Blind Anger by Michiru Cugami
Blind Anger 2

Quatre no longer watched the flames as the jeep exploded. He felt something in his heart, but he had no time for guilt, he had to save someone.

Heero.

After he had fired the killing bullet, he jumped to the boat and rode it to where he remembered they dropped Heero's body. When he reached the spot, hopefully it was the right one. He wished that Heero held on. He knew that as pilots they could last longer under water than necessary because of their training. But Heero was their best pilot, so he should last longer than any of them.

Before he reached the spot, he had removed his vest, shirt and shoes. And when he was finally there, he stopped the motor of the boat and dived, swimming as fast as he could, looking for Heero. And the strange thing was, he was calm.

When he found Heero, he almost breathed a sigh of relief but stopped himself when he remembered that he was under water. Heero was still chained to the big rocks that kept him from swimming or floating away. He swam over the Wing pilot and shook him to see if he was still alive. He couldn't panic, not now, no time for those little emotions. He had to save Heero.

Heero didn't move. And Quatre shook harder.

Quatre slapped Heero's face, and the eyes slowly opened. Quatre smiled, even under water, and signalled him that he would be right back. Heero was loosing air, and Quatre saw it. He didn't need to think anymore. He pressed his lips to Heero's and gave him enough air until he comes back again.

Heero thought that he would die finally, but something kept him to hold on for life. Then someone slapped him to wakefulness and saw the one person he didn't expect to see again. Then he was shocked when the blonde pressed his lips to him. When Quatre pulled away, he nodded to the other pilot and swam up to the surface again. Heero just watched him, wondering how he had gotten in there.

Quatre swam towards the boat and reached for his vest. He searched for something and finally smiled in triumph when he found it. They all had lock picks in their clothes, while Duo hid his in his hair. Anyway, after getting enough air again, he dived back down to Heero. When he was under water again, Quatre held his hand and started working on the lock. Duo was their best bet in lockpicking and he wished that he was here. But there was no time for that either. He continued to work. Heero held his hand suddenly and he looked at the other boy. The other boy shook his head as if asking him to go and leave him.

Quatre removed his hand away from Heero's grasp, suddenly angry but continued working anyway. When he felt that he was about to lose air again, he pressed his lips to Heero's and gave the other boy his air once again as he swam to the surface to breathe in more air.

He dived down again, and pressed his lips to Heero's to give him more air. Then he proceeded to work again. He got 2 locks done, 2 more to go and Heero's free. He removed the one chain off his wrist, and one on his foot. He proceeded to remove the other one on his foot when he saw red on the water. He looked up at Heero and saw that the other boy removed the chain
from his other hand the painful way. He picked the final lock and the chain was gone.

He held Heero and swam both of them on the surface. The other boy may look alive, but he knew that the other one was as good as dead. He pushed Heero on the boat and pulled himself up next. They both gasped for air. After a little while, Heero just stared at Quatre and then fell like a rag doll.

Quatre caught Heero and covered him with his dry shirt and vest. Then he motored the boat again and went back on dry ground. He was cold, and shivering, but Heero needed the warmth than him. When they were on dry ground, he half dragged, half carried Heero to a clearing but still secluded from the main road. He took a glimpse on the scorched jeep but ignored it.

He felt like a monster. He killed them with his hands. Literally, this time. He had killed, yes, but with the Gundam, not like the way he just did. And the worst part was, he never felt an ounce of guilt. Not even sadness to their deaths. He had become a real monster.

He was no longer Quatre.

He created a bonfire. He knew that a fire was dangerous, especially when you're hiding, but Heero needed the warmth. He would just sleep lightly just in case someone would come and attack them.

He arranged Heero comfortably, he was still wearing Quatre's shirt and vest to give him at least additional warmth. Quatre contemplated on running back to his abandoned jeep and find some blanket. And that idea had won out. So he ran as fast as he could to that bush again, and rummaged the cargo, found two blankets, first aid kit but no food. He could live without food. And he ran back to where he left Heero.

Heero lay there, unmoved. He removed the other's wet clothes and covered him with his dry shirt and vest again, and then covered him with one blanket. He was going to use the other one, since he too was feeling colder as the temperature drops with the sun.

Quatre tended Heero's wound on the wrist silently. It was deep. Try pulling your hand out of a chain...he shuddered again when he remembered that scene. He looked at Heero and covered him again with the blanket. It was a good thing that he didn't develop a fever, just too tired and cold. He wondered if Heero was human. Duo always kid around about that little thing, was Heero human? But when he looked at the other boy now, sleeping peacefully. He believed that he was as human as they were. More human than him. Heero was honest to himself, true to his own feelings. He was innocent, yes, he was. He was just forced to kill, forced in this kind of life. And as for Quatre, it was his decision to fight this war. He had everything he needed, a pacifist family, and yet he fought this war. He hid behind the mask of an angel. Maybe he was an angel, before. But now, he didn't even blinked when he killed. He no longer had the conscience that he once used to have.

