misao return safely.
* * * *
Days past and still nothing happened. The doctor had returned and feared that Misao didn't want to awaken from her sleep. I refused to believe that but was still at a total loss of what to do. I occasionally ate but I never left Misao's room unless it was to shower. I wanted to be there when she woke up. I finally realised that our roles in life have been changed. Now I knew how Misao felt when she couldn't help me find my peace or bring me back to her and the others. Okina had entered after the doctor left stating that Misao should hear the voices of the people that love her and maybe she'll come back.
Hours past as I had left the room for everyone to speak to Misao and sat in the back garden. "People that love her" What about me though? Do I love her? Of course you do Aoshi! You just need to figure out if it is like a father, brother or just Aoshi. I snapped my eyes open when I heard that voice again. I turned around to see who was standing behind me, as that is where it came from. I found no one. I blinked a few more times and soon stood up when I heard the back door open and Okina walked out.
"The others and I have to go into the city to the policestation Aoshi. Please protect and watch over Misao for us." The sun was hot and Okina looked ready to kill over in the heat. I walked to him and steadied him with placing my hand on his shoulder making sure he wasn't going to fall over. I silently nodded at his request.
* * * *
The sun had set and the other members' of the Aoiya decided to leave now, as the night was cooler then the day. I closed the front door when I saw them walking in the direction of the city. I was only wearing a pair of loose pants, as the Aoiya was quite warm inside. I walked back to Misao's room and noticed her hair covered her usually pale face. I brushed them away noticing they were quite damp. I grabbed a cloth and wiped the sweat off of Misao's face.
"Are you ever going to come back Misao?" I was surprised how much emotion I had in my voice. This was the first step at letting them come out. It was weird though as I couldn't show anyone until someone I deeply cared about had been injured. That means you do love her Aoshi, now figure out how you love her. I breathed in deeply and placed Misao's hand to my heart hopefully giving her strength to come back to us, to me. Look inside you Aoshi, do you want a life without her? The voice had asked me. I lay down next to Misao, with her hand still pressed to my heart and closed my eyes to think. I traced my life of when I was a young boy and Misao just a genki little girl. We shared many private moments together and I placed them in my heart forever. That little girl with her smile, laugh and those eyes had turned into a beautiful 18-year-old woman who looked after me. She wanted me to come back, to be Aoshi again. I wasn't sure how to though. Even though she has grown up just like the others, her spirit, smile, eyes and her laugh are still the same, as she was when she was six. My little Misao-chan had turned into a grown woman and I wasn't even there to see it happen. I opened my eyes and frowned at how much I must have hurt her when I left and took the others with me. Those eyes would have glistened with tears, as she would have cried herself to sleep for many years. When I came back I cut myself off from her and everyone else and she still cried. Cried because I am a heartless bastard! You know she would never think anything like that of you. She knows you are hurting Aoshi, you said it before. What I want to know is can you live with yourself if you hurt her anymore?
"No…" I had spoken out loud. I looked over at Misao as her head was turned towards mine and I bent my head closer and brushed my lips over her forehead.
"I'm so sorry for hurting you Misao, so sorry." Moments later I could hear the thunder rolling in the sky as the weather finally changed. Storm clouds built up quickly outside flashing with lightning. The soft pitter-patter of the rain started falling on the roof. It grew heavier and I soon closed my eyes and fell into darkness, the sound of the rain taking me away.
-----BEGIN DREAM-----
I stood in front of the closed back door. I reached my hand out and slid it open to find the yard glistening wet from the rain that fell softly to the ground. As I descended the stairs the rain cleared up and the moon shone brightly as though waiting for me. I stopped dead in my walking as I looked at the vision in front of me. Misao's body was bathed in moonlight as she sat kneeling in the grass her bare back glistening from the rain facing me.
"Misao?" I called softly to her and began walking closer. I smiled inwardly as she was awake and ready to come home. I thanked all the gods for giving her back to me. I stopped just a few feet behind her as she silently stood up. My eyes widen the slightest as I could see her small pert bottom. She turned to face me and her long wet blue-black hair cascaded freely down the front of her hiding the rest of her nakedness. I stood speechless at the sight of her. She was exquisite. My hand reached out for her on its own accord but she stepped backwards away from me. Every small step I took forward she seemed to double back quickly.
