Blind Anger by Michiru Cugami Blind Anger

Quatre felt something close to dread in his heart and he didn't know why. So he ignored it, but he already had a nagging feeling behind his stubborn head that something's going to happen. He just couldn't get it. **Damnit...what?!** It was there, somewhere inside his subconscious but he just couldn't reach it.

Slowly, he rose from his seat and closed the book that he was reading. He snook a peek in the kitchen and saw that Duo was eating a hearty snack while the others ate in a slower pace. He smiled a little. In the middle of this cursed war, they didn't have a choice but to keep running, hiding and fighting. So, any luxury that he could give the other pilots, he would gladly give just so that they could at least pretend even for just a little while, that the war didn't affect them.

He then went to his room passing by Heero's room, then he stopped in his tracks. He touched the knob of the door, but then stopped again. Why was he doing that? What was he going to do? He knew that Heero was currently out for a mission so why was he standing outside the Wing pilot's door.

He turned the knob and went in. It looked like any ordinary room in the house, so why was he inside someone else's room. He couldn't shake the feeling away that he was supposed to be doing something. But he didn't know what. Heero's laptop was placed on the table, closed. Of course, what would he expect.

He looked around and nothing was amiss. So, what was he doing inside the room? He was ready to bang his head over and over just to make his mind work, but he wouldn't do that. The hit would hurt too much, and besides, what good could he do if he got injured. Injured because he banged his head on the wall. He made a frustrated sound. He was even sounding ridiculous. He had to know what's making him like this or else he'll go insane. It never felt nice to feel that you were supposed to know something yet couldn't. He sat in front of the laptop and logged in.

Enter Password.

He raised his eyebrows. Looks like he would have to do it the hard way...... What was he doing? He didn't know the password, and he was sure that Heero had top security locks when it came to his laptop. And yet, his hands danced around the keyboard and typed numerous codes to hack into Heero's laptop. He knew it was a futile attempt, so why was he even trying?
The whole thing might even self-destruct if he placed the wrong passwords. And still, he continued until finally everything became mechanical. He didn't think anymore, just let his hands and eyes do the work.

System Lock 1

unlocked

System Lock 2

unlocked

His fingers continued to dance along the keys as one by one the system locks for the code was unlocked and the password was finally confirmed. He also knew that by this time the mission objectives were thoroughly erased, but maybe not yet from the back up files. And so he searched again, and found nothing.

He leaned back on the chair, wondering again why he was inside the room. And what was he searching in Heero's laptop. Then he sat up straight again and continued typing. He may not find the objectives, but he'd surely find the background for the current mission.

His eyes narrowed when the infos started showing up one by one. It was familiar, very very familiar. Why? Because he had received the same data 2 days ago and his superior had said that he would give Quatre the next batch of info along with the mission objective. And the data that he was seeing now, was the complete one, and marked by Dr. S.

Not J.

All the information for total annihilation was designed for Sandrock's ability.

Not Wing.

One thing was very clear.

Heero had intercepted Quatre's mission.

Quatre logged out of Heero's laptop with a frown. He sat there silently in his chair as he took everything in. And his conclusion was, he didn't understand the reason why Heero would take a mission from him. It wasn't a hard mission....well, it was hard since it's a whole base and he had to destroy it from inside out, not outside in. He may not be as good as Trowa and Heero for infiltrating but he could do that damn well. He shook his head, he was even cursing already.

He once again gathered his thoughts. He thought of any possible reason on why the Wing pilot would intercept missions, didn't he know that a mission would come to him anytime? He stood up and walked towards the door. He listened hard if anyone was outside and when he heard nothing but silence, he slowly came out of the room and walked towards his own silently.

**Was he trying to protect me? If yes, from what then? If yes, why would he do that?** He knew that as a leader, Heero cared for his team, but he would never get a mission from them. As for something deeper, he didn't want to think about that one.

He closed the door inside his room and contemplated on what to do. So, now he knew the nagging feeling that something was wrong. Someone took his mission. But what can he do about it? Should he just wait and ask? That's definitely out of the question. As if Heero would answer him in the first place. Instead, the question might be thrown back at him of how he knew,
then he would say he found out through Heero's laptop. And after saying that, he should probably say his last prayers.

What to do? What to do? He repeated over and over in his head. And still nothing was clear, though there was one answer but he was trying to ignore that particular one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero just finished wiring the computer to give him access to the core of the building. The place was huge compared to the detailed map that he received earlier. It took him hours to get inside the territory, and hours to find the core, and another hour to wire everything. He now faced another part of the building that should be the core. And he immediately sprang into action and found the mainframe computer. He hacked and programmed a silent bomb that'd explode inside the hard drive and destroy all data.

The programming wasn't hard, the hard part was timing his escape. He never did it before, but now he cared for life. Because someone had taught him about it. His teacher never taught him directly though, he just watched him. Watched him care for everyone, value their lives as if they were of his own. And if someone was hurt, it was like he was trying to take all the pain from
them, and in a way he was succeeding, and he was hurting instead of them. All because he cared so much. And because of that, he would have to die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quatre came out of his room and told his friends that he would just visit Sandrock. Duo made a comment that he was turning as bad as Wufei and his Nataku, and the braided boy got a long rant about caring for Gundams and valuing their worth and how dare he insult the Chinese boy for valuing his beloved Gundam. Quatre just smiled at them and told them that he would be back.

He climbed inside Sandrock's cockpit and found something else to do than just sit inside his room. He still didn't know what to do though. He checked for missions, force of habit and found nothing. Then he checked the systems for Sandrock if they were all in good condition.

They were.

