Even When Tried by Sorrow

I was listening to the Rurouni Kenshin songs collection that I just bought recently. One song, Kanashimi ni Tamesarete mo (Even When Tried by Sorrow) of Amakusa Sayo, was able to strum a heartstring. Even though it belongs to the RK variety of songs, I couldn't help but think of Umi and Clef. And suddenly, I had an idea for my second Umi-Clef fic! This time it's with the OAV Clef!

Notes and Disclaimers:

          J The Romanji lyrics (in italics) and its English counterpart (in normal font) are enclosed in *.

          J Don't be too hard on me, Asmi (Ascot-Umi) supporters. I'm terribly sorry, but I still hate Ascot.

          J Rayearth, Umi, and Clef belong to the one and only CLAMP: Nanase Okhawa, Mokona Apapa, Satsuki Igarashi, and Mick Nekoi. Don't sue me, my almost non-existent bank account is down to its last two cents and cannot handle any more lawsuits.

          J Lastly, REVIEW! The last fic received such an overwhelming response from you guys; I really appreciate it… (sniff, sniff) Keep it coming!!!

EVEN WHEN TRIED BY SORROW

by: neko-chan

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Kage wo tsukuranai hikari wa nai 
Kanashii keredo 
There is no light that does not pierce the darkness 
It is sad but 
Donna itoshisa ni mitasarete mo 
Kurushimi wa aru 
No matter how much one is filled with affection 
There is suffering 

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Umi gazed at the star-studded sky, mesmerized at its beauty. She sighed longingly and leaned on the wall beside her. I could be contented enough just staying here and looking at the beautiful heavens…

But… she thought as an image of a handsome master mage flickered in her mind. … I would have enjoyed this more if he were with me right now, her face falling in dejection.

But that could no longer be possible. Because Clef… he already has Presea.

Umi held back, tears threatening to overwhelm her again. Stop it; it's time to move on. It's about time to erase that illusion… He… loves someone else…

Returning to Tokyo didn't bring such joy to her. She regretted not telling him how much she loved him and because of failure to do so, her days back home felt empty and lonely. Her days were spent lying in bed only thinking about him and their "relationship". She became so distant and aloof, that her parents were worried about her. That is why when Hikaru and Fuu invited Umi to go back to Cephiro, she leaped at the chance. She wanted to spill her heart out and admit to Clef how she really felt. At that time, she was almost sure that Clef returned her feelings as well, because of the subtle signals he had sent her those times… during their nightly chats… and that time when he saved both her and Fuu from Debonair…

Unfortunately, things didn't go accordingly to how Umi had visualized. She had found out that things have worked out between Clef and Presea and the two eventually became a couple. A pretty close one, it seems. Even though her heart torn out, she forced a smile on her face and congratulated the both. Not one, even Hikaru or Fuu, were sensitive enough to Umi's crying inner self. From that time on, she had avoided all means of communication with him, may it be verbal or oral.

Umi tugged at her nightgown. It has been two weeks since the dreadful revelation, but still she felt the wrenching pain that had seized her heart. Her attention now drew away from the sky; she rested her head above her bended knees, tears flowing out softly.

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Clef hummed to himself a tune, unusually giddy. It was almost Mira's birthday and he wanted to surprise the little child with a nice gift, not only because it was her birthday – but to show his appreciation for helping to enlighten to hearts of the people of Cephiro (after all, their strength of hearts helped the Magic Knights defeat Debonair). Only he had no idea what to give her.

Oh… I know… I'll ask Umi, he thought, mentioning the name of the girl who had spent countless nights to chat with him; as well as the girl whom he has learned to trust and… love.

Umi. The name of the magic knight echoed serenely in his ear. How he missed her and their nightly chats. Ever since coming back two weeks ago, both never had their nightly talks, unlike those times after the Magic Knights came for the second time. He again longed for that warm feeling of comfort and contentment he felt while spending nights with her; either talking by the fountain, in the throne room, or wherever they would cross paths.

He laughed lightly, reliving those wonderful memories. But, now… his expression suddenly fell a notch. Umi wouldn't say a word to him, nor even look at him. She became silent and spent most of her days in her bedroom, except when it was time for meals. And during those meals, she would just look down at her plate of untouched food, ignoring the jovial and cheerful mood surrounding the dining hall. And he had noticed.

Forget the gift. I need to talk to her. I want my old Umi back.

He sprinted to her room, eager to talk to her.

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Tsubasa ga nakutatte hito wa ai shiaeru no 
Chiisa na hohoemi sae 
Sore wa kiseki da to shinjireba 
Arukidaseru 
Though we do not have wings 
Even a small smile 
If you believe that is a miracle 
You can walk on 

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Knock, knock.

"Umi?" The door fell open.

Umi looked up, startled. Her eyes widened, seeing Clef in her doorway, slightly breathless. His face now mirrored the same shocked expression as hers, after it dawned to him that Umi is crying.

"… Clef… it's you…"

He slowly walked to Umi, still frozen in her position by the window. He shut the door behind him.

"… Hi, Clef. It's really… nice to see you," she said in a small voice, avoiding Clef's inquisitive gaze.

He laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. He felt her stiff up with his touch. "What's wrong Umi? You can tell me anything, remember?" His concerned frown deepened. "Well, you used to anyway…"

Umi felt a sweet sensation wash over her at the sound of Clef's sincere and caring tone. "I-It's really nothing, Clef." She decided to lock gazes with his eyes, which was the same color and depth as hers.

He gasped slightly, seeing more tears glisten at her beautiful, vulnerable eyes. How he hated to see even the slightest trace of pain over his angel. Whoever caused this had to pay dearly. "Please don't cry. Tell me… who caused you such pain and suffering? Who had brought about this drastic change in you, Umi?" His hands clenched at the prospect and started to think about what kind of punishment to bestow over such a monstrous being.

What do I say? 'It's you Clef,'? She shook her head inwardly, which made her tears fall. Clef immediately wiped them away. She felt her skin tingle at his touch. "Y-You don't understand, Clef. E-Everything… it's all my fault!"

Umi abruptly got to her feet and let out a soft wail. She scurried out of her room, her cries more aggravated and laced with hurt and pain. Pity and sadness clutched tightly at his heart. Clef leaned against the wall, angry with himself for being unable to cheer up Umi… instead he made things worse.

Umi… his heart screamed. He ran after her.

Chapter 2

Author's notes:

          J Okay, okay, so neither Mira nor her birthday had anything to do with the fic, but I had to come up with an intentionally silly reason to get Clef and Umi talking.