"What is wrong Misao?" I had asked her with concern etched in my voice. Her behaviour was most strange.
"Why do you wish to hurt me so much? I came to you with all the love I had to offer and you showed nothing in return. Do I mean that little to you Aoshi? I forgave you for leaving all those years ago and for what happened to Hannya and the others. I wished deeply for you to love me back but you don't. I wasn't able to help fight away your guilt so I must truly be a nuisance like you said. I have nothing to come back to, so I won't return to the Aoiya."
Misao's mouth wasn't moving at all. It was as though I could hear all her inner thoughts. She still backed away from me and suddenly her body rose off the ground floating away from me, as though the wind had picked it up like the fallen leaves from trees. 'I have nothing to come back to, so I won't return to the Aoiya.' My eyes blurred as I realised if I didn't do something fast I was going to loose Misao forever. I began running with full force towards her but she kept lifting higher and higher into the sky as if making her trip up to the heavens. I fell to me knees looking up at Misao and yelled my final last plea for this madness to stop.
"MISAO PLEASE! I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"
-----END DREAM-----
I jolted awake from the dream and fisted my hands as they began to shake. I soon placed my head in them and closed my eyes breathing deeply to calm my ragging heart. I finally snapped my eyes open and looked over to where Misao was sleeping. My heart stopped when I found she wasn't there. It was only a dream, right? I questioned myself. I touched the bedding where she used to lay and it was still warm to the touch. I quickly rose and ran downstairs to the back door. I yanked it open and jumped down to the ground missing the steps completely. I ran towards the garden and soon stopped when I saw Misao standing in the long grass, wearing just her dark blue yukata and her hair freely blowing in the cool breeze. I walked towards her and placed my hand on her shoulder to make sure she was real this time. She didn't tense as though she knew it was I, but she didn't turn around either.
"Misao are you alright?" I had asked her softly. I received no answer from her and walked to stand in front of her. Her head was bowed and I soon lifted her face and looked into her blue eyes. My eyes widened the slightest as Misao's were glazed over as though she was still fighting inside herself. She hadn't even registered I was standing in front of her either. I wanted to bring her back but didn't know what to do. I placed one of my hands on her uninjured cheek and I watched as her eyes flickered around trying to find out who I was. In an even braver move I pulled Misao closer to me and wrapped her up in my embrace. I had not hugged her like this since she was a child and I a teenager. I prayed to the gods that Misao would finally realise that it was I, "her" Aoshi-sama. Hope surged through my entire body as Misao wrapped her arms around my waist.
"Aoshi-sama…" Was all she had said to me and then fell limply in my embrace. She didn't not fall to the garden bed, as I held her tightly to me. I soon lifted her into my arms and carried her back into the house.
* * * *
It had been two days since that night and Okina and the others returned. I told them of the good news that Misao was back. Everyone was so full of joy and we sent a letter to the doctor but he wasn't able to come and check on Misao for at least another few days. Then the worst happened. Misao woke up one morning not knowing who we were. We spoke to the doctor again telling him that she seemed to have lost her memory, even though the other day she had recognised who I was. The doctor thought this odd but he indicated that he had seen this happen before. Victims tend to lock away their memories and are unable to fight the barrier until they are ready too. He had stated the most positive thing to do for her was help her remember.
* * * *
Days had past and still Misao didn't show any signs of remembering us, the fighting, or even her memories of her parents. I was sitting in the back garden going over the last few weeks in my head. If I hadn't been such an asshole, maybe she would have told someone about the ambush. I breathed in deeply closing my eyes off to the world. If this never happened Aoshi, you'd still be trying to discover what you really felt for Misao. What has occurred, although terrible, has made you realise how much she means to you. You love her, plain and simple. The voice had spoken to me. Was it really that simple though? Could I actually just blurt out how I've been feeling for years now and just make up for lost time? I opened my eyes and saw Misao standing in her sleeping yukata with my black shirt wrapped over her as well just silently staring at me.