He still didn't know why Heero took his mission though. And he would ask first thing when the other boy woke up. He remained awake until he could, gun on his lap and watched Heero sleep. The wind blew and he shivered, he was still bare chested and he moved to take the unused blanket to cover himself but stopped. He covered Heero with the second blanket instead. He leaned on the tree and watched Heero again as he slept near the fire. Then he too fell asleep with nothing in his head but to keep Heero alive. He may no longer have a chance at life, but he would let the other boy live his life. Heero was just learning to live, while he was tired of it. There was no reason anymore. He had become a monster who took pleasure in killing.

Heero woke up and the first thing he saw was the fire. And he was covered with a blanket, his wound well tended, and he was wearing Quatre's shirt and vest. And most of all, he was alive. He thought that it was a dream that Quatre came to save him. But he really did.

He looked around for Quatre and didn't find him. Then he adjusted his sight to the darkness and saw a glimpse of blonde hair. He silently walked towards the figure leaning on a tree. But before he even reached a good distance from the boy who saved his life, cerulean eyes blinked awake, and gun zeroed on his head. But he didn't blink, he was a little surprised at Quatre's reflexes though.

Then he sat beside Quatre when the blonde dropped the gun and apologized.

"Here...." Heero gave Quatre the other blanket.

"Arigatou...." Quatre reluctantly took the blanket and covered himself. Sleeping in the cold night air, bare chested was not some sane man would do, especially when he just got out of water.

Heero looked hard on Quatre. Something was wrong.

"About the mission...." Quatre started to say.

Heero closed his eyes and leaned on the tree. He should've known that he would find out eventually. He wouldn't bother asking how, as he already had an idea and he didn't like it one bit. "Hai..."

"You took it. Why?" Quatre's voice was strained, either from fatigue or something else.

"I had to."

Cerulean met cobalt blue. The other waited for the other to continue, but neither spoke for quite some time. Then cobalt blue eyes closed and slowly opened to focus at the fire instead. "What happened to those who tried to kill me?"

Quatre looked at the fire too. Then he said softly, "I killed them."

The fire cracked and emulated a red glow on their faces as they focused on it silently. Heero remained silent for a while, pondering whether he should tell Quatre that he just killed his own sister. "You saved my life." He was never good with words but he would try to evade the question as much as possible, "Arigatou."

"I had to." Quatre said simply. "I won't let you die."

They remained silent again. And Quatre once again, asked the question, "Why?" He didn't need to elaborate. It was obvious that the other pilot was trying to change the subject.

Heero didn't reply, but eventually said, "It's a long story."

"I have to know, Heero. Please." Quatre looked down and toyed with his revolver with downcast eyes. He just wanted to know why.

Heero looked at Quatre's form and then to the gun. He slowly reached out for the gun and released it in Quatre's hold. Quatre looked at him, and Heero replied, "I'll tell you........but..."

Quatre just nodded. "Just tell me....then I won't ask for another."

Heero didn't know where to start. He was never the one to talk but he had to tell Quatre, somehow. He gave his word. Besides, he deserved to know.....even if it might hurt. "It might hurt..."

"I can no longer feel pain. You don't have to worry about that." Quatre said coldly as he once again stared at the crackling fire.

A frown crossed Heero's face as he stared at Quatre. He didn't know why Quatre said what he said. "Very well....I might as well start in the beginning."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quatre landed his Sandrock in the hangar and went inside the house looking tired. He still managed to smile at the others, tiredly. He then went to his room to report the success of his current mission. Heero was currently typing in his room, doing some reports himself. They had been very busy lately, everyone always had a mission or two to attend to each time. Though
most of their missions were pretty easy compared to the others they had been through.

Heero heard the soft footsteps outside his open door. He turned his head to see who was coming, and saw Quatre walk past his door, shoulders slumped. He frowned. True, everyone were almost always in missions, but Quatre had been the one who had been receiving the most and hardest missions. He even got another mission as soon as he got back the last time. He just typed his report then, and left for his next mission that very same day.

Heero started to see a pattern on the way their superiors gave missions. Normally, when a hard mission was handed out to be executed by a lone pilot, at least one among the pilots have a mission close to it or in stand by. But Quatre's missions were always the farthest from any of them.

He just ignored that until he saw that Quatre was tiring himself already. He barely had a day to rest before being sent to another mission again. True, sometimes all of them didn't have any mission at the same time, but Quatre would spend that whole day asleep in his room.

He still didn't mind it.

Until he received a message from his superior.

::::::::If one of the pilots refuse or fail a mission...kill him automatically.We decided to remove any uncooperative pilots but then we just settled on removing an ex-pilot permanently. He can't live since he knows too much about the Gundams.::::::::::::

He didn't understand it at first. Why would any of them refuse a mission?

They were all seated at the dining room, eating their dinner. Their laptops were on the kitchen counter, just in case a mission would come in. And one of the screens blinked. Heero stood up and looked if it was his laptop, but it was Quatre's. He called Quatre, and he heard the other boy sigh as he opened the mission file.

Heero stared at his food, though he could still see the images from Quatre's laptop through the side of his eyes. Quatre was tired, he just arrived last night and barely slept because of the reports that he had to make. When the blonde finally closed his laptop again, everyone was done eating. "Ne....I would volunteer to clean but I've got things to do. Gomen but I'll go ahead."

