Blind Anger by Michiru Cugami
Quatre no longer watched
the flames as the jeep exploded. He felt something in his heart, but he had
no time for guilt, he had to save someone.
Heero.
After he had fired the
killing bullet, he jumped to the boat and rode it to where he remembered they
dropped Heero's body. When he reached the spot, hopefully it was the right one.
He wished that Heero held on. He knew that as pilots they could last longer
under water than necessary because of their training. But Heero was their best
pilot, so he should last longer than any of them.
Before he reached the spot,
he had removed his vest, shirt and shoes. And when he was finally there, he
stopped the motor of the boat and dived, swimming as fast as he could, looking
for Heero. And the strange thing was, he was calm.
When he found Heero, he
almost breathed a sigh of relief but stopped himself when he remembered that
he was under water. Heero was still chained to the big rocks that kept him from
swimming or floating away. He swam over the Wing pilot and shook him to see
if he was still alive. He couldn't panic, not now, no time for those little
emotions. He had to save Heero.
Heero didn't move. And
Quatre shook harder.
Quatre slapped Heero's
face, and the eyes slowly opened. Quatre smiled, even under water, and signalled
him that he would be right back. Heero was loosing air, and Quatre saw it. He
didn't need to think anymore. He pressed his lips to Heero's and gave him enough
air until he comes back again.
Heero thought that he would
die finally, but something kept him to hold on for life. Then someone slapped
him to wakefulness and saw the one person he didn't expect to see again. Then
he was shocked when the blonde pressed his lips to him. When Quatre pulled away,
he nodded to the other pilot and swam up to the surface again. Heero just watched
him, wondering how he had gotten in there.
Quatre swam towards the
boat and reached for his vest. He searched for something and finally smiled
in triumph when he found it. They all had lock picks in their clothes, while
Duo hid his in his hair. Anyway, after getting enough air again, he dived back
down to Heero. When he was under water again, Quatre held his hand and started
working on the lock. Duo was their best bet in lockpicking and he wished that
he was here. But there was no time for that either. He continued to work. Heero
held his hand suddenly and he looked at the other boy. The other boy shook his
head as if asking him to go and leave him.
Quatre removed his hand
away from Heero's grasp, suddenly angry but continued working anyway. When he
felt that he was about to lose air again, he pressed his lips to Heero's and
gave the other boy his air once again as he swam to the surface to breathe in
more air.
He dived down again, and
pressed his lips to Heero's to give him more air. Then he proceeded to work
again. He got 2 locks done, 2 more to go and Heero's free. He removed the one
chain off his wrist, and one on his foot. He proceeded to remove the other one
on his foot when he saw red on the water. He looked up at Heero and saw that
the other boy removed the chain
from his other hand the painful way. He picked the final lock and the chain
was gone.
He held Heero and swam
both of them on the surface. The other boy may look alive, but he knew that
the other one was as good as dead. He pushed Heero on the boat and pulled himself
up next. They both gasped for air. After a little while, Heero just stared at
Quatre and then fell like a rag doll.
Quatre caught Heero and
covered him with his dry shirt and vest. Then he motored the boat again and
went back on dry ground. He was cold, and shivering, but Heero needed the warmth
than him. When they were on dry ground, he half dragged, half carried Heero
to a clearing but still secluded from the main road. He took a glimpse on the
scorched jeep but ignored it.
He felt like a monster.
He killed them with his hands. Literally, this time. He had killed, yes, but
with the Gundam, not like the way he just did. And the worst part was, he never
felt an ounce of guilt. Not even sadness to their deaths. He had become a real
monster.
He was no longer Quatre.
He created a bonfire. He
knew that a fire was dangerous, especially when you're hiding, but Heero needed
the warmth. He would just sleep lightly just in case someone would come and
attack them.
He arranged Heero
comfortably, he was still wearing Quatre's shirt and vest to give him at least
additional warmth. Quatre contemplated on running back to his abandoned jeep
and find some blanket. And that idea had won out. So he ran as fast as he could
to that bush again, and rummaged the cargo, found two blankets, first aid kit
but no food. He could live without food. And he ran back to where he left Heero.