"Hello Aoshi." Hearing Misao call me Aoshi was strange, yet I liked it. She never called me that but this wasn't the real Misao we all knew. Misao would call me Aoshi-sama no matter what.
"What's wrong?" Her voice was calm and still and didn't hold any of the spirit my Misao had. Her small hand made contact with mine and snapped me out of my thoughts.
"It's strange hearing you call me Aoshi that's all." I said truthfully to her. I soon took my hand away from hers and placed it back in my lap. I wanted to see that beautiful smile, or hear her small giggles and to see those eyes shining brightly, but none of that came. What sat next to me was a Misao who was exactly like me. Holding nothing, showing nothing.
"Why?" She replied back to me.
"You always called me Aoshi-sama." Answering her and secretly hoping she'd remember that.
"Why did I do that?" I slouched when she had said this to me. Obviously her memories were securely locked away.
"I don't know. When you were little, you looked up to me with pride and joy. You always wanted to be just like me. I guess now you are." I had said the last part to myself and silently rose to my feet and walked back into the building leaving that Misao behind.
* * * *
Months passed and I was beginning to loose hope on Misao ever recovering. I sat in the training hall watching Shiro practicing. I had finished my practice earlier but decided to stay in here. Sweat still poured down my body and I took off my shirt, placed it near my trench coat and sat at the back door's entrance to fill the breeze blowing through the air. I was really trying to keep my mind off of Misao. She was back but was figuring out who we all were again. She wasn't my Misao. Your Misao? Said the voice again.
"Shut up!" I spoke softly to myself.
"Aoshi-sama are you alright?" I turned around to see Shiro looking at me concerned. I nodded silently and turned back around to look out the door. I reached for the pouch that was tucked in my trench coat and undid the sash. I held up one of the kunais' as it glittered in the sunshine.
"Hey Misao-chan, how you going?" I placed the kunai back into the pouch and hid them back in my trench coat when Shiro spoke to Misao.
"What is that?" I turned around and saw she was wearing a blue kimono, which Okon and Omasu had placed her in. She was pointing to the bokken Shiro was holding in his hands.
"Oh this is just a practice sword Misao. You see Aoshi has two real ones, they are called kodachi's"
"Did I use anything Shiro?"
"NO!" I spoke up while standing to collect my things. I glanced at Shiro and silently told him not to say a word with my intense gaze.
"You don't use anything." And at that I walked out the door.
* * * *
Okon had called everyone to dinner and I sat opposite Misao while Okon and Omasu passed around the dishes. That's when Misao spoke up and finally remembered something, but not what we thought.
"Where is Hannya and the others?" Once I heard this my cup slipped from my hands and smashed on the table spilling tea everywhere. The whole room fell silent as all the other members either looked at Misao or myself.
"Are they not joining us for dinner?" She looked at me with her blank eyes and I silently rose from the table and walked out the room.
* * * *
The weather had changed dramatically and it had begun to snow lightly outside. I had been in the bathhouse for about half an hour already. I sat in the hot water soaking the tension out of my muscles. I closed my eyes and traced back to what Misao had spoken before all this chaos happened. "Stop it! Stop talking like he isn't real or that he doesn't have feelings. You don't know him and you certainly don't understand him! So stop this speculating. You all are so clueless! You may think he still acts like he was when he was 15, but he has changed. You've never been around him like I have so you don't know what he is going through. He may not show emotions like everyone here because he has not yet discovered them. I know deep inside he is hurting, afraid and alone. Maybe you don't understand what it is like to be hurting inside and dreading that you're going to be left alone forever, but I do! I'm not hungry anymore…" I smiled when I remembered all the times Misao defended me from the others without knowing that I had either been in the next room or just around the corner. She didn't even care if they were her loved ones either. She would protect me no matter what. No one liked her tears and yet everyone was in awe about how passionate she would talk. I miss that. No you miss her entirely and you feel empty inside for not having her back. The voice had spoken again.