Quatre bowed at all of them goodnight, then left with his laptop to his own room. Duo shook his head, "Quatre's starting to be like you, Heero......nothing important, just mission."

Heero glared at the remark, but it was true. It seemed that if Quatre didn't smile once in a while, he would think that he had met his twin. And it was not something he'd want to happen. Ever.

Everyone was sleeping already, Heero was sure of that as he laid awake in his own bed, in his own room. Then he sat up and faced the laptop. He logged on and typed some passwords and codes, and then proceeded to hack.

He hacked Quatre's laptop so he would have access from his own laptop to the files of Quatre. He searched for the newest file, which was the mission file sent earlier during dinner.

He read the file. It wasn't hard, not that hard. Same old thing, infiltrate, then annihilate. Though this one was different, inside-out, instead of outside-in. There were still missing data, and the scientist said that he would send it out the next few days.

Then suddenly, the screen blinked and a new message was sent to Quatre's. It was another mission and it was to be executed the first thing in the morning.

Heero scowled. Quatre just got back a while ago, and then there it was again. Even he, himself didn't received didn't receive missions in close successions. What were they trying to do? Tire Quatre out?

Something snapped when those thoughts came to him. There was something going on here, but there weren't enough clues for him to understand just yet. But it was there. He would just have to find out.

When they woke up the next day, Quatre wasn't with them for breakfast. But there was a note saying that he left for mission and would be back at the end of the day or tomorrow morning. Duo shook his head and muttered that Quatre needed to rest. Trowa nodded silently, though there was worry in his features already. Even Wufei was worried with the way Quatre's missions came in like flowing water.

When Quatre came back the next morning, he looked like he was about to give up. He didn't talk to anyone, or smiled at all. He just muttered that he won't be eating with them for a while and then went straight to his room. In a little while, they heard the tapping of the laptop keys. Trowa shook his head, Duo sat silently and very worried, Wufei's brows furrowed but remained
silent as well. Heero walked out from his room and watched Quatre's half-opened door from his position. Then he closed the door and typed something in his laptop with a determined expression on his face. Quatre would rest the next few days.

Night came and Heero was sleeping when he heard the beep of a new message. He read the message and downloaded the files. He read each of the files carefully and silently. Then he gritted his teeth.

He now understood the message sent to him by his superior to kill anyone who would refuse any mission. He was sure that Quatre would refuse this next mission, or even if he did accept, he would surely fail one way or another. He glared at the mission objective::

name of target:: Shrephileon base
head:: Kylie W(inner) Shrephileon
objective:: infiltration ; destroy core from inside-out ; total annihilation, make sure no one survives ; make sure of the death of the head and report back immediately

There was a picture attached, and the rest of the files. Everything was hard from the very start but it wouldn't have been much of a problem if Quatre was well-rested. But besides that fact, there was another problem.

Kylie Winner Shrephileon

Heero did a search string on that name to know who that person was, and if she had any connection to the Winner household. And his instincts were correct. Quatre would definitely deny this mission, if not....at least fail to kill....his own sister.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end of flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero was silent after he said everything. He never spoke that long in his whole life, but Quatre deserved to know everything. He looked at the blonde boy, and slightly worried since he wasn't expecting the reaction that he was getting. He didn't know what Quatre's reaction would be but he definitely didn't expect Quatre to laugh.

Quatre laughed bitterly, "So....they wanted me out of the team."

Heero stared, silent and then started to say something, "Quatre...."

"They wanted me to die on the battlefield, that's why they kept sending me hard missions and in close successions. But they couldn't. I survived all those. So they made sure that I either fail the next one or refuse it." Quatre said darkly.

"We're not sure if that was what they were planning," Heero said calmly, though he knew that the blonde was right. But the way Quatre was acting, started to make him worry for the blonde. Now, he was really unsure on what Quatre's about to do.

"Well....they got what they wanted. The head of the Shrephileon base is dead. I killed her, and made sure that she didn't survive. No one could survive being burnt alive in an exploding jeep. It's just the base now that needed to be annihilated, then everything should be over." Quatre continued on coldly.

Heero shuddered inside. Quatre said that he killed his sister with utter coldness. He was about to say something when Quatre spoke all of a sudden.

"Rest, Heero. You need it. Don't worry, the mission would be over soon. Your bombs were still there, I presume. Though it might not be scattered to the right places. Give me the codes." Quatre ordered as he got his own detonator from his pocket. Each pilots had one, and it was a general detonator. All it needed was the password for the bombs planted, and then press the button, boom. Ninmu Kanryou.

Heero was hesitant to give Quatre the code. True, a mission was a mission, and the head was dead already. But Quatre really worried him.

"Code, Heero." Quatre said pointedly.

Heero just nodded and gave the codes. Quatre programmed everything on the detonator, and then pushed the button just as quickly. No hesitations, no questions, just pushed it. And there was a loud explosion heard somewhere. Quatre smirked, "Ninmu Kanryou."

Heero fell silent all of a sudden. He was seeing himself in Quatre.

And he never wanted to see any of his personalities in one of his friends, especially Quatre.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
end part 2