Title: The Trouble
With Kidnappers (2/?)
Author: Kira
[tenshidejiko@yahoo.com]
See part one for
notes and disclaimers
It was the scariest
book Josh had ever heard of, and, because of his assistant, had heard the
contents of. The Republicans: A History was the kind of book that
publishers should turn away from their doors right away, who cares if 43% of
Americans claim to be one type of Republican or another. It just should not
have been written. Though, Josh thought, some of those 43% say they're independent
Republican, so they can be swayed from the dark side. Hmmm…
"Are you enjoying
this reading, Mr. Lyman?" his torturer, a 20-something woman named Rochelle,
inquired of him, placing the book down on her lap.
"Umm, no, why?" Josh
said, but it came out like this instead: "umm, mh, uh?"
"You were smiling,"
she answered. Damn! Josh thought, she caught me not paying attention. He must
have smiled unconsciously while thinking of a plan to convert independent
Republicans.
"Oh."
"Shall I continue,
or are you ready to tell us what we want?" Wait, they wanted something? All he
had to do was tell them what they wanted and he could leave? Why didn't they
say that in the first place!?
"Ohkh!"
"Really?" Rochelle
asked. Josh nodded. Only too happily, the captor tore the tape from over Josh's
mouth, causing him to yelp.
"Ow!"
"Sorry, but it was
necessary."
"Not really, but
okay."
"We want to know – "
The rest of Rochelle's sentence was cut off as the wall exploded, the result of
a large wrecking ball crashing through it. Cursing, the woman left Josh to fend
for himself as the building fell down around them.
"I paid my rent,
what the hell is going on?" she muttered, marching up to the men standing just
outside the now large hole that used to be a wall. "What the hell is going
on!?"
"Are you aware that
this is a corner?" one man asked of her. She nodded. "Hey!" he shouted to the
operator. "This is a corner. Take it down!"
"Umm, excuse me, but
this is my abandoned warehouse." Rochelle announced, pointing to the now
half-dilapidated building.
"Not anymore!" the
man exclaimed, letting out a bit of evil laughter. "This property has been
bought by Walgreen's!"
"What, are you
taking over the world or something?" Rochelle asked. The minuet those words
left her mouth, a bag was put over her head and she was dragged away.
Meanwhile, inside
the warehouse, Josh sat, still tied to a chair, wondering what they wanted to
know. Surly he'd get out of this place unscathed, right? The author wouldn't
allow him to get harmed. Seeing a copy of the fic on the floor, Josh craned his
head to the right to see the name of the author.
Kira? Oh damn. She
was the Josh POV angst author, wasn't she?
His day was not
going good.
Of course, that was
the last thing he thought before a piece of ceiling fell on him, knocking him
unconscious.
**
"You know what?"
Kira asked out of the blue while the group was sitting down for lunch. The
girls turned to her as they sat in the White House Mess Hall, all four of them
huddled around a singular square table. The other assistants whom were employed
by the White House sat at the next table over, each of them trying to make it
look like they weren't trying to spy on the collective bunch.
"Hmm?" Donna hummed
as she pulled her fork out of her mouth.
"They're watching
us," she replied, pointing to the group with her chopsticks.
"Yeah, and its kinda
freaky," Amber spoke up.
"Maybe we should,
well, do something about it," Toni suggested.
"Wonderful
suggestion," Donna quipped. Instead of receiving glares, the assistant just got
smiles. They knew where her sarcasm came from – Josh – and held a degree of it
themselves.
"Maybe we could call
them over," Amber said. Donna shook her head.
"No, they like
spying on people and talking about what they heard later," she told them.
"How do you put up
with it?" Toni inquired.
"I send emails about
the food – its great to start rumors and see where they go."
"Really? Was that
you the one time when the email went down?"
"No, but that's what
gave me the idea," Donna admitted.
"We need a trap,"
Kira stated out of the blue. Three pairs of eyes landed on her. "We need some
way to trap these kidnappers, or at least one of them to get information."
"And how do we do
that?" Donna asked. Kira closed her notebook and stood up.
"I'll meet you at
HQ," she smiled. Amber nodded knowingly and continued the conversation as she
walked off.
"So, what's your
opinion on obsession?"
**
"Joshua?" Josh
opened his eyes to be blinded by an intense white light. A momentary fear
gripped him as he thought he was dead. Was he? Would the author allow him to
die?
"Hey, skipper,
what's up?"
"What the hell is it
with people calling me that!" Josh cried, sitting upright. What was around him
scarred him almost to death (again). It was pink – more like a lighter red,
filled with feminist posters and pamphlets, with a closet filled with pantsuits
and full suits, shoes and work. Yes, work. Lots of it. Papers and laptops
littered the nearby table.
It was like CJ
haven.
It was CJ
haven! Spying a poster on the back of the door, Josh almost fell back onto the
cot. It was large, with a picture of CJ that said: CJ for President, she's the
woman's woman.
"Joshua, are you
alright?" one asked.
"Where – where am
I?" he croaked. The group giggled.
"Why, you're in CJ
for President headquarters!"
"And we're the
members of CJ's groupies!"
Josh screamed. First
some weirdoes kidnapped him and now he was in the custody of CJ groupies. Like
having one CJ on the Earth wasn't enough.
"I wonder what's
wrong with him?" One asked.
"Oh, TJ, you're such
a shipper," someone laughed, punching TJ in the arm.
"Is it a crime to
want to see Joshua and Claudia Jean together?"
This caused Josh to
scream once again.
The girls giggled
and went back to their work.