"Yes…" I spoke out loud.
"Yes what?" I startled at the voice as I was so deep in thought that I hadn't notice anyone walk into the bathhouse. I watched this Misao approach me and soak a cloth in the bath and then reach out to wash my chest. I grabbed her wrist stopping her.
"What are you doing here?" I spoke forceful towards her.
"I was talking to Okon and Omasu about you and they had stated that I have been infatuated with you for a long time. I came to help you when I saw you enter the bathhouse."
I began to seethe. It was so typical of Okon and Omasu to do something like that. I couldn't take this anymore and snapped at her while giving her my most icy gaze.
"I don't need your help. The real Misao wouldn't do something like this!" I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist modestly. I began walking towards my clothing, but soon heard a weak voice come from behind me.
"A-Aoshi-sama…" I turned abruptly around when I heard the "sama". I looked into those bright blue eyes and realised that my Misao was back. My rejecting her once more had snapped her back to being herself. I slowly walked back to Misao forgetting about my clothes.
"Misao…" I was now standing in front of her. She blushed prettily as she noticed the state of my dress and bowed her head trying to hide it. My fingers came up closer to her face and brushed the skin near her eyes so I could see them again. Her head lifted up and her eyes gazed into mine. That beautiful smile was now on her face and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. She soon wrapped her arms around my waist and sobbed into my chest.
"I have missed you so much Aoshi-sama." She missed me even though I had been such a bastard to her. I returned her embrace tightly and placed my head on top of hers. Her cries had ceased and I felt her light touch on my chest. I loosened my embrace and saw her kiss my scarred chest where my heart lay underneath and spoke softly to me.
"I'm sorry for being a nuisance." My heart beat faster at her sweet gesture and I soon wrapped my arms around her.
"No Misao, its my fault. You are not a nuisance, never!" She returned my embrace not saying anything at all.
"Thank you for coming back Misao." I whispered into her ear. I had received no reply from her and realised her eyes were closed and she was fast asleep in my embrace. The fight Misao had inside herself had exhausted her entire body. I placed her on the floor for a few seconds so I could dress and then picked her up and carried her back to her room.
"Are you going to tell me what happened Aoshi-sama?" I looked down to see Misao's tired eyes looking into mine.
"Tomorrow Misao. Now get some rest." She nodded silently and then placed her head back against my chest and sighed contentedly. We arrived at Misao's room and I opened the door silently and padded into her room towards her bed. Misao's clothes were slightly damp from the snow that had fallen on her so I began to undress her. I could now see all of her body and a few old scars she received when she was smaller as she was only wearing underwear under her yukata. I quickly dressed her in my black shirt that was lying on the floor near the bed and placed her under the blankets. I brushed her cheek lightly with one of my fingers. Sleep well Misao. She soon smiled as though she had heard my inner thoughts and rolled onto her stomach.
"Aoshi-sama…" She had spoken my name in her sleep. I smirked at how adorable she looked right at this moment. A small smile tugged at her lips. Such innocence I thought. I rose silently and then left the room without waking Misao from her peaceful slumber.
* * * *
The sun was beginning to rise above the horizon as I looked out the back doors of the training hall. I had stayed here the night, as I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about what Misao used to do before all of this happened. I didn't know if she would come to the temple with me to keep me company or bring me tea. I didn't even know if I was ever going to be Aoshi again. You know you don't want to have all that guilt anymore Aoshi, let them go. I closed my eyes nodding slightly and took a few deep breaths; it was then that I felt her comforting aura surround me. Her lovely perfume scent flowed towards me like the breeze.
"Aoshi-sama?" I turned when I heard Misao's voice. She was standing a few metres away and I breathed in a rugged breath, as she hadn't dressed for the day. She was wearing my black shirt, which fell over her body loosely and her long pale legs glistened in the sunshine. Misao was hugging her tense body as if asking permission to be in the training hall when I was.
"What are you doing up so early Misao?" I had asked her. Her mouth gapped open slightly but nothing came out. I guess she was a bit shocked I was actually talking to her.
