Disclaimer:
What? You didn't know I didn't own Cardcaptors? Are you serious? Really? Well,
sorry to disappoint you but CLAMP does, well, they own the original one, stupid
Nelvana screwed things up. O.k., I better stop or else you'll be getting a long
lecture thing 'bout why Nelvana sucks, soooo, go read my story. Now! Please?
A/N:
So who's been waiting for this chapter? Probably no one. *sigh* Well, if you
read the first chapter, that was Meilin, now it's Li's turn! Or rather Syaoran.
*sigh* Isn't he the most adorable bishounen ever? Okiez, I'll shut up now...S+S
forever!
Dear
Diary, I mean JOURNAL (You know guys and their sensitivity on these kinda
things.)
I
just got this feeling…it's not like a premonition or anything, it's just there,
trying to tell me something…maybe it is a premonition. I don't know. But ever
since Mom walked in and told me that the Elders wanted to talk to me, this
feeling came. Maybe I should talk to Meilin about it. Whoops, too late.
Syaoran
Dear
Di…Journal,
Well,
I guess that feeling I had was premonition. In a few days, I'm going to be
leaving Hong Kong to go to Japan. Why? To do my duty to the Clan. To capture
the Clow cards that have been released and bring them back. I'm going to miss
Meilin. I hope she'll understand. I love her too much for her to suffer.
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
I
just told Meilin. I can hear her crying already. Maybe I should have told her
how I felt and how much I'll miss her…I was just trying to make it easier for both
of us. It's not like I'm not going to be coming back…right?
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
I
started packing today, Journal. In a way, I felt like I was taking away some
part of me and putting it away in my suitcase. But then again, I felt
so...empty. Like I was just moving through life without a soul. Just doing what
I'm supposed to be doing but unknowingly. You know what I mean? (A.N:
Confusing, ne?) Of course you don't know. You're just a book. What am I
thinking?
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
I
wrote Meilin a letter, telling her my feelings. I know I've been somewhat
unemotional towards her these last couple of days. I know she'll be happy after
reading my letter. She just has to be. I don't want to feel like I failed her.
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
I
left today. It felt so awful. I just handed Meilin her letter and just left.
Just like that. No hug, no nothing. Stupid Li Clan training. Controlling my
emotions, what a bust!
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
I
came all the way here to Japan to look for those darn Clow cards and what do I
find? Some inexperienced girl who knows nothing! She's so stupid, so
inexperienced, so…pretty. Oh man, what am I saying? This is just scaring me. I
think I need to clear my mind…
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
Meilin
came today. Here. To be with me. But she was acting all weird. I think it was
because she's upset since I didn't go pick her up with Wei. But if she's angry
at me, wouldn't she be ignoring me instead?
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
Meilin
is really starting to get on my nerves. She's been hanging onto me and yelling
at girls who so much as look at me. She's so possessive. It's not like she owns
me or anything. I hope Meilin's comments didn't hurt Sakura.
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
I've
been thinking…Did I ever really love Meilin at all? I mean, you don't want to
yell at the one you love or feel as if you want to tell her to get lost, right?
You would want to protect the one you love and watch out for her and want to be
with her all the time, right? So does that mean I'm in love with Sakura? She is
really pretty, out-going, cheerful, and I think she's just so adorable. Wait.
Did I just say all that? I meant, oh, I don't know what I meant. Just forget I
ever said that.
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
I
don't know what came over me but after that confusing, yet somehow, enlightening
entry I wrote in you, I took a walk. And I ended up at Sakura's house. I
couldn't help myself, I just jumped up into the tree near her window and
watched her sleep. She's just so beautiful. And, yes, adorable. I admit I think
that. You should have seen her today. She's such a graceful skater. She didn't
start out that way, but in the end… And did I ever tell you how cute she looks
in her cheerleading outfit? Of course, I would never tell her that but that's
not the point.
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
I've
been thinking…and I've come to accept the fact that I never did love Meilin. I
think I just wanted someone to love and someone who would love me back. Well,
at least now I've covered the first part. I've found someone to love. But does
she love me back? I guess it really doesn't matter. As long as I can be near
her enough to protect her and now that she's safe and happy, I'll be fine…I
hope…for now.
Syaoran
Watching
you as you go through life,
Wondering
if I can ever be the one standing beside you,
Lending
my strength to you and you,
Lending
your strength to me.
