I looked at the watch my mother gave me for my birthday. It was 7:00 AM. I
forgot the time, when I saw the nice sunrise. It was almost over.
A minute later, it was finished.
I got up, but didn't go home. I walked along the beach for a while. The life
guards began to open their towers. I was the only one at the beach and I felt
their eyes staring at me. What was wrong with me? Why didn't guys like me?
"Yes, I'm here", I answered hatefully. I hated it when they called me
Josephine. It was a ugly name.
For the rest of the class, I looked out the window. The teacher was babbling
about something. I didn't listen. For the first time in my life, I didn't pay
attention.
I heard the bell ring, and I walked slowly out the classroom. Everyone was
staring at me. They weren't used to the "Don't-pay-attention-Joey",
they were used to me rushing out the door to get to the next class. And second
of all, I looked like trash.
I didn't mind their looks and their laughing. I was in my own little world. My
own safe little place.
When the school day ended, instead of going home, I went to the beach again.
There were a lot of people here. Most of them were grownups, but some where
high school kids. I saw many people kissing. It made me sick. I wanted to throw
up. Instead of watching them, I looked out over the sea. I closed my eyes, and
pretended I were somewhere else. I pretended I was on the beach alone. No one
kissing. No one watching me. Just me. I opened my eyes, to see less people. I
smiled a bit.
I jumped on to the bed. I stared at the ceiling once again. Nothing but white.
Like my life. A blank piece of paper. My life was horrible. Sometimes I even
thought about killing my self. I thought about the different ways of doing it.
Drowning, jumping, a knife. I had more and worse ways up in my head.
A tear fell down on my cheek. Why was I feeling like this? Was I so bad as I
thought I was? I started crying. I stuffed my head in my pillow. I didn't want
Bessie to know I was crying. I hated it when she tried to give me advice. Like
that would make it all go away. She thought she was the expert of giving
advice. I followed her advice once. It cost me my boyfriend. From that day, I
never took her advice.
We kinda grew apart Bessie and me. All the years just took us further and
further apart. With all this going on in my head, the thoughts and everything,
I felt like a twister ruining everything. I felt like a F5. I was angry. Angry
at the world.
When I was done with the make-up part, I looked perfect. Now all I needed was
perfect clothes. I looked through my entire closet. I found something I once
used for a Halloween party. It was a bitchy-whore kinda thing. It was a short thigh
leather skirt, with a split on the side, and a white see through blouse.
I looked at myself in the mirror. For the first time, I actually liked myself.
"Hey there", he said staring at my body. "I never knew you had
such a great body", he kept staring.
"Surprise surprise", was all I said to him. I walked towards my
classroom.
"Hey wait up! Are you doing anything tonight?", he asked taking my
books.
If I said that I wasn't doing anything, he would think of me as un-cool again,
but before I had a chance to say what I was going to say, he said;
"Wanna go to Bourtons party tonight?"
"Sure, that was where I was planning to go", I smiled sexy.
"I'll pick you up at eight", he gave me a little kiss on the cheek,
then went to his classroom.
"Josephine Potter, are you listening", the annoying teacher asked me.
"Don't call me Josephine! It's Joey! And no, I'm not listening to your
totally boring stories", I yelled.
The entire class was quite as mice. Everybody stared at me like I was some kind
of animal.
Luckily for me the bell rang. I rushed out the door before Ms. Bee had a chance
to grab me. I skipped school for the rest of the day afraid Ms. Bee would find
me and torment me with her lectures.
"Yup. So, are we gonna party or what?", I asked while posing sexy.
"Oh yes baby, but first drink some of this. It will get you in a party
mood", Ben handed me a blue plastic class.
At first, I drank little bit of it, then a little bit more. Then so much I
couldn't remember how much. The next thing I knew we were partying to the
pumping music. Lights and people spinning around me. I remember Ben asking me
how I was doing. I didn't answer, I just partied some more. I can't remember
the last time I had this much fun. And just because of a different outfit and a
different attitude. Life sure is weird.
"Be, I better get going. Bessie's probably worrying about me", I
screamed.
"What?", Ben looked confused.
I thought about it for a second.
"What am I saying? Screw Bessy. I make my own rules", I said as I
partied on.
"I'll be right back. Just going to get something to drink for us. Don't
you move one inch".
"I won't", I smiled sweetly.