"I-I…" I smiled at the scene she made. For once in Misao's life she was struck speechless and by me of all people. I soon noticed her eyes glistened with tears and she sank to the floor below her, mumbling something that I couldn't hear. I rose from my seated position and walked towards her and soon sat down in front of her. I placed my hand under her chin to lift her face so that her eyes were level with mine and I began to speak.
"Misao what's wrong?" Her lip trembled and tears spilled out of her eyes. Seconds later a laugh bubbled up in her throat as she threw her arms around my shoulders and then seconds later she cried into my chest. I rubbed her back trying to soothe her and even though her voice was muffled slightly by my shirt I still understood what she said.
"Aoshi-sama you smiled." So that's why she was crying, I silently thought.
"Misao you better go tell everyone your back and don't worry I'll see you later on." I knew Misao was going to ask me to come with her but I needed the next few hours to truly think about my feelings, just to make sure. She nodded and rose silently and left the hall.
* * * *
The night came quickly and I rose from my seated position in the training hall. I hadn't seen Misao for the entire day. Rain had been falling for the past couple of hours and I opened the front door of the Aoiya and walked into the dining room to see everyone eating. I looked around to notice Misao was not there. I looked to Okina and he raised his chopsticks pointing upstairs. I left and went to Misao's room but found the door open but she wasn't inside. I walked down the hall a little further to my room and opened the door to see the sweetest sight. Candles flickered in the room so it was bathed in light. Misao was leaning against the wall fast asleep and wrapped in my trench coat. I approached her quietly and laid her down on my bed and placed the blanket over her. The day's events must have worn her out completely as she didn't stir once. I brushed my fingers along her cheek and she soon winced a bit, as it must still hurt a little. I lay down on my side watching her with my head being pillowed by one of my arms. My eyes began to close as I was being sent into a peaceful slumber by the sound of the rain continuing to fall outside.
* * * *
The gentleness of fingers running over my forehead brushing away my bangs awoke me from my slumber. I opened my eyes and they soon focused on a pair of ocean-blue ones looking back at me.
"No nightmares." I had said out loud accidentally. I knew Misao heard me as her eyes frowned in concern and confusion. My nightmares had disappeared ever since I discovered my true feelings. Maybe it was time to speak to the one person I wanted to open up to. I brushed my fingertips over her uninjured cheek and looked into her wide eyes and smiled at her.
"Thank you Misao."
"What for Aoshi-sa-" I had placed my fingers over her lips stopping her from finishing off the honorific. A light blush tainted her cheeks and I sat up, with her soon following.
"Stop calling me that Misao. I am not your leader or your superior." She nodded her head and I took a deep breath to speak again but she had beaten me too it while getting up and walking to the mirror across the room.
"I had asked the others what happened to me Aoshi-sa…Ah Aoshi. They told me everything from my little outburst protecting you, to me crying all the time and me shutting myself off from everyone and the ambush. Okon and Omasu laughed when they told me they actually got me in a kimono. They said everyone came in to individually talk to me to try and bring me back. Okon and Omasu would come in telling me about you. Shiro and Kuro would talk to me about all the pranks I pulled or tried to and they told me their memories of how I was when I was a little genki ninja girl. Okina said he often talked to me about my parents trying to see if I could remember anything or even wake up. What about you Aoshi, what do you talk to me about?"
"Nothing…" I spoke in a quiet voice.
"Why?" Her voice was weak as she turned around and sat down in front of me.
"Its difficult Misao, you wouldn't understand." I stood up walking to look in the mirror like she had moments ago.
"Why are you being like this Aoshi? One minute you're happy I'm back and embracing me lovingly and then you're all cold again. Why are you doing this to me?" I turned around to face her and saw Misao place her hands over her face. My heart constricted in my chest and my emotions were ready to become known.
"Misao when you look at me, what do you see?" Her head jerked up as her eyes searched mine.
"What?" I turned to face the mirror again and soon spoke.