**
"Has anyone seen
Rochelle?" Analyn inquired when she walked into the new headquarters after a
day of displaying (and fixing) her Toby for President sign over on Zeigler
Street. Incidentally, it was right near Amber's house. How the enemy was so
lucky as to live near a Zeigler Street was beyond her.
"She disappeared
after the warehouse was demolished," Corey yawned. "How's the campaign going?"
"I think it would
help if the candidate knew he was running," Mackenzie commented.
"That and the fact
that the presidential election isn't for awhile."
"Wait," Analyn
started. "We could change that."
"Huh?"
"Get someone to
kidnap the writer and make her change the election date!" Analyn jumped up.
"C'mon, we kidnapped Josh, we can kidnap her!"
"Don't you think
she'll see us coming?" Mackenzie asked.
"Okay, we'll hold
other agents for ransom!"
"Yeah!" Corey
agreed.
**
Agents Claire and
Eileen were sitting outside a café in Washington DC for some lunch before
making their way to HQ. It was a great little place that tried to look like a
French Café in the middle of a monument to American Government.
Little to say, it
was a little out of place.
After finishing,
Claire and Eileen stepped out of the café into the sunlight (as it was still a
beautiful day) and put on their Josh Sunglasses.
They were on their
way now.
That is, until a
Toby for President sign distracted them. They couldn't see the Toby groupies
running up behind them and placing bags over their heads before shoving them into
a van and driving off. While making their getaway, they didn't notice Claire
and Eileen press their tracking buttons.
On the computer
station in the Josh Lyman Fan Club Agent HQ, two red dots started blinking…
**
Title: The Trouble
With Kidnappers (3/?)
Author: Kira
[kira@foreverbright.net]
See part one for
disclaimers and such.
"We're going to move
the capitol," Shawn announced, standing on a podium in front of a room full of
attentive people. "It's much too cold in the winter here – the capitol needs to
be in California."
"Aren't the CJ
Havenites going to claim they thought of that?" one faceless crowd member
shouted out.
"We have a plan to
keep the Havenites under wraps."
"What is that plan?"
another inquired. Shawn shook his head.
"I can't announce
that in a room full of people!" Muttered oh's and okay's filled the silence as
the people realized how stupid that sounded – tell a plan in a room full of
people. "I can say it has to do with backfire; in fact, that's the name of the
plan: Backfire." Dustin groaned from his seat off to the left. What an idiot!
"Thank you, Shawn,"
Melissa smiled, standing up and moving to the podium so that to prevent Shawn
from spilling anything else. Shawn took the hint and started walking back to
his seat, tripping over a cord in the process. The room shook with laughter as
Melissa smoothed down the front of her plain black skirt.
"We are the ones who
will take this election – we have planning and punctuality on our side!" she
called out, causing the audience to jump to their feet.
Yes, they were going
to take the vote because they were the best – and no group of "agents" was
going to be able to stop the Sam Groupies.
**
While the Sam
Groupies were conspiring to move the United States capitol back to Sam's home
state of California, the CJ Havenites were catering to Josh's every need as he
lay on a pink bed with a red blanket draped over him. At least it was more
comfortable than the cot he'd woken up on.
Girls continued to
move about the small bedroom as they continuously checked up on him and spewed
theories on his relationship with CJ. Well, most were about that. Quite a few
were about CJ and Toby, and Josh recalls one being about Sam and CJ.
These shippers were
insane!
Their questions
centered on things he'd seen and what he thought they meant. When he told them
he didn't think anything should be taken the way they were taking it, they
looked as it they were going to cry and rushed out of the room.
"Hello, Joshua." TJ
entered the room, carrying a tray containing his dinner. There was one thing he
had to admit – TJ really did know what he liked. Pushing the fact that the
reason she knew all this was because she was a Josh/CJ shipper author, he
smiled at the level of dedication one person could have for him.
Just like Donna.
As TJ came closer to
him and set the tray down on the small nightstand to his left, Josh wondered
how Donna was doing. Was she worried? Was she looking for him?
Wait a minute! What
about his fan club! He had a large following, just like those Toby
lovers and these CJ groupies now; what were they doing to find him?
Did they even know
he was gone?
"Joshua? Joshua, are
you alright?" TJ's voice floated to him, breaking him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah, fine," he
replied. In reality, his head was pounding and he couldn't move his left arm.
"What happened to my arm?"
"Oh, you broke it,"
TJ answered a little too cheerfully. "SJ came in and put a cast on it. But
don't worry, SJ's a doctor."
"Oh yeah, that makes
me feel better," Josh quipped, moving to sit up. A nice charred cheeseburger
sat awaiting him.
"You should be as
good as new by the fourth part," TJ smiled.
"That's good, this
is taking entirely way too long. Hey, you know me, do I have a fan club like
this?"
"Yes," TJ answered,
her voice quivering.
"Yes? What's wrong?"
TJ took a moment to collect her thoughts, then shifted on the bed.
"Your fan club is
the most feared. That's why nothing's happened to you that doesn't come out
good in the end. They have agents, a secret headquarters, and the best people
in charge."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah. I'm hoping
you get better before they find us because I don't know if we can stand up
against them. They're like the CIA of groupies. You should see their web site."
"There's a web
site?"
"Yeah. I go there
for information sometimes," she replied. "For my stories," she added quickly.
Josh smiled. He had a friend here, a friend that might be able to help him get
home.
**
"Hey, guys?" Toni
called, turning from the Agent Tracking Screen. Many green dots covered the
globe, many of them converging on their present location. However, two were red
and blinking wildly.
"What's up, Toni?"
Amber asked, walking over to her.
"Claire and Eileen
have activated their distress signals."
"Do you think
they've been kidnapped?" Donna asked.