Heero lay there, unmoved.
He removed the other's wet clothes and covered him with his dry shirt and vest
again, and then covered him with one blanket. He was going to use the other
one, since he too was feeling colder as the temperature drops with the
sun.
Quatre tended Heero's wound
on the wrist silently. It was deep. Try pulling your hand out of a chain...he
shuddered again when he remembered that scene. He looked at Heero and covered
him again with the blanket. It was a good thing that he didn't develop a fever,
just too tired and cold. He wondered if Heero was human. Duo always kid around
about that little thing, was Heero human? But when he looked at the other boy
now, sleeping peacefully. He believed that he was as human as they were. More
human than him. Heero was honest to himself, true to his own feelings. He was
innocent, yes, he was. He was just forced to kill, forced in this kind of life.
And as for Quatre, it was his decision to fight this war. He had everything
he needed, a pacifist family, and yet he fought this war. He hid behind the
mask of an angel. Maybe he was an angel, before. But now, he didn't even blinked
when he killed. He no longer had the conscience that he once used to have.
He still didn't know why
Heero took his mission though. And he would ask first thing when the other boy
woke up. He remained awake until he could, gun on his lap and watched Heero
sleep. The wind blew and he shivered, he was still bare chested and he moved
to take the unused blanket to cover himself but stopped. He covered Heero with
the second blanket instead. He leaned on the tree and watched Heero again as
he slept near the fire. Then he too fell asleep with nothing in his head but
to keep Heero alive. He may no longer have a chance at life, but he would let
the other boy live his life. Heero was just learning to live, while he was tired
of it. There was no reason anymore. He had become a monster who took pleasure
in killing.
Heero woke up and the first
thing he saw was the fire. And he was covered with a blanket, his wound well
tended, and he was wearing Quatre's shirt and vest. And most of all, he was
alive. He thought that it was a dream that Quatre came to save him. But he really
did.
He looked around for Quatre
and didn't find him. Then he adjusted his sight to the darkness and saw a glimpse
of blonde hair. He silently walked towards the figure leaning on a tree. But
before he even reached a good distance from the boy who saved his life, cerulean
eyes blinked awake, and gun zeroed on his head. But he didn't blink, he was
a little surprised at Quatre's reflexes though.
Then he sat beside Quatre
when the blonde dropped the gun and apologized.
"Here...." Heero
gave Quatre the other blanket.
"Arigatou...."
Quatre reluctantly took the blanket and covered himself. Sleeping in the cold
night air, bare chested was not some sane man would do, especially when he just
got out of water.
Heero looked hard on Quatre.
Something was wrong.
"About the mission...."
Quatre started to say.
Heero closed his eyes and
leaned on the tree. He should've known that he would find out eventually. He
wouldn't bother asking how, as he already had an idea and he didn't like it
one bit. "Hai..."
"You took it. Why?"
Quatre's voice was strained, either from fatigue or something else.
"I had to."
Cerulean met cobalt blue.
The other waited for the other to continue, but neither spoke for quite some
time. Then cobalt blue eyes closed and slowly opened to focus at the fire instead.
"What happened to those who tried to kill me?"
Quatre looked at the fire
too. Then he said softly, "I killed them."
The fire cracked and emulated
a red glow on their faces as they focused on it silently. Heero remained silent
for a while, pondering whether he should tell Quatre that he just killed his
own sister. "You saved my life." He was never good with words but
he would try to evade the question as much as possible, "Arigatou."
"I had to." Quatre
said simply. "I won't let you die."
They remained silent again.
And Quatre once again, asked the question, "Why?" He didn't need to
elaborate. It was obvious that the other pilot was trying to change the subject.
Heero didn't reply, but
eventually said, "It's a long story."
"I have to know, Heero.
Please." Quatre looked down and toyed with his revolver with downcast eyes.
He just wanted to know why.
