Disclaimer: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. Here they are standing in a row! Big ones, small ones, ones as big as your head, give 'em a twist a flick of the wrist... Aw shit. Out of time to kissass to big corporations. Well shit.

The only thing that surprises me is nobody ever seemed to realize this before. It's funny what happens when you're walking in the rain with a t-shirt and shorts. This is a filler for everybody that is still waiting for scream 6. Which does trudge along. If I wasn't in college, it'd be done but, hey, midterms are coming up.

Btw, tommorow I'll write my first non-utena fic! It's dbz though, as so many have done before... but I'm basically seeing if I can write a horrible story deliberatly.

A short on Utena's shorts.
By Kagato23, known to the F.B.I. as Richard Gallivan
Kagato23@yahoo.com

"G-g-g-g-geez... How many times is this gonna happen?" Utena squeezed out between the times when her teeth clattered together.

Juri blinked. "Is something wrong?" She asked in her patented "I'm a popular lesbian anime character with cool hair to boot and that means I don't have to pretend I care" © tone.

"G-ee, you th-th-ink-k?" Utena tried to growl. "I fr-eeeeeeeeezing my asssss off! Th-h-ats what's wrong!"

Anthy shook her head. "Poor Utena-sama! she'll catch a cold!"

Up on the balcony, Touga cocked an eyebrow. "That can't be comfortable."

Miki screamed at this point. "My stopwatch! It's waterlogged! Nooooo!"

Touga shrugged. "Well, why did you bring it out here?"

Meanwhile, back in the arena, Juri cocked an eyebrow. "That would likely be attributed to the fact that it's 45 degrees out easily, raining profusely, with a strong wind that's making it even worse. Yet the one key principle fact here is despite all this, your wearing shorts!"

Utena looked down. "I am, aren't I?"

Anthy tapped herself on the head. "Oh my. should I have conjured up Utena some pants on the way up? Or a nice raincoat perhaps? Hmm... well, she didn't say to change anything, so I guess it's her wish! And I must obey... obey... obey..." unfortunately, her circuits began to overload at this point, and she fell silent, occasionally shooting off sparks of electricity."

Touga pressed his eyes closer into the viewing glasses. "I knew it! She is a robot! God, this explains so much!"

Miki thought for a second. "Wait a minute, no it doesn't! I can think of 3 reasons that-"

"Quiet! This story isn't that long!"

"Oh right, sorry."

Juri threw up her hands. "I mean god! I knew you were idealistic, but I didn't know you were downright stupid! I mean, it's fucking cold out there, and your just here, wearing those tight red shorts that show off your taut a-hehehehehehheheheh... Well, you get what I'm saying!" A hint of red flashed across her checks. "Anyway, I forfeit."

"You w-w-w-whatt-t-t-tt?" Utena actually was trying to drawl it out that time.

"I can't do it. It'd be like fighting a child, or a mentally handicapped person, so, I'll challenge you next time that idiot author (Screw you Juri! No wait, I'd love too. God I'm sick) writes something. It'll happen."

Utena blinked. Then she jumped into the air "Yeeesssss! I rule! Brrrrrr!"

Anthy squealed in alarm. "Utena-sama! Let me warm you!" With that, she Wakaba Glomped(c) Utena and proceeded to vigorously grind herself against her champion.

Juri's face went even redder. "Okay, I'm regretting giving up that right now..."

Touga, (whom for his sake the girls couldn't hear) was busy hooting. Miki, meanwhile, was beginning to turn red, his own viewing glasses focused on Juri. "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say Juri was a lesbian."

All action stopped. "OKAY!" Touga shouted. "Everybody up here! It's time to smack Miki in the head!"

And so they did, leaving a piss poor ending. The end.