"I remember looking in this mirror all those months ago before you were hurt. I looked in and found nothing I liked. What I saw was Aoshi, a cold-blooded killer who wanted to be alone. I went down the stairs that morning to find that the others were talking about me. They said I was dead, maybe they were right though. I went to the temple to figure out what was happening inside of me and then I came back, and the Aoiya had been attacked, you had been attacked. I was outraged that I didn't know. Okon was right, it was my fault. If I hadn't of been so cold, maybe you wouldn't have been hurt and that's the same for Shiro, Kuro and the others." I looked in the reflection of the mirror to see Misao looking at me with those intense eyes waiting for me to continue, so I did.
"I saw what happened to you and…I cried. I was so angry with myself for not being there and protecting you like I promised all those years ago. You looked so dead; it made me feel dead. I couldn't hear your giggles, or your voice, see those eyes or that smile. When you came back I was so happy but then you weren't you because you acted differently. It wasn't until that time in the bathhouse where I hurt your feelings yet again, but you came back." I saw Misao blush at the mention of the bathhouse.
"Misao what are you doing here? Why are you trying to look after me?" I spoke softly to her.
"How can you ask me that Aoshi-sama!" I rolled my eyes as she reverted back to the honorific. I turned around to see her standing up looking at me determination flashing through her eyes.
"Misao I'm a 28 year old man who is alone. You're an 18-year-old woman who should be happily married with a child on the way. Why are you here?" I soon felt a hard slap on my right cheek from Misao's hand. Her eyes glistened with tears.
"I can't believe you are being like this Aoshi-sama. Here I was thinking that something was actually changing between us. How can any of you people, especially you Aoshi-sama, think that I would just up and leave this place and marry some complete stranger. I belong here and with the other members. They are my family, my loved ones. How can you think I'd be happily married and away from here?" I was struck speechless at the slap I received from Misao but I knew I deserved it.
"It is the right thing to do Misao." I spoke softly to her once I gained back my thoughts.
"What is so wrong with wishing. What is so wrong about wanting to feel loved and to be loved back Aoshi-sama! What is so wrong about wanting and waiting for what is standing right in front of me!" Misao was practically yelling at the top of her lungs. I knew the others had heard what she had just confessed. She wants to be with you Aoshi. You just heard what she wished for. The voice had said to me. I opened my mouth to speak once more.
"Misao listen…" Misao speaking passionately again soon cut me off.
"No you listen to me Aoshi-sama. I am not a little girl anymore. I have feelings and I know what love is! I love you Aoshi, plain and simple!" She was standing in front of me and I was in a daze at what she said. See Aoshi plain and simple…
"Makimachi-sama?" I finally recognised the voice. It was Misao's father speaking to me all this time.
"Aoshi? Are you alright?" I snapped out of it as Misao had placed one of her small hands on my cheek. She was staring at me with concern in her eyes as she had completely forgotten about confessing her love to me. I starred at her for a few seconds as 'plain and simple' kept running around in my mind. All of a sudden I wrapped her in an urgent hug which I needed.
"I'm sorry for hurting you all this time Misao."
"Ow, stop Aoshi." I quickly let go to see her blushing and holding her right shoulder with her left hand.
"Still hurts a bit." She smiled up at me. I brushed her hand away and opened my black shirt she was wearing a bit to have a look. She had dropped the trench coat on the ground long ago. Her shoulder was now bare for me to see and I brushed my fingers over her scar. She shivered and pulled away from my touch, hugging herself. I was slightly hurt and I gazed at Misao wanting an answer of why she did that.
"They're ugly Aoshi, I don't want you to see them."
"But I have." I blurted out without thinking at all. I soon heard a rugged sob escape from Misao's throat.
"No one will ever like me again, especially you Aoshi-sama." Her small voice ripped at my soul telling me to tell her how I felt. The 'sama' part just proved she was now becoming vulnerable and frightened. I took off my shirt and stood in only my pants in front of Misao. I watched Misao's eyes widened the slightest but to my amazement her face didn't turn red, as she was controlling herself very well.