Heero looked at Quatre's
form and then to the gun. He slowly reached out for the gun and released it
in Quatre's hold. Quatre looked at him, and Heero replied, "I'll tell you........but..."
Quatre just nodded. "Just
tell me....then I won't ask for another."
Heero didn't know where
to start. He was never the one to talk but he had to tell Quatre, somehow. He
gave his word. Besides, he deserved to know.....even if it might hurt. "It
might hurt..."
"I can no longer feel
pain. You don't have to worry about that." Quatre said coldly as he once
again stared at the crackling fire.
A frown crossed Heero's
face as he stared at Quatre. He didn't know why Quatre said what he said. "Very
well....I might as well start in the beginning."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quatre landed his Sandrock
in the hangar and went inside the house looking tired. He still managed to smile
at the others, tiredly. He then went to his room to report the success of his
current mission. Heero was currently typing in his room, doing some reports
himself. They had been very busy lately, everyone always had a mission or two
to attend to each time. Though
most of their missions were pretty easy compared to the others they had been
through.
Heero heard the soft footsteps
outside his open door. He turned his head to see who was coming, and saw Quatre
walk past his door, shoulders slumped. He frowned. True, everyone were almost
always in missions, but Quatre had been the one who had been receiving the most
and hardest missions. He even got another mission as soon as he got back the
last time. He just typed his report then, and left for his next mission that
very same day.
Heero started to see a
pattern on the way their superiors gave missions. Normally, when a hard mission
was handed out to be executed by a lone pilot, at least one among the pilots
have a mission close to it or in stand by. But Quatre's missions were always
the farthest from any of them.
He just ignored that until
he saw that Quatre was tiring himself already. He barely had a day to rest before
being sent to another mission again. True, sometimes all of them didn't have
any mission at the same time, but Quatre would spend that whole day asleep in
his room.
He still didn't mind it.
Until he received a message
from his superior.
::::::::If one of the pilots refuse or fail a mission...kill him automatically.We
decided to remove any uncooperative pilots but then we just settled on removing
an ex-pilot permanently. He can't live since he knows too much about the Gundams.::::::::::::
He didn't understand it
at first. Why would any of them refuse a mission?
They were all seated at
the dining room, eating their dinner. Their laptops were on the kitchen counter,
just in case a mission would come in. And one of the screens blinked. Heero
stood up and looked if it was his laptop, but it was Quatre's. He called Quatre,
and he heard the other boy sigh as he opened the mission file.
Heero stared at his food,
though he could still see the images from Quatre's laptop through the side of
his eyes. Quatre was tired, he just arrived last night and barely slept because
of the reports that he had to make. When the blonde finally closed his laptop
again, everyone was done eating. "Ne....I would volunteer to clean but
I've got things to do. Gomen but I'll go ahead."
Quatre bowed at all of
them goodnight, then left with his laptop to his own room. Duo shook his head,
"Quatre's starting to be like you, Heero......nothing important, just mission."
Heero glared at the remark,
but it was true. It seemed that if Quatre didn't smile once in a while, he would
think that he had met his twin. And it was not something he'd want to happen.
Ever.
Everyone was sleeping already,
Heero was sure of that as he laid awake in his own bed, in his own room. Then
he sat up and faced the laptop. He logged on and typed some passwords and codes,
and then proceeded to hack.
He hacked Quatre's laptop
so he would have access from his own laptop to the files of Quatre. He searched
for the newest file, which was the mission file sent earlier during dinner.
He read the file. It wasn't
hard, not that hard. Same old thing, infiltrate, then annihilate. Though this
one was different, inside-out, instead of outside-in. There were still missing
data, and the scientist said that he would send it out the next few days.
Then suddenly, the screen
blinked and a new message was sent to Quatre's. It was another mission and it
was to be executed the first thing in the morning.
Heero scowled. Quatre just
got back a while ago, and then there it was again. Even he, himself didn't received
didn't receive missions in close successions. What were they trying to do? Tire
Quatre out?
Something snapped when
those thoughts came to him. There was something going on here, but there weren't
enough clues for him to understand just yet. But it was there. He would just
have to find out.