Then one caught his eye.

He touched the keys softly, then slowly typed Z E R...

He stopped himself from doing it and frowned. He remembered what he did in Zero mode, it was never a pleasant memory. And after all of those, Heero trusted him the program. It belonged to Wing Zero, and yet it's pilot gave ZERO system to Sandrock's. Because Heero trusted him. And he was grateful for that trust, and he valued that trust. And yet, he hacked into someone else's files, the one who gave him his trust. He was traveling into guilt road again, but he couldn't help it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero computed the amount of time he would be needing to escape, and then made the code for it to detonate at exactly 7 minutes. He was done planting all bombs throughout the compound, and it would all go off once the silent bomb did it's work. And by that time, he should be a good distance away, with his Wing Zero and flying back to his friends. Friends....he never had
friends. He never called them that, and yet he learned. And once again from him. Friendship, trust...and what he did wasn't the one of trust.

He stopped his mind from wandering off and finished what he was doing. Then he stood up and ran to where he came in. He has 7 minutes to find his way back out of the compound. When he opened the door from the core, he ran as fast as he could. Before he rounded the corner, a woman came out. He automatically pointed his revolver, and he was faced with the same.

They pointed revolver to revolver, neither moved, neither talked. Then the woman smiled, and Heero backed away. Cerulean blue eyes, blonde hair flowing behind her back, smooth skin, the kind smile of an angel......she reminded him of Quatre. Yes, she was older, and feminine, but the resemblance was remarkable. Too remarkable to be a coincidence.

The woman snapped her fingers and 4 men emerged from the corner and entered the building's core. No doubt removing the silent bomb. Heero glared hard at her, and she kept smiling kindly at him. Revolver still pointed at his head, and the other pointed at her heart. Why couldn't he just shoot her?

She then opened the shoulder bag that she was carrying, and she dropped all it's contents on the floor. All the bombs that he planted. And yet, she still smiled, and it unnerved him. He wanted to shoot her and leave, but couldn't.

He knew why.

Because she was one of Quatre's sisters.

One of the many reasons why he took this mission.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Quatre still sat on his Gundam, now silent in reverie. Then he made his decision. He climbed back down again and went back inside with the others. He told them that he was leaving for a mission. They only nodded in understanding, and Duo gave him the good luck speech then he smiled and left.

Mission Objective: Find Heero.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

"Shoot, little boy." The woman dared him in a soft kind tone.

He hated her. How could she remain looking like an angel, speaking like an angel yet everything underneath her was nothing but the opposite.

He wanted to pull the trigger and be done with it.

She lowered her gun and grinned at him, then shot his leg.

He remained standing though the wound made him wince. But he stood firm, gun still pointed at her but couldn't shoot.

She shot his other leg, and this time he fell, and his gun also dropped to the floor. He couldn't shoot her.

She then kneeled in front of him and held his chin like a sister, "I knew you can't shoot me. You know why?"

He glared harder, willing her to die with his eyes. But she still didn't waver, she even looked amused. The nerve of this woman....

"Because I am connected to him. If I die, he would know. And if he would find out who did it...and after he did, you already know what happened the last time, ne?" She said in a whisper like an angel soothing a sinner, but her words were more than enough to give him more reason to kill her. But it was the truth, he couldn't.

"Take him away, I'll deal with him personally." She smiled to the 4 men.

His mission failed. There was one question that he wanted to be answered though, "Why?"

"Oh..you can speak?" She still smiled like some kind gentle older sister, but the mockery of her words was there. "Well, I guess I can answer that. Because I want all of this to end, the war. And for that to happen, all those who started it must die. You, my brother, the others, OZ, and including myself. I work for no one but myself."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quatre hid his Sandrock not far from the place where the mission was currently taking place. He entered with stealth, and found his way in. It looked like Heero was finished already, but the place was still in one piece. So that meant, that the other was still here. He felt stupid for following, he might be endangering them both by being there alone. But, it was his mission after all, and two were always better than one.

He was about to turn left to where he knew the core should be and Heero might be, but he turned right. He never betrayed his instincts, and so he continued on. He reached an opening and found a forest beyond that point. He was confused. Why did his instincts guided him at that place?

Then he heard a motor roar, and he hid behind the pillar. He saw some men on the jeep, a blonde woman, and Heero. One thing registered in his mind then. Heero got caught.

He hurriedly rode the other jeep that was parked and hot wired it then he followed them from a good distance. Letting his ear guide him this time rather than his eyes.

He slowly pulled out of the road and followed the other jeep from behind the large trees. He stopped when he no longer heard the motor of the other jeep. And he stepped out of the jeep silently. He took some supplies from the cargo and climbed back up to the road to follow by foot.

When he reached the place, they were on a boat. He was genuinely confused on where they were going. The lake was connected to the sea, and if they were going to a nearby island, that little boat won't get them any further. He was shocked when the boat stopped in the middle of the lake and the blonde pushed Heero over, chains and rocks bound his hands and feet. They waited for a while and then rode back to land. Quatre's eyes were huge and glazed. He could watch them die in gunshots, but never like that. He always knew that they'd die in battle eventually, but not helpless like the way Heero did. Not by being pushed over the boat.

He hurriedly hid and found his way towards the lake without being seen. When he looked back, he saw they were all inside the jeep and was about to gun the engine. He aimed his gun at the tire, and it exploded, next he aimed at the gas tank. The gas leaked out, and finally, he aimed for the gas. The whole jeep exploded with everyone in it scorched and burned.

C&Cs!!!!
please...it's been a long time since I wrote yaoi again...and Nanainan (yaoi muse) just started to live again. ^^