From the first moments of my life, I've been surrounded by and
consumed in darkness. The world is a very cold and lonely place, not a location for the happy or cheerful. Menacing thoughts and depressing lives are led, and angst-filled existances continue to strive on. It's rare to meet a truly happy soul these days. No matter who you talk to, it seems there are always problems. Death is the only escape from these hellishly perpetual troubles... But even death wouldn't be able to make me feel better. No, my problems lie deeper than those of the rest of the world. My problems are, shall we say, unique. But no matter. I'll find a way to return my life to 'normal' somehow. And if I don't, I'll make a point of it to die trying.

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Variation I - Haunting Echo
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The day began as any other day did - with me waking up in the dark. Nothing like getting up before the sun to damper one's disposition. I slipped out of bed and quickly dressed. There were things to plot out before I left for Skool. I knew that Zim was planning something. He had been laying low for the past week; a move that was incredibly out of character for him. Unless he was trying to drive me insane - a move I hadn't ruled OUT yet - there was something big about to go down. I wasn't quite sure what the hell it was, but I knew that I was the only one who could stop it.

Grabbing my trenchcoat, I quietly opened my door and slipped into the hallway. Gaz wouldn't be up for at least another half hour. Dad was probably down in his lab already. I'm not quite sure when the old goat sleeps, but I never saw him asleep once. There was a blip in my thinking as I heard a noise altogether unfamiliar to me coming from down the hall. Sounded like it was coming from...Gaz's room? I cocked an eyebrow and crept down the hall. I idly cursed that Gaz slept with her door closed. As I approached, I heard the noise again. And again, I just couldn't quite place what it WAS.

So instead of trying to open the door, I simply pressed an ear against the wood and listened. ...Ya know, there are times when I curse myself for being too curious. Now was definately one of those times. I realized what the noise had been all too quickly. Gaz was...giggling. Like a normal girl would! Not...that there WERE any normal girls around here. Not only was she giggling, but she was apparently talking to herself. That was MY shtick! Well...not on purpose, of course. People seemed to randomly wander off when I was talking and...oh, nevermind.

It took me awhile to figure out what the heck was going on... but it became clear soon enough. Gaz had a diary, of all things, and seemed to be writing in it. ...and talking quietly AS she wrote. I listened for awhile about her going on about forcing down emotions... and then there was a ten minute tirade about the lack of hard GameSlave games. And then... well... I don't like to think about what I overheard next. Mainly because it involved Gaz talking about Zim. Oh, it would've been fine if she had been telling her dear diary that she was secretly rooting for ME to win and expose Zim for the alien that he is. But no, there would be none of THAT. Not with MY little sister. Not only was she NOT on my side, she seemed to have a CRUSH on that little green freak!

Some days, it didn't pay to get out of bed.

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Ahh, rain. I know thee well. Out of nowhere, a damned downpour had started. Secluded, typically enough, over the route I took to Skool. At least I wouldn't have to be paranoid about Zim sneaking up on me. I had always enjoyed rain. On rainy days, both Gaz and myself seemed to be in better spirits. Possibly because with nature taking the moods the two of us were usually in, it gave us a chance to be kids. Or maybe it was just the water, I dunno. Either way, rain had always seemed nice to me. The fact that it was like acid to Zim's Irkin skin was just an added bonus.

Gaz had taken the bus, but I had opted to walk. Sure, I might get to Skool a bit later than usual, but it gave me a chance to think. Instead of wandering off on a recon mission of Zim's house, I had stayed back and waited for Gaz to emerge from her room. When she finally did, she seemed like the normal Gaz -I- knew. Slipped back into her shell when people were around. Now THAT was a familiar move. If people knew what -really- went through my mind, I'd be institutionalized (Not that Gaz hadn't tried on occasion, anyway).

Of all the damned people on this godsforsaken planet, why did my sister have to have a crush on my sworn enemy?! I seemed to be undecided on how, exactly, to handle the situation. One part of me wanted to just block out what I heard - to continue as if nothing had happened. Another wanted me to spaz out and go on a tirade to her on how dangerous Zim was. That part got ruled out because Gaz never LISTENED to me. And then another part was idly curious as to how that alien scum felt about GAZ. And then there was the protective older brother in me trying to surface. Gaz could take care of herself, sure, but that never stopped me from at least -trying- to watch out for her.

And so, the day's events went from spying on Zim to get evidence, to spying on Zim to make sure the little knob wasn't going to hurt my little sister. If Zim liked her, I was going to have a few NEW problems arise. Once I finally expose Zim for what he is, Gaz would kill ME. But if I didn't expose him, Zim would...somehow...conquer the Earth! Well, hell, it's a lose/lose situation, so I might as well be noble about it.
Never let it be said that I never did anything to help out my sister.

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