When they woke up the next
day, Quatre wasn't with them for breakfast. But there was a note saying that
he left for mission and would be back at the end of the day or tomorrow morning.
Duo shook his head and muttered that Quatre needed to rest. Trowa nodded silently,
though there was worry in his features already. Even Wufei was worried with
the way Quatre's missions came in like flowing water.
When Quatre came back the
next morning, he looked like he was about to give up. He didn't talk to anyone,
or smiled at all. He just muttered that he won't be eating with them for a while
and then went straight to his room. In a little while, they heard the tapping
of the laptop keys. Trowa shook his head, Duo sat silently and very worried,
Wufei's brows furrowed but remained
silent as well. Heero walked out from his room and watched Quatre's half-opened
door from his position. Then he closed the door and typed something in his laptop
with a determined expression on his face. Quatre would rest the next few days.
Night came and Heero was
sleeping when he heard the beep of a new message. He read the message and downloaded
the files. He read each of the files carefully and silently. Then he gritted
his teeth.
He now understood the message
sent to him by his superior to kill anyone who would refuse any mission. He
was sure that Quatre would refuse this next mission, or even if he did accept,
he would surely fail one way or another. He glared at the mission objective::
name of target:: Shrephileon
base
head:: Kylie W(inner) Shrephileon
objective:: infiltration ; destroy core from inside-out ; total annihilation,
make sure no one survives ; make sure of the death of the head and report back
immediately
There was a picture attached,
and the rest of the files. Everything was hard from the very start but it wouldn't
have been much of a problem if Quatre was well-rested. But besides that fact,
there was another problem.
Kylie Winner Shrephileon
Heero did a search string
on that name to know who that person was, and if she had any connection to the
Winner household. And his instincts were correct. Quatre would definitely deny
this mission, if not....at least fail to kill....his own sister.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end
of flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heero was silent after
he said everything. He never spoke that long in his whole life, but Quatre deserved
to know everything. He looked at the blonde boy, and slightly worried since
he wasn't expecting the reaction that he was getting. He didn't know what Quatre's
reaction would be but he definitely didn't expect Quatre to laugh.
Quatre laughed bitterly,
"So....they wanted me out of the team."
Heero stared, silent and
then started to say something, "Quatre...."
"They wanted me to
die on the battlefield, that's why they kept sending me hard missions and in
close successions. But they couldn't. I survived all those. So they made sure
that I either fail the next one or refuse it." Quatre said darkly.
"We're not sure if
that was what they were planning," Heero said calmly, though he knew that
the blonde was right. But the way Quatre was acting, started to make him worry
for the blonde. Now, he was really unsure on what Quatre's about to do.
"Well....they got
what they wanted. The head of the Shrephileon base is dead. I killed her, and
made sure that she didn't survive. No one could survive being burnt alive in
an exploding jeep. It's just the base now that needed to be annihilated, then
everything should be over." Quatre continued on coldly.
Heero shuddered inside.
Quatre said that he killed his sister with utter coldness. He was about to say
something when Quatre spoke all of a sudden.
"Rest, Heero. You
need it. Don't worry, the mission would be over soon. Your bombs were still
there, I presume. Though it might not be scattered to the right places. Give
me the codes." Quatre ordered as he got his own detonator from his pocket.
Each pilots had one, and it was a general detonator. All it needed was the password
for the bombs planted, and then press the button, boom. Ninmu Kanryou.
Heero was hesitant to give
Quatre the code. True, a mission was a mission, and the head was dead already.
But Quatre really worried him.
"Code, Heero."
Quatre said pointedly.
Heero just nodded and gave
the codes. Quatre programmed everything on the detonator, and then pushed the
button just as quickly. No hesitations, no questions, just pushed it. And there
was a loud explosion heard somewhere. Quatre smirked, "Ninmu Kanryou."
Heero fell silent all of
a sudden. He was seeing himself in Quatre.
And he never wanted to
see any of his personalities in one of his friends, especially Quatre.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
end part 2