Wishing
I could hold you in my embrace,
Looking
deep into your eyes and searching your soul,
For
that same feeling I have for you.
Hoping
one day my wish will come true,
I
will be content just knowing you are my friend.
But
one day, I know that won't be enough.
And
until that day,
I
will be your friend,
Being
thankful that I'm able to just protect you,
And
make you happy.
But
when that day comes,
I
just don't know what I'll do.
Maybe
by then,
My
feelings will be returned.
All
I can do now,
Is
wish, hope and wait.
Dear
Journal,
What
do you think of my poem? I never thought I was the kind to write like that but
Sakura just inspires me so much. In fact, just thinking about her right now is
inspiring me.
Syaoran
Your
glossy brown hair moves with the wind,
Your
jade green eyes twinkling as you look at me.
Every
time you look at me so,
I
feel just a little more hope,
Giving
me a little more courage.
The
courage to tell you just what I feel.
But
then my mouth opens to spill you my secrets,
The
words in my head seem to get stuck there,
Like
someone is preventing them from reaching your ears.
As
you look at me expectantly,
I
can feel my cheeks grow warm,
Not
just because I realize I have nothing to say,
But
your intent gaze.
Green
had always been my favorite colour.
And
the green depths of your eyes,
Makes
me wonder if it was because of you.
Then
I remember,
Green
had been my colour before I knew you.
Still,
something makes me feel that I've known you forever.
And
maybe somehow I knew you before I actually met you.
That
would explain my fascination with your eyes,
The
wonder as I look into the jaded green windows to your soul.
Dear
Journal,
I
decided today that it wouldn't be fair to Meilin. It just wouldn't be fair to
her and myself to marry her if I was in love with another. I wanted to tell her
today, but I felt too guilty. I had told her I had loved her, even though I
hadn't. At that time, I really thought I did. But now I know better. But what's
really making it hard for me to tell her is that I think she really does love
me. Like the way I love Sakura. Speaking of Sakura (A.N: He changes the subject
rather quickly.), did I ever tell you that she has the cutest expressions? Even
when she's sad or angered. But when she's sad, her eyes fill with sorrow and I
just can't help but feel sad too, knowing that something is upsetting her.
*sigh* Sakura…
Syaoran
(Awww…how
cute!)
Dear
Journal,
Well,
I finally told Meilin. I told her I was going to get our engagement dissolved.
I'm not sure if I'll be able to but if it happens…I'll tell Sakura about how I
feel. I just hope she'll feel the same way. I don't know what I would do if she
rejected me…
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
I
have the best news! My engagement with Meilin was dissolved! I would never have
guessed the Elders would allow it but they did! When I first heard it from my
mother, I almost dropped the phone. And then, I could hardly sit through a
conversation with my mother. I just wanted to go and tell Sakura. When I hung
up, I started feeling nervous. I was two steps out the door before I came back
here, to write in you. So maybe I shouldn't celebrate just yet. I might need to
sit through rejection.
Syaoran
Dear
Journal,
I
think I've died and gone to heaven. That would explain my head in the clouds.
Right after I finished my last entry in you, I somehow mustered up courage to
tell her! And can you believe what she said? She told me she loved me! Oh heck,
I think I'm hyperventilating.
Syaoran
(A.N:
Yes, I know, this is a bit OOC but heck, you try being in Syaoran's brain for
so long. You'll go crazy too.)
The
day I went to tell you how I felt,
It
took me some time,
Before
I could muster up the courage.
I
stood there in front of you.
You
waited expectantly,
Yet
eagerly to hear what I had to say,
I
opened my mouth and waited.
And
this time,
The
words came.
They
spilled out over my tongue,
And
when they ran out,
I
waited.
I
couldn't look into your eyes,
My
head was down,
I
was too nervous,
Afraid
I would break down.
Then
you said it.
Your
voice like a melody of the nightingale.
You
told me you loved me.
From
then on,
I
was lost.
Lost
in the world of dreams, hope and happiness.
Just
because you said those three words.
I
love you.
Awww….isn't
this whole chapter cute? I threw in those poems because, doesn't Syaoran seem
like that kinda guy? I think he's like that. Anyway, I'm really sorry about the
last entry, it really didn't seem like him. I hope you liked this entry. Next
person on the list, Sakura Kinomoto. Wonder what she has to say?
Mikayla
Syaora Yakaishi Winner