"What about me Misao? If you think that no one will like you because of three scars and ones you have had when you were a child, what possible chance could I have…" I broke off bowing my head to look down at the infinite amount of scars etched into my skin forever.
"I'm sorry Aoshi. I'm being so selfish. I feel guilty for failing you, I ju-"
"STOP MISAO! Why do you say that? You could never fail me. You protected me from everyone's speculations and you protected me from those bandits. I have done nothing but hurt you, and I am deeply sorry. I just wish you could forgive me." I was standing right in front of her. I knew my eyes glistened with tears of pain from all those years of holding everything back. Her small hand claimed one of my cheeks and I grabbed it and placed a kiss on her scar, both sides as the kunai had gone straight through. Misao's eyes glistened happily and I soon proceeded to kiss her other hand. Her moist lips parted once I looked into her eyes as she wished to speak but nothing came out. I soon bent my head down and parted the shirt away from her shoulder to kiss the wound there. I placed my cold lips on the scar and Misao tensed for a few seconds but wrapped her arms around my shoulders to hold me close. Her rugged hot breathing cascaded down my bare chest. I soon moved my hand over both her shoulders to drop the shirt on the floor. Misao let me do this but as soon as the shirt was free from her body her arms wrapped around her breasts to hide them from my view. She was now only clad in her underwear. I wrapped my arms loosely around her and bent my head closer to hers. I kept eye contact with her the whole time and watched as her blue eyes closed waiting for me to kiss her. Once our lips met in a passionate kiss Misao's arms snaked around my neck to hold me closer as I now could feel her bare breasts pressed firmly against my chest.
* * * *
I sat lying naked under my blanket in my bed watching Misao, who was curled up on her side facing me. She had the most contented smile tugging her lips. She had fallen asleep a few hours ago but I stayed up to watch her. She had said my name a few times in her sleep and sighed contently. I brushed my fingers over he cheek and placed my lips on hers to wake her from her slumber. I smirked as she moaned and I knew she was about to return my kiss when I pulled away and rested my head on an arm looking down at her. Her blue eyes fluttered open to search mine. She smiled brightly at me and wrapped an arm around my waist and buried her head into my chest.
"Misao, do you talk in your sleep often?" I asked her curiously.
"What did I say?"
"Oh you just said my name a few times, not just last night but when you finally came back too."
"How did I say it?"
"Normal I guess, you just sighed afterwards as if you knew I was beside you." I watched as she nodded and turned onto her back once more. I thought came to my mind and I just had to ask her.
"What OTHER way do you say my name Misao?" Now I was extremely intrigued. I watched her cheeks turn a nice shade of red and she placed her hands over her face to try and cover it up.
"Why Misao you shock me." I teased her even more while silently laughing to myself.
"Do you hate me now?" I brushed her hands away from her face, which had turned back to its normal colour and saw those eyes show fear as if I was disgusted with what she thought. Did she think I was that much of a prune that I wouldn't think on those terms myself? I pressed my lips to hers to muffle her slight squeal as I pressed my body on top of hers once more. She didn't complain as her hands wrapped around my neck so her fingers could play with my dark tresses.
* * * *
Hour's later Misao and I finally emerged from the room to sit in the garden. We had been quiet for a few minutes when I finally spoke.
"Misao, will you come to your fathers grave with me?"
"What for Aoshi?" Misao replied curiously.
"I need to thank him for giving me you. He finally made me realise something."
"I don't understand, realise what Aoshi?" Misao was sitting a few feet away from me and I crawled towards her on my hands and knees and placed my lips close to her while looking into her eyes.
"I love you my Misao." And with that I pressed my lips to hers softly and captured her gasp. Her arms soon wrapped around my neck as she kissed me back passionately. I soon separated to gain my breath and saw that Misao's eyes glistened with happiness. She soon wrapped her arms around my shoulders and spoke softly into my ear to reassure me once more.
"I'll never leave you Aoshi. You will never be alone again." I silently nodded my head and held her tightly to me. I lifted my head to the sky and smiled brightly to silently thank Lord Makimachi for showing me where my true happiness lay.
THE END!
