Disclaimer: HP and co. belong to J.K. Rowling and WB.

You'll like this. It's funny but not caffeine-high funny. Read? Review! -moi
^_^

Marauders¹ Rivals - Chapter 1 - The First Meeting
³James, you have a letter!²
James, only eleven years old, ran up to his mother and snatched the letter.
He had been waiting for it all summer.
The letter had green ink, but James didn¹t notice this as he tore open his
letter. ³Yes, this is it, Mom!²
³Yes, I know, dear,² his mother said, but James was too into the letter
already.

Dear Mr. Potter,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all
necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl no later than July 31.
Yours Sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress

James wasn¹t surprised at all at this, but he was excited. He was becoming
worried that he wouldn¹t get his letter and be considered a Squib.
³London at September 1st, eh?² his father said. ³I should talk to the
Blacks, isn¹t Sirius your age, James?²
³Yeah, I¹d like to meet him there. How are we getting there? Portkey?
Brooms?²
³Car. Aww, James, I¹m sorry,² seeing the look of disappointment on James¹s
face. ³You aren¹t allowed brooms your first year anyway.²
***
So James and his father picked up Sirius on their way to Platform 9 3/4.
Sirius lived 10 miles away, but their fathers were ministry co-workers, so
they had been friends for quite a while.
³Sirius! Hey!²
³James, look at this.² Sirius whispered. ³It¹s a Put-Outer. At our summer
vacation to Hogsmeade, I got this at Zonko¹s. You know where that is,
right?²
James nodded. He knew Sirius loved pranks and practical jokes. ³Isn¹t that
the thing that stops Muggle lights from working?²
³Yeah.² said Sirius. ³I bet we can give some people a scare by putting out
the light in their compartment.²
James grinned. He knew Sirius wouldn¹t miss a chance to laugh.
As they arrived at King¹s Cross Station, Sirius stared at another boy as
James was borrowing a cart for his trunk.
³See that pale boy with the blond hair? Doesn¹t he look like a Malfoy?²
³Oh yeah.² James said as he stared at the boy in disgust. Mr. Malfoy was a
Ministry wizard whom this boy looked identical to. James¹s father thought
Mr. Malfoy and his family were power-hungry jerks.
The young Malfoy was walking alone to the area between platforms 9 and 10.
Sirius and James put their trunks and luggage in the cart. James¹s dad had
an urgent assignment and had to leave them.
Sirius pushed the cart towards the two platforms. Malfoy was walking toward
the barrier. ³Sirius, no,² James said, but it was too late, Sirius pushed
the cart at high speeds towards Malfoy. Suddenly Malfoy was gone, and then
same with the cart.
³Where...what? My bag?² Sirius said, bewildered.
³The barrier.² James said boredly, and walked through it.
³Oh, that how you get to the platform. I was wondering, my dad never told
me,² Sirius said, but no one heard him. He followed James.
³Look what you¹ve done now.² James said.
Sirius was looking in amazement at the Hogwarts Express, but then snapped
into reality. ³Uh oh...² he groaned.
The cart had ran into Malfoy, but he wasn¹t that hurt. He was, though,
glaring at the boys with a angriness James had never seen anyone have
before. Malfoy snapped out his wand and cried, ³Wingardium Leviosa!² James
and Sirius¹s bags starting rising further away and away. ³Gee, I need to
practice that,² Malfoy said, ³but it serves you right.²
James was ready to curse the boy, but he didn¹t know any spells. However,
Sirius yelled, ³Tarantalegra!² Lucius started wobbling his legs, which were
no longer in control, and ran into the cart which went rolling away.
The cart ran into a greasy-haired boy who looked like he had been watching
them the whole time. ³Tsk tsk. I thought there was no magic allowed before
school. SERPERT!²
A large man wearing emerald green robes and a sour look on his face came at
the boy¹s call. He looked up and saw the two trunks, which were still rising
almost out of view. ³Okay, which one of you...²
³Them.² The greasy-haired boy sneered and pointed and James and Sirius. The
man with the green robes lowered the trunks and healed Malfoy¹s jelly-legs.
³Come along, Lucius.² The greasy-haired boy pulled Malfoy along and into
the train.
³My name¹s Professor Serpert. You shouldn¹t use magic here. If I hear
another peep out of you, I¹ll be sure to give you a failing grade in my
class.² Sirius, who looked very small compared to Serpert, was actually
looking scared. ³Move along, then.²
³I told you not to...² James warned as he and Sirius walked onto the train.
³It was a good idea, but not when you¹re surrounded by adults and
distractions.²
There were no empty compartments left because of their ordeal with Lucius
Malfoy and Serpert, so they walked onto the closest to empty one. All there
was in their compartment was a nervous-looking boy with light brown hair and
shabby clothes who looked like he could do with a good laugh.
³Sirius Black here...didn¹t you know this compartment was reserved?² Sirius
said.
The other boy got up to leave the compartment, but Sirius just slapped him
on the back. ³Just kidding, dude!² The boy looked up at him nervously.
Sirius sat down.
James walked in and said politely, ³James Potter.²
³Remus Lupin,² the boy said. They shook hands, not noticing Sirius
muttering something.
Suddenly Sirius burst into a fit of giggles. James looked down at his hand
