This is a freaky little JtHM fic, and Nny and all related characters are the property of the almighty Jhonen Vasquez. It has Nny/Devi, so if you really hate this kind of fic, just remember that you've been warned. I know that Reverend MEAT is ooc, but it's hard to write for a little statue. Please review and flames are welcome, as long as they're not too stupid. I'm babbling again aren't I?
I stood in front of the mirror once again. I remember how not too very long ago, I looked into this very mirror, thinking that maybe there was a room, with a boy just like me on the other side. I remember reaching out and… That was the past. This is now. I look at the face looking back at me, the dark blue hair, the large eyes, the bloodstained shirt, and the tall black boots. I try and read the expression of the one looking back at me. I see something that almost looks like sadness in the eyes, but no, that can't be. I won't let it happen.
You have to stop that my boy. Trying to rid yourself of all emotions is rather pointless don't you think?
Fuck. It was that little burger boy again. Reverend MEAT. Whoever the hell he was, I just wished that he'd leave me alone. Why did he care about my emotions? I was a lost cause, a waste of his time.
No you're not Nny. You've got to stop trying to model your life after a robot, or insect. Feelings are the key Nny.
The key to what Burger Boy? What do I need so much that I must have emotion, feeling?
Happiness. You were happy once Nny.
When? When in my life was I truly happy? Is this a trap, are you lying to me? The statue was annoyingly silent.
Speak up and tell me already! I screamed, feeling a cold sweat on my brow. What was he getting at, what did he have up his sleeves. ((Or would that be an apron??)) I looked back into the mirror, and saw the face looking back at me, same as every, but blurrier.
You know damn well what I mean Nny. What was it you said…ah yes…
What was her name again Johnny? Was it Tess…. no not Tess, maybe Anne…damnit that's not right either.
The mirror before me blurs once more. I see her face now, just as I did then.
Devi. Her name was Devi Burger Boy, and she's gone now. That's probably for the better anyway.
Why do you say that Nny?
Happiness is only another messy emotion. Just like all good things it ends, and having a small happy beginning is better than a long painful end.
Well isn't that what you tried to do? You were going to give her a long, though perhaps short painful end weren't you? You were giving up future happiness for what? The fear of a bitter end?
Shut. Up. Now. I felt something…. something inside me and I looked back into the mirror. I saw us, Devi, and I leaning towards each other, eyes closed preparing for a kiss. I saw myself happy. Happy. With another human being.
Aahhhh. Yeah. This is strange. I mean what do I say? You are beautiful, I mean…God, I'm so completely happy, right now. You've made me happy.
That was such a good feeling. Like the first cold icy sip of a BrainFreezy, but sweeter, different. It almost-almost made me want it again, but that was giving in to my emotions, and I couldn't do that could I?
Augh! I hate writer's block! If anyone knows of a good way to get rid of it, e-mail me @ astarael@envy.nu
Otherwise, the ending will come sometime, in the hopefully near future.
Questions? Comments? Death threats? Please review!