and it was sprouting flowers. It must have been very weird to shake, he
thought. He laughed too, and even Remus joined along. The flowers eventually
fell to the ground and disappeared.
³He¹s harmless,² James muttered to Remus. ³You get used to him, and that¹s
when the fun starts.²
Remus smiled. Sirius finally stopped laughing, and they all started talking
about their parents and what they expected about Hogwarts.
The train had been moving for half an hour when the light in their
compartment went out.
Sirius fell into a fit of giggles and the other two boys joined, too. They
heard a new unfamiliar laugh. Sirius turned the light back on. A short, fat
boy was sitting in the corner.
³P-Peter Pettigrew.² He shook Sirius¹s hand and instead got a handful of
flowers. They all laughed. Sirius explained the Put-Outer and James gave
Peter the same ³warning² he had given Remus about Sirius. Soon they all got
settled in.
³Why don¹t we have some fun with this thing,² Sirius said while holding out
the Put-Outer. James smiled, Remus beamed at Sirius, and Peter chortled
stupidly. The four of them left their compartment and stood outside the next
one.
Sirius clicked the Put-Outer. Inside the compartment they heard grumbling,
then a sour voice, then a seat squeak as if a heavy weight was pulled off of
it.
³It¹s Serpert, James, run!² Sirius said and they tore across the aisle to
the back of the train. Peter hobbled behind them.
They reached a compartment and listened through the door.
³My dad said he¹d teach me curses, but no, he said he had Ministry
business.²
³Have you heard of Thetimus?²
³Ooh, I have! Some guy was cursing everyone but I came to the rescue an-²
³Shut up, Lockhart! Do you know what it does, Mulciber?²
³The one that makes your legs go crazy?²
³No, that¹s Tantallegra, you guys don¹t know anything!²
³That¹s that kid with the weird hair!² Sirius whispered to James.
³The perfect victim!² James replied.
Sirius clicked the Put-Outer.
³Oh, is this what it does, Severus?²
³No, I didn¹t say anything, Mulciber. Who did that?²
Lucius Malfoy, who was in the compartment, could hear laughing outside, so
he drew out his wand and said, ³Alohomora!²
The door didn¹t open, so Lucius simply pushed it open.
³Oh, not you again,² he said, as he saw Sirius and James in front of the
open door.
³Hey Lucius, looks like you got Lockhart to shut up,² said a pale boy with
black hair. He gestured to another boy with curly blond hair.
³Hery hunny, Hulciver,² said Lockhart, whose mouth seemed glued open
because Lucius had misaimed in the dark.
³Thetimus!² the greasy haired boy said. The spell hit Sirius, and he
started to sprout leaves from his hair and his arms locked to his body,
which looked like it was turning into bark. ³The tree curse, you idiots,²
the greasy-haired boy said.
³Furnuculus!² said Remus. The greasy haired boy hadn¹t noticed him, so he
was hit and started sprouting boils along his face.
³What should I do, Snape?² the pale boy with the black hair said.
³Leave it that way.² James joked. ³Those boils match your hair, Snape.²
³Allow me, Mulciber.² said Lucius. ³Petrificus Totalus!²
James stood frozen, then fell over lifelessly.
Peter jumped in. He didn¹t know any magic, being muggle-born, but he had
once seen a man use a certain spell. ³Di-D-Diffindo!² he stammered.
There was a tearing noise, and all the boys turned to look at Lockhart,
whose pants had fallen down. He was wearing bright red boxers with white
hearts of different sizes. This combined with the fact that his mouth was
still wide open made him look ridiculously stupid.
Now, Sirius was covered in bark and leaves, James was lying motionlessly on
the floor, Snape had boils all over his face, and Lockhart was too red-faced
to have any other feelings. But Lucius and Mulciber had kill-looks on their
face, and Remus and Peter were the next victims.
Serpert, who had finally found the pranksters, came up then, to Peter and
Remus¹s relief (or maybe horror). ³All right, what now?² He stopped and
stared at Lockhart, who still hadn¹t pulled up his pants. ³Finite
Incatatem!² He waved his wand around and healed Sirius, James, Snape¹s
boils, and Lockhart¹s mouth.
Lockhart quickly pulled his pants up and said, ³Sorry, the lights went out,
so these people started fighting. I tried to stop them, but I-²
³Shut up, Lockhart,² Sirius said in a voice that mocked Snape¹s. He had
just recovered from a fit of laughing because he hadn¹t seen Lockhart¹s
boxers until he was healed.
³Accio!² Serpert said and he took the Put-Outer from Sirius. ³Okay, you
two,² He grabbed Lucius and Lockhart and pushed them into another
compartment. ³I expect you to stay in this compartment.² He returned to the
one with the rest of the boys. ³You two, stay here.² he said to Snape and
Mulciber. ³Come with me, you four.² He took Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter
to near the compartment where the four had met. He pushed Peter and Remus
into the compartment next to theirs and Sirius and James returned to their
original compartment.
Once Serpert had left, though, Peter and Remus went back into the
compartment with Sirius and James.
³Did you hear Lockhart, guys?² James asked. ³He was rambling on about
something to Malfoy, serves him right.² They all laughed.
³And Snape and Mulciber are left in the dark,² Sirius said. He might have
been cursed, but had made new friends and laughed a lot. James was also
content. The year was off to a pretty good start.